Need help curbing aggressive behavior...I'm desperate.

My cat is 18 months old. I got him at 6 weeks old (I know that's too early). He is very high energy, presumably due to his age and diet. I play with him almost every day (I have two jobs so sometimes I simply don't have time) for around an hour, give or take. My roommate's 8 year old daughter also plays with him during the afternoon when I'm at work. He has tons of toys to play with (I work at a pet store, lucky him!).

About 40% of the time, he's super sweet and cuddly, which is how he was as a kitten. He'll let you pet him for hours, snuggle up on your chest, and just be totally adorable and charming.

The rest of the time, he is totally wild. For almost a year now, I have had problems with him biting and clawing people. Not just hands, either. Often, he will literally pounce out of nowhere and latch onto my back or calves and sink his teeth in. It's painful and he draws blood more often than not. I don't really know how to react when he does this. I usually pick him up and set him in his carrier for a time out, which deals with the immediate threat but it hasn't stopped the behavior from recurring. He also bites hands when people try to give him attention at times. He will be totally cool and then lash out of nowhere. I know this is commonly due to overstimulation, but it seems to be random because there are times when he lays down contentedly, and will bite you if you approach him to pet him - not just after you've already started petting him. I know my cat pretty well, but he doesn't give any warning signs before biting. Everytime you attempt to touch him you are taking a risk because at times the attention will be welcomed, and at times it won't be - for no apparent reason - and his first response if it's unwelcomed will be to bite you. It makes it hard to spend time with him because I don't trust him, and with the projectile pounce and latch, I worry about my roommate's daughter. I love my stupid cat but I don't want to compromise my living situation because I don't have a lot of options.

He is neutered. I have tried positive reinforcement, which doesn't seem to have an effect. I try time outs and withdrawing my attention, but clearly over the long-term this hasn't been effective in eradicting the behavior. I still do "NO BITING" - which, again, obviously isn't helping. I also tried the yelping thing but dropped it after a few months because it had no effect. I cannot get another kitten (as much as I want to) because my roommate already has another cat (who is old and lazy and hates my cat, who tries to antagonize her into playing with him) and I don't want to mess around with feline compatibility between them and a new cat (plus I doubt my roommate would be okay with it). The next thing I'm going to try are the Sentry Calming Collars. I wanted to try Comfort Zone but the collar is a lot more cost effective because our apartment is pretty large and the behavior isn't limited to any particular area.

Do you guys have any advice for me? My cat and I's relationship is deteriorating - too often I end up crying because I can't understand why he's doing this and we can't spend time together because of it.

Thanks!

Technically, he is still a kitten, or a juvenile cat.  He sounds like my Tyrion.  The Calming Collar and the diffusers probably aren't going to do a whole lot unfortunately.  Those are more for cats that are dealing with anxiety and stress.  Or have a confidence issue.  Which he does not.  I have a boy just like him.... My Tyrion.  He is the sweetest boy most of the time, but he is a rambunctious brat the other percentage of the time.  He can be quite awful, too.  He has held the position, (and he is quite proud of it, too) as worst patient at the vet for 2 yrs now. 

For the most part, I learn to pick up on clues that he's about to go dark side.... You will too.  Start to notice things your kitty might do before he strikes... Do spasms go down his back?  Does he stiffen up?  Do his ears fold back?  Does he give you an irritated meow?  Most cats do something... Something that says "Enough for now! I'm going to bite!"  In that case just put him down or walk away and let him have a few moments of peace.  He is biting you because he is overstimulated. 

Cats need time outs, too.  Just let him be for awhile and when he is ready, he will find you.  Tell your roommate the same, to leave him be.  You just have to learn his cues.  That is all.  You can try the calming collar and see if it helps at all... But like I said, it's more for fearful cats and he is not. 

P3 and The King said:

Technically, he is still a kitten, or a juvenile cat.  He sounds like my Tyrion.  The Calming Collar and the diffusers probably aren't going to do a whole lot unfortunately.  Those are more for cats that are dealing with anxiety and stress.  Or have a confidence issue.  Which he does not.  I have a boy just like him.... My Tyrion.  He is the sweetest boy most of the time, but he is a rambunctious brat the other percentage of the time.  He can be quite awful, too.  He has held the position, (and he is quite proud of it, too) as worst patient at the vet for 2 yrs now. 

For the most part, I learn to pick up on clues that he's about to go dark side.... You will too.  Start to notice things your kitty might do before he strikes... Do spasms go down his back?  Does he stiffen up?  Do his ears fold back?  Does he give you an irritated meow?  Most cats do something... Something that says "Enough for now! I'm going to bite!"  In that case just put him down or walk away and let him have a few moments of peace.  He is biting you because he is overstimulated. 

Cats need time outs, too.  Just let him be for awhile and when he is ready, he will find you.  Tell your roommate the same, to leave him be.  You just have to learn his cues.  That is all.  You can try the calming collar and see if it helps at all... But like I said, it's more for fearful cats and he is not. 

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Thanks for your response. He does get ripples down his back. I also read those could be ghost pains? Anyway, preventing the attacks doesn't really work because he will attack me unprovoked. Example: I will be changing or walking down the hall, and he will launch himself onto my calves or my back and sink in his teeth and claws. This is the biggest issue with it, because leaving him alone when he wants to be left alone is easy enough. But when people are minding their own business and not bothering him, and he attacks them so severely that is a big problem. He literally attaches himself. He's given me multiple puncture wounds and the ordeal usually ends in me screaming and trying to fling him off, while he tries to continue to hurt me. He draws blood every time, and he will keep trying to do the same thing until I can get him in his carrier (usually sacrificing my hands in the process). This seems like a particularly vicious behavior to me.

delitebrite said:

Thanks for your response. He does get ripples down his back. I also read those could be ghost pains? Anyway, preventing the attacks doesn't really work because he will attack me unprovoked. Example: I will be changing or walking down the hall, and he will launch himself onto my calves or my back and sink in his teeth and claws. This is the biggest issue with it, because leaving him alone when he wants to be left alone is easy enough. But when people are minding their own business and not bothering him, and he attacks them so severely that is a big problem. He literally attaches himself. He's given me multiple puncture wounds and the ordeal usually ends in me screaming and trying to fling him off, while he tries to continue to hurt me. He draws blood every time, and he will keep trying to do the same thing until I can get him in his carrier (usually sacrificing my hands in the process). This seems like a particularly vicious behavior to me.

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So he is EXACTLY like Tyrion then.... That is what I meant by a time out.  If you have a room you can put him in where he can decompress all of his energy when he is what I call "Dark side" that is very helpful for Tyrion.  Even today, I have to give him time outs or he lashes out at me, the other cats, whomever he can.  It is just because he overstimulated.  He needs time to himself to decompress.  Don't think of it as a punishment but cats really need time to themselves once in awhile.  Put him in the room and don't yell at him or be negative with him.  Just put him in a room, by himself... And you'll learn as time goes on how long it needs to be: 15 minutes, half an hour, an hour, whatever.  Tyrion has learned when he is ready to come back out and be nice, he just asks by meowing.  I let him out and he is an angel. 

I would also recommend putting him in another room when you have visitors, too.  They seem to stress him out.  Perfectly normal.  Some cats just aren't company types of cats.  I have to put Tyrion in time out too when I have guests.  He doesn't like visitors. 

You can try the calming collar and see if it helps.  It never really helped Tyrion.  But it may help him some.  It could be anxiety that may cause him to lash out so harshly.  In that case, it would help.  Do you know much about his past before he came to live with you? 

P3 and The King said:

So he is EXACTLY like Tyrion then.... That is what I meant by a time out.  If you have a room you can put him in where he can decompress all of his energy when he is what I call "Dark side" that is very helpful for Tyrion.  Even today, I have to give him time outs or he lashes out at me, the other cats, whomever he can.  It is just because he overstimulated.  He needs time to himself to decompress.  Don't think of it as a punishment but cats really need time to themselves once in awhile.  Put him in the room and don't yell at him or be negative with him.  Just put him in a room, by himself... And you'll learn as time goes on how long it needs to be: 15 minutes, half an hour, an hour, whatever.  Tyrion has learned when he is ready to come back out and be nice, he just asks by meowing.  I let him out and he is an angel. 

I would also recommend putting him in another room when you have visitors, too.  They seem to stress him out.  Perfectly normal.  Some cats just aren't company types of cats.  I have to put Tyrion in time out too when I have guests.  He doesn't like visitors. 

You can try the calming collar and see if it helps.  It never really helped Tyrion.  But it may help him some.  It could be anxiety that may cause him to lash out so harshly.  In that case, it would help.  Do you know much about his past before he came to live with you? 

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No, not really. I mean, I picked him up from the house he was living in. I was living in Wyoming at the time, and the lady who had the kittens just lived in some rural trailer. It was very cluttered and not very clean, and she had a couple of not very stranger friendly dogs who liked to bark, and like four kittens and the mama cat. She said she thought the dad was a neighbor's cat because the kittens looked like him. The cats were kept in her bedroom, they were hiding under the bed when we came in but they came out after the lady set down some dry food for them. Gandalf was the most socialable and friendly, and he wouldn't let us put him down so we took him home. He was pretty shy when we first got him home. He found a spot where the upholstery on the bottom of the couch had a tear in it, so he would crawl up and sit on it like a little hammock. He spent a lot of time there for the first few weeks, and it took me a while to find his hiding spot which scared me nearly to death. He always slept with me and my then boyfriend, though. We started him on raw immediately (it took no effort whatsoever), and he already knew to use the litter box when we brought him home. My now ex and his friends played with him with their hands a LOT, even though I begged them to stop. He also grew up with a 2 year old, pretty big but super sweet and well-behaved dog. They became fast friends, though. He hasn't had a playmate except for me, though, since then. ): My roommate's cat never plays and doesn't like him.

delitebrite said:

No, not really. I mean, I picked him up from the house he was living in. I was living in Wyoming at the time, and the lady who had the kittens just lived in some rural trailer. It was very cluttered and not very clean, and she had a couple of not very stranger friendly dogs who liked to bark, and like four kittens and the mama cat. She said she thought the dad was a neighbor's cat because the kittens looked like him. The cats were kept in her bedroom, they were hiding under the bed when we came in but they came out after the lady set down some dry food for them. Gandalf was the most socialable and friendly, and he wouldn't let us put him down so we took him home. He was pretty shy when we first got him home. He found a spot where the upholstery on the bottom of the couch had a tear in it, so he would crawl up and sit on it like a little hammock. He spent a lot of time there for the first few weeks, and it took me a while to find his hiding spot which scared me nearly to death. He always slept with me and my then boyfriend, though. We started him on raw immediately (it took no effort whatsoever), and he already knew to use the litter box when we brought him home. My now ex and his friends played with him with their hands a LOT, even though I begged them to stop. He also grew up with a 2 year old, pretty big but super sweet and well-behaved dog. They became fast friends, though. He hasn't had a playmate except for me, though, since then. ): My roommate's cat never plays and doesn't like him.

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I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but your boyfriend and his friends need to stop playing with him so rough.  And with their hands.  It's normal for guys to do this... Again, he gets overstimulated and he needs a break.  His overstimulation comes out as aggression and I would suggest you tell your boyfriend (or let him read this) that he needs to chill it out a bit.  He may not realize he's being rough but I am betting that is the problem.  He is too rough and he takes it too far and now the kitten has learned that this stops it.  Jackson Galaxy of My Cat From Hell has many excellent videos on appropriate play and how to deal with overstimulation and properly play with your cat if you care to check it out. 

P3 and The King said:

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but your boyfriend and his friends need to stop playing with him so rough.  And with their hands.  It's normal for guys to do this... Again, he gets overstimulated and he needs a break.  His overstimulation comes out as aggression and I would suggest you tell your boyfriend (or let him read this) that he needs to chill it out a bit.  He may not realize he's being rough but I am betting that is the problem.  He is too rough and he takes it too far and now the kitten has learned that this stops it.  Jackson Galaxy of My Cat From Hell has many excellent videos on appropriate play and how to deal with overstimulation and properly play with your cat if you care to check it out. 

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Sorry if my post was not clear. I am no longer with said boyfriend. I haven't been for over a year. But when Gandalf was little, he and his friends played with him like that against my very vocal wishes otherwise. Nobody does that now. We (my current bofriend, my roommate's daughter, and me) all use toys to play with him now. I will look into those videos. I was going to watch some My Cat From Hell tonight but when I looked for it I couldn't find it, so I guess they took it off of Netflix?

delitebrite said:

Sorry if my post was not clear. I am no longer with said boyfriend. I haven't been for over a year. But when Gandalf was little, he and his friends played with him like that against my very vocal wishes otherwise. Nobody does that now. We (my current bofriend, my roommate's daughter, and me) all use toys to play with him now. I will look into those videos. I was going to watch some My Cat From Hell tonight but when I looked for it I couldn't find it, so I guess they took it off of Netflix?

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Regardless, I was stating it's how he learned to deal with overstimulation unfortunately.  Just try to give him his time outs if you can when he gets overstimulated.  And Jackson Galaxy also has videos on YouTube. Here are a couple.

How to properly play with your cat

 

Understanding cat behavior

I adopted my first cat when he was a year old, at first he seemed all sweet and cuddly but a week later, he started jumping up and biting me when I turned my back to him or if I was walking around the house. I did a lot of research online and realized he just wanted to play. Cats play attack other cats and they never really grow out of it. Since the other cat isn't too interested in your cat, your cat is trying to play with you. My cat was stalking and pouncing, play biting and running away. It made me paranoid and I kept turning around  to make sure he wasn't following me or stalking me and preparing to attack. I ended up puting a collar on him with a bell so I could hear him approach. It took a lot of patience from me to go through with it.

When he attacked, I shouted "Ouch!" or I hissed at him to let him know I wasn't happy with what he had done, he'd run away and hoped that I'd come chasing because that's what cats do with other cats. When he realized I wasn't going to chase him, he would sometimes come back and seek attention. Sometimes when he attacked, I'd throw a ball to divert his attention and he'd run after that and entertain himself. I bought a lot of toys for him, things he could play with on his own and toys that I could use to wear him out with like feather toys, I also started playing with him a lot more than I used to. I used to think 15 minute sessions a day were enough but since he was still considered a young cat, it was recommended to have a few play sessions throughout the day.  I set up a space for him near a window so he can look out and bird watch too. It took a month or so for his behavior to calm down. I know it is frustrating and tiring but it is possible to teach him that it is not okay to play attack you or any one else.

Here are some links that could help you out.

http://www.lifewithcats.tv/2014/05/...rist-my-cat-suddenly-attacks-me-what-do-i-do/

http://cats.about.com/od/amyshojai/a/seven-ways-to-stop-play-aggression.htm

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2014/06/24/cat-mojo-how-to-stop-your-cat-from-attacking-your-ankles/

snowkat said:

I adopted my first cat when he was a year old, at first he seemed all sweet and cuddly but a week later, he started jumping up and biting me when I turned my back to him or if I was walking around the house. I did a lot of research online and realized he just wanted to play. Cats play attack other cats and they never really grow out of it. Since the other cat isn't too interested in your cat, your cat is trying to play with you. My cat was stalking and pouncing, play biting and running away. It made me paranoid and I kept turning around  to make sure he wasn't following me or stalking me and preparing to attack. I ended up puting a collar on him with a bell so I could hear him approach. It took a lot of patience from me to go through with it.

When he attacked, I shouted "Ouch!" or I hissed at him to let him know I wasn't happy with what he had done, he'd run away and hoped that I'd come chasing because that's what cats do with other cats. When he realized I wasn't going to chase him, he would sometimes come back and seek attention. Sometimes when he attacked, I'd throw a ball to divert his attention and he'd run after that and entertain himself. I bought a lot of toys for him, things he could play with on his own and toys that I could use to wear him out with like feather toys, I also started playing with him a lot more than I used to. I used to think 15 minute sessions a day were enough but since he was still considered a young cat, it was recommended to have a few play sessions throughout the day.  I set up a space for him near a window so he can look out and bird watch too. It took a month or so for his behavior to calm down. I know it is frustrating and tiring but it is possible to teach him that it is not okay to play attack you or any one else.

Here are some links that could help you out.

http://www.lifewithcats.tv/2014/05/...rist-my-cat-suddenly-attacks-me-what-do-i-do/

http://cats.about.com/od/amyshojai/a/seven-ways-to-stop-play-aggression.htm

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2014/06/24/cat-mojo-how-to-stop-your-cat-from-attacking-your-ankles/

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Thanks! He has a collar with a bell so I know where he is. I also have one wall in my room that is closet doors, and they are mirrored on the outside, so when we're in my room I usually see him pouncing. I do play with him a lot and he has lots of toys. He has lots of windows to sit on and we have a patio. I have tried both the ouch and hissing thing and they never had an effect, but I will check out the links you posted. I just watched like all of Jackson Galaxy's videos on YouTube last night so hopefully all this info will help improve his behavior. I just got a full-time job at a pet store, so I plan on getting him a cat tree soon and some new toys and stuff because I have almost no furniture and he's not allowed on the tables/counters so I'm sure he gets bored and frustrated not being able to oversee his kingdom.

I appreciate all the advice. I'm just not sure that it will be effective. Minutes ago, I was standing in front of the mirror braiding my hair. Gandalf had been laying on the bed for quite a while. Suddenly, he comes up to me and pounces onto my arm and latches on. He gave me two long bloody teeth marks and a puncture on the other side. I threw him off and I tried to play with him with a toy that was on the floor nearby...no go. He ignored the toy, and his super dilated eyes and twiching tail told me he was about to try to get a bite of me again...which he then proceeded to do, so I put him in his carrier for a time out. Just a little while ago (literally maybe an hour ago, an hour and a half at most), we played for about 20 or 30 minutes with a toy until he began to lose interest in it, at which point I gave him three treats, one each time he caught the toy (as suggested by Jackson Galaxy). He seemed verg disinterested in playing after that, and he was starting to relax and settle down for the night. He wasn't completely there (still twitching) but he laid down and laid his head down which meant he was about 80% there. I barely touched him at this point (I stroked his furry little nose a few times which makes him sleepy, and he closed his eyes and made no signals to indicate the attention was unwelcome), and then I started to get ready for bed myself, including braiding my hair at which point he attacked me. It doesn't seem like play aggression. /:

You have to be consistent.  And it takes time.  It won't happen over night.  He's not a dog.  The crate isn't what was meant.  Put him in a room for a time out.  Cats do not respond favorably to punishment.  They do not like to feel confined. 

P3 and The King said:

You have to be consistent.  And it takes time.  It won't happen over night.  He's not a dog.  The crate isn't what was meant.  Put him in a room for a time out.  Cats do not respond favorably to punishment.  They do not like to feel confined. 

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I'm not expecting anything to happen overnight. It just makes no sense to me that it would be play aggression if we JUST played and I wasn't even around him? By the way, you can think whatever you want about the crate but it's not "punishment". Gandalf loves his crate, it makes him feel safe and cozy. Every cat is different. Yours may not like being crated, but mine certainly does. He has put himself in "time out" before, and he likes to sleep in there quite often as well. His attacks are quite traumatic for both of us, and he usually settles down fairly quickly after being crated. It is a place where he feels comfortable and relaxed, and I can let him cool off while not being afraid of being maimed, but I can still observe him and gauge when he's ready to come out. He doesn't think of it as a punishment at all, and it's not intended to be. It is the only thing we've tried so far that has any effect at all.

Oh ya, and although cats are not dogs, my particular cat grew up interacting with dogs and not cats. I have had many of both over the years. He has basic feline qualities, but personality-wise he is definitely very dog-like. When I try to introduce him to cats he offends them by acting like a dog, not a cat. Of course this means he usually gets along smashingly with dogs....

OK.  Alright.  I don't know your cat.  I was just pointing out its a common mistake made by people to treat cats like dogs and expect dog like reactions.  I don't know why you're getting upset?  If I offended you, it was not my intention.  But you seem to be easily discouraged and not willing to try anything anyone suggests.  My suggestion is to talk to your vet.  Ask about a behavior specialist.  They are expensive but maybe they can help you better and give you more clear solutions. 

I am a little less sure about the time out and using crate or other room at this point than P3, and wonder if you don't just have a high energy young cat who is very easily excited and seeks human play interaction.  Mouse used to be like that, and would rarely play on his own with a toy but would do what he could to get human attention - be that wrapping his jaws round my arm or pouncing at my head and landing fully on belly in my face (though thankfully his momma cat never taught him what claws are for).  Your little guy didn't have long with other cats to learn the does and don'ts of social behaviour in terms of biting and scratching and I'm guessing he will launch at you with any movement he interprets as either a threat or an invitation to play - which may well not be intended by you.  

I think one of the most important things P3 has said, and given you a link to is on learning your cat's signals, the little twitches, body language and facial expressions so you can predict when he is about to lauch.  If you can react and divert / avoid and then offer an acceptable alternative you may be able to show him other ways to get what he wants without hurting you.  I had to do this with Mouse - it took many months but I did get there.  He went through learning he could still bounce and head pounce at me as long as I couldn't see him coming so he started to make his approach from off side or behind and I learned to keep an eye on him where ever he was, and slowly but surely he got the message on what was and was not OK.  I had to be very consistent in the body and verbal language I used with him through this but it was well worth it.

If you can get in fast enough to dodge the attack and find an interactive play solution - be it with a large kong like toy if he wants physical, or a short session of chasing around after you and then move on to you going to bed and throwing toys to chase or run about play for him on your bed then rest you might find he is more satisfied and will learn that a less aggressive approach can still get him what he wants.   It does take time when you have a cat with a high play drive but the rewards are worth it.  

I only use time out for a couple of minutes at a time and as an immediate response to over excitement biting where Mouse is like a bouncing biting creature that has a hyper exited look in his face no matter how still and calm I am and slowly repeat ouch he continues to jump and bite.   He is lifted out of the room, left for a couple of minutes but no more on the other side of a door and then let back in.  If he repeats his behaviour the process is repeated until he calms down.  If lifting causes more aggression then you can leave the room and then come back in in the same way.  What ever means the least stimulation and postive reward for your cat.   

Good luck.

Overstimulation isn't always about getting hyped up in the heat of a moment. For some cats, it's enough for them to get their hopes up for play, or, negatively, to reach a conclusion that you're about to leave/go to bed/watch a movie and they'll be bored for the next few hours. Just as you watch Gandalf to analyze his every muscle twitch, he's watching you the same way. Cats have nothing but time.

Probably the hardest thing I had to learn with my Regent was how to get him really tired. Just because he gets tired of one toy does not mean he's done playing. Just because he takes a break to catch his breath does not mean he is finished. Some cats are so high energy that they need to run/jump as a physical challenge. If Gandalf is still twitching and looking around expectantly, he hasn't burned enough calories yet. It's your job to come up with new games to engage him. That doesn't always mean buying more toys. It simply means coming up with ways to keep him entertained.

Of course he pounces to get your attention. It works. You interact with him for a few seconds and then give him a nice little crate visit. He thinks this is how he's supposed to play with you. Humans initiate play with toys, and they return the favor by initiating a pounce. He thinks biting down is the whole point of a pounce because he didn't wrestle with other cats enough to learn the play bite. In his mind, he's pouncing the right way and earning the right outcome.

The first time you do something with a cat, it often doesn't work because they don't grasp the premise. Why should he pounce a toy when your reaction is far more interesting? Your challenge is to find something that catches his interest, ie a laser, a jingle bell, a catnip ball, etc, and use that as a decoy. Don't wait until you see him charging at you. Get in the habit, when you walk in a room where he will likely be hiding, open the door and call for him. 

Cory Williams, who does the Mean Kitty series, had the exact same problems with his cat, and it was so bad that he wrote a song about living with a mean cat. He resolved (most of) his problem by getting a second cat. If that's not a possibility for you, then you'll have to come up with more ways for Gandalf to release energy.

A quick reply on what to do when your cat does launch at you and gets you by claw or jaw:   if at all possible try and relax in to it, stay calm, still, and quiet.  If you say anything say ouch, or no firmly but not shouting.  Wait for him to release his grip and then move slowly and at a steady pace:  any jerky and or fast movements will be more likely to be interpreted as play or agression by him.  Here is a short TCS article on some of the reasons aggression happens and how to respond:

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/playtime-aggression

You mentioned he's not allowed on furniture which means the space he has to play in is pretty limited. Maybe you could try getting him one of those window ledges to perch on first or a basic cat tree, or even some boxes. It'll give him plenty of hiding and climbing space. He might be able to exert some of his energy that way. There are videos in youtube where some people taped a bunch of cardboard boxes together and cut some entrances and passageways to make a maze for the cats.

This is one of my favourites. http://laughingsquid.com/rufus-tower-an-amazing-cat-castle-made-out-of-cardboard-boxes/

I hope things get better for you and Gandalf soon. It'll take time but please don't give up on him!

snowkat said:

You mentioned he's not allowed on furniture which means the space he has to play in is pretty limited. Maybe you could try getting him one of those window ledges to perch on first or a basic cat tree, or even some boxes. It'll give him plenty of hiding and climbing space. He might be able to exert some of his energy that way. There are videos in youtube where some people taped a bunch of cardboard boxes together and cut some entrances and passageways to make a maze for the cats.

This is one of my favourites. http://laughingsquid.com/rufus-tower-an-amazing-cat-castle-made-out-of-cardboard-boxes/

I hope things get better for you and Gandalf soon. It'll take time but please don't give up on him!

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I don't plan on giving up on him at all. I ADORE him, it's just that in our new living situation I'm worried about my roommate and her young daughter. If Gandalf is misinterpreted as being aggressive, then my roommate might want him to go. Its really hard to find housing in my city so I'd be on big trouble if he or both of us needed to go because od his behavior.

Thank you for the tips. I am going to get him a cat tree soon when I have some money for it. All the windows have ledges on them. He is allowed on the furniture, just not the counters or table where food is prepared/eaten. But he can, and does, sit on the stools and the bench table in the living room, as well as my bookcase and of course my bed. We just moved, so he has like ten empty boxes of varying sizes and a bunch of paper bags to play in - his favorite toys. One of my coworkers makes her cats forts out of boxes, and I asked her to make Gandalf one, too. Money is tight right now since it's the holidays, but he'll be getting lots of new things to play with when they are over (including a new laser pointer because we lost the old one!).

MServant said:

A quick reply on what to do when your cat does launch at you and gets you by claw or jaw:   if at all possible try and relax in to it, stay calm, still, and quiet.  If you say anything say ouch, or no firmly but not shouting.  Wait for him to release his grip and then move slowly and at a steady pace:  any jerky and or fast movements will be more likely to be interpreted as play or agression by him.  Here is a short TCS article on some of the reasons aggression happens and how to respond:
http://www.thecatsite.com/a/playtime-aggression

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Thank you. I know this is the best way, it's just really hard for me not to yelp because he bites SO hard - it really hurts! And I've got a decent pain tolerance. But he leaves HUGE bruises that don't heal for weeks. I feed him raw so his jaws are well exercised, lol!