Frightened new kitten

Hi all, just looking for some tips to help our new kitten settle into his new home. 

Pixel is 6 months old and has come straight from his breeder. Until yesterday he was still living with his mother. He was raised inside the house but was moved to an outside cage a couple of months ago with visits inside.

His breeder lives a couple of hours from me so we met in between yesterday. It was an awful day, my car broke down in a major way an hour from home within a few minutes of picking him up, so by the time we made it home he had been in the carrier for over 6 hours.

He spent the first 4 hours cowering at the back of the litter box, then made his way underneath my bed. He's not shown any inclination to sniff at anything or explore the space under the bed. He has been in the same spot under my bed for about 16 hours now. He didn't even move overnight when all was quiet. I've pushed the tray of food and water under the bed so he can get to it without having to expose himself, but he hasn't touched it yet.

Basically he seems petrified, and I can't really blame him.

I just got a Feliway diffuser and plugged it in about half an hour ago. If it's going to be helpful for him how long will it take? I know it will take time for him to settle in, but I'd like to minimise the stress for him and encourage him to come out and meet the family. Is there anything else I can do?

Edited to add: Should I take the wheels off the bed so it sits on the floor and he can't get underneath it? There is a cube and a wardrobe where he could hide but still be accessible if we need to get to him.

elfin said:

Edited to add: Should I take the wheels off the bed so it sits on the floor and he can't get underneath it? There is a cube and a wardrobe where he could hide but still be accessible if we need to get to him.

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No. He absolutely needs a place to hide. The good news is that it's perfectly normal behavior. He's a youngster who has just been rooted from his familiar place and placed in an unknown environment with big scary strangers. He has no idea who you are, what you want, and what will happen to him. If you were him, you'd hide too.

Leave him hiding. For the first few days, close the door to your bedroom so that it's quiet. Change his food and water as usual. Occasionally, go in the room, sit far away from the bed and don't look at him. Just read a book or play soft classical music. Talk to him quietly. You want him used to your presence and your voice. This must happen at his own pace -- you cannot force the process. The best way to minimize stress is to let him dictate the pace at which he would come out of hiding.

Gradually he may start showing cautious interest in either you or his surrounding. When that happens, let him come to you. This may be days, it may be weeks. Be patient and consistent. Let him come to you, and don't move towards him. Have a toy or two ready. Always be the one to be in the room so that he doesn't see 10 different people in a short time. The other introductions can come later. Right now since you're his caretaker, and you need to introduce yourself as such. You're the one putting down food for him.

The only thing you need to watch out for is if he's eating. He absolutely must eat something, anything, in a 24 hour period, especially since he's still so young. Litter box usage can wait a couple of days (my cat needed 3 days before he used the box). If you don't see either of those, get the vet involved immediately. Not eating is an emergency.

Has he been neutered?

Yes, he is neutered.

He hasn't eaten or drunk anything for about 28 hours. I let the vet know when I got the Feliway this morning but she's not concerned yet.

Sitting well away from the bed is tricky as I'm studying and have to spend most of my time for the next couple of days sitting on my bed. Our room is the only part of the house not infested with children and I don't have a desk. I'm more or less sitting on top of him, which I can't see him being happy about.

This is first time a cat or kitten we've adopted has reacted like this. Most of them were cautious but showed at least some interest in their surroundings. Poe didn't seem to need an adjustment period at all, he just accepted the change and went searching for the nearest lap. Having lost him so recently, it's hard not to feel that we might have made the wrong choice with Pixel, that he's not the right cat to fill the empty space in our lives. (I know that's not right, and Pixel will eventually settle in and we'll love him just as much, but you know, emotions and stuff ... )

On the positive side, our foster cat, who hated Poe and would sit giving the bedroom door death stares while he was behind it, doesn't seem at all upset at Pixel's presence in 'her' house. Hopefully that's a good sign.

It's not uncommon to compare Pixel to another cat, though that is not very fair. Every cat is different. Some cats don't need adjustment periods at all. Some other cats takes MONTHS before they'll even feel safe to explore the whole house. 

Having a room that's quiet is a big step. Sitting on top of him is still okay. Just be sure to talk to him quietly, even read aloud from whatever you're doing. Once in awhile, go sit on the floor, let him see you, but far enough that he doesn't feel trapped. Only reason I said to sit far away is to be sure that he doesn't feel trapped. 

Can you alternate between being in the room and not? He needs some alone time, and while he's still afraid, your being in the room all day might not be too helpful. 

Most importantly, hang in there and check with your vet regularly about his not eating and drinking. Here's hoping he'll at least eat, drink or poop soon -- that's a big worry off your shoulders!

Thanks. Yes, I will feel better when he starts to eat.

He's just climbed up underneath the bedclothes and has formed a quiet lump under the doona about two feet away from me. Progress, maybe. I do get up periodically to attend to the rest of the family and stretch my legs. I hope that's enough for him at the moment.

elfin said:

He's just climbed up underneath the bedclothes and has formed a quiet lump under the doona about two feet away from me. Progress, maybe. 

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THat's the attitude. Every little victory is progress. He moved 3 inches farther today than yesterday? Progress! What I find helpful for particularly timid cats is to keep a journal. Write down every little thing that you notice. It may sound silly now, but once you can see all the little progresses the little guy is making, it's a great feeling. That way you'll have less of a tendency to compare him to another cat.

I think I'm just feeling rejected because I so badly need feline love at the moment and he won't even look at me. We'll get there. Thanks for your help.

elfin said:

 
I think I'm just feeling rejected because I so badly need feline love at the moment and he won't even look at me. We'll get there. Thanks for your help.

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Been there, know how you feel.   Just remember that it's nothing personal. Cats don't hurt your feelings intentionally. He just doesn't know that you're his new best friend yet. He'll treat me the same way if I were you. Nothing personal. 

I had a very similar experience when I brought Oliver home 10 months ago. I was told he was verybshy, he came from a bad situation, he had been caught in a feral trap when he was very young. He was 4 months when I brought him home & I would classify him as terrified not shy. He started in the bathroom with everything he needed. I didn't think he would ever come out, but here we are 10 months later & I am celebrating the fact that he was brave enough to get on the kitchen counter yesterday[emoji]128522[/emoji]. I still can't hold him & sometimes that breaks my heart, but I really try to focus on the successes & how far he has come since that fist day & it gets me excited about tomorrow & what he might overcome.

Patience,Patience Patience.... He will venture out at his own pace. I let Oliver guide me on how much space he needed, when he left the bathroom on his own, the gate came down. He did move under the bed, I did pull most of the covering on the box springs off & raised the bed so I could get under if I needed to get him out & to enable me to get his food underneath & out of the dogs reach.

I also used my other cat Quincy, 4 mths his senior. Quincy is very friendly & outgoing. I took him into the room on ocassion & quietly played & petted him in front of Oliver, natural curiosity took over & they began to investigate, then play a little. Then one day Oliver was sitting @ the gate meowing & Quincy refused to go in, so Oliver came out! He followed Quincy around for months.

It takes time, but you'll get there & one day you'll look back & be surprised at how far you have come. Its all worth it, just hang in there. Oliver, Quincy & I are rooting for you [emoji]128049[/emoji]

Thanks, I'm wafting those vibes in Pixel's direction! 

I really really hope he does come through this stage quickly. A very timid cat just won't work in our noisy, busy household. I'm crossing my fingers that he's only this frightened because he was taken from his mother so late and the trip home yesterday was so stressful.

I can totally sympathize with how you are feeling as I am still going through a similar situation.  I'm missing that feline love too.

My little Nook is almost 6 months old, I have had him for 2 months and am only now getting my first smooths thanks to the great advice I have been given on this forum.

We still have a long way to go but I am still hanging on in there.

My advice is just be patient with him, he will come around when he is ready.

Patience ... not one of my strong points! It's good to hear that your Nook is coming round for you.

Coming up on 36 hours since Pixel's last meal I got really worried, so I put him in the ensuite with a cardboard box, some blankets, the litter box and the food tray. I figured if he wasn't going to eat locked in a small room by himself with the food a foot away from his nose, then he never would. He has finally eaten a meal of canned food and is now sitting beside the sink. He's still behaving as though he expects me to eat him at any moment, but at least I don't have to worry so much about him now.

He is exploring, playing, climbing the curtains, grooming, looking at me when he thinks I'm not watching...

I am happy

(Maybe not so much about climbing the curtains, but you can't win them all!)

All sounds positive to me.

He obviously likes the smaller space you have him in and that should give him confidence.

You need to go in there and sit with him when he is feeling more confident. 

Read to him or just talk to him while you work on your laptop.

I find that just talking away to myself while not looking at him helped as he got use to your voice.......I know it sounds mad!

Does not sound like he is going to be a semi-extreme case like Nook. 

We are using the crate method at the moment as I was just unable to touch him and he freaked out even if you dropped a feather on the floor -  don't think you will need to go this far.

Just think of the reward you'll get at the end - that's how I stay focused.

Keep up the good work.

I left the door between the ensuite and bedroom open overnight. The little monkey played hard until 3am then started calling for his mum in his lovely oriental voice. A couple of times when he thought I was asleep (who could sleep with all that noise?) he walked all over me and had a good sniff. We even had a bit of a play over the side of the bed with the feather wand. He's still really wary of me but will let me lightly touch him.

Today's task: kittenproofing my room!

Really happy to hear that. I take it he's eating and pooping, too?

Unfortunately once the sun came up he got scared again. He did have two wet food meals overnight though, so I'm not stressed about his uneaten breakfast. I don't think he's touched the dry.

He's definitely done a wee (on my jumper unfortunately) and I'm sure I heard him in the litter box overnight as well. No poo yet.

His breeder feels that a limited introduction to our foster cat might help his confidence since he's been a cattery cat and most of his social bonds have been with other cats. We had him in an open-sided carrier with a blanket over one side for a few minutes this morning, where he and our foster could see each other. She hissed a bit but that was about the extent of it. She had already been introduced to his smell on various objects and didn't seem bothered. Last night while he was demolishing my room with his playing she was sitting outside the door wondering what on earth was going on. I don't think we have an alpha cat in Pixel, maybe that will help keep things sweet between the two of them.

I was watching him in the carrier - unable to run away and with the blanket to hide behind if he felt threatened, he was showing interest in his surroundings and even played with the blanket a bit. I've had a chat to the breeder and we're going to try three or four short sessions in the carrier each day, letting him see the other cat and a bit of family life from a position of safety. He's used to cages, which I wouldn't have thought to be a good thing but it could be helpful here. Apparently he's not been exposed to strangers before so we have some socialisation issues to deal with, though he's very sweet natured and not lashing out at all even though he's still very scared.

Edited to correct a silly typo 

I'm glad that you thought to enclose little Pixel in a smaller area!  A large area can be overwhelming and hiding under the bed does nothing to instill confidence. Bathrooms are often a good choice because the kitties can hide behind the toilet but are also easily accessible to us.

If you haven't done so already, you might enjoy watching some "My Cat From Hell" or looking up Jackson Galaxy's tips. He is wonderful with cats  BTW: sorry about the see-saw emoticon, it was added by a semi-feral, Rikki, and I am so thrilled that she is on my lap trying to interact with my typing, that I will excuse her choice of commentary!

I look forward to reading updates on Pixel

I like the see-saw emoticon 

Pix seems to be settling into a routine, and it's not a good one. At night, when all the humans are in bed, he plays, eats and uses his litter tray, though the slightest human movement sends him bolting for cover. During the day he just hides, not eating or doing anything else even if we're not there. If I look in on him he always has his eyes open, usually looking anywhere but directly at me. His posture is tight and closed. Even at night he'll only eat if I'm either out of the room or totally silent and still in bed.

We've set him up in a large crate in the living room, with a box to hide in/behind, food, water, litter tray and a blanket over the top and one end. He can hide to his heart's content but is exposed to the sounds of the family and can watch us if he wants to (he doesn't, he just hides with his head down). He's in there during the day. There's movement in the room and talking, but the kids play at the other end of the house so it's not crazy. At night when I'm ready for bed I open the cage door and he heads to the bedroom, where he immediately goes into hiding until I turn the light off. I can't leave him in the cage all the time, he needs time and space to play. He's still crying in the middle of the night.

He's comfortable enough in his new surroundings to play through the night. His problem is with people. We're giving him space and just talking to him, usually from down low so we're not looming over him. His response to us is total withdrawal. He's interested in moving toys until he notices that there's a human on the other end of the stick, then he hides again. He hisses sometimes when we talk to him even though we're not in his face.

We're not at all happy with the situation. We got him because we thought that having a warm, living kitten to focus on would help the children (and me) deal with the loss of Poe. We deliberately got a different breed so there wouldn't be too many reminders and associations and we could start afresh with Pixel as an individual. Instead we have a stressed kitten and upset children who don't understand why their new playmate doesn't like them.

If we'd felt that we had the emotional resilience to deal with an unsocialised cat we would have gone to a shelter. We approached a breeder, asked many questions and paid several hundred dollars to get a cat without this sort of issue. We knew a new cat would need time to settle in but we didn't sign up for months of work just to have him accept us. If things don't improve there will come a point when we have to decide whether he needs to go back to the breeder. I just wish I knew how long to wait. I keep hoping that the next time I look over at the crate I'll see him sitting up waiting for me to stroke him, but I don't think it's going to happen.