Kitty is biting and acting aggressve

I adopted my 5 year old spayed kitty in July.  It's been a bit of an adventure,  When I first got her, she was SO loveable and wanted to be in someone's lap constantly.  She sought affection all the time.  The shelter said she was such a lovebug.  I was thrilled to have gotten such an "easy" cat. Now this behavior has lessened.  She no longer seeks out our laps.  She does seek out affection, but this is where it gets tricky.  When she is teasing to be petted, she will purr and purr, rubbing her face on my hand.  Then she will suddenly snap and hiss and bite at me.  If you reach from above or approach her head on with your hand, she will aggressively grab you with both paws and bite.  Tonight this happened.  I firmly told her no and walked away from her.  She then rolled around like she wanted to be pet some more and I gave her a couple pets on the head and she purred.  She then hissed at me and sat up.  When I went to walk by she was staring at me kind of like she was daring me to cross her and grabbed my legs to bite me as I tried to go by her.  I'm really confused about her behavior. At first i thought she was just saying "enough petting!" but I don't know.  Her body language is very hard to read, and to complicate things, her tail is always swishing-whether she is happy or annoyed.  When she stands she wags it like a dog.

She has been to the vet twice in the past 2 months.  She is on topical medication for a nasty case of acne on her chin that is slightly inflamed, but that seems to be getting better. The vet confirmed she has several missing and broken teeth on her bottom jaw.  She didn't seem to think that there was anything there that would be painful.  Her eating, drinking and litter box habits are all good. I am wondering if maybe she was hit or kicked in the face and maybe this is where some of the aggression comes from?  I don't know much about her history other than she was abandoned outsideof a spay/neuter clinic with a note that her owner died but she was too aggressive with the cats of the person that took her in.My cat that passed away before her was abused before I got her, and she would cower if I reached from above to pet her or stood over her and petted her towards her face, but she was never aggressive.

Does anyone have any advice about my kitty?  I just adore her no matter what and am willing to be very patient with her.  I just want her to be happy and content and not feel she has to lash out.

MissMindy said:

 
Does anyone have any advice about my kitty?  I just adore her no matter what and am willing to be very patient with her.  I just want her to be happy and content and not feel she has to lash out.

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You're a good mommy!  What this sounds like, for the most part is a cat who is an "over-stimulator".  They love being pet, right up to the moment when they don't and then they turn (on you!).  They can't help this, but we can help them.

First, difficult as it may be, the goal is to prevent them from becoming over stimulated.  It is the act of becoming over stimulated that causes it become reinforced and repetitive.

Many cats will give a sign in advance of lashing out, and even though yours has an always swishing tail, there are other signs to look for including, dilating pupils, ears flatten or go back, she starts to give you a "hard" stare or she turns on her side.

You would think that turning on her side isn't a sign and that its more of a "come hither" sign of "pet my belly" but in cats who are getting defensive, it is the only body position that allows all 4 paws to scratch at the same time and for that reason it is also a well known defensive position.

If you can't discern and change in body language before she lashes out, the next thing to do is start timing her with a stop watch or second hand of a regular watch.  Hopefully, she will have some consistency and you will be able to say reliably that you can usually pet her for (example) 1min and 30 seconds before she lashes out.  Whatever the time may be, start petting her and timing her and never pet her so long that she lashes out.  We want her to stop experiencing that bad feeling she gets when she is pet too much so she starts to unlearn it, and de-stress over it. In this way (still timing her) your goal is to slowly increase the length of petting sessions so she can go for longer, understanding that there may be an eventual limit to what you can achieve.  Once you know her limit, then try not to take her past that.

In addition, you can use calming agents like Feliway Spray and plugins to lessen her environmental stress, and of course never play with her using her hands, always with toys that separate your hands from her claws.

Also, check out this article, http://www.thecatsite.com/a/cat-aggression-toward-people

Thank you so much!! I took your suggestions and we've had some improvement.  Her new favorite toy is a shoelace which is great at keeping our hands away.  Of course we don't let her have access to it unsupervised.

She has hissed at me 6 times over the past hour.  3 times as I had to step over her in the hall and 3 more times later on while petting her.  The last 3 came at once and I stopped immediately.  It's been a busy day here so I'm hoping she 's just stressed and grumpy and I may have interrupted her alone time.  I got her the feliway over the weekend so ill get that going and see what happens.  At least prior to that she wasn't hissing and lashing out as before.  She 's one tough kitty to read-but I love her grumpy and all!

PS thank you for the link to the article it was very helpful!

We're all happy to help!

My Chrissy was just like her, exactly TWO strokes was accepted lovingly, any more and she would lash out and growl. I accepted her for what she was and we got along beautifully, she would always seek me out to lay on my lap because she knew I would not 'bug' her. I always knew when she would lash out by her whipping tail. Her pupils would dilate right before too. You just have to find your kitties 'breaking point' and honor it. Good luck, she's still a lovable cat, just with limits!

I'm glad to know others have kitties with similar quirks!  We had some setback tonight where she grabbed my face with both paws and scratched me when I was bent down talking to her.  A half second before she was purring and looked so content.  I'm wondering why she was SO affectionate when I first adopted her.  She never sits in my lap anymore and doesn't really seek me out.  Should I maybe just ignore her for a while and see if that helps?  I don't mean neglect her or.anything like that of course, but maybe just leave her alone and see what happens? I don't want her to think I hate her.

yeah I think withdrawing is a good idea.You can play dead when she is aggressive,too.

My boy smoke took over 4 years before I could pet him,safely just between the ears for about three seconds.

I live in small apartment so I learned to not focus on him so much,and eventually he

calmed down.Seems strange she was cuddly to begin with.

This sort of sounds like my cat, Bonita... she also has acne on her chin that I was given topical medication for, but told I didn't need to apply it. Should I be checking her for her chin acne? They cleaned it before they gave her to me. After she came out of her hiding box, she looked ready to fight actually and cross. After I just sat on the floor, she calmed down. After I let her out of her room to the rest of the apt, she was SO sweet and looked innocent and loved to sit on my lap or lie on me on the couch. After a few days/week, that really lessened, she stopped purring, and she looked cross/aggressive sometimes.

She occasionally comes to lie on me though and sometimes cuddles next to me to sleep at night. I got her to purr once by ignoring her.

Honestly, I think my cat was so sweet and loveable at first for survival... Best to make the one person around you think you're so sweet. Probably was the "honeymoon" period. Now my cat's pretty comfy and is free to be herself...

She used to swish her tail a lot behind her. She doesn't so much anymore although she did just now when I was petting her. I think she was making sure I wasn't coming up behind her or going to suddenly touch her. I didn't so I see it as building trust.

I can only pet her 2-3 times usually before she will turn her head and quickly bite my hand but without breaking the skin. Now it's becoming a little longer sometimes, 4-5 times. If it's just the head, I'm allowed to pet longer.

I figure she's "like me". =/ Super nice sometimes and grouchy and b*tchy sometimes. =P When she's like that, I try not to interact with her. She gives me hard looks sometimes, but such innocent looks the other times. I already saw her "bad" side when I met her at the rescue shelter though. I was already set on getting her and drove 1.5 hrs. If there had been a selection of cats, like at a regular shelter, I know I would have definitely picked another one. >.

Oh, and my poor Bonita had 4 teeth extracted at the rescue shelter.

Strange...my cat was extra sweet last night and wanted a very extended head petting session and lay across my stomach for one hour! This morning she wanted some more head petting too...I can only think that last night I finally gave her her Iams kitten pate with chicken again after a week spent trying various Fancy Feast pates. She used to yell "Now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now!" until I got the kitten pate into her bowl...

I think she was more affectionate because of her food...she seemed happy like this but not nearly as much when I first gave her Fancy Feast turkey and giblets...

Previously she had turned more "aggressive", hiding and running in front of me instead of just "hiding" and watching my slippered feet walk around...also went after my hands with claws 1/2 out a couple times when I was picking up toys to throw to her. We play catch together. She's awesome at catching crumpled flyers in the air if I throw them at the right height (no too high) and also light, small toys!

I'm trying Sheba cat pate later on...but will be sure to give her more of her Iams kitten pate with chicken. I wish it was grain-free and healthier.

Thanks everyone!  We are a work in progress me and my sometimes grumpy girl.

@StephenQ  I did find out today that KeKe has fleas.  She's been an itchy cat most of the time I've had her, but neither my vet nor I saw flea evidence until I.combed some flea dirt out of her coat today.  We treated her with advantage tonight.  I'm curious as to if this could have had some influence on her grouchy behavior (outside of the play aggression)?  This is is.my first experience with fleas.  I hope this was ok to ask here since its kind of health and behavior combined.

Oh, great! I'm glad to hear that you figured out the problem so your cat can go back to being a sweetie. So it's just me with an on/off cat then?..o_o Ah, well, it keeps me on my toes & makes me always nice to kitty (minus my bad reason to our first tiff). I love her as she is as long as she never attacks me.

Well @Bonitababy  I don't know for sure if that's the issue.  I'm hoping it.might be part of it, but I think I will.always have to be aware with her.  I definitely don't use my hands when playing with her since that encourages her to bite me.  The article that @StephenQ  posted in his reply was really helpful.  I think all kitties are on and off, maybe that's why I like them so much-they remind me of me lol

@MissMindy, Well, I hope your cat feels better after the fleas are taken care of and stops biting and being aggressive.

My cat and I are in a new stage of our relationship! ^_^ This morning she tried to groom my hair...I think she has been happy lately with all the new stuff she has (there's still a ton of toys that I'm waiting to give later...). She loves her new Feline Greenies treats (chicken one & catnip one) and she got a new scratch pad/toy set thing from Petco 2 days ago that she really loves to lie next to. She also got a floor rope scratcher yesterday that she loves. I think the key to my kitty's heart is stuff! & the right treats!!! I gave her lots of toys the first week & 1/2, so I scaled back and didn't really give anything for the next week & 1/2 and didn't feel the love. :/ Also, was trying out different flavors of Fancy Feast Classic pate on her...she prefers her Iams kitten pate. :/ The last few days, I've suddenly felt the love!!