Is it time to consider re-homing?

Hi guys,

This is an extremely touchy subject for me. My male kitten, about 7/8 months old has weird habit that has me thinking that my home is not the best place for him. We have trained him into letting us sleep at night, using his hidden litter box, eating on a schedule, playing on a schedule, not paying with hands, and appropriate scratching. He is 99% of the time a very well behaved cat.

Our problem lies in his aggression. Neutering, air cans, ignoring, time-outs, and crying and hissing have not worked. Normally we can watch for signs in cats of when they are fed up with attention. Opie does not display any signs and strikes completely at random. Most of the times he is forcing himself upon myself or my boyfriend, purring and sweet, then he turns toward whatever body part is closest, wraps himself around it with claws and takes a large hard bite and yanks as if to pull the skin away. This happens regardless of whether or not he is being pet, It's almost as if he is getting spooked by something and a light switch just goes off in his head. Lately he has been biting harder and breaking skin. When he does this, we blast him with the canned air duster, or shut him out of the room for awhile as a time out. This has been going on for months and we can't seem to get control of him. 

Myself and my guests are scared to pet him because they have seen him flip a switch like this. The past two weeks, he is also doing this new thing where he runs as fast as he can towards me and circles me with his hair up, ears back, and eyes dilated. This happens for no reason also! Usually when I'm eating breakfast or doing schoolwork. It's been over 2 months since he was neutered so I was expecting a lessening in his aggression. 

My ultimate feeling is that we got him when he did not have adequate time with his mother (6 weeks), but I thought me taking him was better than him going to the shelter. I feel like Opie would benefit from some time with other cats that may mellow him out. Or perhaps be an outdoor cat, where it is not an option here in the city. 

I feel terrible even considering it but I think with his behavior pattern, something needs to happen while he is young, otherwise his bad behavior will be on me, and who knows what may happen to him if he has to be re-homed later in life if he is worse. Do they treat human aggression in cats the same way they do dogs? I sure hope not for his sake.. 

Just for reference:

Fed: Tastes of the wild

play- one 15 min session in morning, and hour or more at night duing TV time

neutered

male

only cat

Allegedly half Bengal half Russian Blue

very very quiet apartment complex

I want what is best for my animal as anyone would. I understand that sometimes some animals just aren't fit for the environment in which they are placed and can sometimes benefit from being re-homed. It would break my heart but if it what is best, then I would do it. 

P.S. we have seen the vet about this and they did classify his behavior as a dominate aggressive cat. We talked in depth about this with the vet and she seemed to have no answers other then neutering and talking to a behavioral therapist to see if they can see why he flips like that. And to add insult to injury, she said that most of the time in these cases, they don't know what causes the cat this stress and they end up putting them on kitty prozac.

That does sound like scary behavior. Did you talk to  a behavioral therapist when your vet suggested it? 

I know some people have had success using Feliway or medications or natural remedies for problems like this. Is there some reason you're jumping straight to the idea of rehoming him? He might do better in a different environment, yes, but he might do worse, there's no knowing. 

​At least, please don't give him to a shelter, they might have to put him down if he's surrendered for being aggressive.

ETA: Is this the same kitten you posted about when you joined? In June, you said he was 8 weeks old, which would make him only about 5 months now. In that case he's really very young and may well just need to be taught appropriate ways to play with humans. 

momto3cats said:

 
That does sound like scary behavior. Did you talk to  a behavioral therapist when your vet suggested it? 

I know some people have had success using Feliway or medications or natural remedies for problems like this. Is there some reason you're jumping straight to the idea of rehoming him? He might do better in a different environment, yes, but he might do worse, there's no knowing. 

​At least, please don't give him to a shelter, they might have to put him down if he's surrendered for being aggressive.

ETA: Is this the same kitten you posted about when you joined? In June, you said he was 8 weeks old, which would make him only about 5 months now. In that case he's really very young and may well just need to be taught appropriate ways to play with humans. 

Click to expand...

Yes, we were told he might benefit from a mature kitty friend, but that is not an option for us at this point. Which is why I felt that he should get into contact with other cats sooner. 

We have tried the anxiety collars  with the feliway type pheromones on them and had no luck.

I would NEVER give him to a shelter. It would be one of my family members with a farm and adult well behaved cats. The reason why I jumped right to rehoming is because I want to take care of this behavior ASAP. I know the longer they get away with behaviors, the harder it is to treat with adult cats. 

And yes is he 5 months, Idk where I got 7/8 from. But yeah, this is why I posted though. I don't know what the best option is. I know he isn't playing when he does this. These are very firm and aggressive attacks and i'm just trying to get the community's opinion on whether or not it would be best option. I don't want him to continue on a path where we HAS to be rehomed because he is dangerous to humans. 

Maybe the kitty Prozac would help--have you considered that option?

My youngest kitty used to do similar to what you are describing. He would play really really rough (blood was drawn) and spring for the face. What I did was when he would get too rough yell "ouch" and scruff him and pin him to the ground untill he stopped struggling (carefully to not hurt him or get hurt) I know this sounds really mean but I'd do the same thing with big dogs. It's not hurting them but it does show you're the bigger stronger "cat". It worked for us. He stopped going for the face within a few days and stopped playing so hard (wrap around the arm chewing) shortly after. And he's a very loving guy we just got him from a family who got him very young. He'll still wrap around the arm and chew but much gentler

If he really does have Bengal in him, that could be where the issue lies.  He's bored.  Bengals are one of, if not the most, active breeds and need constant stimulation. His boredom could be coming out as aggression because he's frustrated that he has all this extra energy and no outlet for it.  I would suggest more play and if you don't have the time, they have many toys now that are motion detectors and can "play" with him.  Look into those. 

It is extremely difficult to responsibly rehome a cat.  I will warn you.  And one with this issue would be even harder.  Try the toys that can help him with his frustration and see if it helps curb his aggression first. 

PS- Bengals also love to jump and be sort of acrobatical.  So if you can find a way to play with him that includes jumping and really being an acrobat, it can help a lot.  I suggest building your own make shift agility course for him.  Include steps and places where he has to jump or climb.  Really make it interesting for him. 

P3 and The King said:

 
If he really does have Bengal in him, that could be where the issue lies.  He's bored.  Bengals are one of, if not the most, active breeds and need constant stimulation. His boredom could be coming out as aggression because he's frustrated that he has all this extra energy and no outlet for it.  I would suggest more play and if you don't have the time, they have many toys now that are motion detectors and can "play" with him.  Look into those. 

It is extremely difficult to responsibly rehome a cat.  I will warn you.  And one with this issue would be even harder.  Try the toys that can help him with his frustration and see if it helps curb his aggression first. 

PS- Bengals also love to jump and be sort of acrobatical.  So if you can find a way to play with him that includes jumping and really being an acrobat, it can help a lot.  I suggest building your own make shift agility course for him.  Include steps and places where he has to jump or climb.  Really make it interesting for him. 

Click to expand...

We have worked to make our home fun for him investing in various toys, scratchers, da bird, chutes. This alleviated his play aggression but has done nothing for his random aggressive outbursts. What I am seeing is almost an anxiety or fearful reaction to a stimuli that I can't find. As I explained to my friends and family, its as though when he is laying on our laps or near us that he is being poked by a cattle prod or screamed at as he jumps and latches onto us. It's happened while I was sleeping as well as while I'm not even acknowledging his presence. It's like he is being scared back into reality. We have had him tested at the vet for possible physical ailment and deafness but he seems to be in good health. and as I have said, his other annoying kitten "problems" have been relieved with loads of play time and set meal times as well a treats. 

betsygee said:

 
Maybe the kitty Prozac would help--have you considered that option?

Click to expand...

Personally, I think it would be more humane for my pet to be in a happy for stimulating environment where he can take out whatever aggression he has on his cat friends, birds, trees. I would rather treat the root of his problems than try to curb his symptoms with a medication at such a young age.

To make the term rehoming very clear to everyone, I am in no way of talking about dumping him on the streets, a shelter, a rescue or any other form of abandoning him. He would go to a home where I could see him often. The options we are considering are farms of family and friends where he is safe and protected but has the cat friends and stimulation or aggression outlets that he needs.

hellomisslady said:

 
We have worked to make our home fun for him investing in various toys, scratchers, da bird, chutes. This alleviated his play aggression but has done nothing for his random aggressive outbursts. What I am seeing is almost an anxiety or fearful reaction to a stimuli that I can't find. As I explained to my friends and family, its as though when he is laying on our laps or near us that he is being poked by a cattle prod or screamed at as he jumps and latches onto us. It's happened while I was sleeping as well as while I'm not even acknowledging his presence. It's like he is being scared back into reality. We have had him tested at the vet for possible physical ailment and deafness but he seems to be in good health. and as I have said, his other annoying kitten "problems" have been relieved with loads of play time and set meal times as well a treats. 

Personally, I think it would be more humane for my pet to be in a happy for stimulating environment where he can take out whatever aggression he has on his cat friends, birds, trees. I would rather treat the root of his problems than try to curb his symptoms with a medication at such a young age.

To make the term rehoming very clear to everyone, I am in no way of talking about dumping him on the streets, a shelter, a rescue or any other form of abandoning him. He would go to a home where I could see him often. The options we are considering are farms of family and friends where he is safe and protected but has the cat friends and stimulation or aggression outlets that he needs.

Click to expand...

Well, we all tell ourselves that... IF we have to rehome, we'll find a responsible family member or good friend to take them.  That way, we can see them all the time.  The chances of it happening that way are very slim.  And often, if he becomes an issue for them, they will not take the care to find him a loving and responsible home.  It is very difficult to find a good home if it doesn't work out with you. That is what we are trying to relay here.  We don't to blow your fantasy, but give you the realities of the situation.  It's a difficult pill to swallow, I know.  But, also a true and accurate one. 

An outdoor enclosure can help, too.  I don't know if you can make one or afford one already made.  But the fact is, he is being aggressive for a reason, not just out of meaness.  Cats aren't like people in that way.  And the medication is not a cruelty, either.  It's an alternative that can help.  Just like a kid with a disorder, they can be physically healthy but something in their brain makes them too hyper or aggressive or whatever... This helps balance it out and curb it.  It doesn't mean he won't be healthy anymore.  It's something to look into.  We are trying to give you options besides rehoming.  But if you are set on that, I doubt you will find anyone here that will encourage it or tell you it's easy or that your ideal will work out.  Because most of us know too well that it doesn't most of the time.  But, good luck to you!

I suggest feliway as well.

Any chance you can get him a playmate? A second cat just might be the outlet he needs too. Another cat would play and teach him when he gets too rough.

P3 and The King said:

 
Well, we all tell ourselves that... IF we have to rehome, we'll find a responsible family member or good friend to take them.  That way, we can see them all the time.  The chances of it happening that way are very slim.  And often, if he becomes an issue for them, they will not take the care to find him a loving and responsible home.  It is very difficult to find a good home if it doesn't work out with you. That is what we are trying to relay here.  We don't to blow your fantasy, but give you the realities of the situation.  It's a difficult pill to swallow, I know.  But, also a true and accurate one. 

An outdoor enclosure can help, too.  I don't know if you can make one or afford one already made.  But the fact is, he is being aggressive for a reason, not just out of meaness.  Cats aren't like people in that way.  And the medication is not a cruelty, either.  It's an alternative that can help.  Just like a kid with a disorder, they can be physically healthy but something in their brain makes them too hyper or aggressive or whatever... This helps balance it out and curb it.  It doesn't mean he won't be healthy anymore.  It's something to look into.  We are trying to give you options besides rehoming.  But if you are set on that, I doubt you will find anyone here that will encourage it or tell you it's easy or that your ideal will work out.  Because most of us know too well that it doesn't most of the time.  But, good luck to you!

Click to expand...

i'm not living under some illusion that I'm going to take my cat to a family member's property and get to roll around in the hay with him with butterflies. All I said it that makes more sense for me to bring him into an environment where I know he may not have his aggressive trigger rather than forcing a medication on him. I can't take the trigger away so I would take him away from the trigger. But than again I'm the weirdo mom in society that would rather look into natural treatments rather than medication for my kids (blame it on the California in me) . 

I knew this post would probably piss off alot of people. I have done my research and have been on this forum for month studying other people's problem's and solutions and watching way too many episodes from my cat from hell to see if he has dealt with anything similar. It seems to me that the consensus is that he needs a kitten friend and that is something that I cannot take on. As you can see in the comments below, that's what has been suggested.

I never suggested that you get another kitty.  I think that would be a huge mistake.  I think that you are not liking our suggestions.  But, we don't know other than what you say what is going on.  We can offer suggestions and if you choose not to take them, that is entirely your call.  We are also just trying to give you a bigger picture of what it's like to rehome and how difficult it is is all. 

Natural remedies can help or they may not.  It may just be his personality.  An outdoor enclosure is something I would look into seriously because it may be the only "natural remedy" that can truly help.  And it will be less painful than trying to find a responsible loving home for him. 

Also another thing I would like to add is that another kitty for him is not an answer for him either.  With these "issues" he seems like an alpha personality cat... And unless you found just the perfect cat that wouldn't clash with his personality and wouldn't paint a target on his back.  He would need to be a beta cat.  But not submissive.  Another alpha would clash and a submissive would be afraid of him.  Plus, it's a lot of work to properly introduce two kitties.  It would not be an instant fix. 

Please look into an outdoor enclosure, if no other suggestions appeal to you, at least try this one before deciding rehoming is the only option.

Without knowing what his potential triggers are, you could be putting him in a less that ideal situation by rehoming him. This could actually make the situation worse for him and could cause him to become more aggressive.

If you truly think his reaction is due to fear/anxiety and you are unable to pinpoint what is leading to this, I think medication would be a viable option to try. You would need to give the kitten 6-8 weeks of being on the medication to see if it resolves the behavior. He would need to remain in the same environment for comparison.

I understand your hesitation to put a 5 month old on this type of medication; but, under the circumstances, I think it would be worth it.

 I can't take the trigger away so I would take him away from the trigger. 

Click to expand...

This only works if the cause of his behavior is something in your home. From what you've said, it sounds like you don't know whether that's the case or not.

It might be worth a try, if you could take him back if it doesn't work out, rather than let him get sent to a shelter or kicked out, etc. Giving him to family who live nearby may make that easier than rehoming him with strangers.

The only time I ever rehomed a cat was when a new addition just could not get along with one of the resident cats. In that case, I was able to find her a nice home as an only cat. Years later I was still getting occasional updates and she was doing fine. So it CAN work, especially if you know what the problem is and take steps to find a home that has a good chance of success. But as people have been saying, it isn't necessarily an easy or foolproof solution.

It sounds like you've really thought about this problem a lot. Have you tried keeping a journal about these incidents? I kept a journal for my cat when I was worried that she had hyperesthesia and came to realize that the "episodes" she was having were too infrequent to be true hyperesthesia and seemed to occur after I had come home from visiting a friend's house (her cats have fleas, I don't use flea meds because I've never had a problem before). From this I narrowed things down to her just being bugged by something, most likely fleas. I've been using flea meds and haven't had a problem since (fingers crossed!).

Sometimes it's hard for us to see what a trigger is. You may feel like nothing is happening and it's weird, random, kitty madness, but in reality you just haven't noticed it yet. Watch your kitten like a hawk on your days off and write down everything (time of day, if any cats have been roaming around, anyone visited the apartment, etc.). Sometimes the triggers are scents of other cats. Are there any other cats in the apartment complex? If he's smelling those other cats, it may seem like he's perfectly fine, scents the cat, then suddenly a switch is flipped and he's redirecting the aggression at the nearest target.

Some suggested Feliway, but Feliway doesn't work on all cats, and it sounds like you've already tried something similar.

If you have people who are interested in him, that's good. If these people already have cats on their property, the thing I would worry about most is that if your cat is having dominance aggression he is gonna try that with those other cats. He's still small so I would assume they would wallop him, but expect some cat fights and the people who take him should know of that possibility. (But I'm sure you've already thought of that!)

Good luck with your kitty. It's very stressful when cats have a behavioral problem.

I know you're not keen to go with the prescription drugs, but would you consider something like this?  I've also found that feliway as a diffuser has a different effect to the collar or spray that is directly on the cat.

I do have to agree that boredom will cause big issues.  And leaving his mom at 6 weeks is far from ideal.

I do hope you can find an answer as it's a very difficult situation, and I feel for you.

I have found Composure liquid Max to have a calming affect on aggressive cats.  You can find it on Amazon or EntirelyPets.com  You can mix it in with their wet food 2x a day.

I also would suggest a "Cat Super highway"  If you watch Jackson Galaxy you should have heard him talk about it.  Catify your home so that he can be up.  It will also help burn some energy.  Take a look at Jackson's site.  He has super ideas and lots of pictures.  You can put simple shelving all around your home and get him up and running.

Does he have a cat tree or place to look outside?

This is not a funny situation and I understand your frustration.

However, I am afraid re-homing your kitty to a loving home won't be easy, providing you give the potential new caregiver all of the information:

Imagine you have a cat and someone asks you to take their cat into your family, because the kitty is very aggressive, biting and scratching people drawing blood, and they believe he will be happy if he can take it out on your cat. How likely would you be to take that kitten? 

Optionally not giving the whole info about your kitty may result in an emergency call demanding you to take the kitten back prompt and you'll be where you started, but with a kitten slightly worse due to re-homing back and forth.

 I might be wrong and you may find a home where your cat will be happy and more mellow, anything is possible.

Before you make the final decision, would you consider trying natural remedies suggested in the posts above?

I've tried the calming collars, one of my cats got lethargic and unhappy, and the other one irritated from it - I suspect it could be too much for some cats carrying this lavender stinking jewelry wherever they go.

Maybe you would you consider to go a bit longer (except medication as you stated) and see if any of it may help? 

It would go something like this: Feliway diffusers through out your home, in every room, then composure mix or Rescue Remedy (I use 4 drops morning and evening on a tasty treat - it has not helped Teddy wanting Sissi out of the house, but it has helped Sissi to fear him much less, so it works on the fear/panic part), your vet probably has the Composure chews, they help some cats with aggression.

If it's a dominance thing, then maybe the advice about holding him down till he calms down thus showing you are the alpha cat in your home would help...?

It doesn't scare the kitty if done gently, it puts him in submission when done same way as his cat mom would have done.

I wouldn't tolerate to be attacked by any of my cats either, you are not supposed to walk in fear in your home. You are the alpha and your cat needs to know that and to not challenge your position.

Don't know if air spray or time out would be helpful here as they are not a direct confrontation. Many years ago, my beloved Toto, a 1.5 y.o. feral when he came to my family, tried to dominate me. I stared him down. It was a bit scary, as it is a kinda invitation to fight or flight. He looked away when I was close to blinking cos it is hard to not. Then I scruff him, gently but firmly, and stayed like this for 30 seconds or so. He acknowledged me as the alpha and never went after me again. But that was him, it may or may not work on your kitten, as every cat is different.

For my 5 months old kitten's play aggression I got him a stuffed teddy bear. One that is almost as large as Junior the kitten. Junior used to go after my legs in bed when I moved them, thinking we are playing. Nope, my legs are not a toy, I tossed the bear on the bed and now he "fights" with the bear and i can sleep in peace. Sometimes he visits the bear in the bed and gives him a fight during the day as well. Maybe your kitten too would enjoy play fights with a stuffed toy...? 

Then there is the option of asking a cat behaviorist for help. The behaviorist will come to your home and observe your kitty in his everyday surroundings, which may help to find out what is the cause of your cat's aggression. 

All my best wishes and hopes for a happy outcome    

I found this interview with Jackson Galaxy for a couple weeks ago. He tells in the interview how his outlook on mood medications has changed over time, and why. 

Thought you might like to read it  

http://www.naturalcatcareblog.com/2...ats-per-square-foot-and-you-interview-part-2/