My spouse's cat attacked me for no reason!!

bonepicker - the litter box is not in the bedroom, it's in the front room by the sliding glass door and windows.  Also, the sliding door is left partially open while the screen is still shut so that air can flow through the apartment.  We do not keep the litter box in the bedroom because this cat has some seriously pungent feces going on, even if he hasn't eaten yet.

pinkdagger - my SO refuses to do anything about the situation claims the cat is fine and there's nothing wrong with him.  I've been noticing strange behavioral patterns for the last three weeks such as, he usually (regardless of my feelings toward the feline species) has no problem being out and about while his owner is away and considering that she was home yesterday for the majority of the day and he was out wandering around, confuses me.  As soon as she left, he hid.  I haven't done anything to the cat whatsoever.  He lays on top of a few tubs that are stacked in the corner of the living room and lounges like the lazy house cat he is and that's fine with me.  But recently over the last three weeks, I've noticed he has been agitated and nervous, whether she's home or not.  The smallest noises startle him and he runs under the sofa. 

He has also been opening the cupboard where the garbage can is kept.  He doesn't get into the trash that I'm aware of, or if he does, there's no evidence because there's never a mess, but he opens that cupboard several times daily.  We take our trash out in the morning and evening and throughout the day, there really isn't much in there so we re-use shopping bags as trash bags because of the small amount of garbage (it's just the two of us).

The other thing I noticed is that he gets irritated when I sit next to my SO on the sofa.  He will stare at me while I'm watching a movie with her and wait for me to get up to use the bathroom and stretch himself along the remaining free space of the sofa and will not move whatsoever.  Doesn't exactly help that she doesn't make him move, instead I have a choice of standing or sitting on the floor.  I have a bad back courtesy of a former job and lifting slot machines (not great for the back, let me tell ya) so sitting on the floor is something that I can't do comfortably and standing for long periods of time doesn't help with my back pain either.

I do not have insurance, as it is, our power may be getting shut off because she has missed several days of work affecting her paycheck drastically and I have had terrible luck finding a job myself (hard to believe living in a city, but it's true). 

I moved from a small city to a big city and spent 2 months job hunting without any success, and not a single call, whereas back home I got a call the same day I applied for a job. Cities are saturated with people so what jobs are available are scooped up quickly - trust me when I say I know that pain.

As long as he's not aggressive with her, maybe try asking her to gently make room for you. I came into a relationship where my boyfriend had his cat for 6 years before meeting me (and he was a gift from his ex - I had to work my mind around the fact that he was with me, not the representation of his ex in my head) and his cat is very, very territorial of him. Fortunately I didn't have to ask, but if his cat - who I now consider mine as well - is in the way of us spending time together or me being comfortable in general, the boyfriend will gently curl him into a ball so he still gets to stay in the same spot and nearby, but he makes space for me. Alternatively, he'll scoop him up and plop him on his lap, or sometimes mine. The cat isn't as trusting of me as my boyfriend understandably, so there are times when he swats at me for trying to move him or pet him when he doesn't feel like being pet by my specifically, so I need to back off sometimes.

I don't want to push this from an issue with the cat to the details of your relationship, but I think you need to discuss the concerns you have over the cat. Don't turn it into a blame game, don't turn it into a game of "you _____" where it sounds accusatory. It'll just make both of you angry. Sounds cliche, but just tell her, "I feel _____ when you ____" or "when the cat ____", or "I would appreciate it if you _____ when the cat ______". Instead of saying why the cat is an inconvenience, convey it as concern for the cat's well being. As a pet owner, this will hit closer to her heart than hearing that her cat is a pain in your rear.

You may not be a cat lover specifically, but many people have a caring side for a broad range of animals. We know you would never want to hurt the cat, even if you're not buddy-buddy. Let her know you're worried about the cat because he's acting out, because he's showing the same symptoms as the previous cat, that these are indicative of pain or health problems that the cat should be seen for. Maybe go the extra step and look into local rescues - cities tend to have a few clustered in the region. Reach out to the rescues and let them know you have a situation where a cat is acting out of the ordinary and unwell, that you can't afford to have him vetted. I don't want to be overly optimistic, but if rescues have the funds, they may be willing to help cats who have a home, but not necessarily the means to provide necessities like immediate health care. If not that much, I know of a couple of individual rescuers who, while they are associated with a rescue, will donate their own time and money to help individuals who can't afford care.

the problem is that if I do anything behind her back i'm the bad guy, whether it's for the cat's wellbeing or not.  I'd rather honestly just leave altogether but I'm not going to because I'm not going to abandon my marriage.  She needs to understand I married her, not her cat. 

I don't know what else to do in this situation....She only had the cat for a week before we first met and I was introduced to him and the brother within the first three weeks of her having them.  So he knows who I am, he's been around me.  He was around me for three consecutive years and didn't do any of this.

I've tried expressing my feelings in such a way as to not make it sound as though blame was being placed, but simply to communicate that I'm unhappy with the cat's behavior and think that it needs to be adjusted if at all possible and I get the response "You shouldn't______" or "It's your fault for___________" and (my favorite) "maybe if you would just (insert inappropriate word choice here)_______________" and last but not least "You need to stop picking on my cat, you just ________________ about ___________"

Having the litter box next to a window / open door will stress out a cat especially if there are other cats outside he could be thinking he was going to get attacked whist using the litter box, that could be why he is choosing to mess elsewhere.

Honestly the chances of you catching anything from a cats saliva are very rare especially if he is up to date with vaccines and has regular flea/worm treatments, that's why it would be much riskier to be bit/scratched by a feral cat. Having said that as mentioned elsewhere there is still a risk (albeit small), if you can't get a medic to look at this I suggest going to your local pharmacy, ask the pharmacist for a suggestion. I don't know how helpful you find them where you are? But in the UK they would at least tell you if it looked cellulitic and you needed to go to a medical centre, otherwise they would put your mind a rest/ offer a solution to make you feel more comfortable!

Update on the situation: My SO came home tonight (no more house sitting) and he greeted her then proceeded to rub against my leg as if we were best friends.  She had already been made aware of the situation and seen my hand and arms before entering our apartment.  I'm still skeptical of the cat's behavior mind you. 

Anyways, she went to pet him as he rubbed against her leg and he growled at her, swatted and showed teeth (without actually hissing).  From what I (now) understand, this has been going on since before I moved back in with my SO, except the vicious attacks.  He hasn't attacked her in quite the manner that he has attacked me but we've basically gotten a rather firm idea of where his behavior is stemming from and that is the neighbor's cat because she leaves her two cats out and one of them is a big fat stinkin' bully and comes into our patio to pick fights.  I've chased it off a couple of times myself, but my SO's cat was actually trying to get outside tonight to look for the other cat. 

He pokes his nose through the fence and gets up on top, almost antagonizing an attack because he's not exactly the smartest cat in the world.  SOOOOOOO I told my spouse that in the event I continue to see the neighbors cats in our fenced in patio and it continues to pick on her cat resulting in him not only being aggressive toward me, but apparently my spouse (his owner) as well, I'll be placing an anonymous call to the property management first and if nothing is done after that, animal control.  I'm not going to be attacked any more because the neighbor wont keep her mean cats in her apartment.  This apartment complex specifically states in the contract that cats are to be kept indoors at all times.  My spouse's cat may hop on the fence, but stays in our patio.

Sounds like you have a plan! How's the hand? What did your SO think of your wound?

the hand is super sore, sensitive where the wound is.  It's a bit puffy in the affected area, still a bit red but not as bad as before and still somewhat itchy as well as my arm where he scratched me.  I've been getting odd colored liquid out of two of the various puncture wounds from his claws so I clean them well and make sure my hands are clean before touching them.....I'm almost out of antibiotic ointment though which is a bummer because my SO and I can't even afford to pay some of our bills this month let alone buy food.  She stockpiled cat food last month so we're good on kitty food, just not on human food.....and with how difficult it has been trying to find a job myself, I don't see us having any less of a financial struggle any time soon.....I just know if it gets infected, I'm making her pay for it....it's not my cat so I'm not paying for a doctor visit if it becomes necessary

Sounds like a doctor visit will be necessary as discoloured pus from a wound usually indicates infection, I would go to a medical centre and get some antibiotics, yes get your SO to pay! If you leave it prob could get worse and end up costing her a lot more. Good luck, let me know how you get on

it's not pus....it's a semi transparent liquid not red/clear but more of a light transparent orange....like the color you get when you mix orange with a lot of white but transparent....(I'm not describing this well, I know....I'm really bad at describing colors).  any who similar to the background color on the post where my photo and name are....but a transparent version....

that was horrible....I'm ashamed of my grammar in that last post....and my repetitiveness....I'm writing a novel and I can't even manage to use correct grammar and description in a post on the internet.... *ashamed*

Still doesn't sound very healthy!

Cats' mouths have all kinds of nasty bacteria (well, so do humans', but we rarely get bitten by humans! :lol3. Even if you don't get an infection, that bacteria can cause a lot of inflammation. I just got (accidentally) bitten, just a little bit, by one of my cats while trying to give her a pill, and my thumb swelled up and was sore for 3 days. But now it's fine. So keep an eye on your wound, keep it clean, hopefully it won't be necessary to get medical care. I've never had to seek medical care for a cat bite/scratch, so it's not always necessary. But if you see signs of a real infection you'll definitely need antibiotics.