Tiny kitten stressed and unsocialized

Please help! I desperately need advice from someone on how to help my new kitten. For background, she was found when she was (barely) 3 weeks old, tiny and crying she had diarrhea and was malnourished, but we took her to the vet 2 days later and she was otherwise healthy. She had some fleas but was otherwise healthy, just very small. Obviously I know she should NEVER have been taken from her mother so young, but with google and help from our vet, I've done the best that I could with her and she is healthy and playful with lots of energy.

The problem is that unfortunately, kitty came into our lives at a pretty bad time, as my husband and I moved about 3 weeks after we got her. Again, I know this was not ideal either, but we did everything we could think of (feliway, keeping her in her pet gear playpen w/all her bedding, fav toys, etc, while we were getting the new apt put together) to minimize the stress for her, but it didn't seem to help. Although we moved to a FAR better environment for her, I think that her lack of socialization/trauma from being taken from mom and abandoned combined w/the stress of the move is making her very very unhappy and aggressive she bites, scratches, hisses, and attacks is constantly except when she is sleeping. She will only cuddle with me at night, when she sleeps on my shoulder. Worst of all, she has stopped purring! She ONLY purrs when she is in her fuzzy bed, which she likes to "nurse" on. I've had several cats and kittens before, but of course never one this young, and I've tried everything I know and am at my wit's end how to make her happy and help her relax, and get her to stop biting! I know that another kitten would help, but that really isn't a viable option at the moment, and I am also concerned that getting another kitten would actually cause her even more stress. At this point, I am seriously considering rehoming her somewhere with other cats or people who are able to spend more time with her than we are since we both work this would absolutely break my heart, but I want what is best for her, and so I am just seeking any advice i can get as to a) help my poor unhappy baby, and me, or b) tell me whether the situation is probably hopeless and I need find her a new home. Please help, and thank you for reading!

I think the reason she is acting this way is not because she is stressed, but because she didn't have her mother around to teach her.  YOU have to take on that roll, and when she does things she shouldn't, like biting, etc., you probably need to actually HISS at her. 

I'm going to ask that this thread be moved to another Forum where you will get better advise for this kitty (either Behavior, or Pregnant Cats and Kittens) and hopefully someone who deals in this type of thing will have some great advise for you.

BTW, thank you for rescuing this little one.

This may sound ridiculous but put her in a fuzzy blanket put the blanket in your arms (DO NOT put your hair near her that want to swat at it) then sing soft kitty in a soft tone it calmed my baby down in an electrical storm

I think another vet check up is in order. She my be acting out due to a physical problem that isn't noticable to you. Your vet may also have some suggestions about what you can do for her. If her problem is anxiety medication may help and if it was my kitten I would try it. I would also try changing her diet since food intolerance can affect behavior.

I think part of the problem may be that she is not feeling secure in her environment. I highly recommend checking out Jackson Galaxy's website to get to get some ideas on how to "catify" your home to make her feel more secure. Maybe get some cardboard boxes and put them around the house for her to hide in and also some high up spots since many cats feel safe high up.

I do think that you're correct that your kitten would benefit from being with other cats. As good as we may be to our cats we can't provide what another cat can. If you can't get another cat could you at least try to foster one to see if things improve? With a foster it's of course not a permanent commitment. I would try a kitten about her age. If that's not an option maybe finding a temporary foster home for her with another kitten to see how that goes.

How old is the kitten now? And how long have you been in your new home?

I pull very young kittens out of the local high kill shelter. It is always better to have more then one. A vet check wouldn't hurt. meanwhile, try a rice sock. Sometimes it's like having a buddy for little ones. You take a tube sock, add any rice, tie a knot and stick it in the microwave for about 90 seconds, depending on your microwave. You want it warm, but not too hot. You can stick that in her bed, or wrap in in something made of a fabric she likes. 

For unsocialized kits, nothing is better then having a socialized kit with them to teach them to be a cat. When I adopt oneout I get one who needs socializing and they come around.Some take longer then others.

 

I'm sorry you feel so distressed  your kitten is not happy with her home,  and worried about what would be best for her.  It sounds like she has had a difficult start in life and I think she has been very lucky to find her way in to the lives of people who obviously care about her and want the best for her.  I understant that you have taken her to see your vet and that she is healthy but it is always good to keep your eyes open for anything new or changing which could indicate she has something not right about her health as she was so little when she left her mother.

She is still very young, and she has not had a lot of time with other cats to learn about cat behaviours and things like bite and claw pressure.  She can learn things like this from you but it does take a lot of patience and consistent responses from everyone she regularly plays with.   She is right at the age where she should be full of energy, playing for long sessions to build her stamina and strength, and her brain and body learn about coordination and perfect all the skills she needs for running, jumping, leaping, climbing and all those other things her body is designed to do.  Her natural instinct will be to do these things with you I suspect given that she does not have siblings or parents to do them with.  Unfortunately that puts you right in line for razor sharp claws and teeth.  Oh, and she will probably start teething soon if she hasn't already.

I now have a slightly chubby, rather lazy cat that is approaching his fourth birthday but when Mouse was 7 or 8 weeks old I met him for the first time and all the breeder could say about him was that he was a 'plank'.  He only ever sat still to feed or to sleep, and if he came and sat on me or near me and I attempted to stroke him he would dart off, probably giving me a quick nip before he did.  This was the routine until I adopted him at 15 weeks but somehow I knew he would settle eventually and cuddle in.  Until he was over a year old this was only when I was in bed, and even then I had to go through at least 30 minutes of serious play before bed and another 30 minutes once there by means of feather wands, mice and bird toys I could throw for him to chase after until he was ready to settle down (to prevent him from biting at my feat, hands and face).   He would play for an hour non stop several times a day if I could find the energy, and if I didn't respond to his initial attempts to get my attention he would go through varying degrees of cat attacks to see what would happen....  initially the biting was hard and gradually he was shown that this was not acceptable and would not get the result that he wanted.  The same process was needed with his habit of jumping at and on to my head and face.  (He is and has been since I adopted him a rather confident cat LoL).  As far as he was concerned I seemed to be another cat and he tried to play with me like he had his mom, with teeth but thankfully no claws.

It looks like you have had some good advice on introducing toys around the same size as your little girl to rough and tumble with instead of directly with your hands or feet, and the soft sock with warm rice is a great idea for calming her and giving her a little comfort and warmth when she is tired with her being so small.  The soft singing idea above, and soft talking or reading aloud are also great ways to calm and start to bond and socialize with a cat, and helps them to relax with you.   She may not snuggle in with you now but if she will curl up and relax close to you this will be a great compliment from her.  It is fine to play with her until she starts to pant a little then rest and then play again as this is what will tire her out.  Mouse would continue to bite at me and pester until he had had several play sessions like this each day.   If her need for play is greater than you can offer you may want to think about that second cat but it is not always the best solution and I would err on the side of caution as, like you have already said it may cause her more distress at a time where she needs to settle with you in your new home and to bond with you.  I think if you get to know each other more over the coming days and weeks, and you all get used to your new home you will see things settle down.  If you are consistent in ignoring behaviours you do not want to reinforce and see repeated, and encourage those that you do through positive responses and attention I am sure she will start to understand how to play with you.

In case you haven't read them, here are some useful links to TCS articles on play and how to best work with your cat on acceptable behaviours:

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/cats-and-discipline-dont-mix

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/playtime-aggression

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/cats-and-night-crazies

Any update on the little kitten?