Been given an ultimatum with my cat. Need help asap

hellomisslady

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So I have benough told that if my kitten doesn't stop with his bad behavior, we will have to give him to our family friend.

I don't want to and I'm devastated that my boyfriend is being this impatient. That being said, I really need advice.

For no known reason, my kitten has always thought dad was a toy. Whenever he picks him up to love him, kitty goes in to crazy mode and tries to bite everything in sight. Pet him? Bites. Sits on couch, runs up and bites his hands. Walking? springs out of nowhere and hugs and bites. It's constant. Happens 20 times a day or more. He is just trying to play. He barely bites and he usually runs away to play elsewhere. Weirdly enough, he never plays with my like this.

He let's me pick him up and love him. He rarely nips me. He is my angel.

We don't do anything different. He is just nicer to me! And there has been no changes in his life lately or traumatic event between them.

He is fed around 5am and 6am. Then gets a food toy to work on during the day to keep him busy and fed. A snack when I'm home at 6. And a dinner around 8-9 to get him to wind down. He gets played with pretty much until we get home and go to bed (laser, fetch, feather chaser).

I don't know what to do and I will be devastated if he makes me give him up.

Also,getting a second cat would not be an option for us as my apartment does not seem suitable for two cats. Plus when we got him, they told us he was a kitten bully to his litter mates.

He is around 4 months old.

Literally anything you say would be appreciated.
 

sivyaleah

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Sorry to hear about your kitten not getting along with your dad or, do you mean your BF and are just referring to him as the "dad" to the cat?  I'm sure this is pretty frustrating for everyone, including the cat.

The first thing I wonder is has anyone been playing with him during the day time?  If not, it sounds like he's bored and needs more positive interaction to wear his energy down.  Kittens need a lot of playtime.  Perhaps he's trying to communicate that he wants more interaction.  You need to make sure his energy is drained - he should be panting a little bit after a good play cycle.  Wand toys like Da Bird are great, as they keep the human hand away from the cat and teach them to go after objects, not hands..  You don't want him to associate hands with playtime.  Throwing small balls are great also.  Mine especially like the ones which are sparkly - I think it's because the light catches on it and helps them judge where they are.

The second thing which jumps out at me is have you gotten him neutered yet?  Some of this behavior could be related to the hormonal changes he may be going through.  

I'm sure others will chime in and give their thoughts.
 
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hellomisslady

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Thanks for the reply @sivyaleah. 

He alone during the day for about 6 hours. To keep him occupied, I change out his toys frequently or modify them in some way to make them seem new and interesting. As for when we play at night and in the morning, he usually gets so tired he will just lay down and lazily kinda paw it. I know he is tired at those times. But perhaps someones knows about an automated or timed toy for cats? or a laser on a timer? I would love to get him something like that anyway!

He is also not yet neutered. When we took him to vet, they noticed he is extremely rambunctious, but it did not warrant for him to be altered yet.  They said at the time they want to wait for as long as possible to neuter him (the 6th month mark ideally). But that was about a month ago and he does seem to be getting braver, so maybe we can bring it up again at this weekend's appointment. Maybe he is a early bloomer :)

as for the dad comment, it is my boyfriend.

catmom, catdad :) we're lame. 
 

p3 and the king

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The thing about waiting, he's in puberty now, the longer they wait, the more hormones and the more aggressive he'll be.  But, I will warn you... Neutering is not a quick fix.  It takes a month, sometimes longer for hormones to leave his system.  And the myth about it calming them down is a myth.  It doesn't change their personality.  If he was like this before puberty, he most likely will be after.

How does the boyfriend approach him?  Can you take a video, it would be very helpful?  Also I suggest watching Jackson Galaxy videos.  He deals with this all the time.  It's work but it can help.  How your boyfriend approaches and touches and interacts with him can speak volumes.
 

frida

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Also keep in mind that kitten go through teething from 2-6 months old depending on the kitten. The discomfort of Their teeth can cause behavioural changes such as chewing biting pawing at the face ect. You may not know that the kitten is going through this because typically the kitten will swallow the milk teeth, but it causes discomfort for the kitten. Keep in mind and remind your partner that kitten hood is just a stage that will pass quickly. I also would discontinue and hand or foot related play.
 
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hellomisslady

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I was told to do Wally when he was old/heavy enough.  Did tey say why you should wait?
Because that's generally when they reach how big/heavy they should be for such a surgery. It was a general estimation. Given we took him in when he was only two pounds, he may be approaching the size that he needs to be for such a surgery considering he has had a major major growth spurt. 
 
The thing about waiting, he's in puberty now, the longer they wait, the more hormones and the more aggressive he'll be.  But, I will warn you... Neutering is not a quick fix.  It takes a month, sometimes longer for hormones to leave his system.  And the myth about it calming them down is a myth.  It doesn't change their personality.  If he was like this before puberty, he most likely will be after.

How does the boyfriend approach him?  Can you take a video, it would be very helpful?  Also I suggest watching Jackson Galaxy videos.  He deals with this all the time.  It's work but it can help.  How your boyfriend approaches and touches and interacts with him can speak volumes.
He doesn't approach him much right now. The majority of the attacks are sneak attacks when my boyfriend is cooking or shaving. I know he is trying desperately to initiate play with him. When he plays with him with the teaser and tires him out, he can pick him up and cuddle him. But as soon as he snaps out of sleepy kitten mode, its back to bites. It's strange because he has stopped doing it me altogether. This actually rather new. Our kitten has always loved and sometimes insisted that we pick him up and hold him. 
Also keep in mind that kitten go through teething from 2-6 months old depending on the kitten. The discomfort of Their teeth can cause behavioural changes such as chewing biting pawing at the face ect. You may not know that the kitten is going through this because typically the kitten will swallow the milk teeth, but it causes discomfort for the kitten. Keep in mind and remind your partner that kitten hood is just a stage that will pass quickly. I also would discontinue and hand or foot related play.
I figured he was teething. He has been sucking on blankets and kneading them because I think it feels good on his little mouth. We don't ever play with our hands or feet. and we yell at anyone that does this with our cat because he is such a biter lol! 

Thank you all for the input
 

p3 and the king

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Well, because he doesn't approach him and is "attacking him from behind" this is all hunting behavior.  Your cat sees your boyfriend as prey.  Cats instinctively know when someone does not like them or is "afraid" of them.  I am not saying your bf isn't a big, strong, man... But, he needs to learn to interact with kitty and turn the dynamic around.  Jackson Galaxy videos can help with that aka "My Cat From Hell"  You can see it on Animal Planet online or YouTube.  I encourage you to watch some of them together so your bf can learn more productive ways to bond positively with kitty.
 

ldg

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Teething is also just generally a real PIA in some kitties. They become VERY bitey when they go through this. Buy a box of bendy straws and scatter them around the house/apartment. They're a kind of plastic he won't easily chew through. When they begin to be a bit tattered, toss them. But make sure they're handy. When he attacks, BF should blow a short, sharp puff of air directly in his face and say "No" firmly - not shout it, just strong and firm. Then grab a bendy straw that is lying around, and redirect kitty to the straw. When he plays with the straw, praise the HECK out of him.

Kitties are just like kids. They need to be praised for what they're doing right, as the positive reinforcement is how they know what is good to do instead of just knowing they've done something wrong.
 

rachelinaz

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Wally is 3 pounds. A little over 3 pounds when we got him fixed a few days ago. He is mighty lovey. He always has been to a point but not like is now.
He never went through puberty.


Because that's generally when they reach how big/heavy they should be for such a surgery. It was a general estimation. Given we took him in when he was only two pounds, he may be approaching the size that he needs to be for such a surgery considering he has had a major major growth spurt. 
 
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