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Whats a girl to do ???

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
My work is great, and the company is so unlike any company I have ever known. Its more like a family, and we all watch out for each other. The company looks after its employees, and while the pay may not be great, its worth the wage drop, to work such a high moral, close knit company. There is one problem though. Nothing is perfect.

In a few weeks time is the Christmas party. It is a really big event, and the company spend loads of money on the party, and its talked about for months after. From the venue, to the food, to the
entertainment, everything is talked about.

Last year I was a Temp, and they don't invite the Temps, at least not until all the other staff have had a chance to say they are coming or not. But there was another more pressing thing, that stopped me, when I was finally invited a few days before the party, from going.

This year they invite all the Temps immediately. What a positive step out of the dark ages for them, but there is still
this one thing though...all the guests must bring an opposite sex
partner ! I'm single, and while I would like to have a boyfriend
( I'm human after all ) I have 28year old, self esteem issues that would't be fair to dump on a boyfriend just now, so will stay single for a while longer yet...but rules say that without a partner, you can't come ! How fair is that !?!

The other thing is that, I'm allergic to alcohol, so couldn't eat a single thing on the fixed menu anyway. When I pointed this out, I was told the food is served between 7 and 8 and I could always come
later, as the menu is not flexible, and the apologise but can't do anything different for just one person, and they hoped I'd still come !

I have been with the company for over a year now, and get on well with everyone, including all the senior staff...I really, really, want to go to the party, but what am I going to do for a partner ??? All my 15 male friends work in showbiz and can't get off work on a Saturday night, and my female friends don't want to go to a party hosted by such a sexist company, so I am really totally male-less/partner less !

Two people turned up alone last year, and were relegated to the very back corner of the room, and while they were not totally ignored, it was made clear it was not a 'singles' world. Thye have already refused to come this year, and made a big thing about why.

I still really, really want to go. Any ideas, on how to get this
Cinderella to the ball ????

Peace, Love, and Happiness, Always
post #2 of 13
You know what? Get a bunch of singles from the office and you all go stag together. Have a raucous good time doing your own thing and show all those perverted idiots that they're wrong!

I cannot believe the insensitivity of some people! Geez! What if you were married and your husband was on-call 24/7 and got called in just before the party? Would they still be jerks? I have that possibility whenever hubby and I do anything.

I say GO STAG! It works at prom and it should work there too, but make sure you get a group of people because it makes it more fun.
post #3 of 13
No offense here, but for such a 'great' company, those policies sound like they are from the dark ages.

Why would they require a date of the opposite sex? I've never heard of that anywhere. And to tell you the menu is not flexible is pretty darned rude too....any respectable hall or restaurant will cater to people w/ a specific request such as vegetarian, kosher, etc.

I say skip the party and go out w/ your single friends.
post #4 of 13
I am with Daniela on this one. If they are going to be so narrowly focused and homophobic (because that is how they sound) why even join in? To put such restrictions on their invitees is ridiculous. Who needs them? Most of the time Christmas Parties are just excuses for people to get drunk and act like fools.
post #5 of 13
Thread Starter 
I know they do have dark aged policy, but they really aren't that bad...err...well, ok...maybe they are.

The homophobic issue hasn't really been one. The son of the company
Director is gay and is married to a lovely man, and they come to the party. I think it is more that they know the other staff are hetrosexual and married.

The parties from the tales, are never drunken shameful nights, but more of music and dancing, and of course alcohol. It seems to be
that a good time is had by all, with photos to prove it.

I am the only person in the company who can't take alcohol, so they
do have a valid point about changing an £50 a head menu, for one...it happens a lot in the UK apparently, this menu exclusion thing. They do have 4 vegetarian meals for people and 5 vegan meals, but all are laced with alcohol.

The only singles in the company are five ladies. The two that protest, one lady who is away, another who is a divorcee, and doesn't want to go anyway. Please do not feel I am age-ist, but they are also all in their mid 50's. I'm a young 28yr old, and I really don't have a lot in common with them apart from work.
I suggested a night out a while ago, in summer, but they all said they wanted to be in by 9pm, and other excuses so it never happened. There is no one to go stag with, except myself.

I hate it that all my couple friends from work are going and
I can't because I can't get a date.
post #6 of 13
Couldn't you just go find a date at some bar? There probably plenty of guys out there willing to go. I know that you might not get to know them too well by the time the party comes, but if you want to go as bad as you say it may be your last resort.

Anyway, good luck with whatever you choose.

post #7 of 13
Sonia - that sounds grim. I can't offer any advice coz you've covered all the angles.

I have a food allergy (nuts and sesame seeds) and have always had a problem with these 'cheapie' type Christmas menus and venues. Their inflexibility is disgusting. They will just about cater for veggies, but not for food/drink allergies and religious considerations. Things are getting slightly better, but there was one occasion not that many years ago when I refused the Chsitmas pudding due to nut content and was presented with an apple!!!!!!!!!

I would say that you should register your protest by not going. This bring a partner thing is a pain in the butt - it's nice for partners to feel included in one's work but this policy can really stigmatise those who are single.
post #8 of 13
I agree that the attitudes of the company sound like they come from the dark ages, but here is one suggestion if you really want to comply and go to the party. You wrote in your first post that you have 15 male friends, but they are all in show biz, so can't come. Put the word out with all of them that you need a date to the party - they all must have other friends, don't they? And back when I was single, I used to occasionally to fix up single friends with other single friends from time to time. Make it clear to them that you're not trying to make a love match, just need someone to have a good time with for the evening.

As for the food...eat before you go, push around the food on your plate, and nibble on some bread. At least it doesn't sound like a major drunk party, which would be a drag as the only sober one (I would know, I'm a sober alcoholic.)
post #9 of 13
UGH! This is the most distasteful thing I have ever heard of! You are unwelcome because you don't have a date? They couldn't pay me enough to go to this party. This is a most insensitive way to treat co-workers who are "like family".
post #10 of 13
I think a Christmas Party is for the employee's. All of them. There should be no rule that says you have to bring a date. If they only want partnered people to go to this shindig, than I wouldn't go if I were you. I would go find some other single people and have a party of my own with them.
post #11 of 13
I don't agree with the rules, but if you really want to go, do you have a brother or male cousin to escort you?
post #12 of 13
How about your couple friends go stag with you? I'd do that if my friend asked me to.

But from what you say I think Hissy and Deb were right, don't go, go to a party where you're truly welcome and will have fun.
post #13 of 13
Sometimes you just have to make a stand in order to change what has become a tradition. Perhaps a well worded, unemotional letter to someone in charge of this shindig would help them see that being so inflexible hurts them in the long run.
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