Sad about my ferals

foodsanta

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In the past year 5 of my ferals have died and I feel helpless. 2 were hit by cars, 1 disappeared, 2 were euthanized after suffering with cancer and becoming weak. I am devastated. One of the ones euthanized, Smudge,was already TNRed but had found a woman who was going to let him live with her after being vetted. I trapped him again, not easy and the vet said his mouth was filled with cancer. He was always on the outskirts and now I know why.

The 1st one hit by a car, Willow, was afraid of some of the colony and kept her distance. She was my favorite and a great mom. She followed my and waited for me by the curb but kept her space. I planned on bringing her home if I could get her and then I found her dead in the road in a puddle where she waited for me to arrive, devastating me.

Rosie was a friendly comedienne. I would find her in trees in flowerpots, on porches, everywhere and all the cats loved her. She was also killed by a car.

Pepe was a busy guy always having fun, babysat all the kittens, always in the yard I feed in, disappeared now for almost a year.

Phantom is my cat at homes' twin brother, small and skittish. He would hide on a porch of an empty house and I would slide him some food. He was displaced when new people moved in but would always show up for meals until this last winter spring. He was more matted, scrawny, coughing, sneezing. I bought lysine treats to help him but couldn't always find him. He started appearing a block away with another group of ferals and eating now and then with them and he started traveling more. Recently I found him perching in odd spots and when I would try to feed him he would not eat and he looked so weak to me so I worried about parasites. 2 nights ago he was perching at the entrance to the gate where I feed the most cats and I asked him if he was ok and needed help. All the other cats were hungry so I told him I'd be right back and to wait. He followed me and walked towards me honking like a goose almost. Then he walked back outside. I dropped a bowl of food for the others and went to check on him. He was perching in the first spot. I gave him h20 and said there waiting for the ACO to bring me a carrier. He tried to get away from her net and collapsed in the street. We took him to the shelter gave him a bed and water and got him to the vet in the morning. The vet said he had tumors in his nose and a hole in his palette and that he had been suffering for a long time. The ACO had him euthanized when I was not there.

I have 2 jobs to try to support them. I feed them every night wet and dry. I don't live where they are and live in a small apt. I feel helpless and heartbroken and unable to help them as much as they need. How could I have let him suffer so badly so long? Is there anyone else who has gone through this too and does caring for ferals ever get easier? Does anyone know a great animal communicator. I am so sad.
 
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shadowsrescue

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First off thank you so much for all that you have done for caring for the ferals.  You have been an angel to them.  You gave them fresh food and water daily and loved them with all of your heart.  When no one else cared, you were there for them.  They all knew they were loved. 

I am so very sorry for the loss of so many of your cats.  It must be devastating to watch so many die in such a short time.  When caring for ferals there is only so much we can do.  Giving them food, water, shelter and love is alot, but in many ways they need so much more, but it is often not possible.  There is little you could have done for those that were so ill. 

I do have a good animal communicator.  You can check out her website at http://www.insightwithanimals.com  Another lady who many on this forum use is http://www.enlightenedanimals.com/index.html  I have found it helpful to get some information and to hear what my ferals have to say.  Each animal communicator will need a picture of the animals you want to speak with. 

I find that caring for ferals never gets any easier.  I worry about them in the cold, snow, rain, storms, heat, etc...  I worry for their safety from cars, human, predators, poison, etc...  Yet I love and care for them the best that I can.  There are rewards too and try to find many each day.

You are in my thoughts during this difficult time. 

Are there any ferals left in your colony?  Do you know if they are all TNR'd?  Spaying/neutering and vaccinating will help them out in the long run too.  It does help with wandering of the males as well as fighting.  Of course it helps the females as it is much less stress on their bodies than constant pregnancies.
 
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foodsanta

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Hi Shadows Rescue. I am new to this site, any site for that matter. I sent an email response. Oops. Thank you so much for your response and for caring. I have 3 unneutered males that I know of in my primary colony. I got 30+ cats/kittens fixed, forget how many for sure. I don't know where the boys live as they are new this year to me. I don't have a ton of $ but when I have I will seek help from an animal communicator. I am grateful for your response. Thank you.
 

tonyd4life

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I've lost all seven of my colony in less than a year. Four were trapped and removed (killed) by the property/business owners last October. Another was hit by a car around Thanksgiving. The two remaining made it through the horrible winter we had and it appears the property owners have now removed them in the past couple of weeks. All were TNR'd and vaccinated, and I had been caring for them for three years. It is absolutely devastating to lose these last two as I was so very close to relocating them this month. I try to remember that the quality of life I provided was really great for them and made a huge difference in their daily existence, however I cannot stop thinking I should have done more by relocating the entire colony in a timely manner. You can only do your best and there are so many hazards beyond our control that these colony's experience. As sad as I am at the moment I would certainly do it all over again without a second thought.
 
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foodsanta

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Tonyd4life- how devastating for you. What heartless property owners. I just don't understand people sometimes. I dream of a day when I will be able to buy a home or a barn and relocate my ferals to a more welcoming environment. I pray for my fortune to come in. I spend very extra cent feeding cats though, lol. I am so sorry you had such a heartbreaking horrible experience. I can say "don't blame yourself" but I know how hard it is to stop blaming yourself. I don't know if I ever will.
 
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foodsanta

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This is Phantom. The night he cried to me for help. :'(. I knew he was sick but not THAT sick. So sorry Phantom.
 
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