Male vs Female Kittens/Cats behavior

I recently adopted two kittens from the shelter September 14, 2014. I adopted an eight month old ginger male tabby (Milo) and a five month old medium hair black female kitten (Shadow Breeze).

Although these two kittens are from different litters and different parents they really have become close friends, actually within two days of my adopting them.

My questions are related to my male kitten's, Milo, behavior. Milo:
* licks my female kitten's privates,
* he bites her on the back of her neck,
* when I feed them canned food twice a day, Milo will eat his food very fast (mind you he gets 2/3 of the can of Fancy Feast) and then goes over and eats Shadow's food. She will stop eating and leave, or eat her dry food
* they both have their own litter boxes, but Milo will use his own litter box and he will also use shadow's litter box.

Is this normal behavior for a tomcat? Both kitten's are fixed, he's neutered and she is spayed so why is he behaving like this? And should I be concerned?

It actually sounds like dominance behavior to me. The biting her neck and taking her food (and her letting him), then using her box sounds like they're establishing that he outranks her. Since they're both spayed/neutered I wouldn't worry too much unless she's not getting enough food or he's hurting her. Cats are very particular about their pecking orders, so if they both seem alright with it, I wouldn't worry.

Thanks Ms Freya, that helps me to not worry.

Reminds me of day three with the kitties. Shadow went into Milo's room and took his fuzzy feather ball. She ran around playing with it and then would get in his face and hiss. She did it several times. Later that night Milo got the toy and played with it. Then I heard this low rumble growl almost like a lion's roar...Milo was running up to Shadow with the toy and would growl at her. This went on for several days. He wouldn't growl to me, but when Shadow appeared he would growl. Now two weeks later I see him allowing her to play with the toy, but he still maintains dominance over it, even to the point of washing it daily in his water bowl.

I've experienced the same thing between my cats Charlie and Jet when they were younger. He would do the exact same thing Milo is doing to Shadow. 

They will eventually settle all between themselves, because now that Charlie and Jet are both over a year old, this behavior does not happen anymore or that much.

Since Milo is asserting his dominance, and Shadow is accepting, you should do the same. Ways in which you can show Milo he's the boss:

1) always put his food bowl down first, and then give Shadow her food.

2) always acknowledge Milo first when coming home, entering a room, etc. and then greet Shadow.

3) when giving treats, Milo gets first treats.

etc. 

In regards to the issues i've had with Charlie eating Jet's food, I would separate the cats when feeding them. Charlie would get his food in one corner of the room, and Jet would get her food in another corner of the room. I sometimes would make them face the wall while they are separated and eating, because that way they only focus on the food, and no what the other cat is doing/eating. It helps.

Good luck!! 

I agree that it sounds like dominance and, as long as long as no one is getting hurt or traumatized, let them work it out themselves. Don't make assumptions based upon age, relative size, or tenure in your house (as an example my recent addition who is literally half the size of Kitty 1 quickly established herself as the dominant cat)--observe, and follow the cats' lead. And be aware that it can be subject to change.

I second the idea of feeding them separately. This works best when the lower ranking cat has somewhere where he/she can go but that the dominant cat either can't or doesn't like to go (for example, my parents feed their second cat on a counter that is too high for the senior alpha cat to easily reach). In the absence of that, feeding them at separate ends of the kitchen can be effective. My kitties have gotten used to going to their respective corners for food and that gives Ciaran enough time to eat his fill before Kitty 2 comes over to investigate.

A note on the licking behavior: this may be less dominance-related (though a dominant cat is probably more confident with approaching another cat to initiate it). Cats have scent glands under their tails so inspecting this area is a form of communication.

Yes,

I agree with everyone above about it being normal dominance behavior. The only thing that I would intervene with is the canned wet food. It's very important for cats to have some wet food in their diet. Cats do not drink enough water to stay hydrated and must get water with their meals. Dry food has very little moisture and that's why wet food is recommended. If your girl cat does not get her fair share of wet food and can only eat dry, this can cause problems sooner or later in life such as:

• Chronic dehydration
• Urinary crystals/blockages
• Urinary Tract Infections
• Organ damage

My male cat is the same way with food. He inhales it and tries to eat my little female's food and she would let him. I would (and do) absolutely feed the cats the wet food in 2 separate bowls (one for each cat) and stand near your girl until she finishes her meal. Both kitties will be much healthier if they get some (if not ALL) wet food in their diet. 

Agree with abby2932

When u start feeding them and implement feeding them in separate areas from one another, u need to watch and make sure each cat finishes it's food and one is not being bullied for food. I had to sit and watch my cats for a while. Now I don't worry. They are worried about their own food, and they both take their time and slowly finish their meals.

An interesting fact:  And working in a vets office, I find this is more true than people even realize... Cats (and dogs) that are fixed, especially males, it doesn't mean they lose their urge.  Some can even still achieve the act!  I had a tom once that was neutered and was actually able to penetrate my fixed girl once.  I know this for a fact because she did the scream, slap, and flop on the floor and he had an obvious happy place.  It freaked me out but my vet assured me they couldn't produce kittens any longer... But, it doesn't mean they lose the urge. 

Most of the time, they can't any longer after being fixed, but it doesn't mean they don't enjoy the smell and taste of the other sex's region.  So they can still be interested.  It's rare but sometimes they can even still achieve the act.  Just an interesting FYI for you!

Thanks for the feeding tips. I have actually started feeding her in my office with the door closed so she gets some wet food. I always feed Milo first. Their food is on the counter, today I fed Shadow on the floor and she actually ate most of her wet food. They have two water bowls and a cat fountain, so Shadow is getting a good amount of water.

P3 and The King said:

An interesting fact:  And working in a vets office, I find this is more true than people even realize... Cats (and dogs) that are fixed, especially males, it doesn't mean they lose their urge.  Some can even still achieve the act!  I had a tom once that was neutered and was actually able to penetrate my fixed girl once.  I know this for a fact because she did the scream, slap, and flop on the floor and he had an obvious happy place.  It freaked me out but my vet assured me they couldn't produce kittens any longer... But, it doesn't mean they lose the urge. 

Most of the time, they can't any longer after being fixed, but it doesn't mean they don't enjoy the smell and taste of the other sex's region.  So they can still be interested.  It's rare but sometimes they can even still achieve the act.  Just an interesting FYI for you!

Click to expand...

Wow...no words, just wow

That's true. Happened with my Charlie and Jet too. He would mount her and try to hump her but was never successful. Although I'm not sure he did it out of being aroused or because it was aggression driven, but I did see his penis out one time. He doesn't try to mount her anymore though. Do a quick Google search, and you will see more instances about this. Apparently it's quite common for fixed cats to be aroused and to pleasure themselves, similar to how some dogs hump legs or teddy bears. But understand that just because it's common it doesn't mean that all fixed cats do this.