Desperate! At the end of my rope.. long post.

I am having major problems with my cat, and am at the end of my rope. This is going to be lengthy- but I appreciate any feedback or advice.

Some background on him. I have seven animals- three small dogs and four cats. The problem cat is my first, Gepetto. He joined the home with only two dogs, and was followed shortly thereafter by my second cat that was very close in age as his “littermate”. Gepetto was a bottle fed baby, and was always a little strange and reclusive. Because of this, I never did bond with him the same way I did my other animals- he keeps to himself and hides most of the time. He doesn’t have an issue with the dogs, and loves his “littermate” kitty. So I never quite understood his behavior, but just let him be. Over the years two more stray kitties and our last dog have joined, and never have we had any disputes or rivalries. It really is very calm.

The cats have been a one box household (large, large box). I have added boxes in the past, but they always continued to use one singular box- so that is what we’ve maintained. I never once had an instance of a cat going outside of the litter box. And Gepetto continued to live his life under the bed/behind the couch, and come out really after midnight to play with the other cats/dogs. They are also indoor cats, with plenty of windows. Gepetto has never showed interest in going outside.

Last year we made a long distance move, and my husband and I lived separately for about five months due to work. It was just me and the cats, and Gepetto seemed to settle in just fine and actually be a little more active than previously. However, when my husband moved home (this is the only event I can attribute this to, even though he lived his whole life around my husband whom is an animal lover) he began to poop in the corner of the formal room on occasion. Over time, the random occasion turned into every time he pooped. I tried changing the litter, the type of litter box (from covered to uncovered) but no change. After several months of this, we furnished the room- and he began to pee in his corner as well. It was NOT spray, but urine puddles. In rebuttal, I cleaned the area VERY well and put a litter box in his corner as well as added several more litter boxes throughout the house. Within 48 hours of creating what is theoretically an ideal environment of potty options, he jumped on the bed and peed on me.

I made an appointment at the vet the next day. $300 in tests later, he is in perfect health. The trip to the vet was so traumatic for him; however, he peed all over himself in the crate.

The vet prescribed anxiety medication for him. He will not take it via pill pocket, mixed in tuna, and I am afraid to medicate him via pill shooter because I know it will be traumatizing for him. (I had to administer antibiotics twice a day after a very unfortunate giardia outbreak amongst the cats, and he to this day does not trust me). I even crushed the pill, mushed it in cream cheese and smeared it on his leg in hopes he would groom himself… but he just walks around covered in cream cheese.

I had to lock the cats out of our room at night, as I do not want to be awakened to cat urine or poops in my bed (go figure). This has equated to HORRIBLE sleep. The cats sing the song of their people outside the door, the youngest dog wants out to play with her cat, ect ect. Not only this, under my bed was one of Gepetto’s few “safe places”. So I’m sure this has stressed him out more. He started taking residence behind the washing machine, which will not due because I can’t run it with him back there. So, too give the cats more private space, I reluctantly opened the guest room for them with a dog gate and sprinkled some cat tents around the house. Gepetto does not like to be high, he is a “bush cat” for sure.

Well, his behavior is just getting worse. Every morning, after horrible sleep I wake up to find cat poo (little bits, like he saves it and sprinkles it) EVERYWHERE. Drop here, drop there. Next to the food dish, on the couch by his corner, on the couch next to his window, outside my door, UNDER THE BED in the guest room. Oddly, no urine (lately). Just poop sprinkles.

I am at the end of my rope. I have given him extra, private potty places. More places to hide. Trying to medicate him (admittedly unsuccessfully, hard to medicate a cat you can’t find, get out of their hiding place or get to take a pill in general). He does not like me- he won’t come to me. He doesn’t seem to mind any of the animals- no personality conflicts that I can see. He won’t play with me (but he will with the youngest dog).

The vet doesn’t really have advice. He’s not aggressive- just horrified at everything. And, he’s young… maybe around four years old. I’d take this behavior with a little more grace if he was elderly, or ill- but he’s not. And not responding to anything I try. If anything, responding in a more negative way.

I cannot continue to live like this. My life revolves around giving these animals the best home and life possible- but this dang cat is making me resentful. I’ve probably spent $500 or more on this so far- really on a cat that I do not share a bond with. I’ve done it mainly because I’ve made a commitment to this animal. But how far does it go? Do I resign myself to finding cat sprinkles for the next ten years? Being paranoid that the bedroom door was left open and I may as well kiss my foam mattress goodbye? Fearing company will smell cat poo that's been cleverly hidden behind the piano? Black light testing the carpet every night? Walking on eggshells because I don’t want to stress him out? Putting off installing new flooring because I don’t want to upset his balance? Refuse to vacation because no one can pill him but me?

I guess what I am looking for, is any thoughts on improving the situation. Or, thoughts on what point is appropriate to consider finding him a new home. The problem is, I don’t think ANY home will suit him. We live a quiet, childless life. No upset. No visitors. No changes. In cat world, our house really can’t get much more mundane. And just to be clear, I've never given up an animal. I am a firm believer in keeping a commitment to them. HOWEVER- I am also a firm believer in my sanity. The fact that I'm even contemplating re-homing him says a LOT about how frustrated I am. And above all, he's clearly unhappy. He's stressed. And I don't know how to fix it for him.

Something has GOT to give! HELP!

Hi and welcome to the cat site.

I don't consider myself an expert in cat behavior, but do have quite a bit of knowledge that might bring out a couple of tips for you until another of our members chimes in to help you with your problem child.

Because it is peeing AND pooping, I would def. consider this a non medical issue here, he is unhappy about something for sure.

Just to throw a few things out there, how is his poop anyway? Usually when cats poop they poop in one pile. If you find random droppings, are they wet? Hard small poops?

Does he want to go outside?

If so then despite how I don't like to recommend it, that could solve the problem. He sounds like he was semi-feral to begin with, and might enjoy his outdoor freedom, as long as it's safe of course.

There are also feliway diffusers, they are like calming aromas that often will help.

Have you contacted an animal communicator? Yes, sounds hokey but you just might find a good one and be quite amazed. That is why I am now a believer.

Thank you for your response!

His poops are normal, not wet. Generally, they are in one location via a pile- but lately he has been leaving little droppings around. As if it's one movement that he's pinching off, for lack of a better term, in various areas. Some have seemed a little hard, but it could also be the cream cheese to the leg causing this. Or the medication in general. But most of the time, very normal.

He has never had an interest to be outside. I don't think he's ever stepped foot outside. He was bottle fed, and then an indoor cat. I lived on a greenbelt in my old home that was bordered by two very busy streets- so I didn't think it was a good idea. I could presumably "cat proof" the yard- but while the other cats would probably think it was super I don't see him caring much. He window watches, but has never made an attempt to venture. I think we took him in the backyard once... and he was scared. I honestly don't think he'd last very long if he got over the fence or face to face with, say, an aggressive dog either.

I have liberally sprayed the house in the cat calming pheromone spray. I don't have diffusers, because my floor plan is really open and I'd probably need 900 of those things at $20 a pop. So I just spray the areas he generally likes to be.

What is so odd is I can't pinpoint what he could be so unhappy about. The behavior started slowly, about the time my husband moved back home after five months of being apart. But he's never disliked my husband any more than me... so who knows. He was fine with the move it seemed, until then. Seems odd the behavior would emerge after living in a new place nearly half a year. It did seem furnishing his poop room triggered him to pee there, however. But it's like he's just flipped out.

I've never heard of an animal communicator- but I watch a lot of shows and have done research in regards to this cat. But he seems very unusual in his behavior. Like, only partially fitting into "categories" of cat-isms. I feel like I've done all the textbook things... which is why I have no clue what to do at this point. Also, if I announce to my husband that I want to spend another couple hundred dollars on this cat (especially if it's a cat whisperer) he'd probably put me and the cat outside. I've really been racking it up lately- with the vet bills, medication, pill pockets, new litter boxes, tons of different litters, pheromone sprays, cat tents, dog gates, gallons of Natures Miracle...

It is so hard to know what is going on in kitty's mind.  There could be a few issues here and even a combination of issues.  At the time he started going outside the litter box, had you changed your brand of litter?  How many other pets did you have at the time Gepetto stopped using the litter box?  When he first did this, was he scolded?  The only reason I ask this is that if a cat is scolded or punished (and actually any animal) by anyone, they are going to associate pooping and peeing with punishment and they will go in different areas out of fear.  How often is the litter box changed?  I know you mentioned that he is a bit reclusive but even reclusive cats need positive reinforcement.  What if you were to try just you and Gepetto time for about a half an hour each day.   I could go on and on with ideas but I have to agree with catwoman707 about seeking the assistance of an animal communicator.  This would be money well spent and could be solved fairly quickly.  I know you would like to see Gepetto a happy and healthy kitty.  You and Gepetto are in my thoughts.  Don't give up and do keep us updated. 

I hadn't changed the litter brand... but I've never been super consistent either. Usually the Target "Boots and Barkley" unscented, but I'd buy other things if they were on sale and never had issues. I did switch back to only the unscented clumping however.. not that he cares (lol).

All animals lived in the home when Gepetto started. The last dog, a rescue poodle mix puppy, had joined about six months prior. However he seems to enjoy her- he will play with her and such. The poodle loves her cats. Really, I've never had a dog that loves cats more than this one.

I only scolded him once that I can recall- when I finally figured out who the midnight poop phantom was. I mean I have four cats, it took a bit. If memory serves me right I yelled his name across the room. I didn't approach him or anything. I believe that was the only incident, most likely around March. My husband wouldn't scold or yell, so I don't think he would have instilled fear into kitty.

As far as frequency of changing litter box, that honestly depends. When it was a single box, I did a full litter change/box cleanout twice a week (every Tuesday and Friday!) and scooped in-between. Now, with more boxes I'm trying a slightly different approach with significantly more litter in the pans to avoid full box changes so often (it's working) and just daily/every other day scooping. With the exception of my husband being in charge when I'm out of town, the litter boxes were always pretty clean. And even when my husband was in charge and I'd come home to a weekend worth of cat waste buried on top of each other (gross), they never ever went outside the box. I mean these guys, overall, are total champs.

Last night, my husband happened to see him out in the kitchen on his was to eat so I had him stop and pet him while I popped his kitty Prozac down the gullet with an already prepared cat piller. I'm afraid I'll never see improvement if I can't get medication in him. No cat sprinkles today- but that's really just because he's not a daily pooper by the ways of nature.

I do know he likes lasers. The only toy he did enjoy as a young guy. We haven't had a laser since the cats killed the last one, before we moved. Probably the only time I could have him out with the other cats AND people was with that toy. I think I'll order one today for him, see if I can't lure him out and make him more comfortable.

I really do need to exhaust every angle before I pay for a cat therapist. Seven animals is very expensive as-is- and we've averaged well over $300 in very bills monthly for the last several months between random dog stuff, (oh you know, that one time the puppy ate bubble gum with xylitol) and my other dog is epileptic and is constantly getting expensive blood work/meds/emergency meds. Yes, it is what it is, it's what we signed up for- but I mean c'mon man we want to retire too haha.

So on that note, any other toys or cat activities that could build confidence anyone can recommend? He likes to hide in the tightest of places, but never things like boxes or other typical cat hidey-holes. I think he wants an escape route, and to not feel trapped. So I'm also trying to think of more places I can make for him around the house... so he's not feeling like he can only be behind the couch or under the guest room bed.

Thank you again for the responses!