Taming the Feral Kitten in My Bathroom

So glad to hear Theo's on the mend! Worms are such a nasty thing (things)--but glad you caught it before he got even worse.

As far as the driving Luna cuckoo-don't forget he's only 6 months old (how old is Luna?). He's got another good year and a half of having major "kitten crazies" that can drive "more mature felines" nuts. Is she just bugged by him or are you worried for either's safety? If it's the latter, I'd keep going slowly a bit longer. If it's the former, I'd start with short, supervised visits where the scared/annoyed one (in this case, Luna) is being constantly shown how wonderful it is to have him around (re:lavishing on her whatever she loves most----treats -even super luxurious ones like Gerber chicken baby food, or love/pets/her favorite toy----or all of the above from you). She needs to retrain her brain to think "Theo's out? That means it's my lucky day!" Not "who let that punk into my territory?" Then afterwards (for awhile) back he goes into "his space" until "big supervised fun time" begins again.

Good luck & keep us posted!

I'd say she's more bugged by him. I let her into the bathroom when I'm watching, and she wants to explore his space. I did that today and they touched noses, sniffed, no hissing from Luna. Then he dropped down and tried to grab her feet and she walked past him and kind of shook him off. Third time he did that though she whirled around and hissed (understandably) and he dropped to the ground and they stared at each other for a minute or two. Then she turned and went on her way and he did it again so she hissed and jumped onto the counter. So I don't think she'd actually attack him, she's just super irritated by him. So I will start trying some supervised visits outside the bathroom (and Theo will probably be more interested in the outside then in trying to tackle Lu.) Those are all great suggestions (about coddling Luna when he's out) and I'm excited to try!

Honestly, I probably won't have Theo for his whole "kitten crazies" stage... He's a foster and while I'm super tempted to keep him, a couple of things have made me determined to go through with the program: 1) I think if I kept him, he'd continue to stress Luna. Maybe not and maybe they can learn to get along fine, but more importantly: 2) if I can find him a good home, that would allow me to take in another foster or adopt another, "less desirable" (i.e. older) cat. I've grown very attached to the little troublemaker, but I think he could make a great pet for someone who's looking for a young cat. And I think he is adoptable, maybe not there quite yet, but pretty close. So that's sort of where I'm headed, at least mentally, right now...

So, update: Theo is fully recovered, and is being super rambunctious to make up for lost time. I've started letting him out into my living room with Luna for short, supervised visits and it's going pretty well. He's a little less likely to try and tackle her because there's much more room, though he still does it and she still reacts negatively. I can play with both of them at the same time: Lu occupies one half of the living room and he's got a corner and I can move their laser pointer back and forth to their respective sides.

I'm having trouble reading Luna's body language. Sometimes she'll lay on her side and look at Theo a couple feet away and kind of do a head rub/half roll on the carpet, like she's inviting him to play but he doesn't approach when she's like this. She chased him the other night, but was kind of loping after him rather than seeming to try and drive him off... He got scared and ran back to the bathroom. Then the other times, when he tries to tackle her, she'll either get out of the way or sometimes take him to the ground with her. A couple times she'll seem to do soft bites, like play bites or warning bites: I can't tell which. I break them up at this point just by touching her and then he'll retreat a few feet. She's never seemed to be intent on hurting him, but I can't quite tell where she stands... Any thoughts?

Oh, and Kittychick, great advice on the treats. I did that the first couple of times and it worked like a charm so we had a pretty smooth introduction.

I think it sounds like they're becoming buddies! Even ours that I am POSITIVE feel great about each other ---dare I say love each other? --- have their moments. Flick and Bowie do what we call "kitty tussle" where it's like slow motion sumo wrestling....but both only mouth, never bite, ounce but never pounce hard enough to hurt, flip each other over to "pin" each other, but in such slow motion it doesn't hurt. They'll run up and down the hall after each other, obviously playing. Then all of the sudden, one will act like they're  being chased by a murdering monster, complete with screaming, howling, and fangs bared. The other usually just stops and looks confused. Then 5 minutes later, they're snuggling on the couch together in one giant lump.  Ahhhh,...to know what goes on in their minds

Ha ha... those are great descriptions! Yeah, I wish I could understand 'em too. It make things so much simpler!

Well I'm encouraged that you think they're playing rather than fighting/being aggressive. I know Theo's pretty clueless about the whole thing, I just can't/couldn't really tell where Luna is... I will keep doing supervised visits and maybe it will become clearer. Right now I'm breaking them up when Luna starts to tussel with him because I can't really tell her intent... I'll just keep playing it by ear, I suppose.

So, we've been trying nightly visits but it only lasts for half hour to an hour before Luna starts having a difficult time of it. She'll hiss and bat, but he continues to tackle her. (It reminds me of watching an elk getting taken down by wolves: he hounds her and hounds her until she's tired, then "attacks" her from behind and she goes down.) She'll hide behind things, and sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesn't. Not to say they haven't had good play moments together either, even a couple times where Luna chases Theo back. I'll try and exhaust him but he'll play until he's sprawled and panting (which worries me) then spring up and go after her again. So, limited and supervised visits are the only way I can work this.

My friend, who asked if I could take Theo in the first place and has been my "foster counselor," recently found a different foster home for him. After thinking about it for a little while, I feel this would be better for him and Luna. The foster home he'll be going to has two kittens his own age and a couple other cats, as well as a large outdoor cattery/cat-proofed yard. The foster dad has had experience working with shy kittens before, and has adopted a few of his own. He says that he'll work on making Theo adoptable, but if the little guy never finds a home then he can stay with him and his resident cats. So, I am excited and think despite the change and adjustment, this will be much better for Theo overall; he won't be cooped up in one area of my apartment anymore. I think he will adapt, because he started bonding with my sister just by her sitting with him a couple hours for a few days when he was sick. (He went from hanging out in the bathtub away from her to rubbing on her chair legs and letting her pet him.) So, I have hope he'll get to know this new caretaker and his other cats. Of course, if something were to happen and he couldn't stay there, my door would always be open to him... but I'm very hopeful at this point in time.

I'll let anyone who's still following this months-long thread  how it goes after Monday, which is when my friend and I are taking him to his new foster parent...

I am hoping the best for Theo.  You have worked so hard with him.  Please update on Monday.

Hey, thanks so much ShadowsRescue. It was hard to let him go... The guy seemed really nice and had worked with the foster organization I am currently working with. I went with my friend who got me to foster Theo... He had a lot of cats, including some that had been strays. But his house was immaculate, and the cats had free range to go inside or outside whenever they wanted (except the kittens, who are restricted to indoors only at night). Outside was entirely fenced in, and he had built multiple cat houses, cat sun rooms, cat bridges, etc. into the trees and around his house. Every cat house had heated beds (because some of the more feral ones just stay outside all the time) and he'd turned a greenhouse into another cat sunning area with a built-in thermostat that kicked on fans whenever it got too warm. Everything was clean and well thought out; it was sort of a cat sanctuary. His cats had all been to the vets and get check-ups, so it seemed like a safe place. I was nervous at the size of it, and the fact that he let Theo out into the main room rather than doing a slower introduction. There was only one other cat in there at the time, and Theo just scooted to a corner and stayed crouched down. There were a couple of plants I was concerned about that I know can cause burning of the mouth/oral irritation or even vomiting if eaten (ever since Luna ate a daylily I've been paranoid about plants and cats) but they were up on stands so hopefully won't be a problem, and I tell myself that many, MANY people live with plants that are not cat compatible and never have problems, but I hated not being able to make that decision...

I think once Theo calms down, it will be great for him. I just worry about him fitting in, or losing his way in such a big area. He's going to be confined with the other two kittens to the study overnight, and I was promised I would get updates... It's just hard not knowing for sure, and not being able to control everything the way I would want to. I left him with his favorite toys, so maybe that will give him something scent based to help him transition? I don't know.

It's strange not having him here too. I'm still in the habit of shutting the bathroom door sometimes, or checking under the baseboard heater to make sure a toy isn't wedged under there. I feel relieved and a little tense, sad, nervous and hopeful all at the same time. I think I'm still processing everything.

Thank you again for helping me so much in this process. Everyone (Ondine, Kittychick, Ruaryx, Juliesbaby), thank you for all your advice, comments, and encouragement; I would have been in the dark without them! You guys are great and being able to talk to people like you was why I joined this site.

I will add more updates as I hear them...

I will be thinking about Theo and hoping he adjusts quickly.  He might do really well with the kittens as it might give him some confidence.  You did a great job with him and now he is on to a bright future.  I would love to hear updates as you receive them.

ShadowsRescue said:

 
He might do really well with the kittens as it might give him some confidence.

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That's what I'm hoping for too. Seeing how "outgoing" he was with Luna and how quickly he got to that point makes me hopeful...

Thanks for your kind words.

I think that this sounds like the best solution for all. I know it'll be hard to see Theo go, but it sounds like you could be in for an uphill battle if you tried to keep him. Thank goodness he's got a wonderful place to go with someone who "gets" cats!!!! I don't know if you've read any of my postings before - but last year we went through hell with a foster we fell in love with. His name was Olaf, and he'd been born without third eyelids. He was a tiny cross-eyed thing (which had nothing to do with the third eyelid interestingly enough!) who couldn't completely close his eyes, so he was in constant pain. Our shelter raised the money to get him the surgery - and my husband and I brought him home and nursed him back to health. It was a really rough surgery (they took grafts from each corner of his mouth and grafted them onto his eyes!!!!!) and horribly recovery - but he was just the most amazing cat we'd ever had. UNTIL he got totally healthy, AND I made the mistake of introducing him too quickly to our permanent indoor "crew." I know just what you mean about the "takedown" --- Olaf would wait (and of course he was the most aggressive with one of our oldest - an 18 1/2 year old with kidney failure who's a quiet thing) for Ally, then leap at her with claws geared and fangs ready for chomping. He would chase her - very aggressively - through the house - and when he caught her it got worse. We worked with it, and worked with it, and finally had to admit he was a foster who had to find another home.

Horribly tough decision - but we've visited him several times since last fall - and he's VERY VERY happy! It turned out to be the best thing ever to "kick him out."

So - like our situation - it kinda is the best of both worlds in that you don't have him on "kitty kill patrol" at your place, but you do get to watch him grow and thrive, and hear all the fun stuff he's doing! 

So keep us posted - you're doing the right thing 100%

No, I hadn't seen that (still relatively new to the forum). That sounds like the whole situation was really tough! Poor little boy: I think that's awesome you guys did all that to help him live a good life. (And of course he'd go after the 18 year old, right? Easy prey, I suppose.) I'm glad it worked out so well in the end. My friend thought this would be the best solution too; I found out she wasn't sure what we'd do with him down the road because she didn't think he was quite ready for adoption. Assuming he settles in fine, this would be a great place for him. I think he'll find his way.

I am writing a card for the gentleman who took Theo in today (a little late, but I got super busy this week)... I haven't heard anything yet but I'm not in direct contact with him. I'd hear any news from my friend after he passed it on to her.

Oh, and I just wanted to add: people like you and ShadowsRescue (who's feral blog I've been reading), the people who've helped me on this thread and ALL the others on here who have joined a forum to improve their cats' lives and are going above and beyond for these critters really give me hope. I work at a locally owned pet-store that is very pet (rather than profit) oriented and I had a horrible experience with a customer who was the exact opposite of the people I've met on this forum. You guys are the best.

Okay, I'll stop gushing now.   

I hope when you hear news of Theo you come back and let us know.  I do believe he will find his way.  His life has been improved so much by the love and care you gave to him. 

This is a fantastic forum with such wonderfully kind and compassionate individuals. 

My blog is a work in progress! 

Thank you - you made my day!!!! This is why I love doing it (that AND getting info that helps ME) ---- but I love passing along what I've learned through 30 years of long hard-fought fostering and feral caring-for!

I'm thinking about starting a blog...am I crazy? I want to write about some things I don't deal with on this forum - - like our feral we took in this summer and what a truly amazing being she is...how she heals us mentally daily!

Thoughts Shadows Rescue - since you've seen me post? Am I an idiot to tackle that - or should I just stick to answering questions on the forum randomly?

And thanks again Coneja - we're all here for you!

kittychick said:

 
Thank you - you made my day!!!! This is why I love doing it (that AND getting info that helps ME) ---- but I love passing along what I've learned through 30 years of long hard-fought fostering and feral caring-for!

I'm thinking about starting a blog...am I crazy? I want to write about some things I don't deal with on this forum - - like our feral we took in this summer and what a truly amazing being she is...how she heals us mentally daily!

Thoughts Shadows Rescue - since you've seen me post? Am I an idiot to tackle that - or should I just stick to answering questions on the forum randomly?

And thanks again Coneja - we're all here for you!

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I did it to share my experiences with others as well as having a written account of some of the important events that happen with the ferals.  I have kept a personal journal of sorts for 3 years and it was just getting so huge.  So many friends asked me to share my experiences.  You could easily do it.  It's pretty simple to set up and you can do it as easy or hard as you want.  There are so many platforms that are free and some that cost depending on what you want. 

Give it a try, you can put into it whatever you want.  I love that I have much of my info on my cats all in one place.  I have so much to add and think about it now daily.  If I help just one person then it is all worth it.  I just love having it all in one place!

Can I message just you (not in the big ol' public forum?) to hear a little more about how you did yours? I'm the sane - I've had over a hundred fosters, multiple "failed fosters", tons of ferals ---even wildlife rehab including squirrels, coons and bunnies. I too have kept notes - and love to write on these things (not that I'm any good). So - is there any way (or even if there is, the bigger question is, are you willing to talk directly to a fellow kitty crazy person?). I ust have a feeling I'll have lots of questions since I've never done one!!!!

Let me know - 

Thanks

(and if everyone is seeing this - I'm sorry - trying to private message)

Htnaks - 

Kittychick

kittychick said:

I'm thinking about starting a blog...am I crazy? 

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Nope! It's really simple; I just made one recently that I do daily writings on. Mine's not very decorative or well laid out like ShadowsRescue, and I'm not sure how much you can do with the basic free blog but they do have sort of tutorials/info that I skipped most of. I know that for myself, I really enjoy reading about people's experiences, and I think it's cool to have pages or articles dedicated to different cats. For me, they're just fun to read, and I usually learn something from them too. Even if you don't have much or any traffic (mine's on a private setting so the world doesn't have to be subjected to my semi-sane ramblings), it's neat to have everything sort of "published". So I say go for it if you want to!

So... volunteered at a benefit auction the other night for the group that I've been working with and got some second hand news from my friend... I guess Theo's still adjusting. He's hiding under their bed a lot apparently and my friend tells me the couple is going to concentrate on working with him. Then we both talked about how we thought it would have been better to do a slow introduction.   I told her that he's always welcome to come back -although I don't know how well that would work with Luna- and she said they were determined to work with him until he came around.

Not exactly the news I was hoping for, and I can't help but feel a bit sad over it. I hope things get better soon...

(On a personal note---thanks for the blog encouragement!)

You're totally right...slow introductions never hurt and almost always make a big difference. But even without one, things can change. It was a slow haul for him with you, but he learned to trust (I'm sure if he had been your only feline you'd still have him!) and he will at the new place eventually if they keep working with him. Will they let you contact & offer suggestions? I know that can be touchy sometimes

I think is it a wonderful sign that they want to work with him.  Many others wouldn't want to, not understanding how disoriented he might be in the new situation.  You did good!