17 Year Old "Fernimal" is Sick

In the last week or so, my Fernimal (because he, obviously, is an a"nimal" and he loves to chew on "fern"s.  So, "Fernimal.") suddenly lost weight, became weak (he can't really walk or jump anymore) and only stumples, and is immobilized.  He's no longer sociable and most disturbing to me, doesn't respond anymore to cues for treats or food.  He seems to still have an appetite but as soon as he tries to eat something, he begins to violently shake his head and repeatedly opens and closes his mouth as if, as all cats do, he has something stuck in his teeth.  After a few bites, he just quits. 

I took him to the vet today and the doctor ran multiple test and took an x-ray.  I'll get the blood results tomorrow.  But, the x-ray showed he has an enlarged heart, unclear lungs (radiologist will give an more expert opinion tomorrow), bad hips and narrowed intestines.  The doctor didn't seem to think anything was so terribly wrong with his teeth that it would cause him to be the way he is right now.  

Needless to say, I am very sad and pessimistic.  He's 17 years old and it appears he has all kinds of problems.  I am anticipating having to put him to sleep soon.  I don't want him to have any pain and no quality of life.  He lives for eating and getting treats and now he doesn't respond to anything cues I give him.  He's immobilized. 

I'm ashamed to say that part of the decision whether to put him to sleep is financial.  Here's what I mean.  I'm willing to spend a reasonable amount of money if there is hope for him to return to a relatively (given his age) decent quality of life.  But, if the costs are to just "keep him alive".  Then, to me, it's not worth it.  I know, this is selfish.  But I have to be realistic too. 

So, what I like to know is how you would balance this financial v. quality of life issue.  I'm thick skinned, so feel free to criticize my attitude.  I welcome it because deep down inside I want to hear how terribly selfish I'm being. 

I'm new here and I would really appreciate any feedback. 

If it costs money just to keep him alive versus improving his quality of life, then I think it is reasonable to consider the finances into the equation. Money can't buy quality, only, quantity.
I think the most unselfish action a pet owner can take is to put an end to suffering, even knowing you will be suffering the most after Fernimal is gone.
I would have a frank, honest discussion with your vet about your concerns.
PS: if you do decide to euthanize, consider having it done at home. And if your finances and work situation permit (and, if it emotionally makes sense to you), take off work just to spend that time with Fernimal.
Prayers and vibes for you.

I agree, if all the money in the world doesn't bring quality to life, it would be wasted. It shows what wonderful care you gave to Fernimal to have him live to the ripe old age of 17, and now that it is near the end of his journey, comfort and love would be valued much more then money. I guess I would think of how I would want MY life to end. If I couldn't enjoy what I treasured in life, such as food or mobility, I would want my journey to end.  It will break your heart to do so, but the greatest last gift you can give is to end the suffering and to not have him go through the inevitable pain that is yet to come. I have always prayed that all of our babies could die at home at a ripe old age in their sleep , but like humans it rarely happens. My heart breaks for what you are going through, I'll pray for you both.  May you be blessed for loving another so much. Please kiss Fernimal for me and tell him he is greatly loved, thank you for letting us know this sweet cat. 

Ritz said:

If it costs money just to keep him alive versus improving his quality of life, then I think it is reasonable to consider the finances into the equation. Money can't buy quality, only quantity.
I think the most unselfish action a pet owner can take is to put an end to suffering, even knowing you will be suffering the most after Fernimal is gone.
I would have a frank, honest discussion with your vet about your concerns.

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I'm very sorry you've found yourself faced with having to make such a decision and totally agree with the above. My heart goes out to you.

Thanks everyone for your replies. 

I got the test results from the doctor and euthanasia is best. 

Please don't praise me too much.  There is more to the story; there are things that I should have and should not have done that were totally within my control.  I know what you're thinking.  "He's naturally feeling guilty."  But, for now, I just don't want to think about it. 

Right now, I'm trying to focus on what's best for him at this moment.  If I think about what more I could have done during all the years I had with him, I'll never do what must be done. 

I just called a home-euthanasia service and will have the procedure done tomorrow morning.  It all feels so surreal. 

I'm so sorry. . . .

Hugs to you.

Im sorry your going theu this we all wish we could of done better with our fur babies, but u did what you could for the 17 years he was with you...may he rest in peace pain free and may peace fall on you..hugs to u and fernimal..

Hi everyone.  First of all I so appreciate your kind and warm words. 

I put Bruno "Fernimal" to sleep last Wednesday (12.10.2014) morning at home.  We had a vet come over and she was great with her husband.  Fernimal didn't feel a thing and the whole process took no more than 10 minutes.  Wrapped in a towel, I held and pet him the entire time.  After the initial tranquilizer, he was pretty much unconscious until the end.  Afterwards, the vet asked me if I'd like to spend some time to say a final goodbye.  I didn't because I wanted it to be over with.  They understood and took him to be cremated.  I will get his remains back in about another week. 

I mentioned in my previous post that there were things that I should have and should not have done while we spend our wonderful 10 years of so together (I adopted him when he was about 6-7 years old.)  I smoked in the house and didn't take care of his teeth very well.  In the end, although it seemed he still had somewhat of an appetite, he struggled to eat solid food.  The doctor also said he was developing early emphysema or bronchitic.  

On top of that, he had an enlarged heart and his kidneys were failing.  Blood tests showed likelihood of either liver or pancreatic disease.  And, lastly, about 5 days before he was put to sleep, he was nearly immobilized. 

I discussed my options with my vet last Monday (2 days before the euthanasia).  She said, if we wanted to treat Fernimal, we should operate on his kidneys first.  The problem, however, was that, because of his weak heart, she could not be as aggressive in the surgery as she would like.  Moreover, because he was so weak, there was a chance that he may not even survive the operation. 

I asked they doctor, which is what I think is the most important question, whether, suppose we gave him all the recommended treatments and operations, what are the chances that he would return to a state of health which he maintain his mobility, health and, in general, a normal like of a cat (in consideration with his age, of course.)  The doctor was not very optimistic.  In fact, I believe seeing Bruno in the condition he was in, it would be wishful thinking. 

I haven't mentioned the most important issue.  The issue that how much more trauma and stress it would be for Fernimal to go through any of the treatment.  Just the examination itself was about to kill him (the vet warned that Bruno might no make it through the night because of all the stresses he suffered during our examination.) 

With this in mind, and having must consider the cost of treatment against the likelihood of success, the decision for me was easy.  Easy only insofar that I knew what I had to do.  Certainly not emotionally easy. 

So I brought my little Fernie home Monday and set up a nice, cozy spot for him at his favorite area on the corner of my study desk.  I called the home euthanasia vet Tuesday morning but just couldn't get myself to have them come that day.  But I knew it must be done, so I made an appointment for Wednesday morning. 

Bruno had a decent last two days.  I gave him lots of morphine and he slept most of the time.  I picked him up every 4-6 hours of so to his litter box and he peed nicely.  I then take him to his eating spot in the kitchen and gave him lots of milk, which he loved and was able to ingest given his teeth issues.  I sat next to him watching him drink his mild and was glad at least he wasn't hungry and was getting fluids from the milk.  I'd wait until he finished (he had a good amount) and then pick him pack up and return him to his spot.  This cycle pretty much went on for the 48 hours since we came home from the vet and until the vet came to our home. 

It wasn't easy and I didn't sleep and didn't have an appetite at all.  I couldn't sleep because I was afraid he would fall off the desk.  Every little noise I hear freaked me out.  Finally, I smarten up.  I surrounded him with all my books so there could only be on way he could fall.  And I moved my couch in front of the desk so, if he tried to stumble around and fall, he'd have to fall on me. 

Late Tuesday evening/early Wednesday morning he woke up and begin to stumble as if he wanted to do something.  I waited to see which direction he seems to want to go to give me a clue on whether if he wanted to eat or poddy.  He moved towards me.  And since his only way down was through me, I picked him up and put him on my lap to see which direction he wanted to go.  To my sadness and gladness, he just stayed on my lap and begin to stretch out his body (his front paws way above his head and hind legs streatched way back), the position he gets into when he wants to be loved and hugged. 

It was heartbreaking, but at the same time I was so appreciated.  He was already drugged so much, no really all that sharp or aware, and yet, when he saw me after waking up, he forgot he was in pain and just wanted to be together, if only for this last time.  And it was the last time.  So I held him, put my left arm between his hind legs and rubbed his tummy while petting him from head down to his spine with my right hand. 

So, even with but a few hours left in his life, he gave me more love. 

After that, it was just the same cycles of bringing him to the litter, then food, then medicine, until it was time Wednesday morning. 

I will never forget my dear Fernimal. 

I'm so sorry for your loss of Ferminal.  It's comforting to know that he passed quietly and stress free, not only for him but for you as well

Have fun at the Bridge baby boy 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's a brave and noble act to give that last breath of love to Fernimal. Sounds as though he was a beautiful, loving sweet cat.

I have a sad tale of having made the wrong decision for my cat, not the painful and loving one you made for Fernimal.

Love to you both.

Thanks everyone who replied to my most recent post (and sorry for the spelling errors and grammar in it.) 

I think I'm ok with my overall decision.  But I am feeling very guilty about how I neglected to take him for consistent vet visits.  I also smoked in the house, which was absolutely within my control.  I wonder how much, not if, I contributed to his pain and failing health in the end.  All I can say to myself now is I will not make the same mistakes again.  If I decided find another cat.  Right now, I can't imagine having to go though this ever again. 

Bruno "Fernimal" was very shy and fearful when I adopted him from my neighbor.  Any sound, perceived movement, anything, would send him straight into the closet to hide for hours on end.  Ferminal would scare himself with the breeze of his own tail.  He was depressed and refused to eat. 

After I adopted him.  My style of raising pets were more hands off (in the good way) and let them be who they are.  I didn't try to force Fernimal to come out of the closet.  Instead, I'd just call him from the other side of the room.  If he didn't come, I'd just leave him alone and try later.  After a while (over weeks), he began to come out by himself and investigate the house.  I was excited to see him but still thought best to just let him be and resist my desire to want to pet and play with him. 

Over months, I could tell he was beginning to feel at home.  He no longer slept in the closet and found himself a couple of places he liked and hung out there.  He went into the kitchen to eat without fear and he walked around the house much more comfortably.  I was able to pet him and even pick him up for a few seconds before he started to twist and struggle to try to get away.  Still, whenever anyone came over to visit, it's straight to the closet for him. 

As the years progressed, Fernimal became very confident and happy.  He now moved around the house any way he pleased.  He'd still be cautious when strangers came to the house.  But, instead of running to the closet like before,  He stay where he stood and would eventually come to us and walk on our laps to investigate who the people were. 

Most importantly, Fernimal had grown into a loving cuddly kittie.  He follow me around the house.  Whether or not he was sleeping, if he heard me at my desk, he come from where ever he was and beg (yes, beg like a dog standing on his hind legs) to sit on my lap.  Funniest thing is he insisted on being on my lap when I'm sitting on the toilet. 

He was a little beggar when it came to food and pretty much got whatever he wanted.  I used say to him "you're lucky you're cute." and then give in and give him a nice piece of roasted chicken.

I was sitting next to him the night before he left us and was think about his life with me.  I said to him:  "It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't that bad either, huh?"  I hope he agrees.

I know I could have done a few more things and avoided the smoking.  But I think he was happy.  He was encouraged and allowed to become who he was, which was an animal free to do as his nature dictated  He received love and attention whenever he wanted (even when he didn't want it  ), and he gave much of the same in return.  

It's so surreal without him in the house.  I still expect him to be at certain places.  It will take quite a while for my sadness to life. 

Fernimal was an unique and one in a million individual. 

So sorry for your loss of Fernimal. I know how painful it can be when we lose a beloved pet. My precious Mickey passed back in July and I am still grieving his loss. I miss him every day as I am sure you miss your Fernimal. I also realize that we always feel that we could have done things differently. It is obvious by your posts that you loved Fernimal very much and he loved you in return. His love for you was obvious when he wanted nothing more than to be in your lap on his last days. Just remember that!! He loved you and felt safe with you. My heart goes out to you at this heartbreaking time. Believe me, I understand your pain. Please Take Care. Once again, I am truly sorry!

I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers go out to you during this difficult time.