Sleeping only in my bed

So my beautiful girl Sakız (means Gum in Turkish), LOVES my bed. 

When she first came, I was studying and she was walking around. I forgot about her for a while and she jumped in my comfortable bed and slept there. I woke her up and took her to somewhere else the moment I saw her enjoying my bed. 

Apparently I was too late. In the same night, I put something soft to a chair and put her on the chair, I pet her and she went to sleep. But after 5 minutes or so, she woke up, jumped to my bed (right in the middle of it, so I couldn’t sleep in the bed). I took her to the chair again. And this goes on like this for 6 days now.

I’d normally just put her out of my room and close my door, but I like how she wakes me up just in time for the school lol. I haven’t set up an alarm for 5 days now. She “pets” me to wake me up and she doesn’t even use her fingernails. If I don’t react immediately, she takes a soft bite on my arm

Anyway, I need a solution to this. She should be able to wake me up whenever she likes (She wakes me at 03:00 AM and 05:45 AM, 5:45 is perfect for me), but she also has to sleep in her bed.

I didn’t buy her a bed, I have many soft pillows lying around. I was going to buy her a bed, but I wasn’t sure how I could make her sleep in that bed, if I can do that.

PS: The cat is female, as I indicated, she is 2-3 months old (The owner did not know for sure). Her mother is a Van cat, but father is unknown. 

Aww, your Sakiz loves you and wants to snuggle.   You did not say why you don't want her on your bed.   

Oh you're right, I didn't tell you why I don't want her in my bed.

First of all, she wakes me up unintentionally if she sleeps in the bed. She is a traumatized cat, she lived near a construction site and the sound there scares people! So I didn't want to mess with her defense mechanisms for a while; Fingernails. She sometimes pokes her fingernails on my back, and that wakes me up. AND, this leads to her waking up, and then it's game time in the middle of the night.

Second, it's uncomfortable for both of us. Last night, I rolled over on my bed, and she was under me, she 'screamed' and tried to bite me, not a soft bite, a real bite. It's just ridiculous time to time. Sometimes she tries to sleep on my head! 

I want to buy her a bed, and put it to her room, where his litter box and food are. But I think it'll be useless if she continues to choose my bed over it.

1) cats will sleep where they want. no matter what you do!!! lol. and they're just about small enough to do that too (with the exception of a couple of breeds, and even they will sleep where they want). You might just want to get used to it. I have 3 cats, and they all sleep in the bed with me and my bf. My cat Charlie sleeps on top of my head. and no matter what i do, he just won't sleep any where else. I've gotten used to this by now......lol

2) try to play with your kitty before bedtime...she's still young and has A LOT of energy to burn off. Before you give her dinner, play with her with her favorite toy for at least 30 mins, or until you see her tired and breathing heavy...and after her play session, reward her with dinner. Try to do this closer to your bedtime...that way she'll sleep more into the night. Because she's a kitten, she will be up mostly during the night, and will want to play. This will pass however has she gets older, but don't anticipate that change until she's about 1 year old. Also, do not play with her with your hands..thats a NO NO. she will grow up getting used to playing with your hands and when she gets older, she will continue to play with your hands, but it will hurt you a lot.

3) massage your kittens paws daily, get her used to you handling her paws. her age right now is perfect. and slowly move your way up to clipping her nails. what i usually do is talk to my cats in a soothing calm voice while clipping their nails, and i myself stay calm as well, because your cat does mimic your energy. once i'm done clipping their nails, i reward them with treats, and pets too, if they hang around after the nail clippings (usually they don't). i used to use a regular toenail clipper to clip their nails, and you only have to cut off the tip, and no further because you don't want to cut into the quick...which will hurt them (imagine cutting your own nails, and cutting too far deep), but its best to just by a nail clipper that's specifically meant to clip cat or animal claws. makes the process so much easier. and they're cheap too.

4) cats usually don't want to sleep near their litter box. imagine yourself sleeping in close proximity to your toilet in your bathroom..its the same thing. what you can do, is buy a cat bed and put it in your room, maybe a little under the bed, with some dry treats hidden in them...that might entice your cat to want to sleep on the bed, but again, it probably won't. Cats are territorial, and also, want to share your space with you. so she might just hop back on the bed. try to position her so she's either next to your head or above your head on the pillow. she'll feel better and you wont accidentally turn over on her

5) you could buy a big enough cat carrier, put a cat bed in there, and then put her in there every night while you sleep. or you can kick her out of your room at night when you are sleeping. those are two other ways to keep her from sleeping on your bed.

you've got a new friend, and she's a bit traumatized and just wants to feel safe and she's comfortable with you. maybe as some time passes, she might be less clingy with you, but right now she just wants to be with her safe haven. 

I hope others chime in with more advise. I've only touched about some stuff that has worked for me. good luck with your new kitty! ps...would love to see some pics of the Cutie

You can't even begin to understand how right you are when you say she has lots of energy. The other day, in order to get an uninterrupted sleep, I played with her and she ran until she was out of breath. If she had any kind of heart disease, she'd have a serious problem. I stopped and let her drink some water. She came to me, lied there. I went to bed. And not more than 2 minutes later, she was there to continue to play!

What do you mean "Do not play with her with your hand"? We might be a little late for this, but let's try to avoid this one haha.

Where I want her to sleep is big enough for her to consider herself not near litter box, but that's my idea of not being near the litter box lol. 

The problem with your suggestion about cat carrier is that, I love her when she wakes me up at 5:45 am. She is never early or late on that!

That's her, enjoying my bed: 

she is just too cute! and looks super comfortable!!!!!

1) the kitten energy is a bit difficult to deal with I know...but try playing with her, and then feeding her till she's good and full right before bedtime. it should help a bit

2) the cat carrier method has helped me. Although it has helped more in training my cats to not wake me up before the alarm goes off. I set an alarm, put my cats in their carriers, go to sleep. when the alarm goes off, i wake up, let them out, pet them and show them love. over time, i don't need the carriers anymore, because even though my cats sleep in the bed with me, they don't wake me until they hear my alarm go off. you might want to do the same. start using an alarm, and slowly start to make her get used to your sleeping schedule. now's the time to start

3) when i say, don't play with your hands, i meant don't use your hands as a toy for her to attack, interact, or play with. i'm sure that when she nibbles and scratches your hands now during play it feels cute and not so bad, but as she gets older, she will go for your hands again, and at that time it will not feel so good. also refrain from playing with her with your feet as well. any time she attacks your hands or feet and tries to initiate play, either distract her with a toy, or say no and move her away from you. over time she will learn that's not acceptable and there is no positive out come. but, i probably sound like a broken record, now's the time to start! there are little stuffed toys that look like mice...my cats love that. you can take some foil paper and wrap it up into a ball and throw it around..my cats love that. i usually put a bunch of cat nip in the middle of it. you should look for a wand toy, with a stick and string, with a toy or feathers at the end of it...my cats LOVE that...and i can use the toy at the end to guide my kitties back and forth through the whole room, making them jump up on to things and down again, they get tired quick. you can also use a laser pointer. 

the both of you have to get into the same routine. in no time you guys will mesh. kittens are disruptive to our routine and schedule, as they are on a different time table. you could always consider getting a second kitty, (preferably male and both should be fixed!), and follow proper cat to cat intros, they could get used to each other, and then keep each other company, and tire each other out. Just a thought, but its not necesarry

Thanks for your interest in my problems Here's my introduction post, with some more photos of her: http://www.thecatsite.com/t/285055/i-and-sak-z

She LOVES my feet and hands, it will be tough for both of us not to do it anymore, but we'll try. She goes crazy when we 'try' to sleep, so that looks nearly impossible right now.

I can't support two cats. I'm not at home for 13 hours. Sakız helps me with sleeping less, I try to help her with her excessive energy, failing so far. Another cat probably would mean more problems to us. 

I just got her, this is her 6th day, I guess (Lost the sense of time, thanks to her energy). The owner adores cats. He goes around and feeds all the cats in the campus. He told me that I should take her back to him if we don't 'click', you know. So I'm holding back from buying stuff for her.

I made some noise making, ball-like toys for her. She goes insane while playing with them. She loves ropes too.

I want to warn you about the laser pointer. I read somewhere that they don't give the closure feeling which they get when they catch a ball, or any other item, and it might be bad on their psychology. I read that about dogs, but could be the same for cats, you know. A car owner I know told me that it won't hurt if it's not excessive, but given her traumatized nature, I don't want to risk it. 

Anyway, I think I'm going to order a bed for her, and hope that she likes it more than my bed. 

Maybe it's an idea to get a cardboard box, or a bed, or any other thing she can sleep in and put it in the corner of your own bed. Near your feet. Cats love to crawl into anything (bags, boxes, cabinets, anything with holes big enough to climb in). This way she can still be in your bed, but not actually in your bed.

She just wants to be near you. If I were you I would not want to shut her out of my room, or lock her up in a carrier. That just sounds too sad to me.

My cats both sleep in our bedroom, and 9 out of 10 times they are actually in our bed. One of them wakes me up at around 3am and forces me to make room, so he can fall asleep with me. The other one wakes me up 2 hours later. Before that time they are usually sleeping at my feet. Or, occasionally on top of my closet, when they want some me-time, I guess.

Kittens are always a handful, but it will get better. Over time she will adjust to your schedule and leave you alone, or at the very least asleep. I would say, enjoy it. She likes you and wants to be near you. If she is really as traumatized as you say it's almost a miracle that she's so close to you so fast.

But anyway, try to give her her own place in your bed. When we just had our cats we ordered a strawberry cat bed on eBay and put it at our feet so they could sleep in there. They barely cost anything and my cats loved them. For example this one, in various sizes and colours: Strawberry Cat Bed

Good luck and enjoy that beautiful kitten.   

Don't get me wrong, she's been great. 

I've been cleaning the house, and there are no carpets on the floor, but she has no problem with it. I am not sure how she'll react when I put carpets back though. 

It seems the best way to deal with this is, putting her out of the bed when she messes with me. Her fingernails just like razors. And sometimes she gets hostile out of nowhere and uses them. Sometimes she bites, but I think she's playing. Although I'm not sure how strong she can bite right now, I'm going with this "She's just playing" thing for now

First time she went to the vet, I had to put her into a box. She doesn't like boxes as much as other cats. Maybe that's why. Or maybe they are too big or small for her to consider them as nice places. 

While I'm writing this, I observed a difference. She does not climb to my bed now. Normally, this is her "Sleep now so you can make his life miserable at night" time. But she just lies on the floor and watches me (Went to play with her toys now). 

She's difficult to understand This is my first pet, so maybe that's why, but I'm guessing that this is who she is.

My cats are not allowed in our bedroom because DH is allergic to them.  We started it this way from the beginning so that helped train them.  They do try to sneak up there since I've been letting them use our master closet as a safe hiding spot (from my young children) but they are 9 years old now; so well established in our routines.  They actually won't even sleep on my DD's bed.  They will sleep under the beds though.  When they were young kittens they slept in a large wire dog crate that was big enough for a small litter box, a bed, food, water and a few toys.  They could actually squeeze themselves under the doors at our old house; so the crate was a safer alternative for us.  This is the only picture I can find right now:


I think with cats; it's best to not let them in at all if you don't want them to sleep in your bed.  They will seek out that comfy and warm spot by nature.  I know some people have success putting a cat bed on their bedside table; but then again many cats ignore their beds.  

She is young; so she may get the idea of where is safe to sleep and where is not on the bed; that it's safer to sleep by your head or closer to the foo, etc..  I will admit; growing up my cats got kicked in my sleep by me. They adjusted and I also adjusted to sleeping with them.  

I do use a laser pointer.  We always end the game by pointing it on a favorite toy.  For example; I'll toss a mouse and point the dot there.  It does depend on the cat though; some are more easily affected by things than others.  I've also sent the laser pointer dot into a vent for the heat system on the floor or out the window.  I'd prefer to point toward a toy; but if you do out the window or in a vent; they might spend time looking for it to come back; just like a real mouse or bug that got away.  

Thanks for the advice, people. But I think I found my own solution Something unique maybe.

If I try to sleep with her, I mean hug her and don't let her go away, she kinda wants to go away  

I don't know if I mentioned this, but she ran away from her mother to live near a construction site, so maybe she doesn't like attention much. For the last 2 days, I found out that she would go away if I want her in my bed. She actually slept in her own room yesterday. And I think she did not sleep at all the day before yesterday. 

I'm gonna put this thing on test, but I think she just can't handle hugging and all that when she is trying to sleep  

Just please be careful with those kind of strategies. This way you could very well learn her to associate you with negative feelings. Cats do not like to be trapped. You should never force a cat to stay. Meaning, don't keep holding her against her will. Don't keep picking her up when she starts struggling. Don't force her into a hug when she clearly wants to leave.

If you keep doing this she might not was to get too close to you at all anymore, for fear of being trapped again.

Please just try to find a way for you guys to share the bed. I honestly don't understand why you don't want her on your bed AT ALL. It's one of the things I know most people love about cats. Cuddling with them, finding them there when you wake up, feeling them purr at your feet. 

I understand you don't want her to wake you up or force you into difficult positions at night, but if you could give her some time, and her own place inside your bed, I'm sure it'll all get better.

You don't want her to have negative associations with being near you, trust me.

Thanks for the warning!

Most of the time, I let her do whatever she pleases. 

I just fear that I might harm her in my sleep. I'm a crazy sleeper, so is she. I don't know, but I'm going to find a way which works well for both of us.  

I don't think you have to worry about that too much. Cats adapt really easy. My two cats might look at me with that "How dare you!"-look when I turn over in my bed and interrupt their sleep, or make them change out of their extremely comfortable (for them, not me  ) position, but they just move over. Or they are stubborn and lay ON my legs afterwards.

You will grow to know eachother and figure it out eventually. Just enjoy it!

You guys were right when you said it's nice to have her in your bed and we'd adjust in time. 

Now when I turn in bed, she looks at me and she's like she's saying "Dude! You ALMOST smashed me, but I escaped lol". And we both go back to sleep. One of the best things I experience with her.

 That is great!!  I'm really happy to hear you are adjusting to each other and enjoying it too!! 

That is great to hear! I know I wouldn't want to miss having my cats in bed, or waking me up in the mornings. Enjoy your beautiful cat.

kutubira said:

 
You guys were right when you said it's nice to have her in your bed and we'd adjust in time. 

Now when I turn in bed, she looks at me and she's like she's saying "Dude! You ALMOST smashed me, but I escaped lol". And we both go back to sleep. One of the best things I experience with her.

Click to expand...

I'm so glad to hear this!!!!

isn't she the best sleeping buddy???? Even tho that little thing ends up taking up the majority of your bed or pillow lol

I'm so glad that you are letting your kitten sleep in your bed now! From that photo, I don't know how you could ever kick her out of bed.

I completely understand not wanting your cat on your bed, but one of my sister's cats quickly wore me down. I had meant to have no cats in my room at first when I went to live there, but she would cry outside my door until I finally let her in. Then, I'd yell "No!" to get her off my bed until I just left her there because she looked so cozy. Cats seem to like the same places that you like. They are watching and learning. If you sleep on your bed, then it must be a nice place to sleep! My new cat quickly chose to sit wherever I sat...the same corner of the sofa, the same chair, my bed. Luckily, she doesn't seem to sleep exactly where I sleep. I don't think she uses her cat bed or the larger cat bed...:/ But who knows? Maybe she will later on or she does when I'm not around. Maybe I should try sitting on them to get her to like them!

The first few nights, I accidentally lightly kicked her off the foot of the bed when I was turning because she'd  sometimes sleep close to the edge. I was worried, but she quickly learned and either sleeps near the side of my head, at my left side (near the wall and away from the edge of the bed), or at the foot of the bed but in the middle towards the wall so she's safe.

@Lamiatron

We are fighting for the space in bed, and she proved to be a worthy opponent. Most of the time she uses the cuteness card, but sometimes she just does the same thing until I get bored and give her the space. 

@Bonitababy

You might be right about their ability to learn from us where the comfortable areas are. 

She now sleeps on my chair, where I spend most of my time studying. She did the same yesterday as well. And when I went to my bed to sleep (only 1 meter or so between these two), she woke up, checked me and then jumped to my bed to continue to sleep in the bed  

When she wakes me up in the mornings, she goes to the exact spot she found my body, and sleeps there. Maybe because it's still warmer than the other areas, but she does that, yes. Before doing that, she walks around with an erected tail. I read that it means that they declare their victory. So, we might also be fighting for the exact spot.

I was going to buy her a bed, but like you said, I might have to sleep on it for a couple of nights to get her at least try to sleep in that lol.

Well, she was a shy one and now she can tell that I'm the one who takes care of her, so she comes to my lap, jumps on me and all. She's not a playful one generally. And she's jealous of my laptop. Always tries to put it down and replace it. She usually succeeds. 

This is my first cat, but I'm enjoying her so much that she might have to have some company soon.