- Joined
- May 14, 2014
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Weeks ago I posted about the sudden, unexpected death of my cat Backman due to cardiac arrest (not heart disease). I am by no means over it but I've been reflective and thought I'd post about it.
On May 11, 2014 I came back from a bike ride at about 5 p.m. It never would have occurred to me that in an hour my cat Backman would be gone. He had been fine, why would I ever think May 11th was his last day? Surely he had 7 or 8 more years until he was old and would eventually die; it happens to everyone. But he's gone. And here is what his death has taught me: I ask myself why do I miss him sooooo much? And the answer is that I loved him with all my heart and thought very fondly of him. Most cats are sweet and affectionate; Backman was more than that -- he was NICE in a way that you don't see in animals and, as weird as it might sound, I appreciated him. For example, when it was time for breakfast my other cat would run into the kitchen; Back would walk next to me with his tail wrapped around my leg, in essence holding my hand. It sucks for me because I deal with the loss constantly, but I realized something about life from that. You can't always be caught up in what the future might hold; you have to also live in the present. You have to enjoy the time you have and that time could be far more limited than you imagine. But it isn't simply about you enjoying your time; it's about making others enjoy the time you share too. The true gauge of how well you have lived your life isn't the joy you have while you're alive; it's how much others wish you were still alive and with them after you are gone. Call it Backman's Rule.
On May 11, 2014 I came back from a bike ride at about 5 p.m. It never would have occurred to me that in an hour my cat Backman would be gone. He had been fine, why would I ever think May 11th was his last day? Surely he had 7 or 8 more years until he was old and would eventually die; it happens to everyone. But he's gone. And here is what his death has taught me: I ask myself why do I miss him sooooo much? And the answer is that I loved him with all my heart and thought very fondly of him. Most cats are sweet and affectionate; Backman was more than that -- he was NICE in a way that you don't see in animals and, as weird as it might sound, I appreciated him. For example, when it was time for breakfast my other cat would run into the kitchen; Back would walk next to me with his tail wrapped around my leg, in essence holding my hand. It sucks for me because I deal with the loss constantly, but I realized something about life from that. You can't always be caught up in what the future might hold; you have to also live in the present. You have to enjoy the time you have and that time could be far more limited than you imagine. But it isn't simply about you enjoying your time; it's about making others enjoy the time you share too. The true gauge of how well you have lived your life isn't the joy you have while you're alive; it's how much others wish you were still alive and with them after you are gone. Call it Backman's Rule.