Aggressive cat behavior towards 9 month old baby.

Hello.

This is probably nothing new to these forums, but we need help, or our cat is going to have to go!  

We have a cat, possible 9 or 10, who has some decreased mobility due to arthritis.  He is being very passive aggressive towards our 9 month old.  We've been trying with limited success to teach our 9 month old how to be "nice" to the cats.  We have 2 cats, and our other cat just gets out of the way when our daughter is doing something unkind, and that cat leaves the room or goes up to the top of the couch, out of the reach of our baby.

Our other cat, however, will simply move 2 - 3 feet, and lay back down.  He is a little slower due to arthritis, but he can certainly get out of the way of our crawling baby if he really wanted to.  Also some times he's quite sweet to her, nuzzling her head, and letting her climb over him with little protest.  However twice he's scratched our daughter on the face, and that is just intolerable for us.  The first time I expressed my displeasure with a lot of yelling "bad cat", and gentle swiping that would emulate another cat swiping at him (not nearly enough to hurt him in any way).  The 2nd time we heard our baby crying, but no evidence of what happened, and we didn't see it happen.  Only later did we see the scratches on her face.

So I think the reason why Bugs doesn't go into another room is that he both wants to be in our company, and does sort of want the company of our daughter, but not the fur grabbing and tail pulling that she does, and that's why he stays in the same room.  We either need to teach him to run away, although when she starts walking I think she will be able to overtake him, or we need to teach him to tolerate our daughter.   Or... we need to find him a new home.

Any parents or professionals our there who have had to deal with this?  What do I do?

Thanks!

Sam

I have to deal with this all the time at work... I just don't want you to take the advice wrong because often parents do take it wrong.  Your cat is old.  Arthritis is not fun at all.  It's very painful.  Is he on any kind of anti inflammatory to control his pain and discomfort?  If not, seek one from his vet ASAP!  Put him on it.  Lots of people don't want their cats on medication... Think of him as a senior.  He needs it.  The benefits far outweigh the risks in his situation. 

Of course he moves only a few feet.  This was his house FIRST.  He wants to be near you.  He realizes she's a baby and she doesn't mean to hurt him.  But toddlers often are a lot stronger and rougher than they mean to be, so he treats her as he would a kitten.  He gives her a little smack or a nip and then moves, right?  I don't think he'd actually hurt her.  I've never seen a situation so far where a kid was hurt at all... More just startled and the parents blew it way out of proportion.  I'm not saying you are. I am sure it is upsetting.  You don't want him scratching her... It could cause problems other places (with family, or nursery school, etc) to see cat scratches on her. 

He's an older cat, with arthritis.  He wouldn't find another home and most likely shelters will destroy him immediately in lieu of healthy younger cats needing homes.  There's just no room. 

Get him some anti inflammatory meds, find a safe room for him.... Don't think of it as punishment.  But when you start to see your daughter might be getting too rough, just calmly put him in his safe room.  Tell her that he needs a time out.  Teach her that she is not to bother him at this time.  When she is calmer, you can open the door to let him out.  Just keep doing this.  He needs to see that it is still his house.  She needs to see that sometimes kitties need a break, too.  You need to realize that he isn't trying to hurt her, he is just letting her know the way he would with babies of his own species that she is being too rough.  He does love her.

Hi.  Thanks for your reply.

I will try the things you mention. However there a couple of things about your reply:

I think we would react differently if our cat wasn't scratching her on the face, but that's generally where he aims, and any scratches on the face generally are way to close to her eyes for comfort.  We're going to to get his nails trimmed.

I like the safe room idea, and we can shut him out of the room we generally hang out in, but Bugs also wants to be near us, so I'm not sure if we're going to hear a lot of scratching and crying if he can't be with us

Our vet is currently Banfield (petco).  There's reasons for this, but long story short it will be more likely that I get a med prescribed if I suggest one, so if you have any suggestions I'm all for it.  I've tried glucosamine chews, but Bugs wouldn't eat them.   He doesn't limp all the time, so the vet also couldn't really see what was going on with his joints.  I'm assuming it's arthritis, but frankly I don't know for sure.  I'm not sure it's at a point that he's in a lot of pain... he just limps more than occasionally.

I don't have kids but used to have many come to visit and also stay over regularly when I had my previous 2 tabbies.  One of the cats was great with kids and would tease and taunt them and play to get their attention while staying JUST out of their reach as they developed.  Then when each of the kids was about 2 they caught her out and kicked her on her nose - amazing how all of them did the same thing to her and all at the same age.  She still played with them, she was such a cuddle bug and was able to bounce out of the way if she wanted. Her sister was like your Bugs, she had been very fit and agile when young but became arthritic and her movements were quite stiff.  She was the less dominant of the cats because of her mobility issues and was quite anxious and would hide from the kids as a result.  If they went near her she would hiss and spit but never hit out - that said if any of the kids had been younger and crawled up to her regardless of the spitting she might well have hit out so.  She had lots of safe places she could sneak in to at floor level or just above, and made use of them.  

I agree with P3 and the King that it would probably be hard to re-home your older cat, esp with some health issues but if you do decide your child is at risk then you have to do what you feel is best.  That said, both your cat and your child have the potential to learn from their encounters and I am sure that they will.  Yes - keep your cats' claws well clipped, and perhaps look in to Soft Paws if you haven't done this already.  If you exclude either your cat or your daughter after any interaction they have it is unlikely that any positive learning and relationship will develop for them to share space, but if you can find ways to reduce your anxieties about every-ones safety while they explore and learn about each other I am sure things will settle down and your daughter's life be all the richer for it.   If you can try things like the Soft Paws and maybe have a few little hideaway spaces for Bugs in the family rooms which make it harder for your little girl to reach him if he doesn't want her to then hopefully you will be able to work something out.

Good luck.

If he's limping or hard for him to move, he's "uncomfortable".... I would asks around for a good and reasonable vet in your area.  They can find a medication that is really beneficial for him and his situation. 

I understand that the face is a big problem area for you, as it would be for any parent.  But the safe room, put a condo or a bed in there.  Make it his own area that he knows is strictly his.  So he'll be comfortable.  He won't think of it as a punishment.  He'll think of it as his own area. 

Still, there's not really a way to teach him how to deal with a toddler.  He will deal with her as he would an unruly kitten.  And until she is old enough to understand, this is really your best option. 

A set of x-rays would confirm arthritis or not.

I use Adequan (an injection) and Onsior (an NSAID) with my senior. I keep Buprenex (a pain med) on hand for breakthrough pain.

Adequan was done wonders for my Lucky, especially in conjunction with the NSAID.
Meloxicam is another NSAID that is used.

As for a glucosamine supplement, you could try Cosequin. It comes in a capsule, but you open it up and sprinkle it on food. Most cats take it just fine mixed with a tablespoon of canned food.

Also, I second what @P3 and The King as said about giving Bugs his own "safe space." Make sure you put a litter box, food/water, a soft blanket/bed and a cat perch in the room for him to make it extra cozy.

Certainly get Bugs's nails trimmed. You can also look into Soft Claws or something similar. Those are plastic nail caps that fit over *trimmed* nails. If you choose this option, you will need to check his nails frequently as the caps are suppose to fall off as the nail grows out...this isn't always the case and the caps can grown into the pads. Just checking the caps weekly can keep this from happening.

If it isn't posible to make a whole room (which is often the case) try to make it some corner or place in one of your family rooms but make it clear it is your cats' space only and not easy for your toddler to get in to - kind of like a play pen idea in reverse.

I used Cosequin for my elderly, arthritic cat, Puck. He was a very picky eater and in his final years had very little hunger drive, but he never had a problem with food mixed with Cosequin. No prescription required; I could get it off the shelf at Petco.

If you're feeling brave enough, ask your vet for instruction on clipping your cat's claws yourself. I do this with my kittens once a week or so. With older cats in particular it's important, because often they find it difficult to retract their claws the older they get, and they can get tangled up on carpets and upholstery and clothing very easily.

I think it's very important for young children, young dogs, young kittens, etc to learn as early as possible to respect other creatures, and a swipe is the tried and true way for a cat to teach this lesson. Of course, it would be awful if your daughter were injured while learning this, so keep your cat's claws clipped - or use Soft Paws - to prevent damage.

Also, have you gotten pet steps for your cat? They might make it easier for him to escape onto the sofa or to some other safe space when your daughter gets too curious about him.

You mentioned that your daughter nine months old, so I have another (kind of crazy) suggestion that may or may not work. When I introduced my 10 month old nephew to Puck (my nephew wasn't talking and wouldn't be for another 4 months or so), I talked to him a little bit about my cat. He was very old, I explained, and very slow and very fragile. He hurt a lot. So we had to be really gentle with him, and touch him very carefully. And that I was pretty sure that Max wouldn't have a problem with it, because Max (my nephew) was a very careful and gentle boy, and that was one of the things I really liked about Max.

When Max approached Puck after that, he reached out to pat his side and just barely brushed against the tips of his fur, and then he looked at me as if to ask if he was doing it right. He wasn't speaking and wouldn't be for a while, but he could understand plenty. Explaining the problem to him and assuring him that he was already good at what I was asking him to do made him determined to prove me right :heart4: