Housekeeper/Friend issues need advice

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  I wonder if you guys might give me some thoughts on a situation with my housekeeper (who is also my friend!)
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  I don't know if I am just getting annoyed at little stuff or what, but she is always asking for something. Like, we buy these big tubs of laundry soap powder- and before it is even empty she was asking if she could have them when they are empty, it just got to me- even though I was going to end up throwing them away. Then candle jars, etc.
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  And last night- she called begging me to give her 4 Motrin because she "forgot to get it at the store". More and more, her husband and her are just seeming like moochers- and I don't want to think that way, I'm just not sure how to think........ Over the past few months she has asked for something nearly every visit. Gravy mix, because she was "craving biscuits and gravy". The list goes on, and on.
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  Add to that the fact her husband is EXTREMELY annoying. An example of this, is when we go to the grocery store he uses a "steak joke" everytime. The type of person who just, jokes like "What did you get me or bring me" or "I'll take a steak with everything". I know he is joking around but it just irks me to no end, his sense of "HUMOR".
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  It's like she makes a point, every time she comes to tell me "if you decide to get rid of that I want it", or "when you go through your clothes again make sure you pass them on to me if you don't want them", etc. Maybe I am just super irritated, but it seems out of line.....
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  .
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  But what do I do about her asking for like gravy mix because ofa "huge craving" or, medicine
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  I want to be generous, and nice
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  but she gets SSI, she even gets OTC meds for free through Medicaid, plus food stamps and food bank food
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  I don't think I could tell somebody no on food... it just isn't in my nature, or medicine for that matter...

What does everyone think? Does anyone have "that friend" who just gets to you, or is always asking for handouts? We pay her, a good salary that comes to about $8 an hour. She gets paid $50 a week and works 6 hours- so she gets paid more than minimum wage, plus she gets SSI...........

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Just be honest. The next time she asks you for gravy or something, just tell her plainly that funds for you and your family are tight and that you are on a strict budget.

Say something like "I'm sorry, I really would like to help you, but funds are tight for us and we are on a very strict budget."

If she asks you about giving her other things like clothing etc, just tell her that you aren't planning on giving the stuff away because you are looking to make some extra income for your family, and that you will be posting it on Craig's list or eBay, and that you will be happy to give her first pick to buy what you are going to be selling. (Even if you aren't going to be selling the stuff, tell her you are anyway!)

I would also get rid of your friend doing the cleaning and suggest finding a trusting stranger to clean for you, and keep it a strictly employer-employee relationship.  You want someone there to clean, and nothing more.  Having someone who is a "friend" working for you can lead to issues, as you already have discovered!

It seems to me that there are different kinds of friendships depending on everyone's personal expectations.

Personally, I don't mind doing work with or for my friends as long as there is an understanding that there will be reciprocation (either in payment or favors).  Part of that means making your own expectations clear and, on the flip side, letting them know what expectations you might not be able to meet.

For instance, I've commented to my friends in conversations that I really need at least 24 hrs notice before babysitting. 

I've also commented that I am terrible at remembering birthdays, so parties are the only times I bring anyone prezzies.  If you don't have a party, or some other gathering or notification, don't expect anything from me.

I don't necessarily keep track, but if things seem to be getting out of balance, I will step back for a while.