Need advice!

I have been out of work for about two years now and have not been able to find a job. This has been a burden for the ferals and the five cats I have inside but with some help have managed to feed them and keep them fairly well.

I have been trying desperately to get one of my cats to the vet for some care for a while but I cannot come up with the money.
She has been looking terrible and is sick. I did manage to get her to a low cost vet but they said she would need tests and they would be over $1,000 at another vet. I gave her antibiotics and she got a little better but I could not afford the tests.  I called several vets in the past months and asked if I could please pay them off slowly but everyone wants money up front. No one will work with me.  She looks horrible now and I feel so guilty. I do not know what to do... I am trying to borrow the money and I am hoping that I will be able to do that. She looks so terrible, I think the vet will yell or something but I am sincerely trying my best. I love her so much- it's just so hard... I am just so depressed and I think it is too late to help her.

She is my best friend in the world and I feel so guilty that I cannot help her. She has been through so much with me...I'm crying as I write this...

Not only do I need to get the money but I need a vet who will not judge me. People say that they will do anything to get the money to help their animals and I understand that, but what about when there is nothing that you can do to get the money....and I do mean nothing... Please send any advice...

 

What are her symptoms other than looking very ill?  Is she eating and is the food staying down?  Any diarrhea?  Is she eating a lot but not gaining weight?  I understand the thing about money.  Unfortunately very few vets will take payments, they have been stiffed too many times and they have their own bills to pay to stay in business.  I wouldn't be concerned about a vet judging you and you can refuse tests.  Often a good rundown of symptoms will give a good vet a very good idea of what is going on.

 She has bad teeth and then she got a swelling near the left side of her butt, with chronic diarrhea. That is what I took her to the low cost clinic for. She looked at it but had no idea what it might be.She was a brand new vet. She gave me antibiotics and told me to get I believe an ultrasound? for it. She was afraid to get a sample with a needle as she didn't know what it was. I gave the cat the antibiotics and it did go down. Then it swelled again and she would bite into it and it would drain, then it would go away and the same thing would happen- always the same place. She still has those symptoms and now we have a flea problem and she is biting all over herself and tearing out her hair even with Revolution. She recently has been so miserable that she is climbing up the window and trying to sleep there, but there is no room to perch there so she has fallen a couple of times.. She just looks a mess and has lost an awful amount of weight. I feel awful writing this... I have really let her down...I'm the worst mother in the world...My heart is broken as this is such a special cat. She has always been such a wonderful little lady.