PLS PLS- Help me with my rescued cat behaviors.

Well, was going to give him away but after the great feed back decided to try again and ask you experts with cats for some help  This cat is so sweet and just needs love and I have grown really fond of him  but he's kinda sociopathic, haha.  He came from abuse and I think abandonment, or was raised with dogs, maybe. 
The problems I have are as follows;
1. He doesn't seem to know how to do cat play with my other cat (who was the reason for me getting this cat, as he had lost his 15 yr old friend recently. I feel really bad that my cat now still doesn't have a new buddy.
2.  He licks himself constantly and he will jump on the bed near me and wake me up repeatedly from licking.
3.  He sits on my recliner at the foot where I sit and again, licks and licks, but worse is that I have to weasel myself out of the chair, i.e. cant use the hand lever.  Now I thought  in the beginning it was just a bonding thing and to be close to me, as he had come to feel safe with me, but he has now pretty much claimed it as home. 
4. He constantly walks (and slow or stops), right where Im walking so I always have to watch for him so I don't step on him. 
5.  He always takes my other cats food, he know 'his area' for eating but seems to be a dominance thing.
6. He works had to get down if I pick him up and  will not allow me to cut his nails. 
He is a sweetie pie, but just so much work all the time.  I am a disabled sr and its really a challenge trying to get into a 'normal" mode.  Im afraid it will never happen and I will just be forced to try to live with these issues.  Which I maybe would have done when I was more able, but now it is really work all the time. 
Thanks for any tips you guys can give me.  Thanks

First off thank you so much for rescuing this sweet boy.  He may be a bit of a challenge, but with some help and guidance and your willing to work with him, changes can happen. 

Lets, start with his background, where did he come from?  Did you find him, rescue him or adopt him from a shelter?  What do you know about his background?  Is he neutered and how old is he?  Has he been to the vet for proper care so that your other cat does not get any undesirable illnesses? 

I will put your questions in blue and my responses below:

1. He doesn't seem to know how to do cat play with my other cat (who was the reason for me getting this cat, as he had lost his 15 yr old friend recently. I feel really bad that my cat now still doesn't have a new buddy.1. He doesn't seem to know how to do cat play with my other cat (who was the reason for me getting this cat, as he had lost his 15 yr old friend recently. I feel really bad that my cat now still doesn't have a new buddy.

Have you done proper cat to cat introductions?  Cats can take a very long time to get to know one another.  It is not as simple as throwing them in a room and hoping they become fast and best friends.  I worked for an entire year getting a feral/stray rescue and my resident cat to accept one another.  They are still not buddies, but have learned to live together in harmony.  Here are a few links and a video to some cat to cat introduction tips.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/a-simple-little-trick-to-use-during-new-cat-introductions/

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2010/10/01/cat-to-cat-introductions/


2.  He licks himself constantly and he will jump on the bed near me and wake me up repeatedly from licking.

He is grooming himself.  This is a sign that he is comfortable around you.  Cats groom after a meal and before going to sleep.  If it really bothers you, don't allow him to sleep with you or give him a nice cozy bed someone other than your bed.

3.  He sits on my recliner at the foot where I sit and again, licks and licks, but worse is that I have to weasel myself out of the chair, i.e. cant use the hand lever.  Now I thought  in the beginning it was just a bonding thing and to be close to me, as he had come to feel safe with me, but he has now pretty much claimed it as home. 

Cats do claim territory and this may be the spot he has chosen.  He obviously likes being close to you and isn't ready to be a lap kitty yet.  You can either move him or don't put the recliner up for him.  Try to give him other spots such as a cozy blanket on your lap or next to you.

4. He constantly walks (and slow or stops), right where Im walking so I always have to watch for him so I don't step on him. 

He is insecure right now and is afraid you may leave him.  This will settle down when he gets more comfortable with you and your surroundings.  Tell him that he is safe and that he has a home where he will be loved and well taken care of.  Remember it seems that he was abused, dumped or abandoned and he will carry those scars with him for awhile.

5.  He always takes my other cats food, he know 'his area' for eating but seems to be a dominance thing.

He may be taking your other cats food because he knew true hunger and was never sure where his next meal was coming from.  This is typical behavior of strays.  They eat as much as they can and do not have a sense of your food and my food.  They want it all.  You may need to feed your cats in separate areas until the new boy calms down and realizes there will always be plenty of food.  Also has he been checked for worms/parasites?  Both can make a cat very hungry, yet not appear to put on weight.

6. He works had to get down if I pick him up and  will not allow me to cut his nails. 

He may not be used to being handled and it may be too soon for you to try this with him.  Some cats do not like to be picked up and nail trimming time is never fun.  When he goes for a vet visit but sure to have them cut the nails.  In the mean time, let him settle down a bit before attempting this task.

A few other questions, do you play with him or spend time just with him to be sure he feels secure?  The same with your resident cat.  They may each need 1:1 time with you for a bit. 

I know this all seems like a lot, but the differences can be seem quickly if you are willing to spend a bit of time ironing out the issues.  I believe that once he feels more secure in your home, he will settle down into a wonderful cat.

Thank you sooooo much for your input, but so gonna tap you for more.  Ok, first to answer your questions and give more specifics;

I got 'Georgie' from the rescue people. I think he's  like 3 maybe. He had all his shots and vet indicated abuse had occurred including a burn, but reflected no other health issues, though they do make you sign a waiver should it end up a pet received from them has an illness.  Initially he had a few fleas, so promptly got flea collar and put diatamtious earth everywhere  until no longer showed signs of fleas.  He also would literally chew on himself and he had multiple sores. Was contemplating taking him to vet, but I kinda sensed it was just neurotic behavior, so each time he would start chewing, I would stroke him and talk to him gently.  He would stop chewing, so over time I was sure it was a just trauma behavior. Now at four months, he no longer chews to the point of drawing blood, just licking deeply and repeatedly frequently and for long periods.. Though even that has reduced a bit with my stroking and talking to him. I think it just distracts him, till he lets himself go back to sleep.. When I first got him I researched best ways to integrate new kitty into home and I kept him in my room for 2 weeks till he relaxed and began sniffing at the door. Then for a week I did a screen at the door so the two cats could see and sniff each other.Putting food on both sides.  Once they were more relaxed with each other, inc, each laying on their side of the screen looking at each other, I began integrating for an hr or two a day till the end of the week, then removed the screen.  They did a little head banging at first, but no full blown fight or fight sounds.  Now months later,  they are actually kinda running after each other but that's where it stops, I see they both trying to play and then they just give up.  They will sometimes lay fairly close to each and just look at each other.  I sooooo know they want to play and love each other, but I just flat out don't think Georgie knows how to play. He gets too aggressive, then my my other cat walks away and I see Georgie just sitting there, wondering what happened, haha.   Now daily I do provide affection for him, soft words and combing to secure him, but Im sure that another reason for staying on the recliner. I am disabled and pretty much live in my recliner, so its where I do the caring/grooming. 

Now I sense things will get better re; the two cats relationship, Im more concerned about the neurotic behaviors, particularly the licking and scratching.  I should indicate I have thought of just closing my bdrm door but my other cat and I have always slept together and as this has been a little traumatic for him, i.e. having a new cat in the house, I didn't think it was a good idea.  So now Im just trying to do some programming.  When Georgie jumps on the bed when Im awake I will pet him, but when comes to my head in the middle of the night or early am to either lick me or starts scratching/licking himself, , I am now just pushing him gently away and saying "NO" and if he continues I push him to the point of being on the end table.  Im hoping that will reprogram his behavior, but we'll see.

Again, thanks for the help but any other ideas on the psych stuff would be appreciated. 

Since he did have some fleas you might want to get him to the vet to be sure he isn't having a reaction.  Is he still wearing the flea collar?  Some cats react to the flea collar. 

Some cats really like to overgroom themselves.  It is common for feral cats to groom themselves very meticulously.  I have a white cat who grooms himself for 20 minutes or more at least 2x a day.  He licks and bites and it goes on and on.  If Georgie is scratching he may be bothered by sores from flea bites.  It wouldn't hurt to get him checked out.  You could get his nails trimmed then as well. 

It sounds like the two cats are getting along well.  This is a good sign.  It takes cats awhile to learn to play, groom and want to be with each other.  Georgie may not know how to play and it will take trust of your other cat to teach him.  Give them time.  Try playing with them together and see if it sparks anything.

Are both cats spayed/neutered? 

Also remember that Georgie comes from an abusive situation.  Those scars are deep and it may take him awhile to trust.  The feral/stray I brought in last year took the full year to integrate into our home.  He still hates to be held, yet will sit on your lap.  It took him months to stop eating so fast and looking around for me.  It was as though he was scared there wouldn't be food tomorrow.

You are doing so well with Georgie and even though it has only been a few months, it will take time.

Do you know anything about flower essences?  There is a company called Spirit Essences that is run by Jackson Galaxy.  He has a show on Animal Planet called " My Cat from H*ll".  I do believe he has a product for over grooming.   There is one for cats called Skin Soother https://store.jacksongalaxy.com/sto...-spirit-essences-skin-soother?source=4-3332-7 and Obsession Remedyhttps://store.jacksongalaxy.com/store/jg/item/60041/jackson-galaxy-spirit-essences-obsession-remedy?source=4-3332-11  I have used alot of his products and have had good results.  They can be placed in the water bowl, mixed into wet food and also placed on your hands and gently rubbed onto the cats skin.  Results are usually seen in 7-14 days, but the treatment may need to be given for 30 days or more depending on the intensity.  Rescue Remedy is another good flower essence.

Ask lots of questions.  We are all here to help!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Will do as advised..