Merry Christmas my best friend and hero Bruce

catconcern · Dec 21, 2014

Merry Christmas my baby boy. My first Christmas without you and it hurts me everyday still that you are gone. I feel I abandoned you and deserted your trust in me. It kills me that you were under anesthetic unsuspecting as to what would transpire and I told you I wouldn't put you down. The smart boy that you are and your unbelievable ability with your sixth sense hurts me even more knowing you probably knew that you wpuldnt wake up from your operation. I'd say there is a huge chance you knew your time was up, and it kills me. It kills me that you were scared when I left you and would have been scared and felt abandoned waiting in the cage for your op. I live with this, and will for the rest of my life.

I wish I acted different. I want you here with me. I love you. Merry Christmas my guardian angel.

God bless you Bruce.

I Love you.

Kat0121 · Dec 21, 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a tough time of year for a lot of us who have dealt with the death of a loved one, human or animal. Please don't beat yourself up over Bruce's death. It doesn't help you heal and Bruce wouldn't want you to suffer this way. He loves you too. He'd want you to be happy. If you haven't already done so, find another kitty who needs you and give him or her a home. They will not replace Bruce but will can provide some loving companionship and when the time is right, you and Bruce will be reunited and there won't be any would haves, could haves, should haves. Just 2 best friends together again forever. Hang in there, you will get through this with Bruce watching over you.

catconcern · Dec 21, 2014

Thanks. That was a great post. I have 3 kittens, they've helped me a lot. You're right, Bruce would want me to be happy. I just know he loved this earth tho and his house and us, it hurts knowing I robbed him of that. But yes he would want me to be happy.

Kat0121 · Dec 21, 2014

catconcern said:
Thanks. That was a great post. I have 3 kittens, they've helped me a lot. You're right, Bruce would want me to be happy. I just know he loved this earth tho and his house and us, it hurts knowing I robbed him of that. But yes he would want me to be happy.

You didn't rob him of anything. It wasn't your fault. You would never have hurt him or caused him pain. You loved him. Unfortunately, it was his time to go. In our minds and our hearts, it's never the right time. You're right though, he probably did know. They usually do. You gave him unconditional love, a good home and a family. Things every cat should have but so many never get. Think about all the good times you had with him, all the silly things he did that made you laugh. Those will get you through the sad times.

di and bob · Dec 22, 2014

You gave your sweet baby the greatest gift of love that can be given, freedom from a painful death. I do know the unending guilt and pain you suffer from, it is a price we pay for loving so much. Try not to dwell on the death, your precious baby would never want you to be so sad, relive your happy memories and keep them alive in your heart. You would never purposely do anything harmful to Bruce, you did what you knew in your heart was right, and you did it out of love. We can all only live in the moment, the past is forever lost to us and the future is yet to be. We have to force ourselves at times to not dwell in the past and keep alive all the pain it brings, but live for the now. Those three kittens deserve to be in your heart too, and I know in my heart Bruce is moving over to make room for them. The love you two shared can never be replaced, the love you are sharing now is separate and different, like a parent who loves all of their children, each different and separate from the other. It does help to accept support from others who understand your pain, to release some of the pain to prevent it from festering, and allow your broken heart to heal. My thoughts and prayers are with you, the heavens gained a beautiful angel when they received your precious Bruce!