Rough play or bullying?

unozero

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We have two cats. The older cat is 13+, and we've had her for all that time. She had a companion that passed away a few years ago. Earlier this year we adopted a new cat, a 2 year old male (or maybe a bit younger, no one is sure).

The old cat is short haired and small. She is a lap cat and enjoys sleeping and cuddling. The new cat, we discovered, is a very playful and energetic cat that apparently came from a household with way too many cats. He has a lot of energy; I mean a LOT. We play with him with interactive toys, and he'll still run up and down the house like crazy afterwards. He also gets bored of toys easily, and he wrecks them anyway by pulling out the feathers or string.

Both cats have been seen by our vet and they are ok. They are both fixed. They are exclusively indoor, no negotiations.

Once the younger cat became familiar with the surroundings, he began to chase the older cat. At first this was him following her around and trying to sniff her, and chasing after her when she got fed up and ran away.

His behaviour has been getting worse though. Recently, we've noticed that in addition to chasing the older cat, he tries to pounce on her and bite her neck. Sometimes he'll pounce so hard he does a somersault roll. This makes the older cat yelp and cry, and eventually she runs and jumps on the couch or some other elevated surface. Sometimes the younger cat will continue the 'game' by waiting for her to come down from the couch or whatever. 

We've tried making loud noises, tossing toys and scolding the younger cat when we catch him rushing or trying to the other cat. But nothing works; he'll stop for a second and then get back to chasing her. Now I try to give him a verbal warning whenever he gets too close to the other cat, because I'm afraid he'll suddenly decide she's a toy to play with.

Fortunately, he hasn't really injured the older cat so far. But she's rather old and not much of a fighter, whereas the younger cat is bigger, stronger and faster. I can't figure out if he's just an overgrown kitten and that this is just rough play on his part, or whether he's gradually ramping up the bullying in an effort to 'chase' the old cat out.

I'm already so sad that the cats don't like each other much (they don't cuddle together or groom one another); I really would like to keep both of them but I don't want my older cat to get hurt or super stressed.

Anyone else have a similar scenario? Is it just rough play or is he trying to make the other cat's live a living hell?
 

p3 and the king

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He is attempting to assert his dominance.  Older cats and younger cats often clash.  Especially if they have opposite energies.  My suggestion would be to look into getting a 3rd cat around the same age and kind of in between both of their opposite personalities.  One that is playful but not dominant.  Normally I wouldn't suggest this but if he is bored easily with toys, he needs a playmate that is appropriate for him.  And she'll get some peace. 

Did you do a proper introduction when you brought him in?  If not, you may try a positive reinforcement reintroduction.  Jackson Galaxy of My Cat From Hell has many videos on how to do so. 

Maybe you could establish an area just for her?  Sort of an escape?  Put her toys and beds and stuff in there and when he is being too rowdy, you can put her in there for safe keeping.  It's not a punishment.  She'll enjoy it. 
 
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unozero

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Thanks for the reply. 

We did introduce them in stages over the course of a week or two. The older cat has a drafting chair she likes to sleep on in my office. I try to shoo the younger cat out of the office when he comes in, but I'm not sure if that helps or makes it worse if he really is having dominance issues.

Will the younger cat calm down after some time? 

We did consider a third cat but I don't think me or my husband is comfortable with the idea. I'm really frustrated because I thought the younger cat was going to be chill and the rescue people made him out to be this poor neglected soul from a cat lady house. Now I'm wondering if he got the boot for being a bully, or being overactive.
 

di and bob

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I don't think your young male is a bully, he's just YOUNG and full of energy. We sometimes forget how manic kittens can be, really all the way up to 3 years old or so.My female had the exact same thing going with a new young male, and finally one day about 1.5 years into it she got fed up and took HIM. After that he kept his distance but still enjoyed leaping out at her and scaring her. We did get another energetic younger male and that took care of the problem, they play and run, she rules them both from a distance! It IS better to sternly say NO before your young one pounces, I yell loud when I see one of mine about to pounce and they change their minds in a hurry, they don't want a 5 minute time out. My Chrissy had a bed on top of the fridge where she could be alone, your sweet older one should have a safe place too to go too. It sounds like your doing everything right, it will just take time, good luck!
 
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unozero

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Well, it's been a while, so I thought I'd just update in case anyone has similar issues:

So, we let the two cats just go about their business, and I guess they have worked things out on their own. Somewhat.

The younger cat no longer tries to pounce on the older cat like he did before. Instead, he tends to go up to her slowly. They stare at each other a bit and one or the other will start lazily 'patting' the other with a paw.

They then get into what looks like a slow motion wrestling match, except it's not exactly slow. It's not a fight, but I don't think it's quite play either. At least, I think the older cat doesn't quite enjoy it as play. Younger cat tries to wrestle and nibble. It's wierd, sometimes the older cat will be pinned under and sometimes its the other way round. We've noticed the older cat sometimes  sticks her paw on the younger cat's head and starts to lick it . I don't think she's grooming the younger cat, it's more like she's saying 'sit still'.

The younger cat hasn't hurt the older cat, and while it sounds scary the older cat meows loudly when the younger cat gets too rough or if she wants him to stop and the wrestling match ends. 

We occasionally interject if the younger cat is in one of his hyperactive moods and wont stop pestering the older cat. It doesn't seem like he really wants to beat her up, but he sometimes gets too hyper and doesn't quit when he should.

We also bought them one of those motorized mouse catcher toys, they seem to like that and can sit together to try and catch the 'mouse' under the sheet. 

So, it looks like they'll probably not be friends any time soon, but at least it doesn't seem like younger cat will hurt older cat or bully her too much.

He is still being a bit of a jerk when she uses the litterbox, he likes to go in and WATCH. Doesn't chase her away while she's using it. Just acts like a creep. Then when she's done he'll go in and start digging around for some reason.
 

lisaw

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HI, Just thought I'd reply as I have a similar problem. I had a 4 yr old rescue male desexed Tonkinese (I think) At least that's what he looks like.... Anyway... He was very playful and can from a house with other cats, so I thought getting another cat would be good for him. I got another rescue male desexed cat (just a tabby this time) that was about 12 months old.

The new cat was very relaxed, nothing fazes him. They do chase each other around which is what I was hoping for, but then the tabby gets rough and jumps on the other ones back biting him on the back of the neck. The Tonkinese doesn't like this and gets upset. Growling and struggling. Fur flies and they separate usually with the tonk running to find me to protect him.

I read about a technique where you scruff the aggressive cat and make a hissing sound while gently holding his head down near the floor. This has had some results and now all I have to do is make the hissing sound and the fight usually breaks up.

Not sure what goes on when I'm not at home.
 
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