Cat Introduction Woes

Haha, yeah the expression on Tempest's face is kind of priceless.

Update:

There have been very few changes. She still comes to hang out on the landing, he chases her back into her room. She doesn't scream or growl any more, just hisses at him and jumps back into her room.

Two things:

1) We bought some new furniture and rearranged the living room. Sinbad is loving  the changes. He gets comfy enough that even when Tempest hangs off the landing and squeaks, he just looks up and continues lounging. He still chases her, but at least now it's only when he's not lounging around. 
She is just the sweetest little cat. Purrs the instant I pick her up, and she'll just happily cuddle for as long as you hold her. Her foster mom says she gets along with the other cats, so the hope is that she'll let Sinbad snuggle her so he'll leave Tempest alone. She has fairly low odds of being adopted, as most people who look at her see her eyes and walk away afraid of health issues.

But I'm mystified by his complete lack of a response to the rubbed sock. I know he does respond to scent swaps like that, as the same trick with Tempest will cause him to rub against the sock and nuzzle it.

Lovely to see positive updates.  

My cats have always been used to me coming home with different animal scents on me from being with other people's pets etc and never reacted, even if I've been snuggled all over by entire (not neutered) cats.   I am sure if any of those animals came in to the apartment though, the reaction to their scents would be a different matter.  I think cats can tell if the scent is from another animal close to them or brought in on an object.   Also if it is the scent of an animal they already know and either like or dislike / perceive as a threat.   Still a good tactic for early introductions to new scents and potential housemates I think.

Well, time for an update!!

There has been no change in the relationship between Sinbad and Tempest. Nothing has changed, alas. But they probably will soon - 

After a long and varied process that has ended up feeling like it's fated, we did go ahead and adopt Oatmeal. Well, sort of adopt. Due to Sinbad's issues the shelter lets us temporarily foster cats to see how they'll get along here. So this afternoon after it felt like fate was smacking us upside the head, we brought Oatmeal home. She is currently chilling out in the bathroom.


So far things seem to be going well. She is super adorably affectionate. Although she was absolutely terrified, about 20 minutes after I settled her in the bathroom, I picked her up. And she immediately purred up a storm, snuggled up against my neck, bit my glasses, tugged them off and threw them to the floor, then proceeded to rub her cheeks all over my face. She loves to be held.

Sinbad is out of sorts, but not hostile at all. Unlike previous attempted adoptions, he is simply uncertain, and curious about the door. He keeps wandering by and staring at it with his ears pointed forward. He's even played with his favorite toy right outside, with Oatmeal right on the other side (my hubby was in with her to watch) staring outside. He's jumpy and a little scared sadly, but it seems to be going well overall. The only hiss that's been heard is one from him when I stupidly came at him after having been in the bathroom holding Oatmeal so I was covered in her smell.

She's scared but not cowering, and is exploring the bathroom, stopping to stare with curious forward pointing ears whenever Sinbad is outside the door.

So I am very hopeful.

She has settled in for the night. Enjoying the nest we made of our bathrobes.

Sinbad is still out of sorts, but it's only been a few hours so that's to be expected. Tempest doesn't care a whit that there's a new cat in the house, she even stole one of my hubby's shirts as she normally does, despite it being covered in Oatmeals' fur.

We are still trying to work on a name. We had decided on Galateia, but interacting with her more at home that name doesn't fit her.

What about Aerwyna? ('friend of the sea') or Nerita? (from the sea)

(trying to keep a nautical theme here )

I found this list that might be fun to look at

I really wanted Scheharazade or Shirzad but hubby refused. He is pondering Nephthys, I am pondering Nanshe.

One thing that does have me concerned is how tiny  she is. I hadn't realized how small she is! She's like kitten sized. Haven't weighed her yet, but I'm sure she's smaller than Tempest.



The same bear is in each picture. Does that give an accurate idea of their size difference? Not sure the perspective works for such a compare....

I like Nanshe better than Nephthys, myself. Scheharazade and Shirzad just seem too harsh/hard sounding for such a sweet girl :heart3:

I don't know what to say about her size. Maybe she was malnourished when little and it stunted her growth?

Oh I didn't mean concerned about her health, I meant about Sinbad terrifying her. Their size difference is even more marked than his and Tempest's. 

Hubby says he's more worried that she seems to like me the best, so Sinbad may squabble with her over mommy cuddling rights. 

Size isn't necessarily an indicator of confidence. Asha has our full grown labrador running scared of her, despite the size difference :lol3: Also, I believe @Kat0121's Sophie is tiny (almost kitten sized), but rules her house with an iron paw!

She is small enough to sit on my shoulder. She likes to perch there and nuzzle my cheeks, with her little paws gently kneading me. 

Sinbad is currently stationed outside the bathroom door. During breakfast he was in his usual place by Tempest's gate. So far this morning he is divying up his time alternating between the two ladies.

I am so envious:  not only do you have yet another super-snuggly cat, she fits on your shoulder.   I wish Mouse fitted on my shoulder so I could walk about with him, but he ends up draped over my shoulder and down to my elbow so I'm carrying him.       I'm with your hubby, there's a chance your biggest problem will be their tollerating sharing your snuggles.        It's great that Tempest isn't bothered by Oatmeal's fur / scent on stuff though, and if Sinbad and Oatmeal can be play and snuggle-buddies it might take some of the heat off Tempest so as to help her feel safer coming out when Sinbad is around (less likely to launch himself straight at her).  

Outmeal is gorgeous, I am in love with her already.   And beware petite kitties, they are often very bossy.        The changes of Sinbad managing to be the boss of a little female is small - he is likely to be far too keen to be pals and want to please her, while she will want to make sure he knows how to behave himself and not get in her way or mess up her home (not unlike a lot of humans   ).

I like wither Nephthys or Nanshe as names as their given qualities seem positive.  Also, what about Nephthys' sister - Isis?    

Isis was worshipped as the ideal mother and wife as well as the patroness of nature and magic. She was the friend of slaves,sinners, artisans  and the downtrodden, but she also listened to the prayers of the wealthy, maidens, aristocrats and rulers     (souce, Wikipedia)

Click to expand...

Hubby is now installing the door blocker so we control how far the door is cracked open. Wish us luck! Given how long this Tempest and Sinbad introduction has gone on, I am filled with hope and trepidation.  Will report back later once we've seen how the initial cracked door stage goes.

Meeting is over. We kept it brief, just a few minutes. Sinbad hissed, growled once, and hissed some more. Oatmeal spent the whole time ignoring him and trying desperately to escape. She wants out the bathroom to explore the house so badly.

But Sinbad did not attack, and I didn't read any real hostility in his hisses and growling. I asked my hubby what he thought, and he sort of shrugged as well. Sinbad was hissing but neither of us saw any actual hostility.

A few minutes of this, and we shut the door. Sinbad ran up to Tempest, and we put Oatmeal in the office so she had somewhere new to explore. I am keeping her out of Sinbad's favorite hiding spot, but other than that she's looking around and snuggling.

I think it went well?

edit: One thing I want to add is her tail is generally high in the air. We had a house full of people today, and she happily met them all and took scritches and even some cuddles. So she doesn't seem to be too scared.

Asha did a LOT of hissing (and even a little growling) at Shadow for a LONG time. There was no hostility there either - she was simply saying that she was unsure/anxious and telling Shad to keep his distance. From what you've said, that's exactly what Sinbad was doing too - and that absolutely fits with what I know of him. As he gets used to her the hissing will stop

Wonderful that Oatmeal has found her confidence so quickly :heart3:

Yeah.. he's been anxious definitely. But so far this morning he seems to be mostly back to his usual self. Bounding around with his tail high in the air and purring. Yesterday he forwent his usual mommy wake-up, but this morning I got the full snuggle purring routine as he walked up my body purring and nuzzling until I woke up to feed him. When the bathroom door is closed he mostly goes about his normal business, only stopping now and again to be curious at it. He sniffs with forward pointing ears. I know from being inside with Oatmeal that when he's there she does the same thing; approaches the door with forward ears to sniff curiously. That's why I cracked it after only a day; I see nothing but curiosity all around when it's closed.

One thing that both my husband and I have observed - ever since the cracked door last night when he hissed at her ... he seems to be realizing that hey wait, maybe there is something to Tempest's hisses. He still charges at her as usual, but when she hisses and retreats, there's this odd pause from him that is reminiscent of his "thinking" pose. 

I just wish it was going faster. It's breaking my poor heart to hear her crying in the bathroom. She loves us so much, and wants to be out snuggling and loving all the time. But I am doing my best to not rush this, and make sure Sinbad gets lots of love and attention so he isn't afraid that he's being replaced.

One thing that  I did notice when she was in the office - she sniffed around curiously and explored everywhere. It was obvious that she knew when she had found Sinbad's favorite spots because she would stop and give each one a more thorough sniffing. But she never tried to mark any of them. Sinbad and Tempest both refresh their claims when in the office, but Oatmeal just wandered around. She found one little spot that neither of the resident cats have ever claimed and settled in there as hers. But that's all - even when she was rolling around getting scritches on this chair that is covered in Sinbad's fur, she was careful to keep her cheeks away from it, and didn't use her paws. 

SUCH a considerate and respectful girl :heart3: This is sounding better and better with each update ...and it sounds like it may have the totally unintended effect of teaching Sinbad how to stop overwhelming Tempest and listen to what she says oh: Getting very excited for your fur family here :cross:

Yeah, she's got all the cat etiquette that Sinbad lacks. 

I feel so so much better now that he's given his usual purr wakeup, and I've seen his happy trot. It's this curious sort of bounce. He walks that way when he is feeling particularly happy.

Hilarious mini-update!

Oatmeal made an escape attempt! I was snuggling with her when my hubby unexpectedly opened the door. Oatmeal was out of the room in a flash! She spotted Sinbad and excitedly charged him!

Sinbad .... hissed, jumped 2 feet into the air, and ran away!

Hubby managed to catch her and put her back, I somehow managed to stifle my laughing to comfort Sinbad. I threw him onto his favorite blanket and roughhoused with him util he rumble purred and ran off with his tail in the air. What a reversal!   

           Sinbad is such a silly cat.      I love it.   I wonder if he had his thinking face on again when he finally stopped running and his little kitty heart stopped racing.      Bless.   

I now have a vision of Tempest sitting at some safe vantage point, quietly s******ing away to her self as Sinbad finally experiences what life is like when you get charged by an over enthusiatic admirer who wants to make friends.    

Best news so far is reading that both Sinbad and Oatmeal have their tails up in the air.      

Seriously, it sounds so different to how everything has been with Tempest and Sinbad, and Oatmeal comes over as very experienced in having to settle in to new and shared surroundings.   Hopefully, if she can curb a little of her enthusiasm (unlike Sinbad with Tempest) they will be able to have a mutually positive encouter really soon.  If you don't sense aggression from either of them maybe you should try letting them share open space while both you and hubby are there to intervene with blankets if necessary?   Maybe they will be capable of skirting around and sorting things out if given the oportunity.