Intro woes...3 months in.

Hi Everyone,

I will try to make this as detailed as possible, but not too long. I have had a female cat for a little over seven years, "Warren Girl". She has been with me since she was a kitten and does need to be the dominant one in the household, even over us humans. She has us wrapped around her little claw. She did not get spayed until she was 1-2 years old, but has never had kittens herself. She has sort of peacefully coexisted with another older male cat for a brief time years ago, where she would chase the cat but not aggressively or in a stalking manner. It was more of a "leave me alone" thing from what we could tell. Other than that, she has attacked (no injuries) another female, and when stray cats have come up to our patio when we had an apartment, she would attempt to attack through the glass screen door. She has lived with a very mellow lab mix neutered male dog almost her whole life, and they do great together, peacefully coexist.

We recently bought a home and got another cat... a neutered male about 5 months old. He is very confident in his surroundings, but definitely not dominant. We knew our adult cat, Warren Girl would need to go slow with the intros, so we did. I work at a shelter and followed the intro steps given to me and each step was going great. The adult cat did fine in the kitten's room, not being aggressive and snuggling in the cat carrier "Hunter" slept in when we would switch rooms. She was very comfortable in "his" room. It was probably three weeks, before we even attempted actual introductions, and I put them both on leashes to better control the situation. My cat was showing some aggressive or stalking behaviors with the leashes. So we went out and bought a screen door and put that on the room the kitten was in, and reinforced it with chicken wire. That way during the day, they could visually see each other and become "desensitized" to seeing each other. No cat has attempted to break through the screen which we see as good. When both of us humans are around, we have tried a few times to let them loose and Warren has gotten to him with hisses and swatting, but no actual injuries. We obviously don't want this to become normal, so after seeing that it was not a one time incident we have put Warren on leash, because Hunter sees Warren and does get scared, so even though he is a kitten, he is understanding the signs she is giving, and does not keep trying to go up to her. He is being submissive and pretty much respecting her. At this point, I just want my older cat to ignore the kitten and not keep stalking the kitten.

One night, I held Hunter in my arm's and we let Warren free (as opposed to the normal leash for her) and she decided to come up on my lap and cuddle right next to the kitten, no hissing or aggressive behavior. We thought this was progress, and thought maybe she was just having issues when the kitten was moving around (which we still thought was weird). But once after this, Warren came up to Hunter who I was holding and tried biting his paw. I have since gotten her on Feliway, where I spray a hankerchief that she wears all the time. That does not seem to be helping a lot. I know based off of all the steps that we have done, that my older cat should be fine with the kitten. We just seem stuck at the last step. I want to take it slow, but I don't want things to get worse while we wait, aka the cat learning to be aggressive with kitten just based off of tense body posture, etc. Both cats will eat right next to each other off leashes and be fine. I have bought toys to entertain her, but once she sees the kitten loose, her eyes are fixated on him, If it is through the screen door they are both fine, no hissing, swatting, etc. We are in the process of building some cat shelves, but it doesn't seem like that would be the cure all. And I have heard of Feliway diffusers being better than the spray, but if the spray isn't helping, would the diffusers be that big of a difference?

I really haven't heard of a similar situation to this and am hoping for some guidance on what may be the older cat, Warren's issues...territory, dominance, true aggression? I'll take any advice I can get. Happy Holidays and thank you in advance for the advice! Let me know if there is any confusion or if you need more information on the situation.

Based on Warren's previous behavior around cats, I have to say that she really likely ought to be an only cat. I think you have followed the right steps, I just don't feel confident that she is going to accept this kitten (or any other cat) sharing space with her. Her behavior could be any one or a combination of any of the issues you mentioned (territory, dominance and, as a result, aggression....even play aggression.)

Having lived as the only cat for close to 7 yrs, she simply may not want another cat around.

Now, if her behavior is simply some hissing/swatting, you could see this as normal. Is there growling with ears back, tail/back arched and puffy?

Hi,

The growling stopped at about week 2. Obviously with this being the beginning of month four with trying introductions, things are well with the screen door in place. Even when Warren is being held and Hunter is loose, her ears are never back and she is never in an arched position when she sees him, the only signs are the eye fixated on him (eyes are dilated) and tail swooshing (not always at a fast pace).

We did just try an interaction a few minutes ago, and Warren was in the cat carrier with door open and saw Hunter and was fine, but after a few minutes when both were out and about, I don't know who started it, but Warren eventually chased Hunter into corner and there was hissing, etc... no injuries to either. I am committed to both and don't really see rehoming as a good option at this point, especially when all the steps upto both being loose in the home are good. We did just notice after this most recent altercation that Warren was trying to get Hunter through the screen door in a more aggressive manner. Thinking we might have to do introductions at the first step again, blocking visual access to each other and go slower than we initially did.

We have also noticed Warren Girl's eyes are dilated a fair amount of time, even when Hunter is in his room and we are playing with her in the rest of the house. Could it be that she is more stressed than she is showing outwardly to me and my bf? Any tips for that?

While I am very distressed that there isn't any real progress when both are loose in the home past the 3 month mark, I am optimistic due to her doing so well when they are both eating food right next to each other, as well as a few times when she has walked past Hunter with no aggression. I just don't know besides reintroduction if there are other tips to try to get her to just not be so fixated on him.

Thanks!

eyecatsmeaman said:

 
Hi,

The growling stopped at about week 2. Obviously with this being the beginning of month four with trying introductions, things are well with the screen door in place. Even when Warren is being held and Hunter is loose, her ears are never back and she is never in an arched position when she sees him, the only signs are the eye fixated on him (eyes are dilated) and tail swooshing (not always at a fast pace).

We did just try an interaction a few minutes ago, and Warren was in the cat carrier with door open and saw Hunter and was fine, but after a few minutes when both were out and about, I don't know who started it, but Warren eventually chased Hunter into corner and there was hissing, etc... no injuries to either. I am committed to both and don't really see rehoming as a good option at this point, especially when all the steps upto both being loose in the home are good. We did just notice after this most recent altercation that Warren was trying to get Hunter through the screen door in a more aggressive manner. Thinking we might have to do introductions at the first step again, blocking visual access to each other and go slower than we initially did.

We have also noticed Warren Girl's eyes are dilated a fair amount of time, even when Hunter is in his room and we are playing with her in the rest of the house. Could it be that she is more stressed than she is showing outwardly to me and my bf? Any tips for that?

While I am very distressed that there isn't any real progress when both are loose in the home past the 3 month mark, I am optimistic due to her doing so well when they are both eating food right next to each other, as well as a few times when she has walked past Hunter with no aggression. I just don't know besides reintroduction if there are other tips to try to get her to just not be so fixated on him.

Thanks!

Click to expand...

I'm inclined to agree with CatPack on this one.  Some cats just are not other animal cats.  They need to be only pets.  My sister's cat, Belle, was like this.  They got 2 puppies and they just had to separate them completely.  Keep Belle upstairs and the boys downstairs.  Because they tried all of my suggestions and the vets.  It just didn't work.  And that is the harsh reality sometimes.  Also I should note that my sister did take her to a behavior specialist and found out she had a chemical imbalance which contributed to her behavior. 

Her eyes are dilated and tail swooshes because she is ready to attack.  She is PO'd that he is in her space and she is just waiting for an opportunity. She sees him as prey.  She sees him as something that needs to be eliminated.  She wants him out of her space. 

What's done is done.  If you want to keep both cats because it will take an enormous amount of work with Warren to get her to even coexist with Hunter... And I mean enormous and there is no guarantee it will work because it just may be her personality trait.  You may have to separate them entirely.  Keep one or both in there "areas" put their toys, beds, furniture in there and just bring them out (separately) for interactions when you and your husband are home.  It will be a big change for Warren who has had the run of the house, I am assuming, all this time.  You could just leave Hunter in his area during the day and bring him out when she is put in her room at night.  It seems cruel but sometimes you just can't force a cat to accept a new one. 

Jackson Galaxy has many video's on this but to be honest, you've done most of it already and it's yielded little results.  So his suggestion would be a behavior specialist for her next.  It will be expensive but if you really want to try to get them to peacefully coexist, it may be your only option.  You can ask your vet for behavior specialist recommendations.

Mark me down as in agreement with the others. It sounds like Warren is willing to passively accept another cat in the home as long as she's not expected to interact or compete with them. The first few steps can be inside a cat's comfort zone, but when they reach the end of their comfort, they are done. You can't assume that because they accept step 1 they must accept the rest. 

Growing up we had a cat much like your female. She was our only indoor outdoor cat.

We later did get other cats, but she never ever did accept them. The only cat she ever befriended was another female outdoor cat, I think because there was plenty of room to walk away. There weren't fights with our other cats but nope, she avoided them and vice versa. It was painful to see. She was a very lonely cat but nothing could be done.

Cats are not pack animals.  This is a common misconception.  Dogs almost need the company but cats do not.  This is not to say they can't and won't enjoy a "friend."  However, some just will not tolerate it and the older they are, the harder and more impossible it is to get them to accept a "friend."  So, keeping them separated may be the only way for them to peacefully coexist.  If you could reason with her, it might help, it might not.  Cats have their own mind.