Adding kitten to house with cat - are they playing or fighting?

Hi all -

We have a 7 year old indoor female.  About a month ago we ended up rescuing a now-6-month-old female kitten from a bad situation.  We did not intend to keep her - but several weeks of effort did not turn up a new home for her, and now we are becoming attached and considering keeping her.  But we don't want to make our current cat unhappy!

Because she was supposed to be temporary, the kitten was in her own space for weeks.  Then we started considering keeping her, so started short supervised visits.  There was some hissing and wariness, but not bad at all.  About 10 days ago we started letting the kitten have run of the house when we are awake and home.  

I can't decide how it is going.  It many ways it seems good.  Kitten is sweet, likes laps, and seems eager to snuggle with older cat.  Kitten has tried to put her head on cat a couple of times, but cat always moves pretty quickly.  However, they regularly sleep in the same room within several feet of each other.  Kitten will sometimes move closer, and cat will sometimes allow it.  :-)  No grooming, but they will touch noses and sniff each other frequently.

But I'm not sure about the "play."  Sometimes it seems good - the cats taking turns chasing each other through the house.  But sometimes it seems to get too aggressive?  Usually it is the kitten who is jumping on the older cat repeatedly, and the older cat will hiss and seem pretty unhappy.  Once or twice there has been fur flying, but usually not.  Sometimes ears are back, and again once or twice I've seen arched backs - but most of the time it is wrestling and pawing at one another with little to no sound.  If someone hisses, it is always the older cat.  

My older cat has NEVER been around another cat since we rescued her at 8 weeks old.  So I partially wonder if this is just normal working itself out.  I don't know how to judge what is positive behavior and what is a problem.

Also, I have been trying to distract them with food or toys when it starts to seem to aggressive - but would it be better to let them figure out the pecking order?  Or would that make it more likely that they would fight more next time?

Any input is appreciated!  Thanks!

Cats do not like change and need time to adjust.  It's not on your time table, but their own.  As a general rule, behaviorists say it can take at least a month for the current cat(s) to accept a newcomer.  Sometimes it's shorter, sometimes it's longer.  Each situation is different.  Most of this seems normal... Except for one thing. OK, first thing is first, is the new kitty fixed?  Are either of them fixed?  If not, do so ASAP!!!  Two intact females will battle each other constantly for top cat.  Even when they are fixed, it takes about a month for hormones to reside and leave the system.  Still, two fixed females, it is better, but females are more temperamental with each other.  Sometimes they will seem to be fine and others the fur will fly for a few moments.  It's because females are more apt to being "top cat" or alpha than males are.  And the hierarchy needs to be decided between them.  Usually just let them be.  They won't seriously hurt each other.  If it bothers you a sharp "NO" will suffice usually.  If it doesn't, just calmly separate them for a little bit.  Wait until they have both calmed down and then let them be with each other again.  It is not punishment.  Think of it as a time out from each other.  Sometimes, when they are too stimulated, a time out/break is just what is needed. 

It looks to me that things are going just fine. You introduced the kitten only a  month you say? Your are handling everything quite well.   

It's great to hear some positive feedback!  Our older cat is spayed.  The kitten is not yet - like I said, we were "definitely" not going to keep her (!); plus our vet recommends waiting until 6 months old, which would be right about now.  So, P3, it sounds like you would recommend spaying ASAP?

I also wonder if people have opinions about 1 cat vs 2 cats.  We always felt that our cat seemed pretty happy as an only, so we had no real reason to subject her to a "roommate."  But now I'm wondering if there could be benefits to the cat to having another cat along, assuming they get along.  

We are officially still on the fence about keeping the kitten - we have decided to keep her for a trial period and see how their relationship evolves...

I would absolutely get her spayed now.. I think 6 months is the upper limit when it comes to spaying time and you really don't want her going on heat!

As for keeping or not keeping, it really is something you need to decide, but sooner rather than later as it's easier to rehome a younger cat.

It may be that they'll never be close, but it could also be that your 7 year old isn't wild about having a young, energetic whirlwind of a cat around and things may change as she gets older.   Or they may be best buddies very quickly. 

I'm not much help, am I? 

Hi all - So, an update and a new question.

We did get the kitten spayed.  It's been nearly 2 weeks now since she was spayed.  Since then it's been pretty good - they will chase each other through the house, which seems good.  Sometimes they wrestle, but hissing has (I think?) decreased in frequency.  

Kitten still wants to snuggle with and groom older cat - but usually the older cat will only endure it for a minute or so then she pushes the kitten away with a hiss, or walks away.  But they will sleep near each other - and a few times when they were more asleep than awake they have snuggled.

Today, for the first time, the older cat started grooming the kitten.  It was very sweet.  Older cat did that for about 4 minutes or so - then then kitten shifted a tiny bit,  and suddenly older cat started hissing, biting, attacking the kitten - in a heartbeat went from sweet to crazy!

I'm hoping that this is just another slow step in the right direction - does that seem possible to all of you?  Have any of you seen this crazy switch from affection to anger like that?

Thanks for your input!