How can I love my Tortishell?

pinkdagger

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Some cats don't like being held and only like being pet on their terms. When all else fails, food and play are good bets. They both form positive associations with the feeder and playmate, which would be you.
 

p3 and the king

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How old is she?  It is said that torties have tortietude (attitude).  Of course, there is no scientific evidence that any "color" is more or less affectionate than another.  It's just an old wives tale or myth.... However, some cats are like this.  Her age, upbringing, and past can contribute.  Such as, if she was born of a stray or feral mother and raised with little to no human contact, she may be a bit standoffish.  Nurturing plays a big role, as does nature.  Some cats just don't like to be touched a lot.  They may come to you when they feel like being petted but the more you try to hold them close each time, the less they may come to you.  I suggest getting on the floor with some treats and tempting her with something yummy.  And let her pet you first (rub against your or put her paw on you).  Then just pet her once or twice, no trying to hold or hug her close.  Let her set the pace.  She may eventually sit on your lap, as long as you don't hold her too close, or she may not.  Each cat is different.  However, as a general rule, most cats do not like to be held close for a long time.  It is constricting and considered aggression to them.  But, by letting her set the pace, you can eventually make her a lap cat possibly.  Also, cats mello with age a lot.  My Piper, as a kitten and young cat, did not like to be held and was not a lap cat and not overly affectionate.... However, from about the age of 5 yrs, she has become much more affectionate and she actually enjoys being hugged for a moment and held and kissed.  She lets me know when she wants this, too.  So all hope is not lost.
 
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