There's lots of news out there, but surprisingly little of it is geared toward those whose hammock doesn't quite reach both trees. Well, The Duh News is for those people. What follow are profoundly obvious headlines about our profoundly confounding times.
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>Osama Bin Laden Frontrunner to Win Hide-and-Seek Championship
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>Women Confess Size Does Matter
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>Conspiracy Theorists Suspicious About This Headline
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>Israelis and Palestinians May Harbor Resentment
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>Hilton Sisters Found to Not Know Value of Dollar
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>Rock-Scissors-Paper Champ Claims Game Repetitious
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>Tic-Tac-Toe Enthusiast Envies Excitement of Rock-Scissors-Paper
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>Greeting Card Companies Lobby for More Holidays
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>Kazaa May Not Respect Rights of Copyright Holders
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>Smoking Responsible for Health Problems
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>Despite Promises, Rock Stars and Professional Athletes
Don't Always Call After Sexual Encounters
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>Popular Soft Drinks Mostly Water
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>Income Tax: Not Everyone Honest in Filing
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>Michael Jackson Plastic Surgery Suspected
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>Porn Films May Not Be Scripted Before Filming
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>HMOs May Not Pay All Claims
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>PETA Determined to Be Against Everything
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> duh6.gif (3497 bytes)
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>Politicians May Knowingly Make Promises During
Campaigns They Don't Intend to Keep
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>Microsoft Bullies Competitors
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>Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Relationship Unlikely to Last
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>School Shootings an Impediment to Learning
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>Exposed: Skydiving Might Be Dangerous
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>Experts Report Strippers Just In It for the Money
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>Bullfighting May Not Be Fair Fight
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>Oprah Rumored to Be Controlling
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>"Playboy" Popularity Unrelated to Articles
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>Auto Mechanics Found to Overcharge for Some Services
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>Duplicity Not a Detriment to "Survivor" Contestants
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>Those in the Know Insist Pro Wrestling Often Staged
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>O.J. Simpson Jury Miscalculated
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>Inflatable Dartboards Fail to Catch On
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>Web Surfers Could Be Using Internet to Access Pornography
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>Britney Spears' Popularity May Not Be Related to Vocal Talents
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>Report Shows Airlines Sometimes Intentionally Overbook Flights
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> _____
>
>Osama Bin Laden Frontrunner to Win Hide-and-Seek Championship
>
>Women Confess Size Does Matter
>
>Conspiracy Theorists Suspicious About This Headline
>
>Israelis and Palestinians May Harbor Resentment
>
>Hilton Sisters Found to Not Know Value of Dollar
>
>Rock-Scissors-Paper Champ Claims Game Repetitious
>
>Tic-Tac-Toe Enthusiast Envies Excitement of Rock-Scissors-Paper
>
>Greeting Card Companies Lobby for More Holidays
>
>Kazaa May Not Respect Rights of Copyright Holders
>
>Smoking Responsible for Health Problems
>
>Despite Promises, Rock Stars and Professional Athletes
Don't Always Call After Sexual Encounters
>
>Popular Soft Drinks Mostly Water
>
>Income Tax: Not Everyone Honest in Filing
>
>Michael Jackson Plastic Surgery Suspected
>
>Porn Films May Not Be Scripted Before Filming
>
>HMOs May Not Pay All Claims
>
>PETA Determined to Be Against Everything
>
> duh6.gif (3497 bytes)
>
>Politicians May Knowingly Make Promises During
Campaigns They Don't Intend to Keep
>
>Microsoft Bullies Competitors
>
>Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Relationship Unlikely to Last
>
>School Shootings an Impediment to Learning
>
>Exposed: Skydiving Might Be Dangerous
>
>Experts Report Strippers Just In It for the Money
>
>Bullfighting May Not Be Fair Fight
>
>Oprah Rumored to Be Controlling
>
>"Playboy" Popularity Unrelated to Articles
>
>Auto Mechanics Found to Overcharge for Some Services
>
>Duplicity Not a Detriment to "Survivor" Contestants
>
>Those in the Know Insist Pro Wrestling Often Staged
>
>O.J. Simpson Jury Miscalculated
>
>Inflatable Dartboards Fail to Catch On
>
>Web Surfers Could Be Using Internet to Access Pornography
>
>Britney Spears' Popularity May Not Be Related to Vocal Talents
>
>Report Shows Airlines Sometimes Intentionally Overbook Flights
