When will cat relax.....

k-niner47

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When oh when will my cat relax enough for us to just simply pet it.

We got a stray from a shelter in October 2013.

Shelter underestimated its age by a few months,or maybe more.

She is an all Black cat named Ubu

That is the 4th name we have given,because she never responds to any others,and i like the way it sounds.

Still doesnt respond to it,but whatever...

Whenever the cat is being petted,it goes into play more,and tries to scratch or bite.

Its been more than 7 months,and it gets frustrating because the scratches,and bites hurt,and create wounds.

She also keeps us up at night unless the doors to all the bedrooms are left ajar,and wakes us up by walking on the bed,and will also try to climb on our stomach,unless we say no.

Otherwise,a very good cat,that uses the litter box great from the start.

Wish i knew what the issue was with this cat,and why the previous owner just abandoned it.

I,m starting to wonder if it isn,t for some of the same reason mentioned here.

We just want to pet it.

We do play with it,maybe not as much as we should,but pretty much daily.

Is it afraid to let us pet it because it feels like we will abandon it anyway?

How do i get the cat to sleep on its own?

Have made a cat bed that it has used before

How can we get it to just let us pet it,and not get excited ,and start clawing or biting us?

We want to want this cat 100 percent,but sometimes .....

cant get another cat right now.

We are also afraid to let it on the balcony for any reason(15th floor)

because she is very fast,and athletic..close to maybe 2yrs old,give or take.

We are afraid she will jump off,and fall to her death because birds are around a lot,and sometimes land on our balcony,and she goes cukoo for birds,when she sees them from the inside.Just not sure if its a good idea,and sometimes we would like to let her out.

All these combined issues are making it not so enjoyable sometimes.

Any ideas will be greatly appreciated...Thanks in advance.
 

p3 and the king

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I am wondering if your cat has behavior issues or a chemical imbalance/psychological issue.  Lots of this are signs of such.  I would consider talking to your vet about a good behavior specialist.  Medication may be required.  Although, it is not a quick and easy fix, it can help a lot.  A second cat would not be a solution here.  Although it does concern me you refer to your cat as "it"... That is very alarming and removing any emotional connection to her.

It doesn't seem like you know a lot about cats?  I could be wrong.  But, cats often prefer other beds (especially yours) to the store bought cat beds.  And cats do not like confined spaces aka closed doors.  These are all normal cat behavior and compromises you have to make when you have cats.  As far as the not responding to her name, she may be deaf?  Have you taken her to the vet at all?  If not, she really needs to go asap!  It's very important.  If her hearing is fine, it could be that she is confused.  You said you changed her name 4 times?  It would confuse anyone.  You need to be consistent with cats.  So, pick a name, stick with it and use it over and over when interacting with her.  Use it when calling her for food.  She'll eventually realize "OK, this is my name."

As far as the biting and scratching and petting go when petting her, this could be inappropriate play with her from before.  People mistakenly let their hands become play objects when they are kittens.  They don't teach them they're not so they grow up and start hurting.  There are signs to look for when a cat is overstimulated and about to strike.  Tensing muscles and a slight "spasm" down the back, ears put back, rolling on their back, narrowed eyes.  They may even growl or spit or meow loudly.  This means, "Stop or I'm going to have to bite!"  Just learn to listen and pick up on cues.  It's not that hard.

Lots of cats aren't cuddly and she may be young.  However, the majority mellow with age.  And she may become more cuddly.  I am sorry it is not pleasant for you.  This is just cats.  Some are super loving and some are aloof.  The big thing is, knowing cats and their behavior can help a lot.  Lots of people think cats are like dogs and get them expecting the same thing and treating it like a dog... With less than desirable results.  Cats can be very wonderful once you learn about them.  First things first, she needs to see a vet and maybe consult a behavior specialist to help you with bonding with your cat and cat behavior in general.  I suggest watching Jackson Galaxy videos online (YouTube).  He is called the Cat Daddy.  He is a cat behavior specialist and he has lots of wonderful tips on just this that can be very helpful and much cheaper than going to a specialist.
 

tabbypip

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Ok. First thing is how are you petting her? Maybe it is the way you are petting her. NOT saying that you are petting wrong, just not what she needs. My scardy cat doesn't like traditional petting. I don't move my hand back and forth. I use very short, slow strokes, then keep my hand in place and just move my fingers. Often he moves around a bit under my fingers to get my fingers right where he wants them. Also, you could try some of the Feliway diffusers that are designed to calm cats. I use them and it has made a big difference. Don't give up. They are worth it. Honestly, best way get a cat to decide to sleep elsewhere is to act like you want her to sleep with you.
 
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k-niner47

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Thank you both for your replies.

To p3

We took her to the vet right after the adoption.

It was the normal exam,and we also did a fecal test,collecting six samples,ans it came back negative.When we first saw her at the shelter,the shelter person read from a sheet of paper about her health issues.She was quite vague,and i never saw the paper myself,but she said "No Major Issues",so i believed her.I find it interesting now,that i never saw that paper she was reading.

 I feed her coco oil daily,and she loves it.She has lots of energy,and loves to sit on our stomachs,and you can hear her purring.The thing is its hard to do sometimes because of us just finished eating.That stomach thing usually happens with her sitting on us,once-thrice/day.

 She behaves very well,respectful of her environment.as not had one bad litter incident since first day here.I will sometimes just stick one of my fingers in front of her face,she will sniff it or sometimes(rarely)rub it with the side of her face(i like that).

  Just wish we knew more about the previous owner,and her experience there.If she is playing with a rattle that i use,then i can pet her with my other hand.

It has improved,but we recently lost our tuxedo cat "Ginger" who was 16.She was very nurturing,and easy to pet for as long as you wanted to.

I will check out the galaxy on youtube.

To Tabbypip

We pet  her gently.she will meow,when she sees us sometimes,and come to us,and one of us will pet here,and she will go on her back,twist,and roll from side to side.You have to be careful when petting her like this,not to stimulate her too much.it can last for a minute or two,then she will start to claw a little,just play like,but if you pet too long then you know what will happen.

What is a fellway diffuser?

Where do you get them?

Ginger was a scardy cat,but it was funny,and endearing,and she wasnt scared of me.I,m not saying this one is,its just we miss Ginger sometimes ,because we could pet her for ever lol,and thats all we want from this cat,and to play with her of course.

So thats it.We have some toys she likes,and i use a string with a yellow,and red thingy near the end that makes her go crazy,and jump in the air.Maybe she likes the color red,and yellow.

Thanks to both of you for your replies.
 

p3 and the king

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Thank you both for your replies.

To p3

We took her to the vet right after the adoption.

It was the normal exam,and we also did a fecal test,collecting six samples,ans it came back negative.When we first saw her at the shelter,the shelter person read from a sheet of paper about her health issues.She was quite vague,and i never saw the paper myself,but she said "No Major Issues",so i believed her.I find it interesting now,that i never saw that paper she was reading.

 I feed her coco oil daily,and she loves it.She has lots of energy,and loves to sit on our stomachs,and you can hear her purring.The thing is its hard to do sometimes because of us just finished eating.That stomach thing usually happens with her sitting on us,once-thrice/day.

 She behaves very well,respectful of her environment.as not had one bad litter incident since first day here.I will sometimes just stick one of my fingers in front of her face,she will sniff it or sometimes(rarely)rub it with the side of her face(i like that).

  Just wish we knew more about the previous owner,and her experience there.If she is playing with a rattle that i use,then i can pet her with my other hand.

It has improved,but we recently lost our tuxedo cat "Ginger" who was 16.She was very nurturing,and easy to pet for as long as you wanted to.

I will check out the galaxy on youtube.

To Tabbypip

We pet  her gently.she will meow,when she sees us sometimes,and come to us,and one of us will pet here,and she will go on her back,twist,and roll from side to side.You have to be careful when petting her like this,not to stimulate her too much.it can last for a minute or two,then she will start to claw a little,just play like,but if you pet too long then you know what will happen.

What is a fellway diffuser?

Where do you get them?

Ginger was a scardy cat,but it was funny,and endearing,and she wasnt scared of me.I,m not saying this one is,its just we miss Ginger sometimes ,because we could pet her for ever lol,and thats all we want from this cat,and to play with her of course.

So thats it.We have some toys she likes,and i use a string with a yellow,and red thingy near the end that makes her go crazy,and jump in the air.Maybe she likes the color red,and yellow.

Thanks to both of you for your replies.
Was it your own vet or the shelters vet?  If the shelters vet, I suggest taking her to your own.  She is almost due for vaccinations anyway.  And you should always take them to see your own vet within 72 hours anyway is the suggestion, even if they see the shelter vet.  Health issues are not what she has I suspect.  And they don't test or check for behavior issues commonly in a lot of shelters.  There just aren't enough money and resources or time.   They do standard test to make sure the can be adopted but that's about it.  However, I am not sure after reading your reply that she even has behavior issues?  She just seems like a normal cat to me.  She's probably young.  And all cats are different.  She could mellow with age and be more affectionate.  But, the biggest thing is that most of this seems normal.  I am sorry about Ginger but the biggest mistake people make is they go out and get another kitty right away or just before their other dies with expectations of it being a replacement cat and it being just like their previous one, especially see "wish they were more affectionate...."  all the time on here.  Jackson Galaxy videos can help you bond with your cat but you need to let go of the expectations because any ground you gain will never be enough.  She will never be Ginger.

Feliway/Comfort Zone may help but it's more for insecure and anxiety ridden cats.  I don't see that here.  You can try it.  You can get them at Petco, PetSmart, any pet specialty store.  They are expensive and some people have good results while others do not.  Its a coin toss.  But if you believe it'll help, by all means, it's worth trying.

Red and yellow are two colors they can see, that is why she is drawn to them.  Try green and blue, too.  Anything else, they can't see the color, it's thought.
 
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k-niner47

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We took her to our own vet.The most expensive one in the city,but a very good,and knowledgeable one.

She was properly vaccinated.December 2013.

The vet was the one who said she was much younger than the shelter estimated,just by looking at OooBoo`s teeth.

I,ve though about getting another more mature cat,3-4 yr old female tuxedo,but only on those bad days we sometimes have with her.

I think it would be ok,because we had a neighbor with an orange tabby female,who was in heat,and they never dealt with it,but she would visit us,to be near Ginger,who was like a motherly calming figure,who also set the rules.

It was kinda cool to watch that process.I doubt that will happen though,as these days ,healthy tuxedos at shelters are very very rare here.

Basically we have treated her the same way we treated Ginger.We dont expect her to be like ginger,but she does have similar traits.

All cats like being treated nice,and they will show that in their own way eventually.

Its nice to have her !

She is made to feel,and is quite comfortable here.

Thanks again...Bye for now.
 

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Every cat is totally unique in personality. They tolerate us on their terms, not ours. Dogs have owners but cats don't. We're just guardians. Cats have yet to be truly domesticated and are only days away from returning to feral (based on scientific studies).

So first, "it" (that's a 1st for me on this forum) may never be a cat who enjoys petting. My fur baby Java will tolerate only a couple of light rubs down his back before he swats at me. However, a couple of times per day he will jump in my lap, purr, and stay for a nap as long as I don't pet him. If, by some miracle, he does want his neck and cheeks scratched, he will nudge my hand. I've read that some cats are just really sensitive to touch and it can actually be painful for them. Maybe we have those kids of cats? But it doesn't mean that they aren't attached to us or don't feel affection. My Java follows me room to room, marks me as his several times per day, kneads my tummy, trills when he wants to play and meows when he can't find me or wants something. It's all about learning to read each cat's unique body language which can be very subtle. Then, I can read his mood and see if he's ready to be held and hugged or wants me to play.

On the complete opposite side, I have an indoor/outdoor neighborhood cat who's slowly adopting us. It's taken him (Tom) months to not fear the indoors and to teach him indoor manners but we're getting there. He was a kibble addict and finally, I've almost got him on 100% wet food! Yeah! Anyway, he's nothing but a big teddy bear. You can hold him anyway you please, brush him, scratch him anywhere, and he doesn't care. He actually begs, even demands, for his butt and middle of his back to be scratched.

Tom's definitely a lap cat and Java never will be. Different personalities but I love both for their uniqueness!

FYI: If you decide to rescue/save another kitty (yeah!), please read some of the articles and threads here on proper cat introductions. Most cats won't accept a newcomer into their territory unless it's done slowly, step by step.

Second, your question about your cat relaxing. I wonder if your cat is getting enough stimulation (eyes, ears, nose and exercise) to satisfy the feral hunter within? Cats don't play to have fun; they are instinctively driven to practice their hunting skills. Unlike dogs who have evolved with domestication, cats have not changed at all. From nose to tail, every part of their body is honed for one task, hunting.

I've had Java for a year (since he was a 2 month feral) and he still needs about 2 hunting and 2 intense running sessions per day to calm him down (and I rotate toys each day). I learned quickly that if I didn't give him his daily exercise and mental stimulation, he'd keep me up all night. Plus, cats are instinctively most active at sunrise and sunset (when their natural prey is active) and some never sleep at night (that's when they use those night vision eyes!).

As for beds, cats will usually pick their own. I bought Java a nice big bed but he wouldn't use it. He preferred sleeping up high on a big chest in the foyer. I moved his bed to the chest and Voila! This is his favorite spot for deep sleep (and every guest through the front door must wonder about my decorating taste). :) As for Tom, he'd sleep on the scratching post until one day, I had a very small, empty box sitting in the floor to take to the trash. Tom walked over, climbed in and pronounced this is MINE! It's far too small for him, looks horribly uncomfortable and he's already split the sides but he sleeps nowhere else now. So let your cat tell you where "it" wants to sleep. Some (like my Java) want to be up high (location matters), and some (like Tom) just want a tight space (location doesn't matter).

One last note. I hope you can find a way to let your kitty back on the balcony. That was satisfying so much of that hunting drive! I don't know where you're located but Java is an indoor only cat and I didn't want to take away his need to be outside hunting. Last fall, I bought the ABO Gear (Australian company) outdoor pop-up tent from Amazon and then this spring, I bought the connecting tunnel (about $60 total together). Java LOVES going outdoors to his tent and tunnel! He probably spends 8 hours a day out there and it must be exhausting work because we're down to only 1 or 2 play sessions a day. I try but he's not interested. Plus, I trained him to wear a harness and leash and he gets to go for a walk each evening. Loves that too!

I bet that your cat would love the ABO Gear tent and/or tunnel! But if not accessible to you, one of the large metal cages for dogs would work and be safe too. I've also seen on the internet fencing/netting just for cats and photos of apartment balconies adapted to be cat safe. Check out Jackson Galaxy's website too (love his very educational show, "My Cat from Hell"). I think there's photos posted of 'catios'.

So sorry about Ginger. She'll never be replaced!

I posted this on another thread but you get the basic idea. The tunnel is fitted into the basement garage window so he can't escape. In the beginning when I only had the tent, he'd pace and beg to get out with every noise heard. Now he can go and come 24/7. But he has a tantrum if the garage door is closed and he can't get in.

 
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k-niner47

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Thanks Southern Belle,that was some read.

Is everyone here a "Cat Writer Novelist",or just a writer :) ?

There is a good reason for not wanting our cat on the balcony.

She will most likely accidentally jump chasing something.I wish i knew her exact age,but she is very young,and active,and very fond of birds.

The neighbor next to us had a male older black cat,who perished while jumping for something.

Thats the story we got ,but to this day we do not believe them.There is a whole story to add there.Let me know if any interest in reading about it.Those people were evicted a good while ago.Despicable people to say the least.

Eventually we will let her out.She was out there in the winter when it wasnt too cold,and we only had her a month or two.It seemed safer,and i was with her,and it was at night.We just want for her to know that its not a good idea to go jumping after anything,and i,m guessing that if she feels like she would be missing out on good stuff being with us,why risk jumping for a bird on a lower balcony etc.Am i right ?

Thanks...

p.s. Thats a hell of a tunnel.Can see how  a cat ,or maybe even a dog would love it in there.
 
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southern belle

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A cat writer novelist? 
  Nah.  I'm just far too verbose and explain stuff with more details than most people want to hear.  At least on forums, I can't see people roll their eyes!


I LOVE to hear cat stories except for those about abuse.  Breaks my heart to think of those little fur babies and how the abuser rarely gets the punishment they deserve!

I checked Canadian Amazon and they have the ABO Gear tunnel as well as other tunnel and tent options (usually under dog category).


When you're ready to let her on the balcony again, this would be a safe option as she will realize that she can't jump inside the tunnel.  Plus, it's spring loaded and collapses flat (storage bag included). 

Actually, I'm thinking of getting a second tunnel.  I like to go outside on the deck (above his tent) and read at night when it's warm.  Java sits in the window looking at me with pleading eyes..."Mommy, I want to sit outside too."

Since your girl is young, she has a lot of energy she needs to burn up every day.  To get the maximum workout in about 15 minutes, I use cardboard boxes, and Kraft brown shipping paper (both leftover from Christmas orders; boxes can be nested for storage) with either the Da Bird feather teaser or the Da Bird mouse teaser.  (He likes to chase the bird and hunt the mouse.)  He jumps in, out, and around the boxes and paper and wow, does that tire Java out fast!  Our indoor/outdoor kitty, Tom, is maybe 3 years (still a teenager).  He loves it too but only lasts about 5 minutes.

Since she seems to like jumping for birds, do you have a toy similar to the Da Bird feather teaser?  It flutters and flies just like a live bird.  I bet she would absolutely love it!
 
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k-niner47

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Great tips!

Yes,we have something similar to the bird feather teaser,and she loves it.She can jump 2feet in the air sometimes trying to catch it.

We let her catch it so she wont get frustrated.

We will be getting other toys


i want something simple that will last...any ideas?

The tunnel looks pricey?

Thanks much.
 

southern belle

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Yes, I definitely noticed that the Canadian Amazon prices are much higher that the US prices! 

I got my tunnel through Amazon under the "Other Sellers on Amazon" as 'used' for $26 (US).  The seller was "Amazon Warehouse" which is basically Amazon reselling their returned items.  I've bought a lot of 'used' stuff at discounted prices from Amazon Warehouse and every item has been brand new.  I'd bet they have the same program in Canada.

The Go Cat feather toy that you linked is the exact same one I have.  The company is sometimes listed as Go Cat Go and sometimes as Da Bird.  Their feather teaser toy has a 2 part rod with the feathers on a string.  Their mouse teaser is a shorter one piece rod and the mouse is attached by a fine wire.  I've found the mouse toy to be much sturdier.

From Amazon, Petco, Petsmart or the local discount dollar stores, here's some of my cats' favorite toys (along with the two Da Bird toys):

Cat Dancer Cat Charmer Interactive Cat Toy

Smarty Cat Crackly Chute Collapsible Tunnel (entertains himself)

Smart Cat Peek-a-Prize Toy Box (drop in treats for nighttime hunting)

laser light

ping pong balls

a dozen or more of small toys to bat around (usually found all furniture)

One important advisory!  DO NOT leave anything with a string (toys, shoe strings, dental floss, yarn, etc.) out where she can find it!!  Java had major surgery at 3 months to remove the 10" shoe string he had eaten off my shoes.  I had no clue that he was a chewer until too late.
 
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k-niner47

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Yeah ,Canada is way more expensive than America for everything now,but dont worry,i,m sure you guys will catch up.Then we`re all %%$%^

Can anyone suggest anything cheaper than

Feliway/Comfort Zone ??

Just speaking to a cashier from Global Pet Foods,they mentioned something called "Sentry Calming Spray"

It costs $20,but i feel the need for a secondary or backup option just incase.

She wakes me up twice a night every night,and on the weekends it can get tough if you want to sleep in.

Just wish there were a way to get her to sleep on he rown in her own bed.She uses chairs,sofas to sleep in.

We have a cat bed in the closet,that she used regularly,but she stopped.

Just want to enjoy the cat...totally.
 
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k-niner47

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Hi All!

Just thought i,d update you.

Cat is more relaxed now,and has responded twice and came to us when we have used the name "Oooboo"

She is also letting us pet her more.She was always well behaved right from the start.

The more we play the better it gets.

Thanks again to all of you who have helped:)

Bye

p.s. The balcony thing will have to wait until we get a harness,and leash.The problem is the leashes at the stores in our neighborhood aren`t that strong,so i,m looking for one on amazon.
 
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