My daughter kicking and screaming in the new Super Target

I aboslutely adore kids.. and want to have 3 of my own. However, my children will not be spoiled. (That is when I have them) I want my children to appreciate what they have and to understand how lucky they are to have what they have.

I know all kids have their moments and you'll have little tantrums.. there is no such thing as a perfectly behaved child. Dawn.. you're little girl is beautiful and from reading about her prayers.. it sounds like she has a heart of gold. Just from reading what little I have read I think and learning what little I know about her.. I think you are doin a fine job with her


-Cassie

I didn't read the other posts so sorry if I missed something. I have a one year old and one due in 2 months. Is this what I have to look forword too? LOL. My Madalyn cries everytime we go in the car she hates it! But she can be such an at times. My mom takes her every weekend and she says she is so good and she takes her everywhere. I am always when she says this.

Yes, at some point in your life, your sweet 1-yr-old will throw a tantrum in public.

Later both of your children will bicker and argue the livelong day.

Parenthood is such a treat.

You all make me laugh so HARD!! Especially you Donna and Deb! I am right there with all of you who absolutely CANNOT STAND the wailing and tantrums of spoiled children in public places! My worst fears area always set to life, ie: Who ALWAYS gets sat by small children on airplanes?? ME! Who ALWAYS gets sat next to children in restaurants? ME! I find they are everywhere, just waiting to toment me! On my vacation though this weekend in Jackson Hole, we went on this float trip (since I am preggers and cannot do whitewater) and they must have known it was my vacation because they ended up assigning us to the raft WITHOUT children!! Now that was a *miracle*! Very relaxing!

I love kids (don't get me wrong), and can't wait to have my own here shortly in December! I look forward to instilling the values in my child that I was raised with. Both myself and my husband were somewhat shy as kids, but we sure were well-behaved! If my mom told me to do something, I took one look at her face and saw that scary look in her eyes that meant, "if you don't, boy YOU'LL be in trouble!!" I got in trouble, but I was never allowed a tantrum! In my days as a kid, we used to get spanked with the belt! I know these days that is considered child-abuse to hit your kids with a belt!
I'm not so sure I believe in spanking, having a Psychology background I hope to utilizew positive reinforcement as a means of punishment more than negative reinforcement. But I have one of those mean tempers so who knows!!

I don't feel as though a good amount of parents are doing their jobs these days to teach their children good behavior and respect! I used to work in a grocery store for 7 years and I could always tell which parents were very passive when it came to punishing their children! One day I was asking my friend Raquel what ever happened to our friend Janine after she graduated college (Janine was one of those girls who was like 18 and a college senior right after us!) Anyway, she got her teaching degree and you know, right at the end of your degree they have you do your student teaching. So Janine finishes up and does her student teaching. So what happened next?? She never got a job in a school... she joined the Marines! (I never expected this from this cute girl in a million years!!) Why? you may be asking did she join the Marines?? She hated teaching the children! She said they were terrible little mosters in the classroom, with no respect, horrible behaviour and just would not listen! So, she finished up and decided to bag the whole thing! What a waste, simply because parents are not doing their jobs!

I commend you all who do instill values in your children at an early age! And no matter what the problems are that you are having now with them as children, keep it up and help them to learn what they absolutely need to be learning to be good adults! Dawn, I can only look forward to being in your shoes in the next few years! I fear the child tantrum!

*VLINDER*

Vlinder;

My brother has a 3-yr-old, who really is a good kid, but has just recently started, uh, asserting himself. My brother and his wife do the whole "time-out" thing. My brother was complaining that Christopher started not listening when his wife told him to do something. You know, the whole "no" routine. So my brother said he got fed up and swatted him on the butt. That produced an attitude adjustment.

A Super Target?! Awesome! I didn't know they were building those! I hope they build one around me, sometime! I like Target a lot!

Oh I'm sure it did!! And I bet you I'd have been right there with him! I'm not against a spanking at all... but I do want to keep it down to a minimum! If that's what it took to get your brother's kid into shape, good deal. I'm sure he got the picture and will remember that when he tries to pull that crap again, ie: '"No" = Swat to the behind.. I better do what Mom says!!' It must be so hard being a parent and hoping that you are making the right choices for the long-term! It scares me everytime I think about it! One of the things I've read is that Mothers have a tendancy to envoke more punishment on children than fathers do... that whole idea has made me think a lot because I can be pretty strict! I'm sure I'm the one that will go through the whole attitude adjustment once my child gives me the opportunity! What an eye-opener that day will be!

*CIAO*

Well, Vlinder, when the kids were little, I'd say I had more patience than their father did. You get to the point where you can tune things out (for your own sanity). But now that mine are older, I find I am much stricter on issues of responsibility, best effort in school, that sort of thing. Their father always tells me I'm too hard on them.

Reading these posts made me not to have a child until I'm 40 or more!!! I am 26 now, has been married for 2 years...I love children but I don't want any for myself. :chicken: I think children are very time consuming and selfish creatures And I don't think that I am ready to give all my time & energy for one (or god forbid, MORE, ) I have got 2 cats and some fish now. I want 3 more kitties, a dog and a parrot for the near future...

I also don't think that I have the courage to give birth I am waiting for the times where men will be able to give birth

My mother was very strict also & I was a very shy child... I remember her one time leaving me to the neighbor and telling me not to move from the place I was sitting. Of course I didn't move; even when I had to pee, either :LOL: :laughing2 I also remember all my teachers telling my mother that I was a very well behaved & hard-working student but was way too shy

dodo...

I`m with Elinor...I really get annoyed with UNDISCIPLINED kids in public places screaming and carrying on. However, every time I see a child carrying on because his or her mother won`t get him this or that I smile, and say....there will be one less spoiled child in this world. Dawn, the easy thing for you would have been to buy your daughter what she wanted, but that wouldn`t have been the best thing under the circumstances. I tip my hat to you for your cool-headedness in a stressful situation. You have no reason to return to Target any way but with your head held high. You acted as a good mother.

I once went into a store to do some shopping. There was a little guy about 4 years old whirling about in the store with his arms spread out. He bumped right into me. Soft as I am he didn`t hurt himself. Fortunately I didn`t have a shopping cart or he probaably would have been hurt. He looked up at me with a look that made me know he knew he had invaded my personal space. I looked down at the little guy and said"You have to watch where you`re going, young man". His mother lit into me, telling me that he didn`t have to watch where he was going...He was just doing what children his age do, and I obviously didn`t have any children or I would know that. No, I don`t have any children, but I do know that children his age do that sort of thing. I also know it is something that there is a time and place for and that childhood is the time for learning the time and place for everything. I spoke in anger when I told her that Obviously she didn`t know how to bring up the child she had. But really, the behavior problem wasn`t the child, here, it was the mother. She condoned his actions in an inappropriate place. He was just being a child...but I wouldn`t remember it now, 3 years later if the mother hadn`t defended his actions instead of taking the opportunity to gently teach him a lesson

Thank you all so much for this thread! See, I feel the way most of you do about undisciplined children. But whenever I've sought relief from the intrusions of brats I've heard either "You've never had kids so you don't know anything about these things," or "Men don't know anthing about these things." And I'm sure I'll hear the same now, even after reading these posts in which you've all expressed sentiments similar to my own.

*waits for tone of thread to suddenly change*

Nevertheless, I now know it's not me! It's the little brats who've conned their parents, who themselves couldn't wait to be conned so as to demonstrate their political correctness. ("That's my out-of-control screaming kid," announced the yuppie father and mother proudly.) It's the post-Doctor-Spock "child psychology" which seeks to substitute so-called "understanding" for discipline. It's great to be off the "grump" hook on this subject! Thank you!



=^..^=

After reading Tiggeytoes comments, I feel I have to tell my experience of running into kids acting up in the stores, running, pushing and laughing loudly. A little boy bumped into me, about 7, and I said in a low voice, "stop running and yelling". He stopped short, looked at me and backed away and said "okay". At least he didn't run into me again. No mother in sight or I probably would have gotten a lecture, too.

It always amazes me to see how some parents let their children behave in public. As a strict parent, it drives me nuts because then I have to explain to my children why they don't get to do "such and such" just because their friends or other children are doing it. I think a lot of parents are just taking the path of least resistance, which will only backfire in the long run. Being strict and getting these kids to behave is HARD!

I took the kids grocery shopping this morning with their grandma, and Amy behaved perfectly. I was proud of her.

Perfect timing with this thread. I was in Wal-Mart yesterday, and 2 kids (one being at least 12 or 13) came flying around the corner and almost ran right into me. The older one was leading a younger (6ish?) one in running around, playing some sort of hide-and-seek from other kids.

I, never being at a loss for words, said, "This is a store and not a playground. You need to stop running around like it is." And to the older one, "If you're old enough to be carrying around a pocketbook, you're old enough to behave appropriately in a store."

Can't help it. The teacher in me always pops out.

Dodo....I know how you feel. I LOVE kids......but also LOVE it when they go home! Maybe that is why I never had any of my own. I feel kind of like I am missing out on something, though. But I am scared to death of pregnancy, and giving birth, and the responsibility that comes with a child. Heck, I am doing good to remember to feed and water my cats every day, (which of COURSE I do), but a child.....wow. The responsibility scares me worse than the pain.
I am bottle feeding two, week old kittens right now.They wake me up in the middle of the night crying, and I have to go fix the 'formula' and feed them...but at least anytime I want to leave, I can just leave!!!!! I don't know if this makes any sense.
I would make a great mom...I know that...but I am so scared, and so set in my ways, I am almost 36, so life as I know it would be over...and the money!!!!!!!! How on earth do people afford kids??
But part of me DOES want a baby!!!!!!!!!

I want to have kids someday, I hope maybe within the next five years (I'm 26 now). I'm scared about the whole discipline issue though.

I was one of the rare kids who never threw a tantrum or ran out of control. Not once, ever. I was too scared of embarrassing or disappointing my parents. All my parents did was raise their tone of voice slightly when they said my name, and I knew I was heading down the wrong path. It never occurred to me to sass back or refuse to obey.

Now I'm stuck with no examples of how to effectively discipline my children, who will most likely be less self-restrained than I was. My parents are no help--they never had to do it. Expecting my kids to "just mind" like I did is probably naive. Are there classes for this? Or do I have to just fly by the seat of my pants?

Here's the thing about parenting... and believe me, I'm no expert, but.....

There are no rules, there is no "best way", every child is different and it seems, at least with my kids, every parenting styles is different, what works with one will not necessarily work with another. The things, you do the best you can, according to what YOU believe is right, and hopefully they will turn out okay.

I think, that up until about 9 or 10, perhaps even younger than that, you can raise a child, instill within them the basics of what they will need... morals ethics and so on. After that, everything else is advice, they should by then know the difference between right and wrong and ultimately at that age, they should know and will do the right thing. Of course it is still our responsibility to make sure they are in the right situations and with the right people doing the right things... Kids will make mistakes, push the envelope, figure out what they can get away with and what they can't... that's what they do.. how they learn.. we hopefully guide them.


Being a parent is scary business, but very rewarding.


And all this crap about " you must not have kids, what do you know", since when does one need to have kids to use common sense and know what is and is not acceptable behavior. Those people kill me, thinking they have a corner on the market when it comes to teaching there kids social interaction.

Okay... im dronning on...

Remember this is jut my opinion....


Ken