Still feeling guilt

I'm convinced that I did the right thing by taking my Sally to the clinic to have her put to sleep. What bothers me is my visit to the clinic. On the day I took her in, I gave her her favorite food, cuddled her and told her how much I loved her and thanked her for being such a good cat and good company, then I took the carrier to the car and went back into the house to get her. When I put her into the carrier, she went right in without any fuss and laid right down as if in relief, like she knew. On the way to the clinic, which is 7 miles out of town, I talked to her a little bit, but not as much as I should have. She looked at me from inside the carrier in such a calm relaxed way like she was comfortable in there. When I got to the clinic, the vet took her to put her catheter in while I was paying the vet bill. That's when I broke down. Then I went into the room where the euthanizing was to take place. I couldn't control my emotions, so the vet let me have some time alone with her. I only spent about a minute kissing her and telling her goodbye and thanking her for being such a good cat. I told the vet she could come in and then the procedure took place with me holding onto her shoulder and petting her. it only took a minute or two and then her heart stopped and she went limp. The vet told me that I could spend more time with her, which I did, telling her goodbye, but again I only spent about a minute because I was upset. I feel that I did everything right except spending a little more time with her before and after she crossed the bridge at the clinic. That's part of what's making my grieving process so hard, plus, I miss her so bad!

There's never a perfect ending for many of us glen cat man. Many of us here are in the same boat as you. Honestly, if I had the ending you had, I'd be a happy man. My ending for me personally was hell and honestly, yours sounded perfect. There's always grief, guilt and regret for so many after. What you're going through is normal. Believe me. Have a read through many posts on here, one started by denardis, and mine.

For you the positives are your cat seemed content with it all. By the way he went into the cage. I just remembered that when my cat was going to have his op, he wouldn't come out of the cage. They had to shake it to get him out. Far out. Take solace in the fact you were at the end, I wasn't. Believe me yours could have gone far more bad that what you think. Take a read thru my thread titled I lost my cat 4 days ago. You will see how you did so many things well, so many things I didn't which are plaguing me over 4 weeks later.

Many of us here can relate to your pain. And the end isn't easy, it was hard for you . Because you loved your baby and your baby loved you. Take it from me my friend you handled it well and be thankful it went smoothly. I'm sorry for your loss. You will grieve, you will doubt. But in time u will see you did the right thing and did so well with tr situation. Many of us here would love to have the ending you had.

Take care of yourself, and god bless you and your pet who is now resting in peace. Take care my friend.

Peace

Also in the moment, it's sometimes hard and as I said it can't be perfect. It's like firing a gun at a shooting range under no pressure, and firing one at an armed robber who's firing back at you. Under pressure, things are different, the mind races, the heart beats faster, our decision making becomes hindered. You did well. My final goodbye with my cat was also rushed, one if my regrets and I did a poor job. He let out a scared murmur after insaid goodbye. I wasn't even there for his final injection. I saw him again while he was asleep after he got assessed, and like u I kissed him and told him how much I loved him. He was asleep though, I wish I said that goodbye while he was awake. I wish I didn't even put him down tbh.

It's so hard for you and I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine that I take him to the clinic to have him put to sleep. I wish you patient for your hard days. However you did the right think. We must do that sometimes for their peace. They like our kids, to say goodbye never be easy. I think she could feel your emotions and your love for her at her last minutes. That's the good side of it. She didn't alone and loved by you. You'll miss her so much and it hurts but, you'll know that she resting in peace. She was a lucky cat because of belong to such a good owner. 

Take care and be sure of she could understand your feelings and your reason.

I'm very sorry for your loss.  I think all of us that love and care for our pets naturally feel guilt when faced with a situation like yours.  Sally was very fortunate to have you, and you her.  Please don't feel guilty.  She knew you loved her.  My prayers are with you.

Thanks for the kind  replies. That really helps. I guess I should count my blessings in knowing that I gave her lots of TLC and was with her to the end.

I'm so very sorry for the loss you have suffered, believe me it is a normal part of the grieving process to second guess ourselves and doubt what we did at one of the worst moment in our lives. It sounds to me that you loved Sally very much and I'm sure she felt your love and knew you cared. The fact that you gave her comfort when she needed you and put an end to her suffering, even though it broke your heart, shows the depth of the great love you two shared. Please remember she would never want you to be so sad on remembering her, but to celebrate what you had. The tears will eventually turn to smiles when you think of her. Please accept our condolences and know we will try to share your pain so it does not become too much to bear. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, take care.....  RIP beautiful Sally, you will always be remembered and loved!