My friend Chalupa

@nurseangel thank you so much for writing, and saying nice things. I'm sorry it made you sad.
I'm glad we had each other too, at least we had that.
Hope your anipals are well and I wish you the best!

@GoHolistic I'm sorry, I don't know about Sebastian. What was wrong with him? If you feel like sharing......thanks again

chalupa said:

@GoHolistic I'm sorry, I don't know about Sebastian. What was wrong with him? If you feel like sharing......thanks again

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Sebastian is still with me. He has chronic pancreatitis.

Your post made me cry. I am so, so sorry for your loss.
She was such a beautiful girl!
I have had to let go two of the best friends anybody ever had myself and I know how difficult it is.
Your pictures and video are beautiful.

Hi. I actually went to see a grief counsellor because I wasn't coping so well. Luca's death was just so sudden and I am carrying so much guilt because she had a sore on her belly which she wouldn't stop licking and I had her in an Elizabethan collar for almost 3 months and I should have taken her back to the vet way before I did. The collar and the sore had nothing to do with how she died other than masking weight loss which might have alerted me to her kidney failure. We don't know if it was chronic or acute but she died within 6 days of me first noticing something wrong. And two of those days were spent on an IV at the vet. So my grief has been compounded by this dreadful guilt that I was cruel to her by forcing the collar on her for so long and not taking her back to the vet. So, the counsellor lady got me to do two things both of which were helpful. She got me to write Luca a letter and tell her everything I wanted to say, to talk about the guilt and the sadness and everything. While I wrote that letter, I could imagine her responses and I knew how much she loved me and that she forgave me. The second thing was to write a list of all the good happy things I did for her. I am on 34 now and have decided to carry on until 80 which will give me a sense of healing I think because that will counteract the 80 days I had her in the stupid collar.
So two small things but they have helped. I also wrote a tribute and sent it to the vet that put her to sleep so they could see what she was like as a happy healthy cat. And I still have my Burmese to comfort and vuddle which has been a big help.
Sorry for the long post. Hope you feel a bit better today/tomorrow. It is just a case of one day at a time. And it gets easier.

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss, only a cat owner can understand how hard you fell for a cat and how it become a real partner in your life T_T

she was gorgeous!

I'm very sorry for your loss. Your love for Chalupa, and hers for you, is so obvious in your posts about her. She must have been quite a character.
RIP, Chalupa.

Please accept my condolences for your loss, words cannot heal a broken heart but it helps to know that others share your feelings of grief. She was a beautiful girl, she looks happy and content in her pictures, she knew you would take care of her and love her and you did. She would not want you to be so sad, try to think of the good times and not dwell on the bad,celebrate the time you had together and the love you shared. She lit up your world and she will be greatly missed. RIP beautiful Chalupa!

@shadowfein thank you for sharing what you went through after Luca. I looked at your threads to find out more about what happened to Luca and remembered you mentioned your cat that died under anesthesia but didn't realize that was 11 years ago yet. This is when I saw robinathome had posted about Franny recently too. It is also sad about Franny too.
It is very interesting to me that your grief counselor had you write a letter to Luca. I can see why they had you do that, it does make sense somehow doesn't it? I spewed out what I wrote in tribute to Chalupa kind of without thinking. put way more thought into her photos(have a lot). When i looked at what I had written wasn't sure if I should be embarrassed or not. seemed like something a kid would write in a way, to their pet that died, but then again I probably always write like a kid. Just had to get that stuff out though. felt guilty, it was making me sick. Have a feeling you might understand and relate.
I can see why you were wondering about what might have caused Luca's death so suddenly. I am suspicious of a lot of these meds. Especially interactions because I feel that Chalupas last problem might have been caused by this. On the other hand she had a really aggressive cancer that had nearly killed her already in November. Doesn't make much difference in the end about the cause. Would though wAnt to help someone else from potentially hurting their pet in case it was an interaction that could have been Avoided. Still it's good to be wary of all meds especially for cats, they seem very delicate.
Would like to read your list when you get to 80 if you ever would share.

To @jcat, @Di and Bob, @helsic, @Jil05 (I'm very sorry to make you sad) thank you very much for writing about Chalupa. Seems like you all have been through this before, I'm very sorry for your loss and wish you all the best!

@GoHolistic I'm glad you still have your Sebastian. How is he doing these days?
Chalupa was once misdiagnosed with pancreatitis last summer. Tried to understand it then and it was very difficult. Turned out though I did know someone whose cat had pancreatitis. Their cat hAd it really bad and owner force fed her for two years. They did not know about appetite stimulants back then. She was actually one if the people who urged me to put Chalupa to sleep to avoid any suffering. she maybe felt bad for not letting her cat go sooner. When she told me about force feeding her cat when I Chalupa supposedly had pancreatitis, got really scared. had no idea then how much scarier things were about to get then.
What happens to Sebastian because of the pancreatitis? Is he on meds all the time?

Turns out there's no way I am ready to adopt another cat. Went to a pet adoption place after work today. While I was there All I could do was think about Chalupa and how assertive she was. She had this attitude. Imagined she thought most other felines were stupid. chalupa knows how to deal with humans. The way she talked to me sometimes reminds me if the way an owner talks to their dog, me being the dog. She wouldn't meow and meow, just once or twice and then wait to see if I understood. She also had this thing about eye contact. It was very important to her. Maybe she just liked to do it with me, she can probably tell I'm shyer about eye contact. Anyway, since I first met Chalupa, all other felines paled in comparison.
So will I ever forgive all the rest of the cats in the world for not being as strange and silly As Chalupa?
always had a feeling Chalupa was very lonely for other felines but had trouble speaking cat or something. She was also very insecure around them.
I miss her too much.

Hi Sarah, @chalupa....Your tribute to Chalupa is just Beautiful.   I really like the photo of her and the man sitting on the sofa, because it looks like she is waiting for the bus with her knapsack.  And in her videos, Chalupa really does have a unique rolling meow sound.  I hope you don't get too hard on yourself.  Ten years seems to go too quick, but it is really good that you adopted her and she "stared you down" and "kept talking" to you.  Those kind of memories are priceless.

Grief is just awful to go through, but what @Shadowfein wrote about talking to a grief counsellor,  and writing those two letters would be very helpful, for anyone experiences guilt.  With myself I found sadness just comes and goes, and that I had to stop myself from thinking about the sad times,  and re focus on something positive, ....but I am going to try to write those two letters as well, and see how it goes.  I remember telling you that it does help when there are other animals around, so in the future I hope you may consider this, but for now,  just know that your Chalupa would want you to be okay.  (You never know, she may be up there with Sparky, talking about how their humans are.)

My condolences to you and I wish you strength and peace.

chalupa said:

Turns out there's no way I am ready to adopt another cat. Went to a pet adoption place after work today. While I was there All I could do was think about Chalupa and how assertive she was. She had this attitude. Imagined she thought most other felines were stupid. chalupa knows how to deal with humans. The way she talked to me sometimes reminds me if the way an owner talks to their dog, me being the dog. She wouldn't meow and meow, just once or twice and then wait to see if I understood. She also had this thing about eye contact. It was very important to her. Maybe she just liked to do it with me, she can probably tell I'm shyer about eye contact. Anyway, since I first met Chalupa, all other felines paled in comparison.
So will I ever forgive all the rest of the cats in the world for not being as strange and silly As Chalupa?
always had a feeling Chalupa was very lonely for other felines but had trouble speaking cat or something. She was also very insecure around them.
I miss her too much.

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Sorry, @chalupa ....I always seem to read things very slow lately, or miss things.  What is good is that you went into the pet adoption place after work, and it's okay if you are not ready.  It may be very difficult to find a cat who is "as strange or silly" but who knows...maybe slightly "different and serious" would be okay, too. 

I have no idea how people choose cats, or the cats choose them.  (I think it is just meant to be.)

So if Chalupa treated you as a pet dog, and wanted eye contact...she definitely sounds assertive.  Cat training does seem to go both ways, you just made me realize that.  Cats can get me to do a lot of things I would not do for my dog, like start following the cat around the house. Maybe Chalupa did speak cat, but cats don't listen too well, or have selective hearing, so she just walked away.

It's okay to miss her,  I think we will always miss the cats that pass on, but cats teach us to be resilient and strong, and to take each day as it comes. The heartache emotions are difficult, though.

@cat nap  Hi! It's always so cool to read from you. You write the sweetest, wisest things. Thank you for writing about the Chalupa and watching some of her videos, and stuff. Wish I had better videos, unfortunately only started to record videos after she was diagnosed with lymphoma. Thank you for your support all along as well.

By the way I read the link you sent me while Chalupa was sick before I took her in and I couldn't relate until now to it, it is very good to read now, and really helped http://www.thecatsite.com/t/237066/when-the-moment-comes

How long has it been since Sparky left? You might have told me before and I'm sorry if can't remember. If you do want to write a tribute or letter to Sparky I wish I could read it.

Saw a cat that looked a lot like your photo avatar at adoption place.

You're totally right, another cat that is different from Chalupa, might have it's own personality traits that could turn out as equally loveable as Chalupas. I'm sure it's very possible, I'm adaptable and a bit of a sucker for felines. It would be so great to be able to help another cat and try to keep them entertained and really healthy. Considering a duo of cats that come together maybe, instead of one, but not sure about that yet. Until then will try to draw pictures of Chalupa to try to keep her alive in my head and imagination.

Chalupa was all 4 paws declawed by her previous owner already when I adopted her. I never owned any furniture like nice couches or tables and stuff so certainly didn't want or need a declawed cat, and not at all scared of claws or biting. Beforehand thought, no declawed cats for me, I'll leave those for the mean people who require this. Maybe I liked her behavior warnings, maybe they made me want to help her more. Think a lot of her more negative behaviors came from being declawed, picky with food, not wanting exercise, picky with litter, insecure. Remember not long after I adopted her read an extreme take on declawing cats saying how awful it was. It said that all declawed cats should not be adopted and the ones that are left in shelters should be humanely euthanized. Also said declawing should be banned, which is happening now I think, slowly. It was too late for me to read that article though.  Had already met and adopted the Chalupa recently. Even if I had read it beforehand not sure it would have had any effect on being able to resist the Chalupa. Did feel guilty for adopting a declawed cat though. Felt so bad for Chalupa, worried about how her paws were all the time. Why did they declaw her back paws too? Remember being surprised at her first vet visit soon after adopting, asked them how her claws were, forgotten already she was declawed, they told me then she had none on even her back paws. The vet might have been more irritated with me because of that but I had just asked her to check her teeth and when I should start preventive care. She looked at me funny and said something like, ' you know, most people don't do that, unless they have no choice.' Then she said, "but I think they should." Although I've known some cat lovers who would never have dental done on there cats because going under anesthesia is too extreme or something. Still had her teeth cleaned every couple years long as I had her, I was told she probably had genetic dental disease. If I have cats in the future should I have their teeth cleaned regularly or is it too dangerous?

Knew I wasn't in the right state of mind to go to adoption place. Friday was the only day left work early enough to make it there and felt so lonely for Chalupa.The only cats I really paid attention to were older females 6 through 9 years, most were given up due to moving owners, supposedly. How do you just give up a cat like or two like that after years of having them? If I could, would have taken all 5 of those cats home with me just to get them out of there. Felt so bad for them even though I knew I was not having this connection I had like when first met Chalupa. Would I feel guilty for not falling in love right away? Have a feeling all of those cats I met on Friday will start haunting me in my head now. They were all sad. Would have stayed longer but they were closing. Don't know why I only feel more comfortable about girl cats, need to change that. I should go back again soon and meet some boys.

Sorry for my long reply, maybe it's the caffeine.

I really appreciate you cat nap! Feel so lucky to know you here!

Hope you, Spotty and Floppy have some fun this weekend!

Listening to Howard Stern and Robin talk about his dog dying was helpful, he really loved his dog. Howard's dog dies: It's no fun to go outside anymore without Chalupa.

goodbye to you forums

I am sorry for your loss.

How are you doing? Want to write more but on my stupid phone with broken screen.

Hi @Quiet  Sorry your phone is broken, I wrote to your other message, thanks for writing.