My cat is dying

I don't even think I have a question, I just need to get some of the pain off my chest.

We got her when about 6 years ago, when she was (we were told) 2 months old. She was a rescue, we got her from someone who had over 40 cats and kept them in terrible conditions. When we took her to the vet he said she is probably older but has been malnurished (she was so thin, full of fleas, her white coat was yellow at the time probably because she had been sleeping in wee)

Slowly we got her back into shape and for a couple of years she looked happy and healthy (albeit she had some terrible episodes, she once lost all the hair on her head due to ring worm and was very close to getting her leg amputated but we saved her with vit B shots and electrostimulation)

Then slowly she started to develop gingivitis. At the time we were living in Romania and the vet had very limited resources - however we tried steroids and interferon for her teeth with some results. I then moved to the UK and my boyfriend, now husband stayed with her behind. She started to develop chronic diarrhoea - she had these bouts of bloody poo from time to time but most of the time they were self limiting. Another year goes by and we bring her to the UK. She was generally ok until had another episode of vomiting/diarrhoea. The vet felt she has IBS and we started her on a hypoallergenic diet. That seemed to work, albeit she hates the hypoallergenic food and ate less but at least her stools were normal.

About 4 months ago she was doing really well, I was feeding her hypoallergenic food and raw or grilled meat. I was pregnant at the time and she begun weeing in different places. I think this is where I started to fail her. Instead of thinking it was her gingivitis acting up I thought it must be because of my pregnancy (as did our cat minder) as she was still eating fine. I had the baby and in the midst of everything she became flea infested (we were using Bob Martin, yet another mistake) and had to wash her, which she has always found traumatizing. Additionally I didn't allow her to sleep in our room, which she's always done, partly because of the fleas and partly because she tried to sleep on top of the baby (she has always slept on top of us, on our chest). She has always been a sensitive cat and I think she did not take this rejection well. She started to eat less and less. Three weeks ago we had my mom and my husband's mom come over from overseas and I think this stressed her even more. At this point she was losing weight and we had to try really hard to make her eat. I took her to the vet 10 days ago and the vet told us we can either try to remove her teeth (which I've been postponing, like an idiot, as we couldn't get her insured in the UK) or put her down as her gingivitis was really bad. She told us even removing the teeth might not fix the problem, as she still has IBS (or perhaps something else, we could not afford the 600 pounds investigations) and will never thrive. At the time she gave her pain relief to see if she will start eating (she didn't want to give her steroids as she felt she will start eating because of the steroids and we will not know if only the teeth are to blame). Some of you have been faced with this option and maybe you were better at choosing than I am. The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning but to this day I don't know if it's the right option. Our cat is even worse, she is now refusing all food (last week she had a few prawns) and has lost almost 30% of her body weight (she was 3 kg, now 2.1). She still drinks water but looks very unwell. She is hiding in the laundry room (but will sleep with us for a few hours if I bring her upstairs) most of the time. I have this overwhelming feeling I have failed her and maybe I am still failing her by choosing surgery and making her go through more pain than just putting her to sleep. I also feel I forgot about her a little when the baby came and that's when it all went downhill. I feel I should have had her surgery a year ago but couldn't afford it at the time (but what was I expecting, for the gingivitis to magically get better?!) I'm such an idiot.

Anyways. We took her to the vet again yesterday and asked for a steroid shot to get her to at least eat something before her surgery. The vet thought she might not survive the surgery but also felt we should try as she is a fairly young cat.

The steroids have not kicked in yet (or perhaps she is already over the edge) and she is still not eating anything and looking very confused and wobbly. I will take her to have her teeth extracted and hope whatever happens she will not be in a lot of pain.

I guess that's it. Thanks for reading.

Do not beat your self up, you have had a huge number of things going on in your life and no one can turn the clock back.  Your energy is now focussed on your little cat and the more calm and positive you can feel for her the better it will be for all of you - and especially her.  Talk to your vet about trying to get some food and liquid in to her today, and stay with her as much as you can.  If the vet thinks their giving fluids or anything then take their advice.  You know your cat best but I do believe that if her liver is healthy and the vet feels she is strong enough for the surgery you could see a really dramatic change in her once her mouth is not painful any more.

My boy was just a kitten when he was critically ill with tonsilitis and numerous ulcers in his mouth that I had failed to notice until he stopped eating.  Luckily so far, at nearly 4 he still has his teeth but many cats known here on TCS are doing very well without any.

Will be thinking of you both today and tomorrow.  Stay strong.  

I am so sorry you have been through all this. Sometimes there seems to be nothing one can do but provide comfort. But you are going the last step by giving her a chance with this surgery. I have never heard of gingivitis causing all these symptoms, but I am sure your vet has the situation in hand and feels that this just might work. If you can afford it then it is certainly worth a try.

I have four cats I brought to France from Bosnia and they all have health problems. One is asthmatic and has Herpes, one is delicate from a ruptured hernia at 6 months old, one has stomach and kidney problems and the fourth has damaged lungs from pneumonia as a kitten. These ex-street cats had a very bad start in life and I saved them, but it is always an ongoing fight. You have done very well to keep yours going fror 6 years.

We usually know when our animals have had enough. There is a look in the eyes, a searching for comfort that tells us the time has come. I went through it three weeks ago with my oldest cat, and the vet and I decided that the treatment we were giving her was not working and it would be cruel to continue. She was just too tired to continue trying to live.

All the very best wishes that things go according to plan and you feel strong enough to take whatever decisions are necessary for the well-being of your kitty.

I could hear/feel your pain through your post. I'm really sorry about your little girl (cat). My rescue had stomatitis,he's about 2 now. All his teeth are gone through surgery,done after we took him in.Mine is now sick again from a cold/heavy congestion. I can't do anything for him until late tues or early wed,except keep water boiling to moisten the air. Which is why he's drooling the congestion/hacking it up. As i'm waiting on my ssi. I can understand your feelings of guilt i've got mine too over how i didn't pay enough attention to him when his adopted grandpops left for a nursing home. Him and me are all he knows now and his world turned upside down!. Please don't beat yourself up, and i'll try to take my own advice. I know it hurts but time heals...that's what they say anyways.

Having read through your post it seems to me that you've done a huge amount to help your cat. You brought her with you when you moved to the UK, (I can imagine how much that must have cost) and nursed her through her numerous health problems. A lot of people would have given up already.

I hope everything goes well with her surgery. If your vet thinks it's worth trying there is still hope.

My avatar cat is at least 12 years old and was feral for a long time before he found me. He only has a few teeth left but in spite of the fact that he dribbles a little he actually does really well. Once she feels more comfortable, as I'm sure she will once her mouth is less painful, her appetite may improve.

My heart goes out to you. I do agree though, don't beat yourself up with all the might haves, should haves, it never does anything but bring grief. You would never do ANYTHING on purpose to hurt your girl, sometimes things happen in life that we can't control or see until it is too late.  Steroids do take a couple of days to kick in, just make sure she is drinking water. Have you tried tuna juice or canned baby food (meat)? She might drink that, now is not the time to worry about her diet, she has got to eat. Bless you for loving her so much to want to help, I know she feels your love. I will definitely pray for her to come through her surgery OK, please keep us posted.

I am new to this site and as new to having young Kittins to take care of. So forgive this reply as I am also in the hospital after just having surgery.

Your compassion and dedication to your little one shines brightly in your words. Part of living is the sorrow of that part of life that you see in those eyes you looked into. These are the times that define tough love.

You are doing all that you can. I hope the surgery goes well of course, but, should you have to make that one decision that will be what is best for him or her, the answer is in their eyes.

I hope for a great recovery and all turns out well. I will look for an update as soon as you can post one. Keep strong.

Ed., Shadow and Tiger.

Thank you all for the good thoughts.
Sadly Matzica passed away last night.
She was a very special cat and the most gentle and loving soul i have ever met.
I hope we have been able to offer her at least some moments of happiness and i hope she will forgive our failings.
Rest in peace my friend.

We are the ones who have been blessed by their companionship if only for a short time.

Be strong and remember the good times.

Ed.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

She was a beautiful girl. She looks really happy and relaxed in that photo, I can see that she had a good life with you

I am so sorry to hear this news. But rest assured that you did all you could and that she died knowing love and care. On behalf of the Moderator team, we wish you our condolences. In accordance with TCS policy I will now close this thread as a mark of respect and I hope that when you feel able, you will open a new thread for her in the 'Crossing the Bridge' forum.