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My daughter kicking and screaming in the new Super Target

post #1 of 37
Thread Starter 
Well, now that I've shared my daughter's sweet side (See the Heaven's Voicemail thread), I felt I have to share her humiliating tantrum story (humiliating for me, that is).

Today our brand new Super Target opened. We've been waiting on pins and needles for months for this store to open, especially since they tore down the old Target to be the parking lot. Months with no Target at all is pretty sad.

Anyway, I took the kids today to check it out. I was only planning on buying tick shampoo for the dog and milk. (My husband gets paid Friday so I don't have much to spend and can't float checks yet!) Well, there was this really cute Power Puff girl denim floppy hat that I showed Amy (mistake number one). Of course she wanted it, and she just looked so cute, :girly1: that I gave in. Which means of course that I now have to get Adam something too.

So we're looking around and see the cool decorating things they have. Amy liked a flower night light :daisy: that would go so well in her room, so I gave her the choice of light or hat, and she picked hat. Adam wanted a hat too by then. So we go off searching for cute hats for little boys. Not any to be found in this great huge Super Target. So I say, how about a puzzle instead. He says yes, and Amy starts asking for a toy instead of the hat. I say no because I told her I'd get her the hat and nothing else. The last thing we need in this house is more toys!

So we're looking at the puzzles, and Amy's whining and starting to cry about getting a toy. I warn her that if she keeps it up, she won't even get the hat. Needless to say, she didn't stop, so I put the hat back. You should have seen her! She was in the cart, kicking and screaming and thrashing around like a two year old. I still had things to get, so I was pushing this child around Super Target getting looks from EVERYONE. I actually had one lady ask her why she was crying. Not what I wanted to hear at the time. I'm sure she thought I was a bad mother. Amy cried (i.e., screamed) all the way out of the store, all the way home, and up into her room, where she then got a spanking.

I was mortified. There were people I know there. This will be me the next time I go to Super Target.
post #2 of 37
Oh Dawn, do I remember those days! My daughter threw a few of those tantrums in her day. I would get right in her face and say in a very quiet, under my breath, lips not even moving, voice that she had better knock it off and now! I must have been pretty convincing or she must have thought I was possessed, because she'd stop. If not, I hauled her right out to the car, whether I was finished or not.
post #3 of 37
Thread Starter 
I've left the store before too. But this time (pout) I just didn't want to leave. Thankfully I didn't make that threat, or I would have had to.

Amy actually had the nerve to ask this afternoon where her Power Puff Girls hat is. I said, what hat? She said, the one you bought at Target. I coulda strangled her!
post #4 of 37
Oh Dawn, I bet that is so embarrassing.

I don't have kids but I sure feel bad for the mom's
at the grocery store who have a child who decides to act
up. I think I would panik, if I were in your shoes.

When I was a little tike, and started acting up my mother
would ask me if I needed to go to the car to "GET HAPPY"
That term always meant a spanking. :LOL: That never worked
though because I knew to "get happy" meant a spanking so
I would always scream louder, yelling... "don't beat me butt"
In front of whomever would listen. Thank goodness I don't
remember this.

Well... Dawn way to go for keeping your cool!!
I can't believe your little angel asked where her hat is.
Too classic
post #5 of 37

Who gives a rat's behind what other people think. I share your pain though. I've been there and done that. I simply hauled her little a$$ out the door into the car. But I know how temptation is too. I'm glad my Amy is 25, although she can still be a pain in the a$$ sometimes, even at that age.

post #6 of 37
Thread Starter 
Donna - Amy is 2 months away from being five. She's way too old to behave that way. I think the anticipation of the spanking was worse than the actual spanking. She had to wait for me to finish shopping, drive home, put away all our stuff. Then she got the spanking. I was sure to explain ALL that she had done wrong (whining, crying, tantrums, being greedy, and disobeying multiple times). Then she got the spanking. I was just glad I was able to keep my cool since my temper can sometimes be pretty quick.

Swalker - A long time ago, Amy bit her brother when I was getting groceries. I had a whole cartload full and we were on the last item. I told her that I was going to spank her when we got home. She proceeded to tell everyone at the store that I was going to spank her. I just nodded and said, yes, and you deserve it too.

Let me just say, I pray for patience every morning of my life, and ask forgiveness every night for not being patient enough!
post #7 of 37

I noticed that as I got older I have very little patience for young children. (nothing personal to you). It seems that whenever I go out there are kids that are screaming their heads off misbehaving while the parents just sit there and ignore them. Drives me NUTS! And I hate going out to dinner because I always ask for non-smoking. Almost every single time, I'd get stuck near a table with a monster kid. My daughter would say "Oh mom, just ignore it". Well, one day we were in Denny's and there was a couple with two kids sitting behind HER in a booth. The little crumbsnatcher boy was jumping up and down on the seat, grabbing his father around the neck and yelling loud. I could see in my daughter's face that she was quite pissed off. I just looked at her and said "Oh Amy, just ignore it". She got mad. We finally had to ask the waiter to move our seat.

I give you alot of credit having two young kids. Being 48, I could never do it now. I'd be in jail for either child abuse or murder.


post #8 of 37
When my son was 5 1/2 I was shopping with my sister (and him) in Bennington VT. We stopped in Fashion Bug to look at a couple of shirts and "Aunt Leslie" remarked how wild Rog had been in Burger King. All the sudden he SCREAMED at the top of his lungs and pointed at her telling all in the store that......SHE CALLED ME A PIG!!!!!

To this day he still swears up and down that Aunt Leslie said that! funny now - but at the time - I wanted to wring his little chicken neck!
Dawn - I am sorry that you had such a bad day - just remember the Home Deopt story when you tuck her in to bed tonight!
post #9 of 37
Thread Starter 
Donna - I HATE it when parents allow their children to misbehave in restaurants. My husband and I are VERY strict parents. When we're in a restaurant, they sit in their chair, never leave it except to use the restroom, and talk in civilized voices, which can be a challenge with kids 4 and 2. But they accept this is how they must behave in restaurants. I for one do not want to be seated next to uncontrolled children, restaurants cost too much for that.

Now, on the other hand, I have a very good friend who lets her children run wild in restaurants (actually anywhere in public). My children and I go out to eat with them quite often, and this makes it hard on my children. They don't understand why their friends get to run around, climb under the table, lay on the chairs, etc. I just say, too bad, stay in your chair.

My kids are usually so well behaved in public, that's why today was especially hard.
post #10 of 37
Well now Donna....my mom was almost 47 when she gave birth to her 4th and accidental child!!! (me) So you COULD do it...LOL hee-hee

Dawn!!!!! I LOVED that story about the kids in Walmart!!! Thanks for bring a smile to my face...although I am sure you weren't smiling at the time!!!!!! :laughing:
post #11 of 37

Just the thought of having to do diapers and 2 a.m. feedings again makes me want to have a route canal through one of my sphincter muscles or better yet, chew aluminum foil.

I give your mother alot of credit. I would never be able to do that. I do better with friend's kids cuz I know they'll be going home eventually.


post #12 of 37
My mom gave birth to my sister at age 48!!!!!! - I agree with Donna
about liking the alternatives to giving birth at our age - I am 47.
Thank God for 'the pause'!!!!!!!!! - (that is what we call menopause at the office)
post #13 of 37
There is NO WAY on this green earth I would have another kid. When kids in the store are running around acting like fools, the teacher in me comes out, and I tell them to behave. I got stern with a little kid in the airport a couple of weeks ago who was squirming, screaming, and trying to get away from his brother. That shut him up quick.

I have a 3 year-old nephew and a 5 month-old niece. I just laugh when my nephew acts like a brat in public. My sister-in-law always looks so embarrassed. She looks at me and I say, "Been there. Done that."
post #14 of 37
Being the parent of 3 children one of which is 7 as we speak, and being very strict, I would have "busted Butt" right then and there. To me, (and this is MY personal opinion, and im not saying that anyone else should do this, or is a bad parent if they don't), If one waits until you finnish shopping,out to the car,home, before deciding to disciplin a child then its to late. The child has already succeeded in doing what they wanted. It has worked for us, such to the point that I or Sandie has ever had to worry about things being touched in a store or tatrums, although will admit that our daughter tried more than once to see if we were serious about a spankin right there in the store.

To me, alot of what is wrong with kids today is not enough supervision, and definatly not enough discipline.

post #15 of 37
Thread Starter 
I have not yet been brave enough to spank my child in public. Lately there seem to be too many busy bodies out there just ready to complain to management or even call CPS on you just for disciplining your child. Also, Amy was punished immediately, she had her hat, which she desparately wanted, taken away. Since she's almost 5, she understood waiting until we got home. Now, with a 2 year old, this wouldn't work nearly as well. Also, waiting for her punishment and thinking about it is really hard on her. Trust me, I'm strict, and tantrums are punished in my house. So is hitting, biting, potty mouth, sassing, etc. Actually Amy's friends wonder why she's not allowed to do a lot of the stuff they are. My answer, because I'm the boss, not the child!
post #16 of 37
Although I understand Dawn's reluctance, I'm right there with you, Ken. A swat on the butt right then and there does wonders. I personally wouldn't have lasted all the way home if a 5 year old was carrying on in the car like that. I wasn't given that much patience. I've been known to pull the car over. I can't take that much distraction when I'm driving.
post #17 of 37
I agree with you 100%, Ken!! But now people are way too lienient(sp?) and they let the world revolve around the children. So it would scare me to take the well- deserved disciplinary action. All it takes is one nosy, busy-body to call the cops on you for child abuse. And that's a shame!
Donna: that's so funny that you say that!! My mom says the exact same thing!! She thanks me everyday for not getting pregnant as a teenager and making her have to raise a child.
Dawn: hang in there! It sounds to me like you did the right thing. Every kid throws a temper-tantrum at least once! Just reinforce that if she keeps it up evrytime you go to the store, she will be spanked when you get home...and you will not buy her anything anymore. My mom would just give me a look and heaven help me if I embarassed her!
post #18 of 37
I have to say that one of my top 3 pet peeves is screaming/crying childern. where ever I'm at. the mall, dinner, grocery store, target, whatever. it sets my teeth on edge & drives me bonkers. I've been driven out of places before because I can't deal with the wailing.

Dawn this is NOT intended to you at all, but I personally find it extremely rude of people who allow thier kids to scream and cry in a public place with no regard to everyone else within earshot.

just my personal hot spot.
post #19 of 37

I can relate to what you are saying about not having the patience for little kids anymore. I am 49 and was babysitting my grandaughter while my daughter is in college. She is such a spoiled child and so determined to have it all her way. I had to give it up. I too cant stand kids acting up in a restaurant. It seems a lot of parents dont seem to give a dam what their kids do anymore. I agree a root canal or sticking needles in my eyes is prefrable to having to care for kids on a regular basis.

Dawn I know what you are going through right now with your kids.I had five of them. You at least care enough to dicipline them and kids do need to know their limits. The worst thing you could have done is to give in to a tantrum. Hang in there.
post #20 of 37
I agree with disciplining children and there are too many who need it and don't get any kind of discipline. I babysat a little girl who was so cute, looked like Shirley Temple. She would throw a tantrum because her mother and father would not do anything to make her stop. One day she had one with me and I went and got a glass of water and threw it in her face. She looked stricken but she stopped. I told her that is what happens when you act like a baby. I never had another problem with her but as soon as mom and dad showed up, she would start wailing.:confused3
post #21 of 37
I aboslutely adore kids.. and want to have 3 of my own. However, my children will not be spoiled. (That is when I have them) I want my children to appreciate what they have and to understand how lucky they are to have what they have.

I know all kids have their moments and you'll have little tantrums.. there is no such thing as a perfectly behaved child. Dawn.. you're little girl is beautiful and from reading about her prayers.. it sounds like she has a heart of gold. Just from reading what little I have read I think and learning what little I know about her.. I think you are doin a fine job with her

post #22 of 37
I didn't read the other posts so sorry if I missed something. I have a one year old and one due in 2 months. Is this what I have to look forword too? LOL. My Madalyn cries everytime we go in the car she hates it! But she can be such an at times. My mom takes her every weekend and she says she is so good and she takes her everywhere. I am always when she says this.
post #23 of 37
Yes, at some point in your life, your sweet 1-yr-old will throw a tantrum in public.

Later both of your children will bicker and argue the livelong day.

Parenthood is such a treat.
post #24 of 37
You all make me laugh so HARD!! Especially you Donna and Deb! I am right there with all of you who absolutely CANNOT STAND the wailing and tantrums of spoiled children in public places! My worst fears area always set to life, ie: Who ALWAYS gets sat by small children on airplanes?? ME! Who ALWAYS gets sat next to children in restaurants? ME! I find they are everywhere, just waiting to toment me! On my vacation though this weekend in Jackson Hole, we went on this float trip (since I am preggers and cannot do whitewater) and they must have known it was my vacation because they ended up assigning us to the raft WITHOUT children!! Now that was a *miracle*! Very relaxing!

I love kids (don't get me wrong), and can't wait to have my own here shortly in December! I look forward to instilling the values in my child that I was raised with. Both myself and my husband were somewhat shy as kids, but we sure were well-behaved! If my mom told me to do something, I took one look at her face and saw that scary look in her eyes that meant, "if you don't, boy YOU'LL be in trouble!!" I got in trouble, but I was never allowed a tantrum! In my days as a kid, we used to get spanked with the belt! I know these days that is considered child-abuse to hit your kids with a belt!
I'm not so sure I believe in spanking, having a Psychology background I hope to utilizew positive reinforcement as a means of punishment more than negative reinforcement. But I have one of those mean tempers so who knows!!

I don't feel as though a good amount of parents are doing their jobs these days to teach their children good behavior and respect! I used to work in a grocery store for 7 years and I could always tell which parents were very passive when it came to punishing their children! One day I was asking my friend Raquel what ever happened to our friend Janine after she graduated college (Janine was one of those girls who was like 18 and a college senior right after us!) Anyway, she got her teaching degree and you know, right at the end of your degree they have you do your student teaching. So Janine finishes up and does her student teaching. So what happened next?? She never got a job in a school... she joined the Marines! (I never expected this from this cute girl in a million years!!) Why? you may be asking did she join the Marines?? She hated teaching the children! She said they were terrible little mosters in the classroom, with no respect, horrible behaviour and just would not listen! So, she finished up and decided to bag the whole thing! What a waste, simply because parents are not doing their jobs!

I commend you all who do instill values in your children at an early age! And no matter what the problems are that you are having now with them as children, keep it up and help them to learn what they absolutely need to be learning to be good adults! Dawn, I can only look forward to being in your shoes in the next few years! I fear the child tantrum!

post #25 of 37

My brother has a 3-yr-old, who really is a good kid, but has just recently started, uh, asserting himself. My brother and his wife do the whole "time-out" thing. My brother was complaining that Christopher started not listening when his wife told him to do something. You know, the whole "no" routine. So my brother said he got fed up and swatted him on the butt. That produced an attitude adjustment.
post #26 of 37
A Super Target?! Awesome! I didn't know they were building those! I hope they build one around me, sometime! I like Target a lot!
post #27 of 37
Oh I'm sure it did!! And I bet you I'd have been right there with him! I'm not against a spanking at all... but I do want to keep it down to a minimum! If that's what it took to get your brother's kid into shape, good deal. I'm sure he got the picture and will remember that when he tries to pull that crap again, ie: '"No" = Swat to the behind.. I better do what Mom says!!' It must be so hard being a parent and hoping that you are making the right choices for the long-term! It scares me everytime I think about it! One of the things I've read is that Mothers have a tendancy to envoke more punishment on children than fathers do... that whole idea has made me think a lot because I can be pretty strict! I'm sure I'm the one that will go through the whole attitude adjustment once my child gives me the opportunity! What an eye-opener that day will be!

post #28 of 37
Well, Vlinder, when the kids were little, I'd say I had more patience than their father did. You get to the point where you can tune things out (for your own sanity). But now that mine are older, I find I am much stricter on issues of responsibility, best effort in school, that sort of thing. Their father always tells me I'm too hard on them.
post #29 of 37
Reading these posts made me not to have a child until I'm 40 or more!!! I am 26 now, has been married for 2 years...I love children but I don't want any for myself. :chicken: I think children are very time consuming and selfish creatures And I don't think that I am ready to give all my time & energy for one (or god forbid, MORE, ) I have got 2 cats and some fish now. I want 3 more kitties, a dog and a parrot for the near future...

I also don't think that I have the courage to give birth I am waiting for the times where men will be able to give birth

My mother was very strict also & I was a very shy child... I remember her one time leaving me to the neighbor and telling me not to move from the place I was sitting. Of course I didn't move; even when I had to pee, either :LOL: :laughing2 I also remember all my teachers telling my mother that I was a very well behaved & hard-working student but was way too shy

post #30 of 37
I`m with Elinor...I really get annoyed with UNDISCIPLINED kids in public places screaming and carrying on. However, every time I see a child carrying on because his or her mother won`t get him this or that I smile, and say....there will be one less spoiled child in this world. Dawn, the easy thing for you would have been to buy your daughter what she wanted, but that wouldn`t have been the best thing under the circumstances. I tip my hat to you for your cool-headedness in a stressful situation. You have no reason to return to Target any way but with your head held high. You acted as a good mother.

I once went into a store to do some shopping. There was a little guy about 4 years old whirling about in the store with his arms spread out. He bumped right into me. Soft as I am he didn`t hurt himself. Fortunately I didn`t have a shopping cart or he probaably would have been hurt. He looked up at me with a look that made me know he knew he had invaded my personal space. I looked down at the little guy and said"You have to watch where you`re going, young man". His mother lit into me, telling me that he didn`t have to watch where he was going...He was just doing what children his age do, and I obviously didn`t have any children or I would know that. No, I don`t have any children, but I do know that children his age do that sort of thing. I also know it is something that there is a time and place for and that childhood is the time for learning the time and place for everything. I spoke in anger when I told her that Obviously she didn`t know how to bring up the child she had. But really, the behavior problem wasn`t the child, here, it was the mother. She condoned his actions in an inappropriate place. He was just being a child...but I wouldn`t remember it now, 3 years later if the mother hadn`t defended his actions instead of taking the opportunity to gently teach him a lesson
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