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- Jan 3, 2014
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I don't think I can write this without crying. I apologize if this post is all over the place. I need somewhere to vent, possibly share stories with others who have lost their beloved kitties to FIP.
Yesterday I got a call from the vet saying my sweet Chai had passed away from FIP. I didn't want to believe it....it just didn't seem real. She seemed fine until Sunday when I noticed she wouldn't eat and was very lethargic. I took her to the vet thefollowing morning (Monday) and was told she had a fever. They gave her antibiotics for the fever and fluids for her dehydration. She had blood work done and her FLV and FIV came back negative. They also tested her for FIP but I had to wait awhile to get the results. I figured it would come back negative, mainly because I didn't want to think worst case scenario, you know? I was told she would need to stay overnight because her kidneys were failing so I went to visit her later that day. She seemed pretty normal to me, so I wasn't too worried. Well, I was worried about her kidney failure but I figured she was in good hands and the vet could make her better. Our other cat nearly died from kidney failure earlier this year (urinary blockage) and I lost my childhood cat of 16 years a couple months back so I thought, lightning doesn't strike twice right? I'm so glad I got to visit her at the hospital. I cuddled her, kissed her, and let my son see her one last time. I even left her cat carrier there because I assumed I would be back later to take her home.
Very early in the morning the next day (Tuesday), I received a call from the vet telling me Chai had passed away. I said "wait, what...no!" I thought they were mistaken. She was only five years old, the first fur baby we ever adopted...this couldn't be! Her temp was low that morning so they put her in the warmer. Shortly thereafter, she passed. I was told her tests indicated she was positive for FIP. I kept thinking it was my fault, that I should have done something sooner. How could I have missed the signs? She seemed fine until a few days ago, other than a couple of nonspecific, seemingly harmless symptoms. I went to visit her body yesterday and it was so horrible seeing her lying on that table lifeless. I brought her favorite blanket, which she will be cremated with. The vet said there was nothing he or I could have done. FIP is a fatal disease and there's nothing I could have done to prevent it. I was told it's likely she contracted the virus in utero and then it later mutated into FIP. I cannot even describe how much pain and guilt I feel after her death. Even though I know it's not rational, I can't help but blame myself. I keep thinking, surely there's something I could have done. I feel like I don't have enough pictures of her. I feel guilty she had been getting less attention lately since we just had our second child this year. I can't help but think, did she die knowing how much I loved her, that I only wanted the best for her? Did she die peacefully? The expression frozen on her face makes methink otherwise. Her once gorgeous icy blue eyes were now gray and empty. She's gone and I'll never have another cat like her. She was so darn quirky, chatty, and so full of life. I will always miss and love her so very much.
Yesterday I got a call from the vet saying my sweet Chai had passed away from FIP. I didn't want to believe it....it just didn't seem real. She seemed fine until Sunday when I noticed she wouldn't eat and was very lethargic. I took her to the vet thefollowing morning (Monday) and was told she had a fever. They gave her antibiotics for the fever and fluids for her dehydration. She had blood work done and her FLV and FIV came back negative. They also tested her for FIP but I had to wait awhile to get the results. I figured it would come back negative, mainly because I didn't want to think worst case scenario, you know? I was told she would need to stay overnight because her kidneys were failing so I went to visit her later that day. She seemed pretty normal to me, so I wasn't too worried. Well, I was worried about her kidney failure but I figured she was in good hands and the vet could make her better. Our other cat nearly died from kidney failure earlier this year (urinary blockage) and I lost my childhood cat of 16 years a couple months back so I thought, lightning doesn't strike twice right? I'm so glad I got to visit her at the hospital. I cuddled her, kissed her, and let my son see her one last time. I even left her cat carrier there because I assumed I would be back later to take her home.
Very early in the morning the next day (Tuesday), I received a call from the vet telling me Chai had passed away. I said "wait, what...no!" I thought they were mistaken. She was only five years old, the first fur baby we ever adopted...this couldn't be! Her temp was low that morning so they put her in the warmer. Shortly thereafter, she passed. I was told her tests indicated she was positive for FIP. I kept thinking it was my fault, that I should have done something sooner. How could I have missed the signs? She seemed fine until a few days ago, other than a couple of nonspecific, seemingly harmless symptoms. I went to visit her body yesterday and it was so horrible seeing her lying on that table lifeless. I brought her favorite blanket, which she will be cremated with. The vet said there was nothing he or I could have done. FIP is a fatal disease and there's nothing I could have done to prevent it. I was told it's likely she contracted the virus in utero and then it later mutated into FIP. I cannot even describe how much pain and guilt I feel after her death. Even though I know it's not rational, I can't help but blame myself. I keep thinking, surely there's something I could have done. I feel like I don't have enough pictures of her. I feel guilty she had been getting less attention lately since we just had our second child this year. I can't help but think, did she die knowing how much I loved her, that I only wanted the best for her? Did she die peacefully? The expression frozen on her face makes methink otherwise. Her once gorgeous icy blue eyes were now gray and empty. She's gone and I'll never have another cat like her. She was so darn quirky, chatty, and so full of life. I will always miss and love her so very much.
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Chai surely knew how much you loved her and that you would have given anything to still have her by your side. 
