Should we intervene? (Sorry this is so long!)

I posted a few months ago about a stray mama cat with severe maternal aggression toward our other cats. It was pretty ugly and nothing I had ever experienced.

 I tried some of the advice from the forum (thank-you all), keeping them separated, feeding near each other, Feliway, etc. but eventually, we just allowed everyone to be out in the house all the time.

After the kittens were adopted and Mama Catss was spayed, she settled down quite a bit. My big boy Drama still steps mighty lightly around her, but now she sniffs at his tail, chirps at him and they both sleep on our bed (as far apart as possible.) Fights are pretty rare, as long as he defers to her majesty.

The problem is, there has been really no improvement with her and our other cat, our insanely shy girl, Mostly Feral. The aggression is now almost as bad on Mostly's part as it was on Mama's, out of fear, I'm assuming (and both being girls?)

For the past month since we started allowing Mama out, Mostly has been holed up in the basement and rarely comes out. We go down and love on her but we feel guilty the new cat has basically usurped her place. Mama goes downstairs sometimes and if she does, they usually fight. But it is certainly more peaceful now, at Mostly's expense poor girl.

Should we leave well enough alone for now?  Or try to get Mostly to spend time upstairs?

P.S. Mama was spayed 11-25-14. So it hasn't been that long. It seems like it though.

P.S.S. I've never gotten a cat on purpose, how three happened is beyond me. They keep showing up. (:

Photos: Top to bottom, Drama, Mama Catss and Mostly Feral.

That seems to happen.  They know.  It's like there's  cat grapevine or secret society that tells other cats in need where to go.  I am too familiar with it.  As far as Mama cat, she is the dominant, the alpha.  This much is clear.  Mostly feral is always going to be in fear of her.  So I would just leave it alone.  As long as Mostly Feral has her own space she feels safe, she is happy for the most part.  It depends on how feral she is but they have a different social dynamic than strays or domestic cats.  You can try to make them socialize and be friends but you may be asking for more trouble.  As long as they can co exist for the most part and have their own spaces, I would call it a win.  Try to keep Mama from going downstairs into her space if you can.  But trying to get Mostly to go upstairs is probably going to be an uphill battle that you may never really win.  As long as Mama's scent is around, she will always be reluctant or completely against the idea.

Thanks P3, I appreciate the advice. We were leaning toward just letting her be. It is our own guilt that was making us want to force her to be "happy." Mostly's mom was a domesticated stray that kept having feral litters on a friend's property. Her littermates had all been killed by a dog, so I took her home (maybe seven weeks). She was never truly feral (hissing, spitting, biting) just painfully shy. That picture of her on my lap is the only one I have and that happens about once a year! It took her about six months to tolerate Drama, but they are good buddies now. (They never fought, because he is laid back and peaceful and she just hid.)

It is just sad to see her regress and Mama take her spot on the bed! We would rehome Mama, though we love her too, but you know how hard it is to rehome an adult cat to a good home!

I would try to keep Mama from downstairs, but most of the litter boxes are down there and we don't have room for more upstairs. Plus Drama goes down to lay with Mostly sometimes. Mostly does have a good hiding spot in an old hutch down there that Mama seems to respect.

You could try calming collars on them, or calming treats.  I haven't had much luck with the treats--my cats don't really like the taste, but I've had some luck with the collars taking the 'edge' off of their irritability.

I have used both Composure treats and liquid.  I brought a territorial aggressive neutered male feral/stray into my home last year.  It was a nightmare doing introductions with my resident cat and large dog.  My poor resident cat ( who is a tough boy) was petrified.  I started with Composure treats, but after a few days they didn't like the taste.  I switched to the liquid and gave it 2x a day mixed into their wet food.  It helped to take the edge off.  The scared cat felt better and the aggressive cat was able to keep his aggression in check.  I gave it for over 5 months to the more aggressive cat.

Thanks, I will  look into it and give it a try.

Last night I fed them their treats at the same time. Mostly (scared cat) was eating on the top step and Mama in view of her just outside the stair doorway. They were only about four feet apart.

They both ate, stared, ate, stared, ate, stared. So that's something! Then after eating Mama just walked away.

I don't what is about orange females but mannnnnn they can be bossy. My orange girl is the queen of the house, even though she's blind. (Well the dilute tortie is the queen, but nobody messes with her and she lives outside 99% of the time). My last mama foster was the same way as yours.

If you would be willing to re-home your Mama reach out to local foster organizations and explain the situation somebody should be willing to work with you to find her a new home, but it does take time.

If you do want to keep her it does take time. I've been told it takes 60 days for hormones to completely leave a kitty after being fixed as an adult so she may calm down a little more. Also when ever someone adopts an adult from me I always mention it an take 3-6 months for everyone to start getting along.

Feliway is a great product for something like this and can help, I've seen it work miracles. 

It sounds like you're doing everything right and it may just take time for them to re-work the home situation.

But there is a reason why I no longer allow mama kitties to be fostered in my home, only kittens or adult males........

Thank-you! ReiKitty,

We probably should give it more time. Looking back, I should be thankful how much it has improved. When the kitties were in the house Mama heard a cat meow on TV one night and with no warning attacked Drama who I was holding while he slept at the time! I have the scar to prove it!

So in the big picture, she's come a long way. We just miss and feel sorry for our Mostly "Moosh."

I'll plug the Feliway in the basement tonight, get another one for our room and try the Composure liquid!

If you try the Composure liquid (Amazon has the best prices) you can double the dosage to start.  I used to give 1/2 t per cat mixed in their wet food during the morning.  Then either 1/4 or 1/2t in their evening meal.  I found they didn't need as much at night since my aggressive cat was in his own room at night.  You can double the dosage for a few weeks.

We had a similar issue in our house. When we moved a few years ago I took my outside kitties with me in the hopes of making them inside kitties. (They were barn kitties, very friendly to us, but never in a house before). One of them is very shy and after a month or two did very well, she became extremely affectionate and an great house kitty, her name is Shadow

Sadly a couple months after that my orange kitty (Alfie) hit around a year old and decided she no longer was the low ranking kitty and fought her way to number one. When the dust finally settle Shadow was the bottom kitty and Alfie was on top.   Shadow sadly never fights back and instead runs (She's used to speaking outside kitty vs inside kitty language.) and was getting terrorized by Alfie, who is blind, then learned that scratching in the litterbox meant that there was a kitty in the box and a perfect target for attacking... So poor Shadow was terrified to use the litterbox. We finally let Shadow go back outside and now she never comes in the house. She's still sweet, but sometimes I really miss my Shadow snuggles. But she's happier and no longer terrified all the time, the fights in the house have pretty much stopped and I no longer have pee on my counter tops, couches and beds.

So I totally understand feeling bad for Mostly Feral. I really hope it works out for you and her though!

Your cats are lovely but drama is beautiful

Thanks for the great advice, the empathy and for the compliment to Drama.

He IS a pretty boy. Everyone thinks he is the girl! He's also gotten quite huge. My friend swears he is a Main Coon, but I read up a bit and I guess everyone with a big, regal looking DLH thinks that (:

I really enjoy this site. This is the first time cats have been the "main" pets in our house. That looks bad written down, I know(: What I mean is, there was always a dog in my lap who wasn't big on sharing.

Our 14 and 18-year-old dogs both died in late 2013. We had a dog door while they were alive, so the cats we have had have always done a lot of wandering. Mostly Feral would sometimes be gone for days.

Now that they are all inside all the time, they have bonded with us more and the house has gotten very catty! And they are very interesting little critters.