The multicat household- All males, all females or a mix?

I'm wondering if it is better to group cats by gender? Assuming everyone is spayed/neuteured.

So far all my male cats get along together. I tried mixing male with female and that didn't work. The female cats all get along but have to be kept separate from the males.

I have only one girl cat who can be with the boys without too much fussing.  I also have one male cat who can be with the females without problems.

But trying to get everyone to get along is impossible. I'm lucky I live in the country and the female cats can go outside safely. I try to rotate who is allowed where, so everyone gets some attention.

I am wondering what I should look for in my next cat? Should I get a male, since the boys seem to get along best? Not that I am looking for another cat, but I always end up taking in rescues, or having a stray show up.

So far, the boys seem to be more affectionate towards people, and less likely to bite, although that could just be their personality.

What do you think? Are males more affectionate? is it better to group cats by gender?

If all spayed and neutered, the gender doesn't matter.  It's more the personalities of the cats that are the factor.  Like people, cats can have personalities that clash.  Such as two "alphas" or bossy, top cats should NOT be put together because they will constantly be fighting for top spot.  Also, alphas do not do well with cats that have a lot of anxiety.... They tend to make themselves prey which and alpha cannot resist.  So on and so on.

People have speculations on which gender is more affectionate.  The majority seem to believe that males are.  However, there is no scientific basis for this opinion... And I would beg to differ.  All of my girls are extremely affectionate.

i think it would be better to group cats by purrsonality. as i'm sure you know, each cat has it's own purrsonality, and i feel it's more about how well those purrsonalities fit together.

i do think that (very) generally, male cats tend to be more affectionate.

I have one of each both formerly feral. He is sociable to all and affectionate to no one. She is very affectionate to me and sleeps with me but is not very sociable. So there you go! I cuddle her but not him but he follows you around like a dog but does not like cuddles.

My mom has 6 females. . .LOL. I kind of think it would be good to have at least one male in there to break up the estrogen level (not that it's so high in spayed cats!), but I don't really know if that would make a difference. Her cats pretty much all have their own spaces, they used to fight but now have it all hashed out, but none of them are best friends.

I do find that young males tend to pick on older females, though. I mean, young cats tend to pick on older cats in general but it seems especially pronounced with young males/older females.

Mostly, yeah, it's up to individual personality. Whatever works!

I agree with P3.  If all of them are spayed or neutered, the gender probably won't matter.  I have one laid back female and three who are more high drama.  One of our boys likes drama and the other hides when someone knocks on the door.  It is really more about personality.

Just wanted to chime in and agree about personality. I have two siblings, one male and one female. Sophie has always been more brave and LOVES attention. She's always up for being petted, and will seek us out to say "hi." Tux is more shy and likes to decide when he will be petted, but is still very affectionate. Both like to sit in our laps and to be in the same room with us. Having them be bonded before we got them helped remove some of the alpha/beta issues. They take turns bossing/chasing each other around and can each hold their own. We've taught both to use soft paws and not bite when playing with us, but Tux still gives me "love bites" when he's kneading/purring. So, it really depends...

I would mainly look for a confident, sociable cat.

P3 and The King said:

 
If all spayed and neutered, the gender doesn't matter.  It's more the personalities of the cats that are the factor.  Like people, cats can have personalities that clash.  Such as two "alphas" or bossy, top cats should NOT be put together because they will constantly be fighting for top spot.  Also, alphas do not do well with cats that have a lot of anxiety.... They tend to make themselves prey which and alpha cannot resist.  So on and so on.

People have speculations on which gender is more affectionate.  The majority seem to believe that males are.  However, there is no scientific basis for this opinion... And I would beg to differ.  All of my girls are extremely affectionate.

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This matches my experience.  I had two cats that were alphas, and while it wasn't all out war, they did fight a lot more than my other cats.  One alpha, no problem! 

The most affectionate cat I ever had was girl.  She LOVED attention, followed people around and liked belly rubs! The others have been a mix. I've had shy cats of both sexes, and friendly, affectionate cats of both sexes.  Actually, they were all affectionate to me, but some were afraid of visitors. 

I have heard that cats prefer people of the opposite sex.  I once have a friend and her husband stay over, and all four of my female cats abandoned me for the man, but it could have just been curiosity.

Considering unrelated altered cats only, it is all about personality and environment (nature and nurture ).

But, I've never had two or more unrelated female cats bond with each other in the way that some of the males have. In my experience, assuming you don't have two alpha males as pointed out above, the males are more likely to be affectionate with each other; snuggle and play together, groom each other.

As far as affection towards humans, again it's personality and environment. Six of my 7 house cats (4 females and 3 males) are normal to very affectionate. The 7th was about 8 years old when she showed up at one of my feral feeders 6 years ago and her personality was pretty much set. She's made it clear that humans are serfs. We don't call her Princess for nothing! 

Its a roll of the dice.   I have had cat siblings come from the same litter and all 4 had distinctly different personalities - just like people.

I had 3 cats, 2 girls and a boy. Almost 2 months ago now, sadly the boy, Simba, passed away suddenly from heart problems. Shiloh, the younger girl was bonded with him and misses him. Mocha, the other girl, would hiss and swat at him, but never do that to Shiloh, even though they aren't good friends. They just tolerate one another. I want to get another kitten and I was planning on getting another boy, but now I see that Mocha is more relaxed since Simba has been gone, and she's more tolerant with shiloh. So I was wondering if Mocha would do with another girl, as opposed to a boy. Anybody have any experience with this situation? I would love to hear your thoughts!

I have had female cats get along with male cats that were in the house when they were kittens. I think most of it comes to personality and proper introductions. I would recommend a calm boy ...... and adopting female sisters when they are kittens, someday years from now.
You will know the right cat when you see them. Good luck

shisimocha said:

I had 3 cats, 2 girls and a boy. Almost 2 months ago now, sadly the boy, Simba, passed away suddenly from heart problems. Shiloh, the younger girl was bonded with him and misses him. Mocha, the other girl, would hiss and swat at him, but never do that to Shiloh, even though they aren't good friends. They just tolerate one another. I want to get another kitten and I was planning on getting another boy, but now I see that Mocha is more relaxed since Simba has been gone, and she's more tolerant with shiloh. So I was wondering if Mocha would do with another girl, as opposed to a boy. Anybody have any experience with this situation? I would love to hear your thoughts!

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PS- the kitty in the attached photo is Mocha