I'm not sure what that lesson is just yet, or even if it's only one lesson, but this is surely a time that is testing me and my dh.
We just lost Chris less than 2 weeks ago, we know that my oldest kitty (17 in the spring), Patrick, who was diagnosed with chronic renal failure about 1 1/2 years ago has either lymphoma or severe ibd now as well as changing thyroid values. As of today, we are told it seems to be lymphoma after all, and he has a couple of months perhaps. Larissa, who is 5, has been concerning me as her box habits haven't been the best, and she will at times, hide behind the bathroom door...just nap there and not stir. I have had the feeling she just doesn't feel well.
Today we found out she's spilling bilirubin into her urine, we are waiting labs, but this usually means a problem with the liver, and potentially we are looking at an x/ray or echo and liver biopsy
Tyler is being treated as early diabetic with diet only, Ophelia's ashtma is kicking up, and Joshua (Patrick's 15 y.o. son) is suddenly having his ibd kick up again (he's maintained nicely on Hill's Z/D).
I find the lack of control appalling...I can't fix all this, I won't hurry any of them to the rainbow bridge, and it hurts like hell. So...time to learn to cope with chronic/terminal illness. Might sound odd, but this retired RN deliberately worked at delivering babies, and though with premies and emergencies I saw my share of death, it's less than on other units in a hospital.
I know there are lessons here, re faith, re loving full heartedly no matter how much it will then hurt to lose that which you love, re treasuring every moment with the people and the animals that I love.
I know I will work harder to afford to do the things I need and want to do (I want new cat furniture, I want to build a cat walk around my living room, I want to switch to a more holistic diet for my cats.) and I know that every upcoming moment with Patrick will be as joyous as it is sad, and I am going to treasure them.
I'm sorry this is long, but if you've read the whole thing, thank you.
We just lost Chris less than 2 weeks ago, we know that my oldest kitty (17 in the spring), Patrick, who was diagnosed with chronic renal failure about 1 1/2 years ago has either lymphoma or severe ibd now as well as changing thyroid values. As of today, we are told it seems to be lymphoma after all, and he has a couple of months perhaps. Larissa, who is 5, has been concerning me as her box habits haven't been the best, and she will at times, hide behind the bathroom door...just nap there and not stir. I have had the feeling she just doesn't feel well.
Today we found out she's spilling bilirubin into her urine, we are waiting labs, but this usually means a problem with the liver, and potentially we are looking at an x/ray or echo and liver biopsy
Tyler is being treated as early diabetic with diet only, Ophelia's ashtma is kicking up, and Joshua (Patrick's 15 y.o. son) is suddenly having his ibd kick up again (he's maintained nicely on Hill's Z/D).
I find the lack of control appalling...I can't fix all this, I won't hurry any of them to the rainbow bridge, and it hurts like hell. So...time to learn to cope with chronic/terminal illness. Might sound odd, but this retired RN deliberately worked at delivering babies, and though with premies and emergencies I saw my share of death, it's less than on other units in a hospital.
I know there are lessons here, re faith, re loving full heartedly no matter how much it will then hurt to lose that which you love, re treasuring every moment with the people and the animals that I love.
I know I will work harder to afford to do the things I need and want to do (I want new cat furniture, I want to build a cat walk around my living room, I want to switch to a more holistic diet for my cats.) and I know that every upcoming moment with Patrick will be as joyous as it is sad, and I am going to treasure them.
I'm sorry this is long, but if you've read the whole thing, thank you.
