FIP & Freya..

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this site but I thought it would be a good place to come to advice from fellow cat lovers

This is my beautiful baby snowshoe, Freya. She's just a little over a year old and she has a 96% chance of having the fatal FIP disease.

                                                                                                  .
When she was just a few months old, right after we brought her home with us--she was a present from a friend--we noticed that she had bloody stool on occasion and that she didn't like to poop inside the box. Peeing was no issue, but pooping was an activity she reserved for just outside. Now, having been a cat lover all my life I took her to the vet and they said it was some sort of bacteria count in her stomach, gave her some antibiotics and sent her home with us. A healthy, happy kitty. Now, about a month (maybe a month and a half) ago we started noticing that she began to go outside her box again, so we kept a good eye on her for any other signs that something might be wrong. That's when we noticed she was slowly getting bigger. My first thought was that she was pregnant, but that's impossible as she's an inside only cat and never exposed to unneutered males. She also started becoming obsessively clingy. If I, or my boyfriend, sat down she immediately would hop up on our lap. If we tried to put her down or relocate ourselves, she was start wailing and seek us out wherever we were, going so far as to even claw at us a little until she was picked up.

Then, over the next few days, she got even bigger. It looked like she literally swallowed a small nerf football. We took her to the vet immediately and drained her of a bright yellow, straw colored fluid that had filled her abdomen. We proceeded with several tests, ruling out FIV, Feline Leukemia, taking blood samples. The vet said it was something affecting the liver and that her tri count (I think that's what it was called) showed that she had a 96% of having FIP, but that certain diagnosis was almost completely impossible and that ultimately it was jut a process of ruling out absolutely everything else. A week after her visit the vet gave us some antibiotics for her liver in hopes of seeing if that would help, it didn't--she had what we call an "episode". She was a fine happy kitty, two hours later after returning from the store, she had done a 360. She hissed at us as if she had no idea who we were, was drooling so much that it soaked my arms when I held her, couldn't sit or stand on her own, refused food and water and was breathing extremely hard. This was over a weekend when we couldn't get her to a doctor. Luckily after 24 hours like this, she bounced back and became as close to normal as she's been since this ordeal originally started.

She's not 100% herself now, I'd say about 80%. She still loves to be held, enjoys being taken outside on her leash so she can stretch out in the sun, and was very chatty. The vet started her on a hepatic wet diet, but she's gotten so picky with food now. All she'll eat are those cups of wet Meow Mix. She spends most of her time napping, or needing to be held by us. Our vet wanted us to give her an ultra sound, but money is already so tight now because of all the money we've poured into her this last month. We had barely enough money to pay rent. Every now and then she'll have another episode, but never with that severity. She'll get extremely lethargic, drooly, and refuse to eat/drink. Freya's bloated up again. She's just as big, if not bigger than before. The vet said that the reaccumulation of fluid was another sure sign she was looking for to reconfirm our fears of fip, but still would like to do the ultra sound..

At this point, my boyfriend and I really think it's FIP. We've done so much research on the disease, spoke with our vet so much, that we're almost certain that's what she has. The vet said it wouldn't do any good to drain her of the fluid, but it would just reaccumulate quickly again and it would be like throwing our money down the drain. Freya's been wobbly, off balance, doesn't like to jump because of her weight, and spends all her time sleeping if I'm not holding her or taking her outside to play on the leash.

Where do I go from here? I made a promise to her that I'd do everything in my power to fight this with her, but I also promised that if Freya let me know she was "ready" then I'd do what was best for her. How do I know when it's time? Should I just go ahead and get the ultra sound, hope for the fluid to go back down? We've tried diuretics and it didn't help at all.. I want to hold onto her and love her, but I don't want to be selfish.. I've never had to make this sort of decision before. Every time I make myself think about the possibility of when it comes time to send her to rainbow bridge, my first thought is: "Well, if you do it then what if she would have gotten better? She trusts you to make her better and you're going to take her to a place to take a nap that'll she never wake up from."

My heart is breaking over this and I'm so confused about where to proceed. Do I continue to push through more tests? Is it time? How do I know if it is? What do I do?

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your baby.  I have no words of advice and hope someone will come along shortly to help you.

Thank you very much for your kind words. It's been a hard struggle and I just want to do what's best for her..

iiRenity said:

 
Thank you very much for your kind words. It's been a hard struggle and I just want to do what's best for her..

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It's a difficult question at a very difficult time for you and your beloved cat.  Since FIP has no cure, the question isn't about treating her towards a cure, but palliative care to keep her comfortable.  If she's eating and drinking, using the litter box and behaving fairly normally then it may not be time.  If she isn't, and or she gets a distant look in her face, or is complaining, or is lethargic, then it may be time.  Remember, she has no concept of the future, she just thinks about right now.  One question to ask yourself, do you want her life to end while she is in discomfort, or should it end on a high note?  Given that there is zero chance for a cure and a short window left (days, weeks?) one could argue that a kind way to go is to give her as fantastic a day as possible, all the treats and love, and then end it for her before she takes another turn.  But that's not the only way.

There are 3 possibilities (basically) when contemplating euthanasia:

1- You do it before its necessary (from a medical/suffering point of view).

2- You do it at just about the perfect moment.

3- You wait too long.

#1 may make you feel badly, but the cat doesn't care or know, so while possibly a negative for you, its not for the cat.

#2 can be difficult to achieve, but if you are willing to selflessly end your cat's suffering, you can achieve this.

#3 will make you feel badly and the cat will feel badly too, and you will likely live with this for a long time.

My suggestion, avoid #3 at all costs.  Give her comfort, and let it end with as much dignity as circumstances allow.  If my future (unknown to me) was to die 5 days from now in great distress, or to be given a fantastic day on a beautiful windswept field with the sun on my face, and the breeze in the air, a lovely picnic with my loved ones and then take a nap and never wake up, well I know which one I'd pick.  How about you?

Be selfless and love her.  You obviously care, and all our hearts are with you at this very difficult time.

Thank you very much for your response. It kind of made me reflect and think about what "stage" my baby is in.

I think from what you've told me she's not quite there, but she's starting to fall into the #2 category.. She still absolutely loves going outside to nap in the sun and usually seems to be excited come food time. However, the rest of the day she does look rather lethargic. She used to purr so loud we could hear her from the other room, now when she purrs it's very weak and only when being held in our laps. I have noticed that she does have that distant sort of look on ocassion. That mile long stare as if we're not quite in the room until we start touching her..

I think what we're going to do is this final ultra sound, just to be positive that it is what it is. If it is we're going to have to seriously start discussing about it. We believe it's going to be a bad winter here and we're worried that the cold temperatures, should the electricity go out this year, would like be lethal to her since she's not as able to care for herself as the other cats are.

Thank you again for your response.. It's hard medicine to swallow, but this isn't about me, it's about her.

iiRenity said:

 
Thank you very much for your response. It kind of made me reflect and think about what "stage" my baby is in.

I think from what you've told me she's not quite there, but she's starting to fall into the #2 category.. She still absolutely loves going outside to nap in the sun and usually seems to be excited come food time. However, the rest of the day she does look rather lethargic. She used to purr so loud we could hear her from the other room, now when she purrs it's very weak and only when being held in our laps. I have noticed that she does have that distant sort of look on ocassion. That mile long stare as if we're not quite in the room until we start touching her..

I think what we're going to do is this final ultra sound, just to be positive that it is what it is. If it is we're going to have to seriously start discussing about it. We believe it's going to be a bad winter here and we're worried that the cold temperatures, should the electricity go out this year, would like be lethal to her since she's not as able to care for herself as the other cats are.

Thank you again for your response.. It's hard medicine to swallow, but this isn't about me, it's about her.

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It does sound like you are approaching #2, or you could be there now, its a very personal decision that no one can make for you.   One more thing to think about, how do you wish to remember her last days?  What would you like to be able to say about them a year from now?

Also while I'm not arguing against the ultrasound, it sounds like this is definitively FIP based on what you have described.

I agree. We're almost positive that she has FIP ourselves, but this is the last step our vet has asked us to take to be sure that this isn't some sort of liver disease that could be treated. She's worked very hard trying to diagnose our baby and make her well. She's given us free prescription foods, free medicines to try, consults with a specialist and then us weekly. I think the Ultra Sound is the last step to confirming what we know and I think once I have it I'll be able to have closure knowing I did everything I can. Otherwise, I'd always have been wondering "Well, what if we HAD did the ultra sound! Maybe that could have shown something up and we could have saved her!". This way I can stop those thoughts in their tracks and give Freya exactly what she needs without giving myself excuses to prolong her pain.

I understand.

I went through exactly the same thing you are earlier this year. One of our rescues developed the dry form of FIP. We did EVERYTHING possible to give her a chance (there is an experimental medication that can be used to treat the DRY form of FIP.) G made it 14 weeks after her diagnosis. The Friday before we PTS, we had bloodwork done (we were doing this every 2 wks) and the results showed she was progressing. Over the weekend, I noticed the belly swelling and her voice changed...at this point I knew she had "converted" to the wet form (like Freya.) I took her back to the vet on Tues to do bloodwork, basically to confirm what I already knew. Her labs were worse than the preceding Friday. I opted to PTS that day. I think we did it before she was in pain and I knew we had done everything for her. While it was an absolute sad day, I had peace knowing I didn't regret what we had done for her.

I hope you can find peace and comfort knowing you have done everything you could for Freya. It sounds like you and your vet are an excellent team for her!

My love and prayers are with you and your beautiful baby. Best wishes for the future no matter how long or short of time you have with her.

Thank you everyone for your support and comments. After Freya had another bad episode yesterday, my boyfriend and I decided that it was time.. We're going to send her to rainbow bridge this month, either the 13th or 28th, depending on how our paychecks fair. I was wanting to do an at home euthanasia, but our vet doesn't provide that service because she worries that if complications arise she wouldn't be able to help her outside of her usual medical setting. Is there anyway, when it comes time, I can make this as peaceful for her and us as possible? I want to be with her as it's happening, but I'm afraid I won't be able able to control my emotions and I don't want to upset Freya as she already tends to cry and freak out during vet visits. I was planning on bringing her favorite blanket so she's more at ease...

I'm so very sorry you're going through this. I cannot offer any help regarding FIP. I had to put my sweet Shizu down back in Jan and it was the hardest decision I had ever made. But it came down to her quality of life and my fear of waiting too long & putting her through more suffering. She had jaw cancer that appeared suddenly 1 day. 3 weeks later, she was gone. She was still eating, going to the bathroom & all, so it was hard to decide. But she did start to get a little skinny & just seemed kinda sad. We were going to bring her on a Sat, but when I visited on the Wed before, I just couldn't take seeing her like that anymore. We brought her that night. Poor thing got so scared at the vet that she started running through the room! It was a funny last memory of her. To me, I'd rather have decided too soon than too late. I send you many hugs & vibes!   

iiRenity said:

 
Thank you everyone for your support and comments. After Freya had another bad episode yesterday, my boyfriend and I decided that it was time.. We're going to send her to rainbow bridge this month, either the 13th or 28th, depending on how our paychecks fair. I was wanting to do an at home euthanasia, but our vet doesn't provide that service because she worries that if complications arise she wouldn't be able to help her outside of her usual medical setting. Is there anyway, when it comes time, I can make this as peaceful for her and us as possible? I want to be with her as it's happening, but I'm afraid I won't be able able to control my emotions and I don't want to upset Freya as she already tends to cry and freak out during vet visits. I was planning on bringing her favorite blanket so she's more at ease...

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It will be very peaceful for her, and its ok if you are emotional.  Bring the blanket and give her hugs.  You can request a hair clipping if you want one, and many offer a paw print in clay that can be fired.

It really breaks my heart hearing stories about saying or about to say goodbye to our beloved pets. ( I'm soo sorry you've had to experience that. I totally understand what your feeling right now. If only I have Magic, that can save cats/animals with diseases or in trouble I'd be more than glad to help and get them out from discomfort. All the best for you and dear freya. :'(

I spoiled my Shizu rotten during those last few days. She had a hard time eating b/c of her jaw, so I made her meals of mushed up treats & tuna. Basically, I let her eat whatever she wanted. I was an emotional wreck that day, but its expected. I held her in my arms during the procedure & I also got a paw cast. 

I had to make the hard decision of letting my 4 1/2 yr old Poppy go to the rainbow bridge in 08/13.  He had dry FIP.  He went blind in one eye, he was super bloated, could barely walk & just looked so sad & miserable.  The vet had said that dry FIP could travel throughout his body & start attacking organs.  After 2 months of watching him deteriorate (from the time he first showed symptoms) and days of struggling with the decision of when to let him go, I decided I didn't want to wait for him to get worse & suffer anymore.  It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make.  The vet suggested I donate his body to help finding a cure for FIP.  That was comforting.

I'm so sorry your baby Freya got FIP.  HUGS

I'm sorry to hear about this, as well. On Sept 24 of this year, I suddenly and shockingly lost my healthy boy, Kevin, only 61/2 yrs old.  Seeing his belly swell horizontally (like you said....swallowed a nerf ball), when I finally saw him unable to jump on the bed as he did 100 times a day, I brought him in.

The x ray showed fluid leaking into his belly and chest. When they drained his chest and saw the yellow foamy liquid, my vet said it could only be 2 things.......either heart valve failure or FIP.....he sent me to a specialist to do high tech liver, heart and FIP tests. As we suspected (and dreaded), the most likely cause of the yellow foamy liquid into his belly and his chest was damn FIP.

He lasted another 5 days after his chest was drained until he simply just wouldn't eat or drink anymore...I couldn't stand him suffering any longer. I am still in shock and still feels surreal and unbelievably sad. A horrible way to go......and no known cause (we just have to assume he had this in utero as I have no idea where he came from, I got him from Shelter at 5 mos...) and no cure or medicine, nothing....nothing.........

Horrible.  I don't know what to do about this horrible disease, it seems like there is nothing we can do.

@TripletK- I know how you feel. My heart is still absolutely broken over what happened. Freya and I fought it as long as we absolutely could, but she started letting me know she was tired of struggling with the pain. She stopped being able to jump as much, like you said, and ultimately relied on me to help her up to her favorite places. She had lost so much weight, too... She was only five pounds after being drained and when we took her for her final check up, to help me decide if it was truly time, she was ten pounds. She had gained five pounds of nothing but pure fluid and the vet said that even if we drained it'd likely be back in days; and that if we just left her be, the only place for the fluid to continue to go was to her lungs. Freya was also having "episodes" in which she was drool, fail to recognize anyone but me, and had that 50 mile long stare. The vet attributed this to seizures, which we eventually would catch her having. My boyfriend and I promised that when Freya starts to go down in quality of life that we would stop her suffering and we did.. We sat in the room and craddled her in her favorite blanket the entire time. It was very peaceful, just like falling asleep. It was less than 30 seconds before she passed. In fact, I strongly believe that she passed during the sedation before she even did the euthanasia injection. The only thing that kept me together was having Freya personally cremated and returned to me, as well as having taken an obsessive amount of video and pictures of her so I could always remember her. I'm sorry you're hurting, I'm hurting right there with you. FIP is an absolute monster.