adpoting a miss treated cat

I adopted a 3 year old main coon cat a few months ago, he has been hiding under my bed the whole time. on the first day he did try to go threw my window but he hasn't done that since then. I have not seen him expect he has woken me up from being asleep while playing a few nights ago otherwise I don't even know he is there. 

 the last owner told me she had him as a kitten even though he was very shy would come out for her and let her pet him, otherwise he was under her bed or asleep on the sofa. but she would see him play with her other cats or dog  He also let visitors pet him.

She also told me that as a kitten she would hold and not let him run away, even though he was scared of her, until he purred and scuffed him to reminded him that she was mom and he was her kitten. I can't imagen doing that to him. She is strongly suggesting this treatment plain I won't do that to him it doesn't seem right. I had a feral for about 3 years I just waited until he came to me. it took about a year one of my other cats would head but him then nuzzle me then run back to him until he felt he could brave mom.

I'm trying to finger out how to help him, do I just keep waiting until he feels safe?

I stopped leaving food out if I'm not in the room keep that up?

I have a bed skirt over the frame take that off?

Should I try to get him to bond to my other cats?

-Ana

As he come out at night and did played, this is an encouraging sign, hinting there is a positive developing going on.  Although slow, there is.  Scared cats dont play.  

Re his past, I think you have right.  He must have felt mistreated.   This holding and scruffing is not necessary bad by itself.   I myself recommend sometimes to wrap a ferale kitten up in a towel, and held it at your chest,  singing and crooning...   But handhelding by sheer force is not good, no.

  Scruffing too is a technique useful in many situations.   But she must have overdone both these tricks for real.   Because if the kitten let be petted by visitors, but not by mom.... Its a very significant telltale.     A normal shy kittens does the opposite - nice with mom and family, but shy to strangers.

So you shouldnt make these mistakes, even with our improved technique of wrapping up in a soft towel.

So yes, continue to take it slowly but friendly.   Make sure he knows its you who comes with food!   So I agree perhaps not leave too much food out, but come o little but often, and preferably on the same time.   Perhaps even once in the night.   Observe, Im NOT saying you shall force him by hunger!  No way.  Never.  Im just saying, its good and wise he connects you  being the bringer of food and water and care.  

Talk much to him in a friendly voice.  Mak sympathetic noises.  Sing softly if you can.    A trick is you sit or lay down on the floor.  Have a matterass near his place...  And you do what you wish, surfing on your computer, read your books...  Yawn a lot,  standing on all fours, strech yourself forwards and backwards. "lazy cat just awake"   are really  friendly greetings by cats to their cat pals or human friends!

Have perhaps a relaxing, calm music on when you arent there.

Having a Feliway diffuser on may help.

RE letting him meet your (friendly) residents.   There are plusses and minuses.  With a rescued feral it would be a big plus. making him accept life inside.  And if nothing else, the residents would be like ambassadeurs.   He sees you are friendly and petting the residents, so he may dare too - cats DO learn from each other, especially if the others are  important to them, are friends.

But many experienced fosterer prefer to have the new be alone with them.  They want to be sure the cats becomes friend with the human.  They dont want to risk the cat finds friendships with other cats, and is contendend with just  tolerate the humans presence, without being bonded for real.

Anyways, if you have friendly resident,  I think you shall let them met.   And use the residents as your ambassadeurs.

Im sure others will chime in and fill up.

Good luck!

I don't believe in wrapping cats in towels and holding them against their will, or "scruffing" a cat (except in the most extreme situations), or otherwise trying to exert physical, human control over a cat that is feeling frightened and helpless. Just let the cat be. The cat I took inside last summer, Mia, is a feral who had been shot by someone. She still has the bullet lodged in her pelvis and she walks with a waddle, so I guess she qualifies as a cat who has experienced abuse by humans. She is not an affectionate cat at all, and it's taken a year for me to be able to pet her without getting scratched. However, she loves to play with the wand toy with me several times a day, and will sit by me when I'm sitting at my computer and make cooing sounds until I play with her, and sometimes she sleeps at the foot of my bed. She does not like my other 3 cats and they don't like her, but they co-exist peacefully. This is perhaps as far as she will go, but I love her and think she's adorable! I am giving her a safe, content life, and it doesn't matter to me if she's never a cuddly, trusting lap cat.

If your cat likes to play, try to engage him in play. Purchase a wand toy--most cats can't resist that--and it will provide interactive play between the two of you, which will go a long way in socialization and bonding. Get some catnip toys for him, too. Don't remove his hiding places. He needs to feel there is a safe place he can go to get away from you and the other cats when he's overwhelmed. Please leave out a bowl of dry food and some water for him so he doesn't need to stress over getting fed. If you're patient and kind and love him unconditionally, you will have a special relationship with him and he will come to love and trust you on his own terms.