- Joined
- Feb 22, 2014
- Messages
- 28
- Purraise
- 2
My roommate adopted Murphy 2 years ago. He'd been through several homes, and was clearly abused at some point. My roommate never had a pet, so she read a bunch of books on cats (awesome!), and has done a great job to bring him out of his shell. But they have a petting ritual that seems odd to me.
When Murphy wants attention, he stands up on his hind legs and claps. Then he runs to a specific spot and lays down, exposing his belly. So my roommate rubs his belly. He quickly gets tired of it and bites her. She will either chastise him and push him away, or rub his belly even more roughly, and let him bite her like it's a game. Sometimes she'll back off and he'll continue to lash out and bite her hand.
I moved in about 6 months ago. I've had cats my entire life, and used to foster anti-social and feral kittens to get them acclimated to human interaction. Murphy did not trust me at first, and actually bit me a couple of times when I tried to pet him. I let him know that biting was unacceptable, and worked really hard to learn how Murphy likes to get affection. Last night, he finally curled up in my lap. He only stayed for a couple of minutes, but it was an amazing breakthrough moment, and I cried like the big baby I am.
As I was wiping my eyes & explaining how special it is when an abused cat decides to trust you, my roommate got miffed and called him a traitor. She's said this a few times, and it ticks me off. On some level, I can understand how she's upset. She wants a cuddly cat, and her own cat isn't cuddly with her. But I don't know what to do about it.
My two cats LOVE her, especially Marky Mark. He climbs on her lap, puts his paws on her chest, and gets his whiskers rubbed. Sometimes he just falls asleep on her, purring like a maniac. I'm thrilled that they have such a special relationship, and I love that someone else gets to see how awesome my cats are! But she doesn't see my relationship with Murphy in that way.
I think the belly rubbing & biting is an unhealthy cycle that's damaging their relationship. He's learning to go to her for play and me for affection. There's a chance that Murphy has a stomach issue, and the belly rubbing is painful.
I don't know what to do. This is a really weird, uncomfortable situation. I'm certainly not going to withhold appropriate affection from a cat just learning to trust it. But I don't want to damage my relationship with my roommate either. Does anyone have a suggestion?
When Murphy wants attention, he stands up on his hind legs and claps. Then he runs to a specific spot and lays down, exposing his belly. So my roommate rubs his belly. He quickly gets tired of it and bites her. She will either chastise him and push him away, or rub his belly even more roughly, and let him bite her like it's a game. Sometimes she'll back off and he'll continue to lash out and bite her hand.
I moved in about 6 months ago. I've had cats my entire life, and used to foster anti-social and feral kittens to get them acclimated to human interaction. Murphy did not trust me at first, and actually bit me a couple of times when I tried to pet him. I let him know that biting was unacceptable, and worked really hard to learn how Murphy likes to get affection. Last night, he finally curled up in my lap. He only stayed for a couple of minutes, but it was an amazing breakthrough moment, and I cried like the big baby I am.
As I was wiping my eyes & explaining how special it is when an abused cat decides to trust you, my roommate got miffed and called him a traitor. She's said this a few times, and it ticks me off. On some level, I can understand how she's upset. She wants a cuddly cat, and her own cat isn't cuddly with her. But I don't know what to do about it.
My two cats LOVE her, especially Marky Mark. He climbs on her lap, puts his paws on her chest, and gets his whiskers rubbed. Sometimes he just falls asleep on her, purring like a maniac. I'm thrilled that they have such a special relationship, and I love that someone else gets to see how awesome my cats are! But she doesn't see my relationship with Murphy in that way.
I think the belly rubbing & biting is an unhealthy cycle that's damaging their relationship. He's learning to go to her for play and me for affection. There's a chance that Murphy has a stomach issue, and the belly rubbing is painful.
I don't know what to do. This is a really weird, uncomfortable situation. I'm certainly not going to withhold appropriate affection from a cat just learning to trust it. But I don't want to damage my relationship with my roommate either. Does anyone have a suggestion?
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