RECIPE – “Best Rum Cake Ever”

(JOKE Recipe–this recipe has been checked for typos…there are none.)

Ingredients:

1 or 2 quarts rum

1 tsp. baking powder (not gun)

4 C flour

1 tsp. favorite essence

1 C butter

1 tsp. baking soda (unflavored)

1 C sugar

lemon juice

2 large eggs

brown sugar

1 C dried fruit  & nuts (no bolts)

Directions:

1. Before you start, sample the rum  to check for quality. Good, isn’t it? Now go ahead.
2. Select a mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc., Check the rum again; it must be just right.
3. To be sure the rum is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat this step.
4. Then with an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter into a large fluffy bowl.
5. Slowly add 1 cup thugar and beat well.
6. Meanwhile, make sure the rum is still of the highest quality. Try another cup.
7. Open 2nd qt. if necessary.
8. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups of our, and 1 cup of fried druit and beat until high.
9. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
10. Sample the rum again, testing for tonscisticity.
11. Next, sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn’t matter). Sample the rum again.
12. Sift 1/2 pt. lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts.
13. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar or whatever color you can find. Wix mel.
14. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees.
15. Now pour the whole mess into the oven and ake.
16. Check the rum again and bo to ged.

~ Unknown

(as modified by Auntie)

 I've seen a similar recipe to this. Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

  I wonder if this is the recipe my husband used a few years ago?  I'm sure he skipped all the testing parts because he doesn't drink much at all.  I requested a chocolate rum cake for my birthday.  It was the first and last cake he ever baked.  My parents and I were the only birthday guests thankfully.  It was....potent.