Rehome or not?

Alright so I've made several posts about this before and you guys have given great suggestions that I"ve tried and its helped somewhat. So here's the rundown

Original cat: tiny tuxedo girl, 1 year old

New cat: big tuxedo guy, 2 years old

After no less than 3 separate introduction/feliway/etc, I've gotten them to this interim stage. They don't fight on sight of each other, and honestly their fighting is restricted to only several moments only:

Fight one: occasionally the new cat will attempt to corner and groom the original cat. She doesn't appreciate this and usually either attempts to run (which causes him to chase her) and then a fight. This happens 100% of the time if I let them on the same bed as me, so now they're both not allowed on the bed, which I think original cat resents a little. 

Fight two: New cat will occasionally jump out and ambush original cat. I don't think he's doing it maliciously, he seems to want to play, but the original cat is terrified of him and will run away.

It's weird because they co-exist besides the occasional fight (no blood drawn), and I"m not sure if this is as good as its going to get? They don't play together (and in fact, the original cat WILL NOT play if I try to play with them both), so they need two separate play times. It feels almost like I have two separate pets who don't like to interact at all. 

I got new cat because original cat seemed to be bored when I was at work, but now since they don't play together, they just BOTH seem to be bored (well new cat is bored and frustrated). Original cat was needy and couldn't be out of sight of me before new cat, and she remains this way after getting a buddy. So basically, most of the things that I got a second cat for have not been resolved (needyness, boredom, etc) by the new cat. It's just kind of...doubled it, except now there are fights and my original cat is just generally more fearful now and rarely purrs when before she used to be a purr machine :/ It's been 5 months since I got the new cat. 

I recently got an opportunity to give New cat to a new home but I'm not sure if this is the right decision or if I'm being selfish for wanting two cats that are friends rather than two cats who just acknowledge each other's existence (and barely?) The new cat has no issues, its just their relationship is not great, and I know I can't force it. I like my new cat, he's adorable but at the same time, having two cats who hate to interact with each other but both have high play drives is rather exhausting since it's just me in a small apt alone. Do  you guys have any thoughts?

I took in a stray 3 years ago, a tortie mind you. She is aggressive, whiny, and the only time she shows affection is at 2AM, she'll crawl on my chest purring, and snuggle bump me, suckling on my arm and kneading. Then a year later I adopted two rescues, kittens. I introduced them slowly, fearing my tortie would kill them.My tortie was terrified of them, she would hiss and swat at them...so I bought a book on introducing cats, I can't remember the author, but I did everything the author said to do. I bought two cat towers, I put Feliway plug ins, through out the house.  It took about 5 months for me to even be able to leave all three cats unsupervised the fighting was so bad.

2 years later, they co-exist-the tortie isn't crazy about them, but she seems OK with them and she has established herself as the alpha cat. She would never play when they were playing until recently. She will sleep on the bed with them, but not touching, she will let the other female rub up against her but she recoils in HORROR and makes a face but lets her do it. I have seen gradual improvement, they even chase each other through the house now and it doesn't end up in a fight.

I would suggest giving it time, try Feliway and I highly recommend two cat towers. Give them each their own vertical space.

If you do chose to get rid of the new cat I wouldn't try to get any other cat friends for your original cat.

I don't know how much of this you have been told before but at the Humane Society where I work this is what we tell people.

Step 1.  Keep the cats in separate rooms and fed each on either side of the door.

     Exchange toys and used blankets between them (after you know neither is sick)

     Site swap by putting one cat in a room for the day and let the other one roam the house

     Nest day do the opposite

2,  Put up a baby gate (maybe one on top of the other if they are jumpers)

      Do this for brief periods and see if they are staring each other down

     If no aggressive behavior is seen, start feeding them on opposite sides of the barrier

     You may have to start with the food several feet away from the barrier

3.  If all is going well let them meet briefly to smell each other - then put them away

     Increase the time together and have a friend help you play with both at the same time

4.  Increase the amount of supervised time together- do not leave them alone

5.  If any they are hostile or uncomfortable with any step go back to the previous one

This is very time consuming and you can not rush the process.  Cats are all about smell and territory. They love to play and sometimes forget all about the other cat. I have been told this plan works about 90% of the time.  Cat trees to give them their own space are great but I would not start there.

I would not consider re-homing the one before you taken the time with the above steps.  Also, you have taken this cat in and now he thinks he has a forever home so sending him back is not really fair.  They may become friends as a result of the introduction steps or they just tolerate each other's presence. Lastly they may become friends after several months.  Keep in mind that your resident cat may never warm up to others so re-homing this one and getting another may not be a good plan.

Good luck and I hope things work out for you and your cats!

It sounds like your older cat does not want another cat in the house. Why, then would you even consider a third? Cats will learn to adapt and live together and although their relationship is not what YOU want it to be, it is what it is. You'll have to learn to live with it because taking in an animal is a responsibility for the rest of their lives. 

If you have a new home lined up, that you are sure is reliable, it sounds like first cat was happier as a singlet.  And if both cats' needs are being shortchanged as you're stretched between the two, it's probably worth at least thinking about.  But I only have the one cat so am not sure what is normal with two.  I'd see about at least starting a dialogue with the prospective new home, maybe let them meet the cat and feel them out.  It doesn't seem like it's bad enough I'd turn him into a shelter or rescue, if I were you, but if you have a good home in mind, it's not a terrible idea.  Do they have other cats?  It sounds like new cat would probably do well with more willing feline company, while old cat is happiest alone.

FureverYours said:

 
It sounds like your older cat does not want another cat in the house. Why, then would you even consider a third?

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      I don't see anywhere where sanecatlady2 has mentioned getting a third cat?

How long have the 2 cats been together?  Last year I brought a stray turned feral ( he had been living outside on his own for almost 2 years) into my home.  I had an indoor only cat inside as well as a dog.  I also had 2 other ferals living on my deck.  The stray/feral (Marvin) was territorial aggressive.  He was very mean to my outdoor ferals and causing me lots of grief.  I tried to find a rescue group to help him out, but no one would take him.  It was kitten season and there was no one available to foster and socialize him.  So to keep my outdoor boys safe, I brought him inside.  He had a room to himself where I worked on socializing him for 2 months.  He did very well.  By the 3rd month I started introductions very very very slowly.  All went well.  Then I made the HUGE mistake of rushing the last steps.  It was a nightmare.  Constant fighting, meowing, yowling, howling and so much stress in my house.  I thought I had made the biggest mistake.  Yet, I knew I owed it to Marvin to try everything I possible could.  I started over with reintroductions.  I know you said you have done the introductions, but you may need to try again and take the steps even more slowly.  Here are 4 sites with some great ideas:

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/introducing-your-cat-new-cat

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/a-simple-little-trick-to-use-during-new-cat-introductions/

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2010/10/01/cat-to-cat-introductions/

When I did the reintroductions, when the cats were ready for face to face time, I did 2 things; 1:  I used a large dog crate.  I put one cat inside and covered the cage on 3 sides.  The cats could safely sniff.  I offered delicious food rewards.  I used plain cooked chicken, tuna and Gerber stage 2 chicken/turkey baby food.  The cats associated each other with good food. 2:  I used a cheap wooden screen door from Lowes ($20) and attached it to a door with tension rods ($4).  I put a gate in the door way for extra stability.  The cats could see each other and the one inside the room, could still see and hear the sounds of the house.  Here is a picture of the set up



One of my cats loves to be up high so I had plenty of vertical space for him.  I had a few cat trees which allowed him to get up and away from Marvin.  You can also use shelving to create a vertical "super highway".  Check out Jackson Galaxy's site on catification.  He has so many ideas on how to create vertical space. 

Another thing that really helped was Liquid Composure Max mixed into the wet food 2x a day.  I started by using it on both cats since my resident cat was so nervous around Marvin.  I used it on Marvin to calm him and help control his impulse to pounce, chase and fight.  I started with the Composure feline treats, but one cat didn't like the taste and it took so many treats each day.  The liquid was so easy to mix into food.  I gave 1/2 t with one meal and 1/4 t. with the other.  I gave the 1/2 t dosage when the cats were at their worst.  For me that was the morning feeding.  I used these in conjunction with multiple feliway plug ins.  The key to the plugs ins is to make sure you have enough.  If you have an open plan house you need lots of them.  I found the spray to be very affective win areas where I didn't have a plug in.

Hopefully this gives you some more ideas.

sueasinsue said:

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• shadowsrescue
• Sep 18, 2013

One of my cats loves to be up high so I had plenty of vertical space for him.  I had a few cat trees which allowed him to get up and away from Marvin.  You can also use shelving to create a vertical "super highway".  Check out Jackson Galaxy's site on catification.  He has so many ideas on how to create vertical space. 

Another thing that really helped was Liquid Composure Max mixed into the wet food 2x a day.  I started by using it on both cats since my resident cat was so nervous around Marvin.  I used it on Marvin to calm him and help control his impulse to pounce, chase and fight.  I started with the Composure feline treats, but one cat didn't like the taste and it took so many treats each day.  The liquid was so easy to mix into food.  I gave 1/2 t with one meal and 1/4 t. with the other.  I gave the 1/2 t dosage when the cats were at their worst.  For me that was the morning feeding.  I used these in conjunction with multiple feliway plug ins.  The key to the plugs ins is to make sure you have enough.  If you have an open plan house you need lots of them.  I found the spray to be very affective win areas where I didn't have a plug in.

Hopefully this gives you some more ideas.

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The calming liquid actually seems like a great idea!  I'm going to go look for it at petco. Your setup with the screen door looks very similar to my setup when I was introducing them. i had them on separate sides of a screen door for each re-introduction and they always seem to eat just fine. it's just in those three situations where the issues come up. I have see a bunch of jackson galaxy videos on catification, but maybe I can add a few more vertical high way spaces (I have a couple, but it doesn't go all the way around the house). Thanks! I think I will try one more time to re-introduce them using the calming liquid and perhaps it will work out this time.

The best place to find Liquid Composure Max is on Amazon or Entirely Pets.  I have never seen it at the pet store. 

I have 2 of the same cat trees, but in different rooms.  I also have 2 others that are different.  I just spread them out around the house.  Only one of my cats like the tall trees.  Marvin, doesn't like to jump or climb so DH built him a not too tall place to perch.  We call it the "apartment".  He has a place to hide as well as look out the window.

You didn't mention how long the cats have been together.

It took my two almost one year to the date before everything completely settled down.  Marvin had to go into his room each night and I shut the door.  He had food/water, litter box and toys as well as his "apartment" to keep him occupied.  He actually really liked his room and was ready for bed each night.  The week before he had been in the house for one year, he decided he no longer wanted to be in his room at night.  It worked out well.  Yet, the entire process took lots of patience and hard work.  I am happy I stuck with it.  You need to decide if you have the dedication, patience, time and effort to put in to making this work.  My two needed almost constant supervision.  If no one was home, one had to be put away.  Once there was a fight, it seemed I was back to square one so the key was to make sure they stayed out of the "trigger areas".  Plain cooked chicken was my friend.  Both cats loved it and would do anything for it.  I would have them in the same room very close to one another and feed them the chicken.  This allowed them to associate good food with each other.  I did this daily.  I also watched body language very closely.  I looked for ear position, tail position, tension and staring. 

How bad, and how often are the fights? I might have misread, but I gathered from your post that they were currently coexisting but not acting like buddies. Is this correct?

My oldest cat, Pooh (who's 18 and lives with my parents) has gone through several introductions to new cats, and while we were never really worried about anyone's safety, Pooh has always taken a while to adjust. Pooh has been both annoyed and intimidated by the younger cats that have been brought home over the years, but they eventually grown on him and there's always that wonderful moment when you catch him and the new cat/cats sleeping together for the first time. I guess my point is, if the aggression is playful and not a constant threat, then continue to follow the advice you've received and give it a good bit of time.