My friend Chalupa

Chalupa was dying from Lymphoma and her vet put her to sleep Sunday night, July 13, 2014.

Thank you to everyone who wrote after Chalupa left. Really appreciate everything you said and read what you said that night and it did help. I'm very sorry I did not reply sooner. Everyone here has helped us so much. I've learned a lot from all of you.

Some things must say to the Chalupa.

I'm sorry Chalupa that we couldn't go outside the night before you left because it was raining overnight and into the next day. You didn't seem to feel good anymore.  I know it's not fair you didn't know what was going to happen, if only I could tell you. Would you have felt like doing something if you knew? You definitely knew once we were at the vet. I felt like maybe we should have blindfolded you beforehand so you wouldn't see those syringes right in front of your face and you wouldn't have struggled.

Wish I had said goodbye to you at home one last time and talked with you but had to trick myself into bringing you to vet. Thought of it like we were going there to help you and hopefully give us more time.  You were starting to eat again that weekend, of course.

My Chalupa, I apologize for working so much your last month of your life, really sad about that and mad at my job, and myself.

The night you died happened to be a perfect night for us to go outside, the moon was big and it was clear and cool out, just made me feel worse without you there. Still feel like what have I done? Got sick after you left, still sick.

Thank you to Chalupa for being my everything, my friend, family, and romantic one and only true love. You were all I ever needed and wanted. You had so many funny faces and loved your voice and all the sounds you made. You were supercool. Really wanted to try to help you live forever.

I am very thankful to Chalupa's veterinarian for making things go smoothly and very quickly. There is no way I would or could have done this without her there that night, and she knew exactly what to say. I love that lady, she's one of my favorite people in the world.

Chalupa was couple years old maybe and slightly overweight when I adopted her and came with warnings: "Does not like children or other pets." She stared me down and kept talking to me the moment she saw me, turned out she was just hungry but I took it as, "hey you, get me the hell out of here." She had been in the shelter the longest except for a young cat that would need to be on medication. Fell for her hard, wanted to protect her from the world, children and other pets. It was her voice, face, personality, she got me right away.

Chalupa and I were together for ten years. I watched over her and she watched over me. I never had children or other pets. Miss her terribly. Found some of her fur on her brush, it's like magical now. I love the Chalupa.

Sorry I'm not more of a writer, rather draw pictures.

If anyone is interested here are some pictures of the Chalupa, most of the photos were from 2009, 2010 in Berlin, Germany, some pics were in Chicago during the last 3 months of her life, where she died. After the last foto, there are also a bunch of video links.

































Most videos were in Chicago during the last 3 months of her life, except one. Hope links work: or if its easier, here's my facebook, kind of, just use it for news feeds.

My profile is public, so you can see any pics or videos
https://www.facebook.com/quaggle.doo

but the links below should work even if you are not on facebook.






https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=500378976759175&l=7357951534926029121

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=498540896942983&l=8066626570903535230

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=498184380311968&l=4131571460233095627

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=498181430312263&l=2484319472850166500

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=498762160254190&l=6583398733594263998

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=498620516935021&l=4061429440461110974

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=498180183645721&l=6419052586710077664

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=496628540467552&l=1723906541636251721

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=490531821077224&l=5673106668147150739

My name is Sarah by the way.

I am so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were both lucky to have found each other and share 10 great years together. RIP Chalupa.

Thanks a lot for reading it, know it's long @vball91 and for your help in the past really appreciate it.

I'm so, so sorry for your loss.    I followed Chalupa's threads since her surgery last year. You wrote a beautiful tribute for a beautiful cat. I can tell how much you love her. My thoughts are with you.

Rest in peace, sweet girl. 

What a sweetheart. My condolences. It is really really hard, isn't it.
RIP Chalupa.

Hi Sarah (figured your name wasn't really Chulpa)

Again, deepest condolences. Chulpa was gorgeous and reminds me totally of my Tiger, except where Chulupa is gray/dark, Yiger was orange. Tiger had the same white on the chest etx.

Chulpa was so lucky to you be her guardian angel and give her a long wonderful life. It hurts like heck to lose them but they become great ambassadors of reminding us humans what unconditional love is truly ( wel, there is the condition of feeding, brushing, etc). :lol3:

Again, so sorry. I'm always here to listen if you need a near to vent

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Hi @Rubydoo67 , did notice back when you posted Tigers pic how she reminded me of Chalupa. Remember wanting to see more pics if Tiger, want to see some back before Tiger was sick, do you have any?
It's true about their unconditional love, humans are overrated ( there's some pretty great ones here though). Losing them is devastating, at least to me, not being a cry baby, just feel like all the life is sucked out of me.
Thank you for your support. How is that kitten? Nice to read from you

Hi @GoHolistic thank you for being there all along. Do remember your support in a lot of my posts and feel very lucky to have someone like you to listen and help and even remember us. Have to admit been pretty selfish with forums with Chalupa. Should have tried to help a little more and learn about others situations. We were lucky you were there and still are. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond it means a lot to me! -and thank you for the kind words to Chalupa

@shadowfein thAnk you for reading and responding ! Yes it is hard, you're right. Sounds like you've been through this more than once.

@cocheezie , you've been awesome! So helpful all the time, hope Cocheezie is still doing well. You really take the best care of her , don't think anyone could do better, even a vet. Hope you are okay too, take care of you.

What a lovely tribute to a beautiful sweet girl.  I have tears streaming down my face right now.  I am very sorry for your loss, but glad the two of met and were a blessing to each other.

chalupa said:

Hi @GoHolistic thank you for being there all along. Do remember your support in a lot of my posts and feel very lucky to have someone like you to listen and help and even remember us. Have to admit been pretty selfish with forums with Chalupa. Should have tried to help a little more and learn about others situations. We were lucky you were there and still are. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond it means a lot to me! -and thank you for the kind words to Chalupa

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You're welcome.    And you're not selfish at all. Your first priority was Chalupa and all your attention was on her as it should have been. That is nothing to feel bad about. I don't think I posted much on other people's threads when Sebastian was at the height of his illness. Being a caretaker is emotionally and physically draining. You did a great job caring for her.

I remember you talking about the moon on the night you lost Chalupa. While it brings sadness to you now, later down the road when the moon is out, you will remember the good times.

What a beautiful and happy cat she looked to be. Know that even if you feel alone right now, if you really search inside your heart you will find her there. I love the pictures of her. Especially the roof top. I like your painting as well, or was that Chalupa who did the painting of the bench with three people on it? She looks like she is taking credit for it sitting there in that chair. Almost would expect to see a paintbrush in her paw.

But really you gave her a glorious life and she looked so content.  

Hi Sarah

Fortunately I haven't been through it too often. My first cat died under anaesthetic 11 years ago BUT I had to put my Siamese to sleep 6 weeks ago today and it is damn hard. But I agree with GoHolistic, it does get easier and one day the moon will make you smile.
Thinking of you.

I've been having internet issues and not around much the past week or two, but I always checked your thread.... and then it was locked. She was a beautiful girl, and she seems like a real character. I still remember you saying she liked to watch cartoons when you gave her the Buprenex! I'm so, so sorry, I know your heart is just shattered right now. But she had a wonderful, wonderful second chance at life with you, and with time, the pain will heal. She stomped on your heart, and she'll always reside there. :heart2:

@Quiet Hi! thank you for looking and reading. Chalupa didn't paint that painting although she did try to to make some suggestions maybe adding some birds and squirrels to watch. It was a friend of mines painting, we shared a studio, he's the fella in the pic with Chalupa on the bench. I used his camera a lot.
The worst part so far is getting out of the habits with Chalupa. The hardest is when leave and come home from work. First few days I was calling her in morning and when I came home hoping this was all a nightmare.
When not at work tried to stay outside to search for ferals and strays to give them
food, had an overwhelming desire to feed cats, have plenty food. Did find a mama and kittens, couldn't get to the kittens but fed mama. Tried to help them after but they were gone when I returned. A feral who sometimes came to me for food came to me 5 days in a row starting night she died, that helped.

Hi @LDG thanks for checking out The Chalupa. She was a character, difficult, challenging , wouldn't have it any other way. She lived almost a few months past her expected 57 days to live after diagnosis at least.
Know what my vet said ? She never looked better.
Think she had to reassure me I was doing the right thing after saying that. (Think it was the fluid in her belly, stressed pink nose, made her appear better than if you touch her spine)
Remember years ago read this book, "If only they could speak," it's good for helping to see things from their perspective or trying to , if I remember correctly. Anyway , really wish I could figure out how she felt, and she could talk, call me on the phone if she needed me, but she couldn't and I had to figure out what might be best for her quality of life. Think I was a bit shocked after she was put to sleep, she was still so alive and then nothing. Still not sure how I feel .
Thank you again, didn't realize you read our posts still.
How is Lazlo by the way? I hope still great. Wish you both the best.

@Shadowfein I am very sorry for the loss of both friends. That awful. What happened with your Siamese and why was your other friend under anesthesia? Was it just the anesthesia that caused death?
It is getting easier slightly, although still sick which all started with migraine and nausea night she died, then turned into something else. Mentally coming to terms and coping a little better, not thinking so much about the world ending, was angry too. It's awful.
How are you doing? How did you cope? What made you feel better?