Help! I dont know what else to do!

Back in 2007, we moved to Montana from West Virginia and not too long after settling in, we got a couple of cats, Pandora and Thor.  Now, they're not brother and sister, but grew up together as kittens and were very close.  Due to some unfortunate circumstances, we had to move back to WV, and naturally took the cats with us.

Fast forward to 2013. We'd bought a home a year prior, and got the kitties all settled in. Everything was going beautifully. In December, we adopted a little kitten (Apollo) from the shelter. Other than aggravating Pandora a bit, he fit in fine. Thor was such a chill cat, he really didn't care who was in the house, as long as they pet him.  

A couple of months later, Thor got very sick. He was a bit overweight and had stopped eating. We knew he wasn't feeling well, and it turned out he had Feline Hepatic Lipidosis (liver disease). If treated early, it can be cured, and Thor's numbers were improving. However, in April of 2014 it was just too much for his body and he passed away.

Needless to say, we were devastated. But I think Pandora is permanently scarred from his loss. Because of his disease and the way we had to feed him (through a tube), we had to keep him separated from the other cats. So he was downstairs in our family room for several months, getting regular feedings around the clock and lots of companionship. But because Pandora never saw him, I think she feels like either we got rid of him, or we did something to cause him to die, because her behavior has been just crazy in the months since we lost Thor.

For example, we have 3 litter boxes. Cleaned every day. But she will pee on cushions, blankets, anything soft. We took her to the vet and she doesn't have any medical problems. I don't know if she's doing that because she's angry about the loss of Thor, or because she thinks we replaced him with Apollo, or what the problem is. I've got some Feliway that I can spray but I don't know what good it will do.

I want to help her, but every time I try to get near her, she usually runs. I think she feels like "she's next" and I would NEVER do anything to hurt her or any of my pets. I love them all so much, but I really think she has been traumatized.

What can I do to help her poor soul?

Have you made sure that the places she is peeing are cleaned with a good enzymatic cleaner to remove all traces of the urine?  Is she peeing in her littler boxes at all?  If not, you might want to try some Dr. Elsey's LItter Attract.  You can mix it in with your regular litter or use it straight.  It has herbs in it that attract cats to it. 

Have you tried feliway plug ins to try and calm her?  There are also lots of flower essence remedies.  You can take a look at Jackson Galaxy's Spirit Essences.  They are fabulous. 

I have also used a product called Liquid Composure Max.  It is a calming agent that helps cats to let go of some of their stress.  I purchase this on Amazon or Entirelypets.com

I also would try to spend extra time with her.  Start slowly and play with her.  See if you can get her active and involved in life again.  Do you have a da Bird toy?  They are awesome.  Cats love wand toys.  Also what about some catnip? 

Yes, I'll wash all the pillows/towels, etc. with detergent and bleach -- is that enough to get the smell out?

She will poop in the litter boxes but not pee. Can I spray feliway around the litter box? I will look at that litter attract. I *do* have a bird on a fishing pole toy but she doesn't seem interested in it. What is the liquid composure? Is it something you can spray or dab on areas to calm them down?

Often when they do this, it's a sign of illness.  Has she been to a vet at all?  She could still be grieving but this isn't really grieving behavior.  It's behavior indicating illness or something stressing her out.  She probably doesn't feel you'll "get rid of her"... Cats don't think like humans do.  It could be something obvious or something you may never know.  But her litter box, because of illness or pain, she associates it with illness or pain.  So take her to the vet and have her cleared of medical issues and then buy new litter boxes and start over.  It might help.  Litter box issues are the #1 reason cats are tossed out or surrendered to shelters so once they start, they can be difficult to fix.   Jackson Galaxy has many great ideas and videos that can help.  But she really needs to see a vet.  It's not uncommon for a serious illness to strike the cat that was close to the deceased, just like with people, when animals grieve, it can lower and effect their immunity. And I would go for a second opinion.  One vet may catch something the other missed.

Sparkie said:

 
Yes, I'll wash all the pillows/towels, etc. with detergent and bleach -- is that enough to get the smell out?

She will poop in the litter boxes but not pee. Can I spray feliway around the litter box? I will look at that litter attract. I *do* have a bird on a fishing pole toy but she doesn't seem interested in it. What is the liquid composure? Is it something you can spray or dab on areas to calm them down?

Click to expand...

I had a cat that would pee on my sons bedding repeatedly.  I began putting an old shower curtain over the bedding for times I wasn't home.  i also placed a food dish on the shower curtain with some food in it.  Most cats don't want to eat where they pee/poop.  This worked and stopped the on the bed peeing. 

She can still smell the pee on the blankets/bedding and is using it over and over.  Bleach may not be enough.  You will want to look for an enzymatic cleaner that you can use on bedding.  I know Natures Miracle makes one for carpets/flooring.  You can check to see if it works for laundry too. 

You can use the feliway spray, but it might be a good idea to have a plug in too for other areas of your house.

Here is some info on Composure.

Overview

Composure[emoji]8482[/emoji] Max Liquid is recommended for pets exposed to increased environmental stressors, such as traveling, boarding, thunderstorms, trips to the vet, grooming, and other stressful situations. This formula contains three main ingredients that work together to support calming and relaxation without affecting the pet’s energy levels or personality.The C3[emoji]8482[/emoji] colostrum calming complex supports stress reduction and cognitive function; L-Theanine helps the body produce other amino acids to bring certain neurotransmitters back into balance; and B vitamins (thiamine) affect the central nervous system to help calm anxious animals.

Directions for Use: Shake well before each use.
Cats:
Give 1/2 teaspoon daily.
Dogs:
Under 25 lbs: Give 1/2 teaspoon daily.
26 - 49 lbs: Give 1 teaspoon daily.
50 - 75 lbs: Give 1.5 teaspoons daily.
76 lbs and over: Give 2 teaspoons daily.

During Times of Increased Stress:
It is safe to double the above amount as
needed. This product can be used either
as needed for immediate support or on a
daily basis for ongoing support.

Product Facts:

Active Ingredients Per 1/2 Teaspoon (2.5 ml):

Thiamine (Vitamin B1)                                 134 mg

C3[emoji]8482[/emoji] (Colostrum Calming Complex)                        22 mg

L-Theanine (Suntheanine[emoji]174[/emoji] brand)                        21 mg

Inactive Ingredients: cornstarch, glycerin, guar gum, lecithin (from soy), maltodextrin,

non-fat milk solids, silicon dioxide, sorbic acid, sucrose, vegetable oil, water.

P3 and The King said:

 
Often when they do this, it's a sign of illness.  Has she been to a vet at all?  She could still be grieving but this isn't really grieving behavior.  It's behavior indicating illness or something stressing her out.  She probably doesn't feel you'll "get rid of her"... Cats don't think like humans do.  It could be something obvious or something you may never know.  But her litter box, because of illness or pain, she associates it with illness or pain.  So take her to the vet and have her cleared of medical issues and then buy new litter boxes and start over.  It might help.  Litter box issues are the #1 reason cats are tossed out or surrendered to shelters so once they start, they can be difficult to fix.   Jackson Galaxy has many great ideas and videos that can help.  But she really needs to see a vet.  It's not uncommon for a serious illness to strike the cat that was close to the deceased, just like with people, when animals grieve, it can lower and effect their immunity. And I would go for a second opinion.  One vet may catch something the other missed.

Click to expand...

She stated in her first post that the cat has been to the vet and they can't find anything wrong. 

Do look at Jackson Galaxy articles.  I will post a video here with some info

 

I was saying it never hurts to get a second opinion.  There are a lot of things that could be wrong and just a quick look over is often not enough.  A second opinion may find something missed the first time around.  I know it's upsetting but often this is the case and people don't find out what is wrong until it's too late or ever... They just believe the cat is doing it out of "spite." 

I forgot to ask if she is spayed?