what would you do

what would you do if you were driving along a 55mph country hwy and a skinny cat crossed in front of you? no houses anywhere around.

what if it was a black cat? what about a white cat? a siamese, a persian, a longhair, a shorthair, would any of these things matter?

what if you decided to turn suddenly at a dirt road that crossed there, into the woods, the greenery, and as you turned you noticed the cat, having just crossed the highway, grab a dead small animal from the highway shoulder?

what would go through you mind?  about this cat of course. surely you'd have much on your mind, but what would you be thinking about this cat?

what if you stopped slightly down the dirt road and waited, wondering if the cat would take this dirt road, in the direction it was heading as it crossed the highway;

and what if the cat did come down the dirt road, opposite side from you, and what if you called sweetly and it ignored you and ran faster to get past you, but you kept calling and it slowed, gave a quick glance back at you and then stopped and hungrily ate the small dead animal?

would you realize it wasn't a pure feral -- for they would never stop for a human -- but a cat that had had some contact with humans?

would you think this was an owned cat? a skinny thing that ate road kill? or would you think it was a dumped cat? what would you think?

what if you went to the trunk and got a can of wet food, opened it, and the cat come nervously acoss to you, scared but more starving, and devoured the wet food as starving cats do;

and you grabbed it and got into the car with it, scrawny thing, and felt its tummy and there were, clearly this was a nursing mother cat.

but there was no indication from where this cat might be. you were out in the middle of nowhere. if owned, the cat was not well cared for. if stray, surely facing death from starvation. what would you do?

let it out, hoping the best for it and its babies?

keep it, rescue it, figuring you could at least save the mother?

what would you do?

If this cat came to you when you offered it food and let you pick it up then this is no feral. She has either been lost or dumped. If she's nursing kittens then of course don't move her from where she is. The kittens will soon die without her.

Is this cat in a place that you can get to regularly? If you want to help her you could start going back there every day at around the same time and leaving some food for her. There is a chance that other stray cats and wildlife will find the food first, so maybe you could wait around and see if she shows up.

If you can get her to trust you and to wait for you to feed her every day the nest step would be to trap her and get her spayed. If nothing else not having to raise kittens every year will make her life much easier, even if you can't rehome her.

If I saw a cat like this in a location I had access to locally, I would help the cat out. Like the poster above if the cat is lost or dumped and didn't have kitten I would take it home ( away from my other cats and take it to the vet if it was in really bad condition, have it scanned for a ID chip ) an take care of it. I would try to find the owners by posting ads in Craigslist in multiple city and see what happens, now if the cat was dumped by the owners I would have them cursed

If the cat is in a location you can put food down for it away from the raod and it will let you pick it up I have a great idea to find he kittens, and have them all rescued.  I have on order some Tile devices, but a few other companies make these. If the kitty will let you but a color on it's neck with a attached tracking tile or another makers device, then use your mobile phone to help you track it back to the litter and save em all.  Find a no kill rescue center.

Needless to say 2 of my cats found me, I tried to find the owners but no luck, one was the sweetest bobcat ever, I wasn't sure if she was just hanging out for free food or homeless, but the day I went to pick up her food bowl outside and a coon started to run at me and she jumped in the middle and held her ground was the day she adopted me Rest in peace sweet bob who passed away at the age of 23...  The other cat still lives with us inside and came with the house we bought since I found out someone moved out of one of the houses down the block and she moved in under my house via a open screen. People feed her but no one would step up, so after I found out she was homeless, I moved her up stairs

i think you are very wise norachan, thank you.

thanks owest, that's a clever idea -- the tile devices for rescuing cats! first i'd heard of it. and thanks for the good stories, a dear bobcat of 23, wow, and the standoff with the coon. and stepping up to take the block cat. bravo and thanks.

i was too far from home to contemplate any but the most basic decision: let the cat go -- forever -- or keep it.

could you ever justify taking a mother cat from its kittens?

and almost certainly be condemning the kittens to death?

but wasn't the mother herself near death?

and wouldn't letting her out of the car be ensuring she'd die? 

when she was right here, in the car, you could save her?

she was so skinny.

she was so beautiful.

i sat in the parked car for a long time.

wondered at one point why i was still sitting there, but realized neither choice seemed doable.

let a starving cat back into the wild or take some kittens' mother away, their very connection to life

i prayed. said Lord, let me do the right thing.

was it easier because i couldn't see the kittens? don't let it be so, i said

would i put her out of the car simply because i could not bear the considerable strain of bringing home one more cat? nor let that be so, i said.

and then... thunder didn't clap. i didn't get any signal i could recognize. so it was just me, my dumb self.

i guess i thought, i can help this cat.

i guess it came down to that.

i'm not saying it was the right thing.

i started the car, did a u-turn and headed home in the dusk.

almost 30 miles.

she snuggled in for the ride and showed no hint of objection.

You are an angel to this cat.  You are a wonderful person for doing the best you can for her.  Thank you for caring. 

It's such a hard decision to have to make.

If she was in such a state, what chance would she and her kittens have had anyway?

It's a shame you couldn't find her babies, but I'm glad you're looking after her now.

She looks lovely.

She's a beautiful girl. Looks like she has settled into her new home already.

Does she have a name yet?

such relief your words brought me, shadows, i can't describe. i think i exhaled for the first time in days.

flynnie thank you for understanding what a difficult choice it was

norachan, regarding the name ... well, stay tuned. 

thank you all.

once home i made provisions for her upstairs in quarantine -- water, dry food and litter -- and spent the night with her there.

she was not shy about food but otherwise withdrew to a nook or cranny. not scared, calm but understandably wary.

when once i needed to move her i scruffed and lifted her like a crane three feet from the floor behind a chair, and she didn't protest.

she vomited many times in the night, surely back to the canned food i'd fed her on the dirt road. maybe the animal, too.

i did not welcome the light of dawn when it came as i had not managed to sleep by then. finally maybe we both got a couple of hours.

the day was so heavy.

what had i done?

maybe the kittens were dead already, i allowed.

maybe they were old enough to have a chance on their own, though winter would almost surely kill them if disease did not first.

surely this happened all the time. any cat you see hit by a car, any bird, any squirrel, any possum or raccoon ... all tragic. but i dared not dwell on any but the most probable possibility, that i had taken some young ones' mother and left them to die.

was it reversible? i could take her back, no? every hour weighed heavy.

had they been waiting for her to come back, playing among themselves, knowing she'd been away and back before, and would be back again?

what did they think when she didn't?

it was too hard to consider.

I know you will often wonder and think about the kittens, but you did the right thing.  Have you taken the mother in for vet care yet?  She may have fleas or worms or other parasites that need attention.  She will also need to be spayed and vaccinated. 

You are in my thoughts and I know this situation is difficult.  Just realize the difference you have made in saving this sweet soul.

I would probably let her out and follow for a while as she will go back to her babies even if they are dead. I'm sure you did the right thing though. You are such a wonderful person, just know that you have made the difference between life and death for one sweet kitty.Some people wouldn't care about a random stray cat on a highway. Best wishes to your cat and good luck! 

shadowsR, thanks for your thoughts. i am surprised how strongly you feel it was the right thing, but i admire your decisiveness.  i could use some of what you've got. and i appreciate your advocacy for this dear girl  regarding medical care.

shadowk2001, your suggestion -- releasing her and observing -- provokes much consideration, but it was far from home and felt if i took her back to the scene of the crime and let her go, she'd vanish quickly into the tall grass and i'd lose her. following a cat is easier said than done!

as regards my heart going out to a random stray cat on a highway, i'm sure many of us would at least try to help. i bet you would.

so many cats are too frightened to be helped. usually that makes the decision for us. sometimes all i can do is slow down the car and address them from afar. are you ok? do you need food? and if nothing else, i remember what a preacher i heard once say in a sermon.

if you bless someone in the name of Jesus of nazareth, untold good will come of it.

so often that's all i can do: God bless you! i yell through my open car window. bless you in the name of Jesus of nazareth!

however, this was an unusual case. i stopped to help, and she allowed it.

but where did that leave us?

i considered names for her and rachel came to mind.

 "A voice is heard in Ramah," says a sentence i'd read in the book of matthew,  "weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more."

don't name her that it's too sad, said my mother, who knows the bible much better than i.

i don't want to forget what i've done, i replied.

i moved the cat downstairs, where it was cooler, still giving her a room of her own.  she seemed to tolerate well enough her confinement and greeted me eagerly whenever i brought in food.

when i held and examined her i concluded she was not in terrible shape.

she was emaciated but did not seem sick.  her fur had some of the dullness of undernourishment, but not terribly so and it seemed to be improving. she had one small wound on an ear, but otherwise was rather well without blemish.

surely she had worms, but i didn't see any in her poop. which was at times diarrhea, but even the change in diet would cause that.

when i stroked her i told her how pretty she was. told her how dear she was.

i walked in the city that afternoon, by a busy throughfare, and grief would not let me go.  at one point  i fell onto my knees in the grass of an industrial building, pressed my fists into the sockets of my closed eyes.

dear Lord, i prayed.  please take care of those kittens.

but what did i expect? what really?

i spent the night with her again, at one point putting her on my prostrate body. she did not rush to get off but did not stay long before retreating to her chosen space, the bottom shelf of an old metal rollabout kitchen cart. i think she liked the coolness of the metal in the heat of summer.

as the heavy day closed,i knew i could not leave things as they were.

i would have to return, by myself, to where i found her.

what would i look for? i did not know.

but doing nothing seemed untenable.

I am so sorry for all the pain you are feeling.  I too would be pained.  I think returning to the site if for nothing else closure is a good idea.  If you happen to see the kittens, you could return with a trap.  If you do not see them, say a prayer for their safety.  The Mom appeared to you and allowed you to catch her because she needed your help.  She will continue to need your help the rest of her life. 

I hope you are able to get her to a vet soon.  She will need to be spayed.  You do want her dewormed.  Even if you cannot see the worms, they are most likely there.  You do not want to get them yourself.  You also want to be sure she is healthy.  The diarrhea may be a food change, but it could be worms or something else. 

I love the name Rachel.  Go with your heart and name her what feels right to you. 

You are in my continued thoughts.

I also hope that you do not return her to outside life.  Her best and safest place is with you.

With a leash maybe? Rachel seems right for her.  Good luck!