New Feral Owner

Hi there! We recently took in 2 feral kittens, the male, Shadow (the gray) was about 15-16 weeks old and adjusting well, however his sister, Bast (the black) who we caught about 3 weeks later is not... They're both litter trained, and he's a total snuggle bug, but the females hides 95% of the time and when we do try to interact she's extremely aggressive and hostile.

We're at our wits end on how to help Bast adjust and feel safe. They've both been to the vet and are healthy and have had their first shots.Any advice would be welcome.

Thanks

Thank you for taking in these cats.
I'm afraid I only have encouragement to offer, no magic answer.
Every cat's 'DNA' is different; some cats simply take a LOOONNNNGGGG time to come around and some cats don't totally become love bugs. Ritz and her littler mates were trapped when she was around four months old, and even after five years, she still spooks easily sometimes acts like I'm going to hit her (crouches, fight or flight posture).
You can try Feliway plug ins. When possible, cuddle, pet, play with Shadow while her sister is watching or at least in the same room. Cats can learn from one another.

I agree with Ritz advices and remarks.  Calming music may also help.

That said,  there is a charm in shy cats, when they become friends with the family.  Them being shy to strangers is no big matter.

They may possibly have one Russian Blue parent.  This could add some genetic heritage; quite a few RB are shy to strangers, and quite docile at home.

(her ferouciossness is surely mostly defensive, she doesnt dare to allow a meeting).

Also, do speak a lot to them and her, in a friendly voice, also making a lot of friendly soft voices.

Re the body language: dont look in her eyes, look a little aside.  Looking on with half closed, slowly blinking eyes is friendly.  Also, yawning and streching on yourself is friendly - like cats do.

Do not raise the hand above head, like you would strike, or swipe with the paw.

This with looking with the eyes, and not be afraid of raised hands, is a big part of domestication.   Home cats can do it, they are used their humans do so frequently.

Shy semiferales arent.  And looking in the eyes is often hostile.

My feral family looks similar to yours! I have a "Big Grey" and Blackie.  Big Grey likes to be petted and rubbed.  She has to come to you, no lap sitting.  I sit on the ground and she comes around to my back first.  She will never approach me from the front.  Her sister, Blackie, is more feral.  She will allow you to touch her when she is eating. They do not know how to play and take no interest in toys. I talk to her and she likes her treats in the heated cat house we keep for them.  I have worked with them since the mom showed up with them, they were about 13 weeks old.  She has a feral instinct that I have not been able to break. They were all Trapped, Spayed, Ear Tipped and Released.  Maybe if you sit on the floor reading with treats next to you she will approach you. Mine are food motivated.  My ferals see me as their food source.

We have two eight year old cats, born feral, who were brought inside at six months old.  The female, a torti, basically ignored us until about six months ago, when she suddenly discovered she liked to be brushed.  (I'd tried it on and off over the years but something stuck then).  She now seeks us out to be brushed.  She still doesn't like to be picked up but every once in a while, she'll sit on the chair or bed next to us and allow pets.

Her brother, on the other hand, still cowers if one of us walks towards him too fast.  He will allow my husband to pet him and once in a blue moon, I am allowed to give him a head scratch.  But he is a happy housecat otherwise - just not interested in a lot of interaction.  He also runs and hides every time the door opens - he is NOT going back outside.

He does respond to blinkies - slow, soft blinks of your eyes.  As Stefan said, it is cat language indicating everything is cool.  Try it and see what happens.

So depending on her personality, you cat may never be a lap cat.  But she is capable of having a good life inside.

Thank you for all the wonderful advice. We went out today and bought one of the large cages which we're going to separate into two levels for Bast. Hopefully going back to step 1 will help her adjust better, and she'll have enough room for us to put her brother in with her for some social time as well.

I thought you'd all like to see some pics of her uncles, the original 2 I was feeding.

The larger one is my "Baby", and he will come and cry at the door JUST for loves and pets.

The one with the mustache is Rocco (formerly Rocky because he used to beat up all the others). He's more skittish, but will let me pet him while he's eating.

Baby lets me pet him whenever and will come in the house.

As you can see, the older boys have no problems coming inside to eat, so long as the door is open.

The second picture is Rocco eating with Bast (by the door) and Shadow watching from the driveway.

The Black at the bottom is our 12 yr old female Conga (who was a rescue kitty we got in February), she's a registered emotional support animal (I have moderate to severe social anxiety).

Beautiful kitties!

My family had some super shy cats through the years. In the end, they often bonded only with one human and staked out a bedroom they almost never left. It's tough when they're super shy, but they can live rich lives. It just takes a little extra effort.

Some cats you can gain their trust with food, treats, or even just companionship. Some cats respond better to activity. Have you tried playing with her? Leaving things for her to do on her own? Luna, one of our feral sisters, was super, super shy. The only things that got her to start approaching was 1: seeing her sister approaching and 2 playing with her. They both knew the laser pointer comes from me. I'd aim it around, and Luna would chase it until her sister ambushed her, they'd wrestle and chase, then start over again. Now I often toss treats around and she tries to catch them (She's grabbed them mid-air with her paw many times, she's quite dexterous!). She's super energetic and goofy when she isn't overly paranoid. 
 

Also, I have a garage separate from the house in the back yard, that I'd sit in with the girls during the bad weather last year. I'd bundle up, and read a book on my phone, keeping still and quiet. They would groom, then fall asleep on insulated mats. If she becomes comfortable enough to sleep in your presence, it'll bring you a LOT closer to socializing her. Both play and sleep leave her vulnerable, and if she sees that you can be trusted with her safety at such times, she'll feel more comfortable in general.

To this day, I've never touched Luna. It's not something she wants. That isn't to say she doesn't like affection, just not in the form of contact. She likes to sit nearby, to play, to watch what I do. But chances are, she'll never really want to be touched. And that's fine. Your girl may be that way, but she is sure to find ways to show her affection regardless.

This is Jeckle, the kittens mama... she and her twin Heckle (yes, I named them Heckle and Jeckle after the cartoon crows, lol) are both black and gorgeous) every time I open the door she looks for the kittens. We're hoping to get her caught this week, to be spayed and released.

We know Bast may never become a lap-cat, but we'd be happy with her not spending 95% of her time in hiding and afraid of us.

I have 3 feral cats + 3 domestic cats in a cat room. They all get along, use the litter box + are all spayed/neutered. I have had them all together for a year. Still, one of the girl cats sounds like your cat. I have tried all kinds of things, including medications from my veterinarian. The other semi-feral cats,Pepper and Sugar are alternates. The hissy cat, Mighty Mouse, didn't have the alternative mother, that the other 2 cats had, so her beginnings were much harder, plus her genetics are different. So, recently I bought some interactive toys which the other cats and she are fascinated by. I play a YouTube video of cats purring (for 8 or 9 hours) which relaxes all the cats. Lavender also has a calming effect. All I can say is have lots + lots of patience. That is what I am having to do.
I also care for a small colony, where my indoor cats came from. I spayed Pepper + Sugar's Mama,as well as 5 others. My outside cats aka colony know me, as I have been caring for them for over a year. Different temperaments, some sweeter than Mighty Mouse, however I haven't given up on her coming around. Time and patience. Hope this helps! Barbara

bj1jhu said:

. I play a YouTube video of cats purring (for 8 or 9 hours) which relaxes all the cats. Lavender also has a calming effect.

Click to expand...

Its easy to find on Youtube, just write  purring cats.

But what link do you use?  Your version apparently works.

One of the sites I'd found that gives advice for helping feral kittens to adjust was to keep the television on, in the room they're in. It said that the voices would help the kittens to get used to people talking, arguing etc (I keep on one of the channels that shows several of the old 80's TV shows, The Waltons, Little House on The Prairie, Matlock, etc)  it HAS seemed to help, as the kittens are not the least bit skittish when we talk to them or to one another. We've also just started the process of buying a house, which will give us more room, and we've already discussed screening in the front porch so the cats can have a place "outside" to hangout and play.

Just a quick update:

Bast is in the cage!!  

It took me 4 hours and a ridiculous amount of "well this isn't working". lol.

I tried bribery (meat from a roasted chicken - which her brother happily ate), treats, and just plain "let her explore"...

I finally got her, mostly by accident. I went into the living room for something and she ran into the bedroom behind me...

I dragged the cage and used it to block the doorway (i went in bedroom first) so her ONLY option to leave the room was to go IN the cage...

and I gently closed the door.

I then slid the cage back into the kitchen, as our apartment isn't that big, and "stuff" means not too many spaces big enough for the cage (which is a certified "AKC medium "dog" cage 3' x 24" x 26" and can be divided into 2 sections)

She didn't pitch a fit, in fact she very calmly jumped up onto the 'shelf' I'd made her and had put a very soft fleecy blanket I made just for her.

I also made a cover for the cage so she has some privacy and it feels like a "hidey" for her.

The bigger issue may be getting Shadow to leave her alone to settle. He keeps pawing at her food bowl, and swatting at her tail through the bars.

I'll get some pictures tomorrow.

She has a small litter box, "potty pads" in the cage's bottom tray, and a bowl (it's one of the double bowls) with food and water.

She sat very quietly and watched me fill her bowl.

 

Thank you everyone for your advice and encouragement.

I was honestly at the point of believing we were going to have to give up on her, get her fixed and release her.

I now have hope that she'll realize she is safe and loved and enjoy her new home.

I don't care if she's never a lap cat, or wants to be held or petted. I love her anyway, and I already have Conga who won't even let me go in the bathroom alone, even just to put something away! And Shadow (our only boy) is VERY much a snuggle/cuddle baby when HE wants.

Time for bed and tomorrow I'll move her into the room with me to spend the day "hanging out".

Good for you for giving all of this a major effort - - and for doing so much great trapping and releasing and generally helping out of "your" kitties! We do the same (and have taken in several also - with varying degrees of "lap success" but love them all) so totally understand the love mixed with frustration.

I definitely utilize the "tv on 24/7" idea. It seems to help them get desensitized to human voices. I talk a lot (and I do mean a lot) in a high, soft voice to any kittens we have…I even read aloud. Anything to get them used to my being close. I also really establish that I'm the "bringer of good things" like soft food (although sounds like the chicken didn't pull her in) and Gerber's Stage 2 Chicken baby food. I offer that - and it often takes more than one or two slow, steady offerings of it. It's just so stinky they almost can't resist it. I've had varying success with the other Gerber Stage 2 meat varieties - but chicken seems to be the most "kitty tasty" in general. With all but one kitten over the years (and interestingly - she's the one that ended up as an indoor MAJOR loving lap cat - my first!) be totally sucked in by Gerber's chicken. And that one only was sucked in by hot dogs. I know some people hate giving them anything that's so "junky" but when we discovered she'd actually get near us for bits of hot dog, I'm glad I did it. FIgure a little hot dog in her life outweighs her living outside the rest of her life A little trial and error will help you find what she's really attracted to. We've had cheese - crazy too…but the Gerber's is a 99% hit. 

I also try to do as much as possible to establish a routine around our ferals we're socializing. I always approach with the same sing-song little phrases, in the same feminine, high-pitched, quiet tone. Eventually I can drop the sing-song stuff…but we've even found that they usually get so that they so associate that sound in my voice with food/treats/love/all things good that even when we've visited ferals as adults that we'd fostered and socialized when they were little most still recognize that sound and let me approach.

Just keep trying - - time is the biggest factor. And love  

Keep us posted!

And mean to say too that you've done all the right thing with the cage - most people don't realize a cover is very comforting to them. Eventually I usually move the cover back some as they get more used to me. 

She's definitely not happy, because the cage is such a nice size I can keep most of it uncovered, and still have a full corner where she has her "hidey"...She hasn't eaten much, but she has used her litter box, and she ate the treats I gave her. I'm keeping her in whatever room I'm in so she's used to me, and I always talk to my cats. lol... They're probably sick of my voice. Shadow has gone into full blown "lovey" mode without his sister to hide with. He spent part of the night on the bed with us, and this morning he was very vocal and demanding of love and pets.

Here are some pics of Bast in her "domain".
 

It's only been 12 hours…don't panic that she's not eating yet. That's not long. Hopefully she'll come around soon. Just keep at it! 

Have to ask - does moving the cage freak her out? I know you want her where you are - which I agree with. But wonder if dragging it around is panicking her a bit. I know any time we change anything in a situation where we're socializing it sets them back a bit. We moved one kitten from one room to another in their cage so that a friend could use the guest room we normally keep kittens in - - and it definitely set her back when we moved her and then moved her back. Just kind of thinking aloud….since she's so skittish. Although have to say - compared to what some of ours have looked like after weeks of being worked with - huddled in a corner, looking terrified. Not most - but we've had a few! I think she actually looks pretty settled - so know it could be a heck of a lot rougher! I know - we always hope against hope they'll all be like Shadow  

But you've done an amazing thing bringing them in…and doing so much for the others. I will say if you're just moving a few blocks - it's very possible the ones still outside will find you again. What I always suggest if you're trying to move feeding locations - start calling something distinctive in a distinctive voice (if you don't already - you might) every time you put out food. Trust me - they'll very possibly hear it again if you're only moving a few blocks away! All it takes is one to hear you and find you….they'll tell the others

Keep us posted on Bast (both - but particularly Bast). Fingers crossed!

Bast is mostly mad at me right now. Moving the cage doesn't seem to freak her out, but that might be due to the fact that she's pretty much had free roaming of the apartment for the past month and half. So she knows the whole house. She doesn't like it, but she doesn't even move out of her "corner. I let Shadow in with her for a bit earlier (he cried to get out) and they snuggled and played a bit. She does have a mouse toy on a 'bungee' cord but she's not interested right now.

I adopted a feral five weeks ago. He still hides under the couch, for hours sometimes, but he is walking around a lot too. He loves my other cats and the plan is that they are supposed to help him get a little bit more comfortable with humans. One thing that I noticed that helped him a lot is to find something he truly loved! something that he wanted so bad that he even came near me to get it. In his case this is stick candies and the neko flies wand! When he's playing with it he is so into the hunt. Every time we play he comes closer and closer to me. And by giving him his favourite treats (not hand feeding, just placing in front of him) he seems to have gotten more comfortable with human hands (which he was terrified of when he came). Now he even comes to me when I'm eating and begs for food.

I know all of this is not something you can do right now, but when she's not in her cage and have acclimated herself a bit more in her new home, I suggest you try it.

Also, like people have said above, talking! I talk to Fox a LOT! He knows his name now and he's not uncomfortable with my voice any more.

I'm not going to be able to touch him for a long long time, but I love him so much! He gives me so much joy with every little step he takes. <3

I wish you all the luck with these beautiful kitties!