Female Calico - Needing Advice/Help With Her.

My Calico's name is Honey. She started out very sweet like Honey (hence her name). She is about  1 1/2 years old.  She ended up with a litter of kittens March 8th 2014 and did the NORMAL "protective momma cat" thing. Once the kittens were weaned, she was spaded. The problem is she had that litter almost 7 months ago and she is still acting like a "protective momma cat" and has gotten worse with her aggression over that past few months-- she has none of her own kittens here. She is mean to all other cats now and was never like that before the kittens were born. How can I get her to calm back down?

She is an indoor/outdoor cat... but has gotten to the point she wants to be outside almost all the time. We live in the country and only one neighbor close by.  Since August she has gotten wilder... she's running off and I have to go out to look for her every night to get her to come in to eat, settle down then off to bed/sleep. Although we live in the country there is a state highway in front of the house with quite a bit of traffic... and yes lately she has been running across that highway and she's NEVER done that before (again that started in August of this year).   If I keep her in the house for very long she starts getting more angry - even towards me.

Tonight when I brought her inside she started bulling me and the other two cats - and I had to scold her very very hard to get her to calm back down. Scolding her hard works but I am sick of doing that as well as hate having to scold her for her actions but I cannot allow her to bully (scratch) me and the other cats.

So here is what I need help/advice with:

1. Her growing aggression towards other animals (especially other cats) and this behavior started right after her kittens were born 7 months ago and she's getting worse. She's odd: She goes from very sweet to very aggressive with me  and she's pretty much staying aggressive towards other animals these days. The ONLY animal she gets along with most of the time is her "sister" Nut. (But Honey will get aggressive with Nut at times too).

2. Her running off all the time. She goes "crazy" if I'm awake and she can't go outside (while I'm asleep she will sleep with me and acts sweet and loving) - as soon as I'm awake she becomes a "wild" cat and wants back outside and will sometimes get aggressive with me if I don't let her outside. Once she's back outside she starts running off - even across the state highway (traffic worries me).

One more note on her: the vet says she's healthy.

So do I let her stay outside when she wants to be out (even with that state highway she crosses) OR should I make her stay indoors and put up with her aggression towards me and the other cats? Is there any way stop or at least curb her aggression?

Thanks in advance.

When you say "scold her hard" what do you mean? Is it physical punishment? Time out? 

NOT physical punishment.... it's me fussing loudly at her (she will cower down when I do that then she starts behaving).  I hate doing that..... but that is the only way I can get her to settle/calm down and behave. By behave I mean she quits being mean/aggressive towards the other cats and myself. After I scold (fuss very loudly) at her she'll lay down somewhere then either I go to her or she will come to me and then we "love on" each other... it's like both of us are saying "I'm sorry" to each other. But sadly, a few hours later or the next day she'll start it all over again then I have to fuss all over again.

I constantly love on her when I see her and she'll come to me wanting love when she sees me.... she's NOT being ignored nor neglected - quite the contrary she's the one with the most love and affection (because she insists on it). It's almost like she's telling the other cats "this is my momma and you can't have her".... then she sees me loving on the other cats and gets jealous and behaves badly by being aggressive towards me and the other cats (maybe I'm wrong but it seems that way).

Now her running off: She's been fixed/spaded but still doing her "shaking tail" (as if she's still trying to attract the boys).... and that might be why she's running off. 

Any advice will be helpful... I love her to damned much but she's also getting on my nerves running off (even across the highway) and being aggressive towards other animals (dogs and cats - mainly other cats).

Ah yes. This sounds like a battle of the wills. Also your girl is very good at manipulating you. And you are correct about her claiming you as hers. 

All my cats are indoor outdoor and there has been one or two who have tried to go farther from home than they should. It was more because they were young, curious teens. A loud clap of my hands and calling its name always worked for the one who was more compliant. But I am afraid to admit that the hard headed one learned to stay safe on its own. I mean, a stray dog or a person jogging, or the sudden car horn would shock the rebellious kitty to stay within the safe confines of the property. I have been lucky with no tragic incident with the wilder cat.

You need to teach your girl to come to you when called. You must be firm about what is acceptable behavior. Raising your voice may be having the opposite effect. It is not being taken seriously. Hiss when she misbehaves. Time outs for aggressive behavior might work (although I suggest you read more about this type of discipline because it might not be suited for your girl). Rewarding good behavior also helps.

Safety is the most important concern here. If your girl can't be controlled, you must consider an outdoor enclosure for her. Her need to be outside will be satisfied and she will be safe.

Oh, because I am not a veterinarian, I have no idea how long hormones settle down after sterilization. In my experience 7 months is too long but maybe it isn't unusual. Maybe your girl has not yet mellowed from the operation. Hopefully once she does, she will stop her wanderings.

She does come when I call her .... but lately she's ignoring my call about half the time then fights me to stay outside.

I also failed to mention something that maybe important (it hurts a bit to talk about it) but we did keep one of her kittens but he came up missing in August when he was only 5 months old (he was last seen playing outside with Honey's "sister" Nut)... we had a pet detective to come out and the kittens trail ended as if something grabbed him. (They think the neighbors pit bulls got loose, came over here and chased and got him -- which is very likely). But since this time Honey has started become "wilder" - She started crossing that highway when Skipper (her kitten) came up missing and seems to not listen as well (like she's deliberately ignoring me sometimes).

1. She had her kittens (March 8th 2014) - she became the normal "protective momma" -- never got out of that "protective momma" mode after the kittens were weaned. She's still aggressive towards other animals as if she's still a "protective momma"... she's very territorial now.  That's about 7 months -- seems to long to me too -- as if she should have calmed down some after weaning the kittens but she's getting more aggressive towards other animals.

2. She was fixed in either late May or early June (after the kittens were weaned).... but she is still doing her "shaking her tail to attract the boys" LOL.

3. Her 5 month old kitten, Skipper, came up missing out of the yard (he was playing with his momma's "sister" when he was last seen).  That was August 13th 2014 and since that time, Honey will go across the highway and  run to other areas as well. (Is she still looking for him?)   Maybe her going everywhere is my fault -- she saw me looking for Skipper and now she's going where I was going to find him?

Humm... now I am wondering if it's her hormones still going crazy.... her "sister" is has settled (they got spaded at the same time) but Honey seems to have gotten "wilder" and has yet to "mellow out" like Nut. And I'm wondering now if she (Honey) is just going where she saw me go to find Skipper.  I started calling her "Wild Honey" these days lol.

Thanks Yayi!! I think maybe you hit the nail on the head with her hormones....  that might be the key factor as to why she's acting this way! And I will look deeper into the "time out for cats" that may help a lot too!!