I'm so very sorry for the great loss you have suffered, there is never an easy way to say goodbye after sharing your life with someone for 18 years. Meatball had your love and heart and I'm sure she adored you in return, that kind of love will reside in your heart forever. Know we will all share the burden of your grief, sharing memories is a wonderful tribute to a wonderful cat. Take care of yourself, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. RIP beautiful Meatball!