My girl cat died, should I get a new cat for her brother?

robinathome

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I have 2 indoor cats(small space 1,000 sq feet) but in July 2014 my female Franny(sister of male) died.  Its almost 2 months and I noticed that the male Lemmy who had what looked like exzema on his back is cured.  He had it for years. Dry dandruff but now I believe it was from stress from Franny.  They fought a lot.  Mostly he would lay down in a non threatning way and she would jump on him. But in the last few years it became more difficult with major nasty meowing at each other.  They never seemed close for the entire 12 years, more like they tolerated each other.    In the last 2 weeks I see that Lemmy is looking for Franny under my bed where she slept.  I am a flight attendant so I am away from home and I also travel a lot on vacations.  I adopted 2 cats so they could keep each other company.  But now 2 months in I am wondering if Lemmy is lonely when I leave.  He sleeps like most cats 15hours a day.  He still sleeps alone at night, no visiting my bedroom( his sis slept with me every night)  I've tried to coax him in but he does not last long.  Since I am older and in the future I want to do a lot more traveling I am not thinking I want another cat in the house.  I am thinking when Lemmy is no longer here I will not have cat's till I am more settled again.  Is Lemmy really lonely?  I give him loads of attention when I am home.  Any thoughts on this topic will be greatly appreciated.  
 

p3 and the king

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People often believe that cats need a replacement pal once their bonded friend departs.  The thing is, cats and dogs grieve very much like people.  They go through depression and different stages.  Some days, they may be fine and others are harder.  Just like us.  It may be too soon just yet to think of getting another cat.  Cats do not like change in general and a lot of change, big changes, in a short time can backfire and cause a lot of issues.  Big changes like a death and then a new kitty.  Give it time.  Cats can do well as a solo cat.  They can be social but unlike dogs, they are not "pack animals." 

If maybe in about 6 months, YOU still would like another cat, then by all means.  As long as you go through the steps of proper introduction and not expecting too much.  I think right now, you'd be expecting too much and instead of "helping" your kitty, you'd be causing more anxiety and stress.

For good measure, right now get Feliway diffusers or the calming collar.  They can help your kitty through this difficult time.
 
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robinathome

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Thanks P3 and the King, I believe Lemmy is OK...but I just don't want him to be lonely.  I do have people stop in when I am gone so he is not that alone.  I really don't want to introduce another cat into the home.  Thanks again for your thoughts and others have expressed your same thoughts. 
 

mnm

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so sorry about the passing of your kitty. I just lost mine as well and her "sister" has been affected by it ... the last 2 days have been much better (it's been 11 days) but I know it would be way too stressful to introduce her to a new kitty right now... and I'm thinking I don't even think I will get another.... it's bound to be stressful to introduce her to one... let alone, she's 10... I'm 56, so I don't really want to get a "kitten", as it may outlive me lol, and I just can't see her bonding with an older cat as she didn't really cuddle with her litter sister...they "play" wrestled once and awhile, but didn't always hang out together. I would never ever discourage anyone from adopting a kitty though :)
 
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robinathome

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I am in the exact same boat. I am sorry for your loss.  It's hard but this website really really helped me make the right decision.  I had thought I should let Franny die on her own her in the house.  And then I had the really bad night.  The night she peed herself and every time I brought her up to sleep with me she stumbled away to dying spot.  Then I read here how bad what I was doing was, trying to let her die on her own.  After 2 nights like that I knew...I called my vet and he came over.  It was very peaceful, and so very sad.  First time I had to put my cat down. I just hate even saying that.  Anyway thanks for you kind words.  I do believe her brother and I will live together till his time comes.  I am older to and can not take on another cat.  By the way if you did not read this...about 2 weeks after Franny died my boy Lemmy's skin rash went away after 3 years of it.  Stress probably but now he is stress free....but he still takes a look under the bed for her...wondering where she went.  Thanks MnM
 

mnm

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aww... well if he was indeed under stress, at least he's probably looking under the bed and slightly smiling that he doesn't see her :) Siblings!! ;)
 
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robinathome

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LOL...thanks for that...Lemmy and I just played roll the ping pong ball down the hall way.  He loves it...give it a try....and yes...he seemed less stressed and much more talkative...meowitive....
 

mnm

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:) cute. Mikki is a string girl...Minnie was a hairband hockey girl :)
 
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