Our cat won't leave my husband alone!

thebruceisloose · Jul 22, 2014

Before you think that we're being mean or cruel, let me clarify:

I leave the house for work M-F at 8:15am. Before I leave I feed Bruce his breakfast, clean his litter box, and give him some petting time. So in my mind, there's really no reason for him to upset/unhappy when I leave for work.

Issue #1:

My husband continues to sleep when I leave - or at least, he tries to. Bruce tends to wake him up by meowing a lot, or nipping at his feet/legs. How can we "communicate" to Bruce that he needs to leave my husband alone and let him sleep?

Issue #2:

After my husband wakes up, he starts to work (he works on a side project from home, but has a full-time job that starts in the afternoons). Bruce constantly meows at him, jumps up on the laptop/computer desk, and pretty much makes it very difficult for my husband to concentrate. It's sweet that Bruce is so affectionate, but my husband really needs this time to himself - without being distracted by Bruce. How can we "communicate" to Bruce that he needs to leave my husband alone and let him work?

I get home from work @ 6:00pm and I feed Bruce. After he's eaten and groomed, I play with him for about 10-15 minutes. My husband gets home from work between 7:00-9:00pm depending on the day. When he gets home, he gives Bruce attention/affection. My husband will play with Bruce for 10-15 minutes just before his 3rd feeding, and then we all go to sleep.

To me, it seems likes Bruce gets plenty of play time and attention, from BOTH OF US. When I'm home alone with Bruce, he kind of does his own thing - he doesn't bother me or beg me for attention. So why does he do it with my husband?

Any advice/insight would be appreciated!

p3 and the king · Jul 22, 2014

Well, he does have plenty of attention. And, secondly you can't communicate any of this to a cat. If it were that easy, no one would be on here asking for advice. Does Bruce have his own areas and points of interest where he can get proper stimulation throughout the day? He sounds bored to me. Do you have a cat tree or if you have a home a cat walk? Depending on how much space you have, one tree may not be enough. Try to put them near windows with views of trees and birds and other wildlife.

The thing is, the more you try to ignore a cat, the more they seem to "bug" you. I know when I'm doing homework, it seemed that way at first with King Arthur. But, I made him his own area where he can watch me and be near me. Since then, no problems. As long as your husband makes room for him, it could turn it around? You make room for him and he doesn't bother you.

As for the sleeping thing. Cats love feet and toes. How old is Bruce? My guess is he's pretty young? He's understimulated and bored is all. 15 minutes may seem like enough time, but to a cat, they are just getting started. You need to wear him out good. I suggest 30 minute play times at least twice a day. Maybe after your husband gets up and then right before bed. Cats need exercise. Otherwise they become depressed. If your husband is too tired to play, another thing you can try is a harness and he can take him outside for a walk. But he really needs the extra stimulation. It will go a long way in helping hubby find some peace.

thebruceisloose · Jul 22, 2014

Originally Posted by P3 and The King

Does Bruce have his own areas and points of interest where he can get proper stimulation throughout the day?

How old is Bruce? My guess is he's pretty young? He's understimulated and bored is all. 15 minutes may seem like enough time, but to a cat, they are just getting started. You need to wear him out good. I suggest 30 minute play times at least twice a day. Maybe after your husband gets up and then right before bed. Cats need exercise. Otherwise they become depressed. If your husband is too tired to play, another thing you can try is a harness and he can take him outside for a walk. But he really needs the extra stimulation. It will go a long way in helping hubby find some peace.

Bruce has a tower, a cardboard scratcher (that also serves as a little chaise lounge for him), and we made the top of the fridge a perch for him by adding carpet to it (the kitchen window is the largest in the apt and the fridge sits right next to it).

He's 1 year-old. I played with him the other night, for about 15 minutes, and he was panting by the end of it! When he plays, he plays hard! I feel like 30 minutes would be too much for him...

We're currently harness-training Bruce, too. Trying to get him used to wearing the harness/leash in the apt before we attempt to take him outside!

p3 and the king · Jul 22, 2014

thebruceisloose said:
Bruce has a tower, a cardboard scratcher (that also serves as a little chaise lounge for him), and we made the top of the fridge a perch for him by adding carpet to it (the kitchen window is the largest in the apt and the fridge sits right next to it).

He's 1 year-old. I played with him the other night, for about 15 minutes, and he was panting by the end of it! When he plays, he plays hard! I feel like 30 minutes would be too much for him...

We're currently harness-training Bruce, too. Trying to get him used to wearing the harness/leash in the apt before we attempt to take him outside!

Cats need at least 1 hour of good play per day. So a lot of people separate it into 4 times a day but he really needs it. It's good that you are harness training him before venturing out, too. Just try to work on more play per day is the best advice I can give. And talk to your husband about putting a cat tree/cat area in his office so that Bruce can see he's welcome and maybe stop bugging him as much. He is young still. At about 2yrs, they really start to mature and calm down a bit more.

thebruceisloose · Jul 22, 2014

Thanks for your input!

mani · Jul 22, 2014

Have you considered getting another cat? It needs very careful thought and doesn't always work the way you want it to, but it can be an option if Bruce likes other cats and you can find the right companion.

Of course, you have to really want another cat.

thebruceisloose · Jul 23, 2014

Mani said:
Have you considered getting another cat? It needs very careful thought and doesn't always work the way you want it to, but it can be an option if Bruce likes other cats and you can find the right companion.

Of course, you have to really want another cat.

We've only had Bruce for 1 month, so another cat is not even on our radar right now!

helsic · Jul 24, 2014

He may be feeling lonely, I had a kitten before it was like that, always bothering my husband when he was at home working on the computer, the kitten would climb up to the computer and mess with stuff in the desk and so, if its only one cat they would try to get all the attention like a real baby.

Our cat won't leave my husband alone!

thebruceisloose

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