Cat Introduction Woes

Time for an update - 

Not much has changed. But we do have confirmation (as close as we can get to confirmation with cats at least) that the key is indeed giving Tempest time out of her room to explore. They were getting along really really well and we were considering another face to face try this weekend if it kept up  - but then both my hubby and I came down with the plague.

Both cats have lost huge amounts of interaction time, and Tempest has lost her daily exploration - and she reverted back to hissing at Sinbad on sight. When we noticed this yesterday, we locked Sinbad with me in the bedroom and my husband took her out of her room for as long as he had the energy to stay out of bed, and the rest of the evening was quiet, with no hissing.

So I'd say things are still going very well, and I remain rather hopeful. We just have to survive through this nasty plague.

Plague is always going to be bad, and very disruptive to cat routines.     I hope it clears quickly and your home can resume normal integration plans again soon.   With any luck both Sinbad and Tempest will have some empathy senses for humans as well as cats and both decide that snuggling their resident humans is a necessary part of your healing.   You never know, it might even help them overcome their usual differences. 

Losna said:

 
Time for an update - 

Not much has changed. But we do have confirmation (as close as we can get to confirmation with cats at least) that the key is indeed giving Tempest time out of her room to explore. They were getting along really really well and we were considering another face to face try this weekend if it kept up  - but then both my hubby and I came down with the plague.

Both cats have lost huge amounts of interaction time, and Tempest has lost her daily exploration - and she reverted back to hissing at Sinbad on sight. When we noticed this yesterday, we locked Sinbad with me in the bedroom and my husband took her out of her room for as long as he had the energy to stay out of bed, and the rest of the evening was quiet, with no hissing.

So I'd say things are still going very well, and I remain rather hopeful. We just have to survive through this nasty plague.

Click to expand...

MServant said:

 
Plague is always going to be bad, and very disruptive to cat routines.

    I hope it clears quickly and your home can resume normal integration plans again soon.   With any luck both Sinbad and Tempest will have some empathy senses for humans as well as cats and both decide that snuggling their resident humans is a necessary part of your healing.   You never know, it might even help them overcome their usual differences. 

Click to expand...

I was waiting all week for an update, and now I understand that the humans got sick..   though...I am so hoping that 'plague' means something entirely different than what it means over here.   I'm hoping its just a cold, virus, or short flu...and not something more drawn out.  Chicken soup, plenty of rest, fluids, herbal teas...are usually called for. 

I cannot remember if you said...@Losna   does Sinbad act all upset when he's placed in Tempest's room, and she is allowed to wander? Is that when he throws himself at the gate? It will be interesting when you recover, and set up that room for 'high and low places' to escape to,  and then see how both cats react.  Kind of good that Sinbad cannot jump up, allowing Tempest to escape, and rest.

Hope you both feel better.

Both cats had a very good day today, with lots of snuggling. Sinbad the caretaker decided that daddy needed a nurse, and spent all day on his feet making sure he stayed resting. The only break time was when hubby went up to spend time with Tempest, who sat on his back. Apparently he tried to recline in the chair, but she perched on his shoulder and playfully swatted at him until he lay down on the floor on his stomach so she could sit on his back. 

I even had a chance to go spend time with Tempest since Sinbad was so obsessed with my husband, so Tempest was a very happy cat indeed. The hostility was low, even when Sinbad went up to pester her.

@cat nap   To give you some idea ... while it's not the actual plague, this is the second time in the 12 years I've been with my husband that he's been sick. The CDC has declared the area where we live to be an epidemic level zone. Many stores have little stands with those disposable masks, and I've actually seen people wearing them. Just about everyone I know is sick, and has been sick multiple times in the past few months. It's pretty nasty.

Sinbad attacks the gate when I'm in Tempest's room. Although he's been getting better about it recently.

This illness of yours has got me worried. What is it exactly?

@Stewball  A mutated strain of h3n2. There's a big huge serial number or something after it that I can't ever remember.

I think we're going to turn into zombies. 

Thank you for the concern, but we're not bad enough to be hospitalized so no need to worry. It's just a matter of toughing through it. 

Wow, @Losna....You have some very special cats there.  When I have a cold, and am coughing, hacking, congested....I don't think my cat stays around, but rather finds a quiet spot elsewhere, to sleep.  And you have both a 'foot warmer' (Sinbad),  and a 'back warmer' (Tempest).  That sounds nice. 

I've always managed to get 2 major colds per year, one in winter and one always sneaks up in late summer/autumn.  (And it does feel like we turn into zombies too, though zombies seem to be more active...at least on t.v....they're always walking.)     

You have to rest up with that flu, and drink plenty of fluids. And dream of beaches, gentle breezes, or the opposite...watching soft falling snow, while snuggled nicely indoors.

@Losna   If this plague flu you have can turn you in to zombies it's a wonder your kitties haven't become completely stressed out and tried to gang up together and barracade themselves in Tempest's room!   I hope you and your husband recover very soon (though maybe not tell Tempest and Sinbad so they continue with the back warming and foot warming practices).   I wonder if Tempest knows about the theories going around about how purrs help heal our bodies - so laying on your husband's back might be very good for his lungs and help overcome the virus.  You'll have to see if you can get Sinbad to like laying on your back too. 

Aside from the sickness taking over recently, overall it sounds much calmer between your cats so my fingers are crossed that they continue to be more relaxed about each other and start to feel comfortable in each other's company.

A new possible playmate for Sinbad just appeared at the shelter. I was going to take time pondering because she's so pretty I'm sure someone would adopt her, but they said that she's such a pretty cat they're going to carefully screen anyone who wants her, to avoid sending her to a home where someone just wants a "decorative cat." So I may try and take her tomorrow for this week to see how she and Sinbad interact because that just sounds horrible.

She apparently loves other cats. So it sounds like a good possibility. We shall see what happens tomorrow. Every time I think that about a cat they get adopted within the day. I can't say that's a bad thing though.


We're both mostly recovered at this point, huzzah.

Tempest had some play time out of her room, which makes her happy. Still looking good for increased enforced time outside her room without him being the key for them to get along.

 I thought a paw comparison would be interesting, so you all can see why she's so terrified of him. She looks bigger than she is in her pics and he looks smaller, so it's difficult to see the huge size difference between them unless you're right there with both of them. It was difficult to keep them at the same overall image scale because he kept trying to escape the camera and she kept trying to get her face into it

She's a very pretty kitty but don't you think you're biting off more than you can chew? You're still introducing these two. Where will you put a third cat?

@Losna  Do you have a space lined up for where you will be able to offer this new cat a quiet space and make sure no health issues before starting to add to your introductions?   She does look irresistible  but I can't help worry for you when Tempest and Sinbad appear to be finding a way of coexisting.  I'm sure you know what you're doing though.  

The paw comparison is interesting.     At 2 lb heavier and significantly larger Sinbad must be quite a sight bounding towards Tempest - esp from her perspective.   That said, most multiple cat households I know with a little female neuter and a large male neuter - it's the little female who's the big boss!   

@Stewball  , @MServant    Yes, we have considered all of the pros and cons, and discussed it thoroughly with the shelter where we volunteer/would adopt. Usually when we see a cat that might make a good companion for Sinbad, we give them several weeks at the shelter, at least. The reason being, any cat we took would be temporary until we saw how it interacted with Sinbad. So we want them to have every chance possible to be adopted by someone who would be definitely adopting permanently before we do a trial fostering.

Thus far, there have been several cats that we've considered this with - and like Tommy, every single one of them was literally adopted the very day we were going to bring them home. I really am expecting to find Daphne adopted tomorrow. 
We're not considering getting a third cat because we want a third, but because we think that Sinbad is so desperate to have a cuddle buddy the best solution might be to get him a snuggle/groom buddy and then Tempest can have the space she wants without worrying about Sinbad the giant cuddling barbarian barreling at her out of nowhere. But making things worse is a big fear, thus we spoke with the shelter to see what they thought, and they suggested we foster any cat that seems like a good match for him to see how it goes.

We have plenty of space for another cat. We bought a 4 bedroom house ........ had been living in a 1 bedroom apartment. So we have many empty rooms still. We greatly underestimated how expensive it was to furnish a house. The time it's taking me to re-arrange the house isn't because we have lots of furniture, it's because we still haven't unpacked a lot of stuff so there are a couple of rooms just full of randomly placed boxes with no regard for space or organization.   

MServant said:

@Losna
 Do you have a space lined up for where you will be able to offer this new cat a quiet space and make sure no health issues before starting to add to your introductions?   She does look irresistible  but I can't help worry for you when Tempest and Sinbad appear to be finding a way of coexisting.  I'm sure you know what you're doing though.  

The paw comparison is interesting.  :nod:   At 2 lb heavier and significantly larger Sinbad must be quite a sight bounding towards Tempest - esp from her perspective.   That said, most multiple cat households I know with a little female neuter and a large male neuter - it's the little female who's the big boss!   

Click to expand...

Whisky is very petit and blighty is about double his size but whisky is alpha and certainly drummed it into blighty when he was small, younger.

  Sinbad definitely looks like a kitten.     I have to keep reminding myself he's 2 years old and no tiny kitty at that.   He's like Mouse, he knows how to get people pampered.

Your home sounds great for managing introductions, esp if you are able to open up the time Tempest and Sinbad are around each other.  I now have a lovely vision of a massive house with very little furniture but nicely decked out with cat trees, 'wall runs' and kitty gym areas.       What could be more perfect for a fur family of 3?   You have certainly demonstrated that you have the patience to work through any introductions they all need if the initial meeting feels positive.

@MServant   Yeah ... I live with them and even I have to keep reminding myself that he significantly outmasses her.


VS


@Stewball  Like whisky, tempest will definitely be the dominant cat despite the size difference, once she is confident enough to smack him around. Actually, I suspect he'll adore her even more. He definitely views being disciplined and shoved around as confirmation that he's loved/a part of the family.   

Things have been quiet today so I have very little progress to report. The nasty weather has everyone curled up and snoozing. Tempest is on her post napping, and Sinbad is curled around his fox buddy. My husband is asleep on the couch. I'd be napping too but I promised hubby I'd roast a chicken tonight for dinner so I have to be paying attention to the kitchen. On the plus side that means it's been hiss free thus far.

But we are spared the decision of whether to try taking Daphne today or not, as the foster family that has her currently was snowed in.

Losna said:

VS

1519177_539634799474708_2128350473464436_o.jpg

• losna
• Mar 1, 2015

...............

But we are spared the decision of whether to try taking Daphne today or not, as the foster family that has her currently was snowed in.

Click to expand...

    Yep @Losna, I can see what huge and scary monster cats they both are!       They are truly terrifying(ly cute) to look at.      

    When will the next oportunity to find out about the potential foster / adoption of kitty number 3 be?   Is the snow really bad in your area or will things hopefully clear in a day or so?

@MServant   Funny you should ask. Hubby JUST  got back from the shelter. They managed to get out of the snow and bring her in, but she was adopted immediately. By a known family, so Daphne isn't being a decorative cat. Yay for her!

Boo for us missing out on another possible kitty, but I still feel that however sad I am when that happens it's better for a cat to be adopted for certain than to come here for a trial. 

   @Losna   As I started to read your post my heart lifted and skipped a beat, then fell down to earth as I read the ending to your day's events.  What an emotionally exhausting day!   Hard when you have it all planned out in your head what you can do to work with a sitution and what your family will be like.    There's a phrase I heard a few years back, can't remember who said it to me, but it's one I have used a lot ever since and really do believe it's true:

What's for you won't go by you.    In other words if it's right for you it will happen and if it isn't it will pass, and the right thing will come along later.  It is lovely that you have the knowledge she went to a caring family, that must make it easier to accept.  

@MServant     I just tell myself I am a magical kitty adoption fairy. 

Time for another update. 

Tempest's enforced visits to the rest of the house have continued. She is most comfortable in the office, but her comfort zone has expanded now to include the bathroom and half of the hall. She will play a bit in the dining room and sit with my husband on the couch in the living room. The living room itself is still too scary for her to leave the couch, but when he started she wouldn't let him sit down with her so just sitting with him is an improvement.

Every time Sinbad is let back into the main house after her visits, he thoroughly explores every inch of where she's been. 

In terms of their interactions - it's still about the same, with one odd difference. Sometimes when she hisses at him now, it's done without any aggressive body language. I don't know what to make of it, but hissing without aggressive posturing seems like an improvement over hissing with aggression? Can anyone interpret what that might mean for me? I was watching it just now, and it almost seemed like they were playing, but wasn't quite where I would call it play. But it still wasn't hostile, despite the hissing.

She's not backing down anymore either. Even when she is aggressively hissing, she'll stay right where she is. She used to hiss, claw and then run to hide. Now when she's being hostile she hisses and swipes (I'll note that even when she does swipe she keeps her claws retracted) but stays put and he's the one who ends up backing away.

So it's another small step forward overall, I think?